Honne
Honne means the private, true face that is only seen behind closed doors. Just so you know there will be a lot of religious talks and a short domestic violence scene here, so be warned.
Disclaimer: I do not own Inazuma Eleven Go, nor do I own any of the characters. I also do not own the Catholic religion or the Seven Day Adventist. However the following story is based on an experience of mine.
Italics- for thoughts, memories, emphasis or letters/emails.
A facade. That is all life has been, just spent creating a big smokescreen to hide away the truth.
She pretends her family life is normal, that there is so much love and warmth in it. When things get bad she tries to tough it out; she pretends that they don't get to her. But they do. No-one can escape the bad she toughs it out because losing it is not something she can afford if she didn't want to get swallowed up in the mess lies can create.
Midori stared out the train window, watching the landscape outside speed by. It was late at night, and quite dark so there was really nothing to see out there. She turned instead to her mother, who was seated next to her, breathing softly, her head bent forward as she slept. Midori stared hard at the bandage across the bridge of her mother's nose and the large bruise that not even the huge pair of sunglasses could hide properly. Lilly Seto had been beautiful woman in her time. However, the stresses of marriage (in particular, marriage to that man) had made her features faded and now the recent bruises marred her face. True, they would fade in a few days but it always hurt Midori to see her mother like this. She then leaned forward to gaze over at Gran, her mum's mum, who sat beside her daughter, only to find the old lady studiously reading her Bible, a rosary in her hand, slowly mumbling the words. It was painful enough seeing her mother hurt, but she can only guess how much more it hurt Gran to see her daughter treated so badly.
Midori gritted her teeth in frustration and returned to gazing out the dark window. She just felt like punching something, preferably the face of the man who did this to them, her own father.
To the outside world they were a private but friendly family. Her mother is at the top of her department at the Tokyo University, a smart, well-liked and respected Catholic. Her dad is much, much older than his wife so he was nearing retirement, but he is charismatic and well known for his generosity and dedication to the Seven Day Adventist church; a regular pillar of society. Midori is a self-proclaimed agnostic; she used to joke that they were made up of different denominations between just the three of them. However, behind the closed doors of their home it's an entirely different story altogether. Her father is a hypocrite and a tyrant. While the two women were normally outspoken and brave, at home they were reduced to nothing more than voices that fall on deaf ears, no matter how loud they were. And many times over the course of Midori's 14 years of life, he has threatened to either bash her or Lilly up, or (very recently) to kill them, typically over some imagined insult, and at times he has beaten his wife.
Although the man had only been a SDA for less than a year, he was already a fanatic. Right after joining the church he began making extreme changes to the family's lifestyle; a major change was his sudden devotion to family prayer sessions every Friday as Saturday was his Sabbath.
At first Midori and Gran just went along with it, humouring him as the man was always bouncing from denomination to denomination (he was initially agnostic, Methodist, then Jehovah's Witness, and there were even talks of him becoming a Mormon) as if he was trying to find himself. And it used to be fine; life did seem a little better for their family. Midori had even thought she may as well get to know God more this way. Then he forced Mum to come home from work early just to join in, and before they realized it, he would spend over 10-20 minutes just ranting at what liars the Catholic Church was, how Sabbath is Saturday and not Sunday, how the Church was just filled with pagans, the Jewish people were thieves... And so on and so forth. Soon the precious prayer sessions transformed into hate-mongering speeches, and then he'd even turn on them with threats, with no provocation at all. In fact he was becoming more obnoxious, aggressive, egotistical, and critical (especially of his wife's devotion to the Catholic Church); just all round nastier than before.
But the thing that really pissed Midori off was the sermon of unconditional love, of which he would talk about for 5 weeks in a row, about God's unconditional love for all people except homosexuals, pagans and other undesirables, and then he would say that if they didn't like his sermons then they should move out (and then some more threats of beatings).
She just couldn't handle listening to his preaching when she knew that the words were coming from a hypocrite. But what could she do? Each time she tried to rebel she had been chased out (more accurately, physically thrown out) of their home, and only the begging of her mother would make him allow her back.
Then that Saturday, the man finally snapped.
It had been an uneventful morning; Midori, Lilly and Gran were just doing their chores like they always do, and with living in a big house that's a lot of chores. Her dad, of course had gone to church. The trouble started when he returned.
"Oi, Midori!" he called. The girl immediately shot out of her room and stood at the top of the stairs.
"Yeah?" she shouted. She had to speak loud as he tended to pretend that he was deaf too.
"Call your mother down," he said. "We're going to have devotion now."
"But we had devotion yesterday!"
"Well now we're going to do this on Saturday too. Now hurry up. Call your mother. "
"Hang on a minute!" Midori turned. Her mother appeared and stood beside her, leaning over the railing to look at her husband. "We tolerate the Friday sessions only. What's this about praying every Saturday?"
"Come down."
"Why? Look, we've just finished cleaning this house and we're tired."
"That's fine; don't come if you don't want to. I just wanted to pray, that's all." Lilly just sighed, and then she descended the stairs.
"I'm gonna be in my room, okay," Midori called from behind. She returned to her room and sat down heavily on her bed. She got this weird sensation in her knees, and when she looked at her hands she found that they were trembling. Something bad was going to happen; she could feel it.
She heard her dad's voice from downstairs. "Where's that girl?" They were probably at the dining table, which is just beneath the railings.
"You said we don't have to come if we don't want to, so she decided to stay upstairs."
There was a heavy silence. Finally he said, "Why can't you all just come down to pray when I say so, huh?"
"But we have devotion on Friday. I don't kn-"
"YOU JUST WANT TO UNDERMINE MY AUTHORITY, DON'T YOU, YOU BASTARD!"
Midori jumped when she heard his shout. "Geez, not even a minute passed and he's already getting angry," she muttered to herself, but her heart was pounding and her legs were jelly.
Dad's voice was loud as he spoke again. "What's wrong with resting on the Sabbath, huh? Who told you to do all that cleaning? You should've just left it for tomorrow."
"Because Sunday is when we rest."
"And who's authority is it to decide when Sabbath is? The Pope? You gang are just fucking pagans!"
"Look, you said you just wanted to pray. Why are you -"
"YOU LISTEN HERE BEFORE I BLOODY BREAK YOUR NOSE!" he suddenly yelled. Midori flinched and drew her knees to her chest. Her dad always got angry during devotion but this seemed different.
"Hey, hey, why are you getting angry for?"
"Because you just trying to undermine my authority. When you undermine the authority of the head of the house, you're undermining God's authority!"
"But no-one is saying anything. You're getting angry for no reason at all."
"What did you say?"
"Let's just get this over with. I'm tired and I want to lie down."
"You Catholics are real pagans, you know that?"
Oh no, here it comes, Midori thought. A hallmark of her father's sermons would be the Catholics versus the SDA; every chance he got he would bring it up and try to initiate a debate or battle with the only two Catholics in his household. Her grandmother always kept quiet at these times, probably was distracting herself by silently reciting 'Hail Mary' or something. Her daughter, unfortunately, always rose to take the bait.
"Why do you always have to bring the Church or the Pope into this? For once just stop rubbishing my faith."
"But your faith is rubbish," he retorted. "The Church just changed the Sabbath to Sunday to accommodate the sun worshippers! They deviated from the Bible, they moved away from God's word to bring in the heathens!"
"No, they evolved to spread the wor-"
"They were pagans! Plain and simple."
"And the Seven Day Adventists are better? It's just quite a recent thing compared to other religions."
"We are better because we follow the Word to the letter! You don't like it, well too bad. You pack and you take that girl and you get out of this house. I won't tolerate heathens under my roof."
"What the- ? Look, you're just imposing your will on us!"
"What did you say?"
"Religion is about tolerance and acceptance. What you're doing is forcing us to go along with you."
"You are my family! I'm the head of this house, God made me head of this family! As my family, you should follow my faith!"
"Excuse me, is that what they preach in your church? To force your views onto others? I am not going to abandon my faith just to follow your crackpot religion!"
"Then you get out! Go pack your things and take your daughter. Get out!"
Midori was stunned at her father's words. What did she do? Her mother was probably stunned too because it took a while before she heard her say, "What? Why should I leave, I'm the one paying for this hou-"
THUD. Then Gran started shouting but her voice was drowned out by her son-in-law's nearly incoherent ranting. Midori slowly got up and opened her door. She heard the dull thud sounds and slowly stepping out, she leaned over the railing. The sight below was horrifying.
Lilly was face down on the floor with her hands covering her face, her chair fallen on its side, while her father towered over her. He was raining punches on her body, hitting whatever part he could, all the while yelling and cursing her. Gran was standing to the side, pleading for him to stop. Lilly was also weakly pleading. "S-s-st-stop it. Ow, please!" But he wouldn't stop.
Midori ran to her room and came back with her cell phone and opened the camera application, which was difficult as her hands were shaking terribly. She set it t video, and then she held the device over the railing so that it captured everything.
"Please, son, just stop it," Gran said shakily. "You're hurting her, please st-"
"Shut up!" he snarled. He only stopped hitting the prone body to point menacingly at his mother-in-law. "Shut up and stay out of this. It has nothing to do with you!" He delivered one final blow to his wife's head and strode for the stairs. Midori had barely made it to her room and had just shut the door when he banged on it, hitting it so hard that two framed photos on her wall both fell and broke.
"GET OUT HERE, YOU SWINE!"
Her heart almost stopped when he banged on the door again. Hands shaking, she pulled the door open. A huge hand reached out and grabbed her by the collar. "Go downstairs to your mother," he ordered, nearly throwing Midori down the steps.
Immediately she ran to the kitchen where her Gran was comforting Lilly. Midori's stomach turned when she saw the blood streaming from her mother's nose, already soaking her clothes and dripping on the floor.
"Oh my God, Mum!"
"Get me some ice, in a bucket. And a dishcloth," the woman said thickly, breathing out her mouth. Gran then took her daughter by the shoulders and steered her to her room. Midori swallowed hard and quickly set about getting the ice cubes and spilling them into a yellow bucket, and pouring ice water into it. Grabbing a dishcloth she followed after them. Her mind was racing and fear was in her heart, and she felt so powerless. If he tried to hit her, she wouldn't be able to stop him. And the ferocity of his attack was so brutal. Who's to say that next time he won't kill them all?
"Damn it!" she muttered, clutching the dishcloth tightly as hot tears trickled from her eyes. She pushed open the door of Gran's room. Lilly had her back to her because she was surveying the damage in the large mirror. She saw her daughter and turned, took the bucket, and then turned back to the mirror. "He broke my nose," was all she said. Midori watched anxiously as she soaked the cloth and then gently wiped the blood of her face.
Midori tried not to cry but she could feel the tears coming down. Dammit, what did her mother do to deserve such treatment! Why was her father such a bastard!
"Mum?"
"Huhn?"
"So what are you gonna do?"
Her mother pondered the question, then she said, "Can you get my mobile? I need to call your aunt."
"Huh? Which one?"
"Your father's sister."
Midori groaned. Her aunts from her father's side were never close to them (thanks to her father alienating them), and while not as bad as their brother they were a bit obnoxious. "Why?"
"Just get the phone!"
Quietly, Midori slipped out the room. She took the stairs two steps at a time, while trying to be as quiet as she could. She hoped that her dad wasn't in the bedroom, and sighed in relief on seeing that was empty. She grabbed the phone, then retrieved her own, and returned to her mother.
"Here," she handed the device over. Lilly's face was wiped clean but she still held the cloth to it. Her nose was still bleeding. She punched in a number and held it to her ear. Midori could hear the faint ringing and then a click as the call was answered. Here Lilly finally broke down in tears; she could barely get a sentence out. Midori stared at her with wide eyes. She'd never seen her mother break down like this, not even in the past when she got slightly worse beatings. Was this beating the last straw?
She could barely understand what her mother was saying but eventually she seemed to calm down and explained what had happened more clearly.
"So, could you like, call the pastor, the preacher or whatever they call them, and just ask what exactly they are teaching in their sermons, please," she asked. She listened to the reply, and then said, "Yes... yes, ask their leader to talk to him... yeah, he'll only listen to someone from there." Then she hung up.
"What was that about?" Midori asked.
"I asked your aunt to call the leader of that group and let them know what kind of person that man really is, because she's good friends with some of the members."
"I think they must be preaching some real messed up stuff," Midori said stiffly. After all, alot of his actions were based on the Seven Day Adventist doctrines. She cursed softly when she felt a prickling in her eyes. Damn it, don't cry!
"No, that's not true," Lilly replied. She gazed steadily at her daughter. "The religion is not to the one to blame; your father has always been a psychotic egomaniac. He's just hiding behind the Adventists."
Midori sniffed. "Okay. But what about us?"
Lilly was silent. She gazed at her reflection for a while. At last she spoke, "This is the last time. I will not put up with this crap anymore."
Midori stared at her. Is she saying what she thought she was saying? Gulping, she asked, "Are- are you gonna leave him?"
"Yes. I'm not to take anymore of him always putting us down and hurting us. This was the final straw!"
Hands shaking, Midori pulled out her phone. Holding it up, she admitted, "I took a video of the whole thing."
"Good," the older woman nodded. "Keep it. I'll need it as evidence." Dear Lord, she really meant to leave him.
Gran came in, and they all sat down where they could in the small room. Midori wished she was more like her Gran, who was calmly reading her Bible and praying that they will be safe, instead of crying and panicking like her granddaughter. The room was silent save for the sound of water as Mum squeezed the cloth into the bucket and continued to wipe her face.
"I'm so sorry," Gran told her daughter suddenly. "I couldn't stop him. I'm not as strong as your father was, rest his soul. I'm so sorry."
"Gran, what would've Grandpa done if he were alive," Midori asked, glad to think of something other than that their lives could be in danger. But it was Lilly who answered.
"Your Grandpa would've attacked him! He wouldn't let him get away with this."
"Really?"
"Yes. My papa was a strong man, but he never laid a finger on us. He would beat up anyone who did though."
"Really!"
"Yes. Midori, you should never marry anyone who verbally or physically hurts you. Marry someone who's gentle like Grandpa, okay? In fact, just work hard and get a good job so you won't have to rely on any man."
Normally Midori would reply that she will never marry because all men were bastards, but after hearing of her kind grandpa she decided not to. "What's the plan?" she asked instead. Lilly was quiet again before telling her to go upstairs and start packing as quietly as she could. When he falls asleep, all three of them will leave the house.
And that was exactly what they did. They'd packed clothes, money, food, and whatever prized and necessary items (they didn't have much anyway as her father liked to show off his generosity at the expense of his family) they needed into small suitcases (or Midori's case, a large backpack), and then stole away from that prison of a home. They had made it to the station just as a train to Osaka arrived. They bought tickets and boarded it without a second thought, just elated at their daring.
So now they were on their way to Osaka, a place where they knew no-one and where no-one knew them. It was overwhelming when they disembarked from the train, at last in Osaka, finally realizing how far from home they were. But their steps were lighter when they also realized that they were free, even her calm Gran and bruised mother smiled happily.
-4 days later-
Midori was absent from school for 4 days, finally making an appearance on Friday. Everyone wanted to know why she had been absent, whether she had been sick or was a family member sick, but what could she say? She just waved them off with a bright grin and headed to the soccer club. On the way she met Akane.
"Midori-kun, how are you?" her fellow manager asked gently. "You were absent for so long, someone said you transferred."
"Nah, I'm great! Just went on a short trip with my Mum and Gran!" she laughed. Akane smiled then asked how her weekend was. "Uh, pretty boring actually," she answered. Her friend seemed satisfied with her answer and they continued on their way. Midori didn't feel like telling her closest friend the truth, because that would mean peeling away the facade to expose her whole sorry life.
Of course, no-one at school knew. No-one at the university knew. And they will probably never know. They all only see the tatemai (public face) of a loving, normal family; they think that Midori's happy grin is real; they won't realize that Lilly is wearing foundation to hide the bruises; and will expect that the happy couple will soon be getting a divorce for "irreconcilable differences". But maybe it'll change when the family are ready to finally tell the truth.
Yes, this long one-shot is based on a true account of mine. Just so you know I am not bashing any religion or denomination, but these do play a major part in the story as they do in real life. And I thought Midori would be perfect because sometimes the tough girl act usually hide a more vulnerable side in most anime.
A little note: Honne and Tatemai roughly mean the private face and the public face, respectively. So basically not everyone is what they seem (I read it up somewhere). But please, read and review, it would make the hours I spent on this worth it!