Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor do I wish to.
Authors note: I haven't written a story in awhile so I'm a bit out of practice. This story is dedicated to my friend, RedtheRetard. Shes awesome and she deserves to have a story dedicated to her. I hope I can do this story the justice of making it as awesome as she makes her stories. If you know Red, you should know who the main character is. Also, most people know that Zetzu from the Akatsuki has two personality If not, now you do. XD One of his personality will be in bold font and the other in regular font. The italic font is for thoughts. This first chapter is probably going to be stupid, too short and confusing, but I hope you enjoy it anyway.
Things Happen
Chapter 1
"Deidara, where did all those cupcakes you cooked go?" Itachi asked with a frown as he approached the table Zetzu, Pein, Tobi and Hidan were sitting at. Deidara walked into the dining room with an apron on and a wooden spoon in his hand.
"They were right there a few seconds ago, hmmm." He replied, pointing at an empty plate. Looking around the room, Deidara eyed everyone skeptically.
Zetzu didn't do it, he hates cupcakes with strawberry frosting. Eh, so does Pein and Hidan. Then wh- Tobi that... "Tobi! You little fagot chicken get BACK here! You ate all 38 of those cupcakes!" screamed Deidara as he spotted Tobi sneaking out of the dining room. Wooden spoon as a weapon and apron as a cape, he took off after the cupcake-thief.
"Senpai! I-It wasn't my fault! I-I- Zetzu, he- AH SHIT! Ruuuuuun! Tobi's a good boy. Tobi's a good boy. Tobi's a goo- GAH!"
Itachi grabbed the counter and braced himself for the explosion that was about to come. Good thing all our hideouts are made out of anti-flammable materials. Otherwise we'd all be broiled humans. Well, in Kisame's case broiled fish, but still.
A blast rocked the Akastukis hide out. Pein sighed, "Why the hell does this happen every fuh-reekin time Deidara cooks? He's not even that good at it!"
"What.. did you say, sir?" Pein spun around to see a half-clothed, half-burnt, no-longer-blonde Deidara standing before him with Tobi thrown over his shoulder. "I don't appreciate that! You have hot, home cooked meals every night because of me, hmmm. Mind you that the recipes I use are from my.. my great-aunties-mothers-brothers-nieces-sisters-grandmothers-mama's cook book too!" Throwing Tobi into Itachi's unexpecting arms, he continued "What the hell, SIR?! I try and try to please everyo-"
DING DONG! DINGDING DONG!
Hidan popped up out his chair. "Door! I'll get it. I bet its my delivery of blood-ink." Laughing, he headed toward the door. Zetzu got up slowly and followed. "You never know what that child is going to do."
"Meh, hes not dumb enough to attack a guest."
"Are you sure about that brother? I think hes pretty dumb myself. Who the hell would worship Jashin? Do you remember Jashin? That kid with glasses that always picked his nose?"
"Ah, yeah.. you have a point there."
Hidan opened the door and his mouth dropped open. Staring at the guest, he was speechless. Zetzu pushed Hidan out of the way.
"Ha.. ha ha... HAHAHAHAHA! I knew you'd come to your senses boy!"
"You asshole, it was ME that told you that he'd come to his senses."
"Shut up before I sucker punch you."
"That.. would be punching yourself."
The mysterious man spoke, "May I speak with Itachi-san?"
Zetzu looked at Hidan, who still had his mouth wide open. Putting his hand under Hidans chin, he shut it. "Stop it, you'll catch flies like that. Now go find Itachi and tell him hes needed at the entrance, loser."
"Just a moment, Iruka and Itachi will be with you."