"So there I was, surrounded by a pack of slavering varren, covered in turian gore, out of eezo and I remembered ..." Zaeed prattled, eyes focusing on some point in time like it was yesterday.
"The bomb." Chakwas' eyes lit up, hanging on every word. Dinners around the mess were growing cold, but no one seemed to mind when Zaeed launched into one of his epics.
"The bomb." Zaeed confirmed, grin invisible among the myriad of cracks on his face. "I held the bomb above my head so all those slack jawed mongrels could see, and I said -"
"Bullshit!" Jack interjected, leaping from her counter-top perch. "That's not what happened."
The shift of attention was audible. Every set of eyes turned from the storyteller to the interrogator.
"You just said your fucking hands were full from dragging Shepard out of the rubble." She challenged. "Get your dumb-ass story straight."
Zaeed sighed and the room returned to him. "Shepard was holding the bomb, girlie. Pay fucking attention."
Jack rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.
"So, I held the bomb up - after rescuing Shepard - and said -"
"So, what. A pack of frenzied varren just stopped to hear you out, like attention starved bitches? Does anyone actually buy this shit?"
"Sit down and shut up, you twit. I'm getting to the good part."
"I can't believe this."
"I held up the god-damned bomb and said -" Zaeed paused, just slightly, then continued, "JACK!"
The whole room spun angry glances toward woman, expecting another outlandish interruption, but were only met with confusion. Rather uncharacteristically, Jack beamed.
"Jack, take care of those god-damned bitches before I blow this god-damned laboratory off the planet." Zaeed grinned. "And she did."
"Boom." Jack punctuated.
Zaeed took a relaxed sip from his mug. "Blew an escape route right through the facility. Bastards never saw it coming."
"Fucking legendary."
The room sat in confused silence, eyebrows quirking around the room.
Shepard finally broke the tension with applause. "Best … rescue … EVER."