Disclaimer: I wish :)
A scream. That's what woke Castle from his sleep. He blinked his eyes open and sat upright looking for the source of the sound. He looked over to the other side of the bed and saw Beckett turning violently in her sleep. Her forehead was covered with a sheen of sweat and her fists were clenched around the sheets.
"No! Please don't! Leave me alone," screamed Beckett.
Castle carefully moved closer and touched her face. "Kate, wake up. It's just a nightmare. Please wake up." She didn't respond. She just kept squirming on the bed. Castle hated seeing her like this. He grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her gently, trying to get her to wake up.
Suddenly, she opened her eyes and tears started streaming down her face. Panicking, Beckett looked around the room. She was disoriented and had no idea where she was. That's when she saw Castle's face hovering above her. She sat up, buried her face in his shirt and started sobbing. He wrapped his arms around her and stroked her back.
"Shh, Kate. It was just a nightmare. You're safe now. It's okay."
She kept shaking in his arms and he went on whispering comforting and soothing words into her hair.
After a few minutes her sobs finally died down and she pulled away from his chest. "I'm sorry," she said, wiping at the tears still falling from her eyes.
"Kate, look at me." She lifted her hands from her face and looked into his eyes. "You have nothing to apologize for, honey. Really. Do you want to talk about it?"
"I'm not sure."
"Okay, whatever you need. Is there anything I can do to help?" asked Castle. Beckett hadn't had a nightmare for a long time, but now he knew that their next few nights wouldn't be easy.
"Just hold me," replied Kate, burying her face in his neck.
They stayed like that, sitting in the middle of their bed, for what felt like hours. Beckett found comfort in the strength of her husband's embrace. The silence was broken by Kate's whisper, "There was so much blood, Rick."
Castle pulled away and his face changed to a look of horror when he realized that she must have been re-living killing Nieman. "Oh god, Kate. I'm so sorry."
"I had to stab her with her own scalpel. I kept stabbing her, but she kept fighting back. I cut her throat and there was so much blood. It felt awful," she paused to take a shaky breath, "I've never done anything like that before. Killing with a gun is less personal, less gruesome. Does killing her make me like them? A murderer?" Her voice was trembling when she finally stopped talking. Tears started streaming down her face again.
Castle gently tilted her chin upwards and looked into her eyes. "Kate, honey, you are nothing like them. Don't even think that. You did what had to be done to survive. And I'm so glad you did, cause you're here. You're alive and safe ant that's what matters. You are so brave and amazing and I love you so much." He leaned down and softly kissed her.
"I love you too and thank you so much," whispered Kate.
"Always." He kissed her one more time and took her hand in his. "Now, come on. I'll make us some hot cocoa."
Kate smiled for the first time since earlier that evening.
"I'd love that."
A/N: Reviews greatly appreciated.