Title: You're married?
Summary: Portugal thinks it's about time to tell the other countries he and England are married - after managing to keep it a secret for 350 years.
Disclaimer: All the APH characters are Hidekazu Himaruya's.
A/N: I was cleaning my files and decided this is good to publish. :) I wrote this maybe 1-2 years ago when I was much pondering about whether Portugal would appear in APH or not (Note! I haven't read the newest APH lately so I don't know whether Portugal has appeared canon yet.)
This was just a piece to let out my love for Portugal/England and thus has no proper plot. I just wanted to write them together and imagine them together and such. (I'm a diehard UKUS fan but my love for PorEng is going strong, too) The Italics are in Portuguese because I imagined England would have learned his lover's language and speaks it with him all the time.
So, in a nutshell: A short little PortugalEngland oneshot. :) Please enjoy!
Italics - In Portuguese
YOU'RE MARRIED?
"Good morning, Inglaterra."
"Oh, good morning, Portugal", England turned around to smile at the man. He looked quickly around the hallway if anyone was there and as he saw none he leaned in to give Portugal a kiss on the lips. "It's been too long."
"Three weeks and four days", Portugal answered melancholically. "But come. I need to talk to you." He grabbed England's hand in his and gave a quick look around and dragged him quickly through a door.
Portugal locked the door behind them and England realised they were in a toilet. He didn't know why Portugal had taken him there – though he wished for one thing, but as Portugal had sounded rather serious he assumed it was something else.
"Has something happened?" England frowned.
Portugal leaned against the door and shook his head. "No, but I've been thinking…" he started in Portuguese.
"Yes?"
"You know we've been married for over 350 years…"
England inhaled sharply and all colour drained from his face. Portugal looked mystified.
"Inglaterra?" he said softly. Suddenly his mouth fell open and his eyes widened as he realised what England had thought. "Oh, no no, Inglaterra, my angel!" He rushed over to England and threw his arms around him. "I love you", he whispered and kissed England in a way that made his feelings very clear. "I love you", he whispered again and cupped England's face in his hands.
England looked away in shame. "I'm sorry", he muttered. "I already thought you were fed up with me… I thought my worst nightmare had come true."
Portugal kissed England again. "It'll never come true", he whispered and smiled softly at England.
England blushed and smiled back. "What did you mean, then?" he asked, whispering as they heard steps in the hallway.
Portugal blushed. "My angel… We've been married for over 350 years and yet no one knows."
England blinked. That's what this was about? He couldn't have been more relieved! "You want to tell?"
"Yes", Portugal nodded firmly. "Because, Inglaterra, two weeks ago I was in a bar just having a drink after work, when someone hit on me and frankly, asked me to come with him. I told him I'm married and he asked: 'Why don't you wear a ring then? Doubting your marriage?' And… I don't know, after that I've been thinking why no to tell. Because I really want them to know, Ingla. And I… I would love to wear your ring again." He let his hands fall to England's shoulders and draped them around his neck, putting his cheek against England's.
England breathed in Portugal's sweet scent of black tea and put his arms around him. "Of course, Portugal, love. I want them to know the loveliest man in the world is mine."
"So you're willing to tell?"
"Yes", England answered in Portuguese and embraced Portugal stronger. "There's no reason to stay quiet anymore when you and Spain are friends and homosexuality is legal in our countries." England breathed Portugal's scent again and gave him a small kiss on the cheek. "And I would love to wear your ring again, too."
Portugal laughed a happy, relieved laugh and took a step back to look England eye to eye. "Inglaterra, I love you so much and I can't wait to have the others know." He smiled a flirtatious smile. "Because then I can kiss you in the meetings, take your hand at lunch and cup a feel of your ass in the halls…"
England blushed bright red. "Po-Portugal!" he stuttered.
"And you're welcome to do the same", Portugal purred and slid his hand down to England's ass and England blushed even more.
"I-I shall, later", England muttered and checked his watch. "Ten minutes." He frowned and bit his lip. "How do you wish to tell? I will hold the last presentation today, so if you wish, I could announce it at the same."
"At the end", Portugal said firmly. His eyes were shining. "It'll be the perfect ending: after all the boring speeches you come and announce you're married. They'll die of shock!"
"Die of shock because we've kept it a secret for so long or because they'd have never thought someone would marry me?" England asked dryly.
"Both?" Portugal suggested with innocent voice. "But angel, that applies to me, too. São Tomé and Brazil always laugh how I'll never find anyone because I'm so depressing."
"Depressing?" England repeated. "You're not depressing."
"To them I am. You northerns are different." Portugal flashed a quick smile. "But, that reminds me… Do you think any of them have found out about us?"
England quirked his eyebrows. "Have found out about our marriage, you mean? I doubt, no, because they couldn't have kept it a secret. But does Spain know? He knew we were in love but does he know more?"
"Oh, he suspected we were at least engaged, but I guess he thought we broke up when we stopped using our rings." Portugal shrugged. "He's so in love with Romano he doesn't care about my life anymore."
"We'll, that's only good", England smiled and gave Portugal a long, soft kiss. "But love, the meeting is starting. Shall we go?"
"Together?"
"Why not", England smiled. "We are planning on telling, anyways, and I doubt they'd think anything if we just arrive together. But I do suggest checking out if anyone's on the hallway, because seeing us come out of the toilet together would ruin the surprise."
"Even though we did nothing", Portugal sighed in disappointment and opened the door."Olá, Uru! Olá, Para!" he greeted immediately and England cursed in his mind. Uruguay and Paraguay, the gossipers of South America! If they saw England now the whole world would know in five seconds, and what worse, not even the truth but an assumption that they had done something in the toilet.
"Hola, tío", England heard Uruguay say before Portugal turned the light off and closed the door so it was ajar only by an inch.
England tiptoed to the door to listen when the three footsteps would be gone. Soon as the hallway sounded completely empty England hurried off to the meeting room.
The meeting was starting in chaos, as always.
Because of a practical joke Turkey had done to Greece (nails on his chair) the two of them were fighting yet again and Germany, Ghana and Guinea-Bissau were trying their best to break them apart. Macedonia had been seated between France and Finland because of the F.Y.R. in his name but had complained and been seated with other M-starting nations. Thus Finland and France now sat next to each other which didn't make Sweden too happy and he kept on glaring at France from the other side of the table. America wanted to be seated as 'America' because that way he'd be closer to the start. Romano was angry to be seated so close to Germany, while Micronesia was yelling for Fiji who was nowhere to be seen.
England sighed deeply and sought his place. At least he had a good view of Portugal even though he hated alphabetical order otherwise because that way he was always seated next to America or too close to the frog.
Finally the meeting could start. New Zealand, the host country, welcomed all to this month's meeting and warned everyone of Australia's runaway (killer) koala. After that the presentations started with Ghana.
England tried his best to concentrate and take notes but it was hard when all he could think about was how soon all would know Portugal was his husband. He couldn't hold back his smile at the thought. Portugal, whom he had been friends with for 700 years, lovers for 500 years and married to for 350 years…
"Oy, Inglaterra", El Salvador to his left woke him from his day dreams. "Can you borrow paper?"
England sighed. Typical of Spain's children. "Here", he gave him half of his own sheets.
"Thank you."
After that England managed to jot down the main ideas of each presentation, but otherwise he really didn't even try to focus. Thinking about Portugal was much better.
"Next up is England."
England straightened his back as he heard his name. He grabbed his papers and stood up, heading to the front. He had decided to shock at the beginning already.
"Good day ladies and gentlemen. And wine face." France shed mock tears. "Before I start I need to tell you that I have a… personal announcement to make at the end of my presentation."
That woke up the slumbering nations and had all turn their eyes to England. A personal announcement? Was it something boring like looking for his lost watch or something big like revealing he was really 10 000 years old?
England cleared his throat and begun his presentation, knowing full well that the watchful looks weren't because of his brilliant point in the world's trade route assignments but rather because the others were hoping for something to gossip about. He didn't care. At least this way they wouldn't rush off the second he had said his last word of the presentation.
Calmly England held his presentation knowing well Portugal was watching and cheering him on. When the last sentence came he took a deep breath and ended his speech.
The listening nations gave a quick applause but soon fell into an awaiting silence. England cleared his throat. "As I said, I have a personal announcement to make…"
"You're retiring?" Guyana suggested.
"No I'm not, shut up." England took another deep breath and rubbed his temples and started again. "I don't know if you've found out already, but… I'm married."
The following shock was unbelievable: those who had been careless enough to sip their water spat it out immediately; some cracked their pens in half in shock; others fell off their chairs.
Surely this is too much… England thought to himself but waited patiently while the others gathered themselves.
"It's not a human, is it?" Malaysia asked in fear, being the first to talk.
"No, no, it's another nation", England answered calmly.
"Dear lord in heaven, don't tell me you've finally married Scot and Wales?" Ireland yelled in pure shock.
"OF COURSE NOT!" England yelled back in horror and disgust. "God, Ire, what the hell are you thinking?"
"They're the only ones you have a union with", Germany pointed out.
"Oh." England tried to calm himself down and glanced at Portugal. "It is not a union I share with my husband."
"Husband?" Hungary piped up excitedly.
"Yes, husband", England repeated. "And our marriage has nothing to do with our political actions. It is not a union or an alliance marriage. It is not a marriage between two nations but between two persons. It is purely because we love each other."
Again the audience went silent as they digested his words. Some seemed awed by his words of love while some were obviously trying to think who his husband was.
Finally Vietnam asked the question everyone was thinking. "So, who are you married to exactly?"
"It's France, isn't it?" Romania said loudly.
"OF COURSE IT'S NOT! I WOULD RATHER DIE A THOUSAND TIMES THAN MARRY THAT FROG FACED PERVERT!"
"It's Egypt!"
"Where the bloody hell did you get Egypt from?"
"America?"
"NO!"
"Germany?"
"Dear Lord!"
"Jamaica?"
"No!"
"Brunei?"
"You are just throwing out names now, aren't you?"
"Well, you said it doesn't have anything to do with you national relations", Seychelles said.
"So it's someone you have barely any relations with", Palau finished for her.
England groaned in agony and smacked his head against the table. "I didn't mean that", he hissed. "I meant that it's not a marriage for our jobs but for love!"
"So it's America, then?"
"I knew it!"
"NO! Bloody hell, no! It's not the goddammit American twat! It's Portugal for God's sake! I'm married to Portugal!"
Suddenly all eyes were on Portugal and he blushed under the gazes.
"PORTUGAL!" Spain screeched and jumped up in his chair. He looked ready to start crying or faint from shock. "Not again!" And then he started wailing loudly and disappeared under the table.
England looked after him and one huge eyebrow of his twitched. "That's one reason we've kept it a secret this far", he said. "Because Spain hates me and used to hate Portugal and especially hates us together."
"How long, then?" Saõ Tomé (without Príncipe) asked suspiciously. "Have you kept it a secret, I mean."
"Um." England looked embarrassed. "Three – "
"THREE YEARS?"
"YOU'VE BEEN MARRIED FOR THREE YEARS AND YOU ONLY TELL NOW?"
England blushed even more and looked ready to sink through the floor back to his cosy London apartment. "Three hundred and fifty two years this year."
"..."
"!"
"…"
"?"
"…"
" - - - "
"…"
The silence was so thick England and Portugal felt like they were choking.
"SO IT'S NOT AGAIN: IT'S STILL!" Spain shouted form under the table in pure agony and continued wailing very loudly.
"Um, yes", England coughed, hoping to get some life into the frozen nations. "We have been married ever since 1644 but have kept it a secret because of Spain and because homosexuality was a deadly sin back then."
The silence continued as the nations stared between England and Portugal.
"You're serious?" Mexico finally managed to ask.
"Yes, he's serious", spoke up Portugal. "He has been my beloved husband for 352 years, 9 months and 11 days and will continue to be my husband for as long as I have such a sweet man as mine." He smiled lovingly at England who had blushed dark pink upon is words.
The other nations looked even more stunned as they followed the gazes Portugal and England shared.
"Have you… you been, like, officially married?" Poland asked. "I mean, like, did a priest bless you?"
"Yes."
"How?" many nations hollered at the same time.
"Did Portugal dress up as a woman or something?" Columbia suggested seriously.
England frowned and Portugal looked just mystified. "We bribed a priest to give us a blessing", England answered. "He didn't much care about us both being males when we gave him gold."
"Oh, good tactic."
"C'mon, are you really serious?" America asked looking at Portugal. "Why would you've married an old mummy like England?"
Portugal had a blank look on his face and Romania and Poland startled as they felt his aura. "I'm about his age, you know…" he muttered.
"But, but, I mean… England! You and England!"
"IT'S BECAUSE THEY'RE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER!" Spain hollered under the table scaring half of the nations. "THEY'RE LIKE MADE FOR EACH OTHER!"
England and Portugal blushed from embarrassment and joy as Spain continued his wailing.
"THEY'RE BOTH SO DEPRESSGING! ALCOHOLICS! TEA LOVERS! THEY HAVE WEIRD HOBBIES! THEY'RE PERVERTS! FRANCE HATERS! DEPRESSING! ENGLAND CAN'T COOK AND PORTUGAL CAN! PORTUGAL CAN'T SOW AND ENGLAND CAN! AAA, PORTUGAL TE ODIO!"
Spain jumped up right in front of the sitting Portugal and caught him in a fierce embrace. England jumped forward too, thinking Spain had violent thoughts but as he just wailed and hugged Portugal England relaxed.
"Erhm. This concludes my… personal announcement, so…"
"OBJECTION!" someone yelled very loudly and hit their fist to the table. "OBJECTION, YOUR HONOR THE EYEBROWS!
"America…" England muttered venomously. "Do you have objections about our marriage?"
"Not your marriage, no!" America said quickly and loudly. "But you've been married for, what, three hundred years?"
"Three hundred and 51 years, 9 months and 11 days", Portugal informed over Spain's shoulder.
"Yeah, like, for an eternity, and YOU'VE NEVER HAD A PARTY!"
"Yeah! That's it!"
"We've never celebrated your wedding!"
"Wedding party!"
"We want party, we want party!"
England blushed as the shouts demanding for a party got louder and louder. He glanced at Portugal who was looking back at him. He smiled and shrugged.
"We could renew our vows!" he yelled over the shouts. "Have rings!"
"Okay, belt up you dolts! I'm trying to speak with Portugal here!"
"You should call him husband now", Tongo suggested seriously.
"Well, yes", England huffed, "my beloved husband of 350 years and I are pondering on the matter at hand to get you lousy chacals to shut up."
"We aren't pondering anymore!" Portugal yelled and jumped to the table. He turned to face England and walked closer to him stopping at the edge of the table. England took a step back either from pure shock or because he saw Portugal's movements as the next moment he had jumped to the floor right in front of England.
"Inglaterra, my angel", Portugal took England's hands in his and caressed them. England was blushing but his eyes were like glued to Portugal. "My beloved husband… After 700 years of knowing each other, 500 years since our first kiss and over 300 years of being married to me… England, my love, do you still love and cherish me as I do you?"
"Of course I do!" England yelped and pulled Portugal closer to him.
"Then, will you marry me again?" Portugal whispered, staring deep into England's green eyes. "Will you marry me again and celebrate it in front of the whole world?"
"Yes, I will marry you again, my love", England answered with a whisper and Portugal's face broke into a wide grin.
"I love you, Inglaterra."
"I love you, Portugal."
They kissed and held each other in their arms and the whole room burst into applauses and cheers. They parted a moment later with Portugal licking England's lips and some countries wolf whistled.
Portugal laughed while England flipped his middle finger up. "So, um, we'll hold a party", Portugal started. He was holding England's hand and England was leaning his head against his shoulder, looking slightly embarrassed from all the public display of affection. "Maybe get a priest to bless us… Oh, any of you have the rights to wed and bless us?"
Several hands rose.
Portugal smiled. "Brilliant. Well, we'll cook up something and let you know in advance."
"It's May 23rd", England informed and lifted his head. "Our day."
"So keep it reserved, aye?" Portugal laughed. "Oh, one thing…" He suddenly turned to look at the countries with a very serious look. "France", he said and suddenly his look and voice were so cold that there were chills creeping down France's spine. "If you ever, ever touch or harass my England again in any way I will make sure to rip out your heart and use it as a pin cushion."
France gulped and raised his hands in sign of surrender. "Of course, Portugal. Of course I won't touch your husband. I am not one to break up marriages…"
Portugal smiled widely. "Good, good. Well then, we'll be going." He saluted. "I'm off to have some quality time with my husband. See you later!" He and England walked hand in hand to the door followed by all eyes. Portugal was caressing England's fingers and England muttered something to him and he answered with a quick kiss at England's cheek. Then they left, leaving an air of pure shock in the room.
"I still doubt it…"
"This concludes the meeting, right? Right?"
"Do we have to buy presents to them?"
"Eyebrow trimmers?"