Pitter
Patter
Pitter
Patter
The rain sounded outside my window. I watched as it soaked everything in its path.
Pitter
Patter
Pitter
Patter
Normally I was afraid of storms, but not now, now that he's left me.
Pitter
Patter
Pitter
Patter
I reached out and touched the window, wishing I could be the rain. How lovely would it be to have no worries what so ever? All that you would be concerned about would be where you landed next. A silent tear slipped down my face. Why did he have to leave me?
*****
"Hi Darien!" I cried as I came skipping down the path to meet him. Today had been the worst day of my life. I had gotten up late again, got to school later than I normally did, failed my math test, got detention, spilled ice cream all over my favorite top, got kicked out of the house for the night by my parents for failing another test, and lost all my money when it fell into the gutter. Despite all that, I was happy, for I was always happy when Darien was around. Turning around, I gasped in shock. His normally warm blue eyes were now a deep clouded black. "Is something wrong?" I asked, concern in my voice.
"Serena, I can't see you anymore" he states coldly, sending shivers down my spine. My world came crashing down on me right then and there.
"Why Darien?" I asked, my voice just a whisper. Was it something I did? Something I said perhaps? Tears formed in my eyes, ready to become unleashed at any time.
"There you go again! Stop being such an indolent crybaby Serena! For goodness sakes you're sixteen already! When are you going to grow up?!?!?"
"Grow up?" I asked puzzled.
"Yes, grow up. Honestly Serena, you're two years younger than me! You fail all of your tests for crying out loud! You can barely walk down the street without tripping, you're so darn klutzy! To add to that, no matter how skinny you are, you eat enough for three people! Do really expect me to hang around with you?"
"You don't mean that" I pleaded, despair in my voice.
"I can and do" he replied harshly, turning his back towards me.
"But what about our past?" I asked, fighting for what little I had left.
"I can't be held down by our past Serena. I need to live MY life the way I want to"
My tears threatened to spill down my cheeks, but I held them back. I would not give him the satisfaction of letting him see me cry.
"If that's how you feel" I said, composing myself for that while. "Than good-bye and good riddance!" I cried as I turned around and walked away. When I was out of site, I ran and ran as fast I could, my tears that had been held back so long quickly came loose.
*****
Going back, Darien stood, tears in his eyes.
"I'm sorry…"
*****
Now here I am, sitting in my room. Nothing mattered anymore. Eating was no longer essential; in fact, I hadn't eaten since the day he left me and that was two days ago. My stomach growled hungrily, but I paid no heed. I just sat on bed, watching outside the window as the rain fell to the ground.
Pitter
Patter
Pitter
Patter
My mom tried calling me down for dinner again, but I ignored her. I could tell she was getting worried as were the rest of my family, but it did not matter. I just wanted to stay up here with my one true friend…myself.
*****
"Gee Serena; you're such a Meatball Head!! I can't believe that you're my friend!" Raye shouted angrily at me as I showed up late for another study session.
"Sorry Raye, it's just that…"
"Let me guess, you had detention again" Lita filled in, her words dripping with venom.
"Yea, but…"
"Serena, it's been over an hour!!! Do you have any idea how many minutes we've wasted just waiting for you?" Amy questioned, anger in her voice.
"I'm sorry, but you see…"
"We don't want to hear it Serena!" Mina shouted, standing up. "We're sick and tiered of your antics!! We've taken a vote Serena, and we're kicking you out of the group" she declared as she took her seat again.
'Kicked me out?" I thought in my head. "But guys, you don't understand…"
"Save it Serena for someone who cares!" Raye shouted as she got up. "Good-bye and good riddance!" she blazed as she pushed me out the door. "You can come back when you're no longer an irresponsible klutz!" With that, she shut the door in my face.
*****
"Do you think that was a good idea?" Mina asked after Raye closed the door.
"I don't know, but it's the only way we can get her to change" Raye replied.
"I just hope we're doing the right thing" Amy sighed. "She has one of the biggest hearts I know"
"We can only pray that it will work out in the end" Lita stated silently, as they gazed out the window at the rain that had just started to fall.
*****
Why did things turn out like this? Turning on the radio, I heard Evanescence's song Tourniquet come on.
I tried to kill the pain;
but only brought more.
I lay dying
and I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal.
I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming.
Am I too lost to be saved?
Am I too lost?
My God, my tourniquet,
return to me salvation.
My God, my tourniquet,
return to me salvation.
Do you remember me;
Lost for so long?
Will you be on the other side
or will you forget me?
I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming.
Am I too lost to be saved?
Am I too lost?
My God, my tourniquet,
return to me salvation.
My God my tourniquet,
return to me salvation.
My wounds cry for the grave.
My soul cries for deliverance.
Will I be denied Christ?
Tourniquet;
my suicide.
As the song ended, I thought about how similar it was to my own feelings. How ironic was it that this song was exactly what I was going through. My friends before had been the one thing that had prevented me from bleeding like this, they were my tourniquet. The last word however, stayed ringing in my head though… suicide. Looking at my clock, I noted that it was already eleven o'clock; everyone would be asleep by now.
Silently, I opened door and peered out; no one was there. Quietly tiptoeing downstairs, I went straight for the kitchen. My stomach yearned for me to go to the refrigerator and see what we had for leftovers, but I ignored it. Instead, I headed for the drawer where we kept the knives. Opening the door, I was greeted by a variety of shimmering silver metal, all deathly breathtaking. Picking one up, I carefully examined it. It had a long silver blade that seemed like an iron tooth. Turning it over, it seemed to shine with evil in the moonlight. It begged for me to take it, do something with it, and so I did. Finding a napkin, I wrote a note to my family. Finally, lifting it above my chest, I caught one more flash of the evil iron tooth before I plunged it into my heart.
Pitter
Patter
Pitter
Patter
I heard the rain sound from outside. Blood flowed steadily from my wound. The rain began to lighten up as my breath became suddenly shallower. Closing me eyes, the world suddenly drew black. The rain slowly began to stop.
Pitter
Patter
Pitter
Patter
Just like my beating heart.
*sniff, sniff* I KNOW IT WAS SO SAD! BUT CUT ME SOME SLACK!!! I'VE READ SO MANY DEATH FICS AND I HAD A REALLY BAD DAY TODAY CUZ MY NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE WAS ON FIRE, SO I NEEDED TO TAKE MY SADNESS OUT SOMEHWERE.