In Despair, a hellsing fanfic

In Despair

Written by: Atikkin

Author note: This is a one-shot piece. It is the prequel to a long-fiction that will be submitted sometime soon. The settings take place after the finale of the Hellsing comic illustration.

'Crowned in Despair,' by Sonic Syndicate has been added.

The story credits are given to author, Hirano Kohta.

Happy reading, and enjoy.

All of it…it's my fault…

The Protector hears this sentence every now and then when it happens. And because of it, he must rush away into the darkness to meet the never-ending choir of chaos. It is lead by the fury. Fury is lead by guilt. Guilt consumes the Guardian whole.

The screaming leads him to the rubble caused by those attempting to fracture mankind into extinction.

They who haunt the Earth...

She was the night, night of retribution
A persona not right, blood of pollution
He was the day, day of solution
Shaped like clay, he was led astray

Sauntering out into the moonlight, she reminisces that day. She remembers their faces. They point an accusing finger at her that she is a failure. Hellsing has fallen because of her.

"Her" blood sings in her veins, creating the inferno that fuels her undying hatred.

No fear, no remorse, and no sympathetic gestures as she use to offer to those who fall before her.

Need to search…need to destroy…search and destroy

The skies above her head are infested with the thick black clouds; thunder and lightning creating their dance. Wind soon arrives, carrying the sweet, sick perfume of those who have fallen brutally. Their limbs scatter across the rubble of several buildings. Their faces express their final moments; absolute agony.

She could hear his voice. The boy, the organization's resurrection, is going out of his mind. He clutches onto his head, for her pain is seeping into his mind. He is begging her to stop. The mortal repeats himself over and over, yet his words go unacknowledged.

Only the order from the past whispers in her thoughts. Her current enterprise stands ground to fulfill that promise made several years ago.

She would have to persuade the young one that this is just the way it is…

I would die for you, if you care for me
Tomorrow there`s another crimson dawn
I'll watch it alone, upon the lost throne
Crowned in despair
I would bleed for you, if you stay with me
Tomorrow there`s another endless night
I'll walk it alone, along the lost road
Crowned in despair

Time and time again, it is always that face. Why is it always that face?

Sorrow…?

Wrath…?

Pain…?

Such characteristics he is familiar with, yet he cannot comprehend the bubonic killer corrupting her mind and soul. Countless times, he offers to break the chains of her predicament. To his astonishment, she refuses. Even in the heat of battle as he would shield her, the Guardian continues to push her limits.

Alone, she goes without the assistance of her partner in arms. Not once does she look back at him. From every mission, from every kill, there is the endless night weeping for them both.

They have become far too distant than before...

Couldn't see through her lies, every inch of me dies
Haunted by her face, my memory can´t be replaced
My heart's torn asunder, and maybe life's going under
But I know this will only make me stronger

That day-she hates that day. How could "she" have known and not tell him or her? Why keep it in secrecy?

She is unable to see "her" face staring back at her. Crimson seeks sapphire, but fails when her face full of scars returns to haunt her. The crushing feeling the other would remove for her, she refuses to push aside.

Her rage…

Her pain…

His rage…

His pain…

It is her weapon…

Alucard now senses it. That feeling intensifies when he could hear the outcry of absolute violence. The pentagram on his gloves gives verification, for the runes are burning. By the tip of his fingers he could sense her heart, thudding wildy against her breast. His mind spins in his gyre, for her madness devours her.

Without a second thought, the no life king rushes over the rubble below him; the buildings fall apart as Wrath gives out a battle cry.

Everyone die…

It was never your fault, mind ghosts clouded my view
it was nothing you did, just couldn't help my insecurity from shining through

He finally arrives, standing far across from the other. There is no control. It only pure Chaos, humming wildly as the Guardian's rage toys with her. Her single wing stretches out, her face full of fury, and her might controlled by the insatiable lust for destruction. Dropping the sword, her hands spill with the blood the innocent. Screaming, she grasps both sides of her head; claws digging into her face.

More...more...die...die...DIE...

His eyes expand when he sees "her" wrapping her arms around the smaller woman's frame. A moment later "he," her dead lover, appears placing his hands on both sides of her face to dig the claws out. When their words of comfort are unheard, they gaze upon the elder vampire, pleading him to make her stop.

Save her…that's an order!

Snapping out of his astonishment, he does what he is told. Rushing towards the woman, he wraps his arms around her; placing runes against runes.

"Stop..! Enough…!" He yells in her face. "You must stop!"

Snarling, her hands roughly grasp his neck. Clutching tightly, her laughter increases to where she sounds exactly like him. Her black gloves shine brightly with the pentagram on her forehand. His hands then find her arms, squeezing them to the point where her bones shatter under his grip.

Neither one finishes the job. They remain there motionless, playing this sport. A ridiculous game he thought, yet a reasonable one that will further calm her. His eyes find hers, placing his hands on both sides of her face. Her expression turns vile.

Alucard invades her thoughts and finds her in a corner, thrusting her head continuously against a wall. Silver chains hang over her body, burning into her flesh. Scratching herself, she digs into her scalp. Heavy quarts of her blood, seeping to the floor. She screams. "it was my fault...it was my fault…I'm so sorry," she sobs. She pulls the silver chains, embedding more scars.

He reaches out for her and stops her from tormenting herself further.

"No," he says for the umpteenth time. "It was not fault. It was never your fault." His hands tear through the chains, freeing her. He wraps his arms around her as trembles. She hands cling onto his coat for dear life. He leans her back to look at her porcelain face to see the gashes; he laps at the one between her lips.

Thrusting back to reality, they find each other wrapped in his shadows. He clutches her tightly until her rage falls into a deep slumber. The runes on her hands cease, with his following.

The skies gradually clear. Night begins to shift to day; the red color of the east begins to eat through the navy blue. The lady vampire stands, almost surprising him.

"He calls for us. We must leave," she says, picking up her sword. She begins to make her way. Again, she acts though nothing has happened after this episode. Her sire stands up and aims the Jackal. She stops, not bothering to turn around and face him.

"Your need for this power will tear you from the inside out, if you do not learn how to control it," He says.

"That is my problem," she says, coldly.

"Your problem becomes mine."

"You may careless."

"I do careless," he snaps, angrily.

"Then what are you doing?"

"This," he begins. "This has been going on, long enough. If this continues, you stupid girl, I'll put an end to your miserable life now."

She stands there like a statue before turning her head in a slow, eerie pace. Cold, burgundy faces off with angry crimson as she turns her entire body around, her long white shirt rustling with the wind. Sauntering towards with him with that expressionless gaze, she snatches the barrel of the gun and slams it against her forehead.

"So end it..." she replies.

Alucard stares down at her, a hint of shock on his face. He stares into those eyes; how the remind him of "her." Looking into the frozen depths, he realizes that she accepts this. She does not bother to put up a fight. He frowns.

Does this idiot not know...?

"You bore me," Alucard mutters, pulling the gun away from her head. Her eyelids lower as her crimson windows turn to a strong red.

She turns her back to him as she hears their human master summoning them. Alucard watches her leave. His eyes turn to the sunrise. Once again, the king of all vampires enjoys this moment alone without his companion by his side; either the human or the vampiress making her way back to headquarters.

"No matter," he says, sighing. He places the Jackal back in his coat. "But remember, whatever the cost, police girl...Victoria , I will be watching over you."

Author note: Thank you for reading.