Frigid, CS weather-inspired One Shot
Rating: Teen, adult language and situations, innuendos.
Description: It's winter time in Storybrooke and even for Maine, it's cold. Temperatures however are rising inside the Swan-Jones household.
Author's Note: There is an adult version, but I warn you, it's really mature. Please read this one if you're young or not into that. It's exactly the same just with those parts removed.
Fun fact: Some set observers in Steveston (the real town where they film outside shots for Storybrooke) have referred to Jennifer Morrison as a cute burrito because she wraps in layers to protect herself from the cold.
2419 words
Frigid, Teen
Killian Jones stood in the hallway of the home he shared with Emma Swan. His arms were folded and he shook his head with disapproval.
"What?" Emma asked.
"I do not like this cold spell we are having."
She chuckled. "Really? I thought the cold didn't bother you."
"The attire for said cold does bother me, in fact, it's positively vexing."
Emma stood before him wearing a big puffy gray coat, high black boots, her favorite gray beanie, gray gloves, and a thick red scarf wound tightly around her neck and lower half of her face.
"You are wearing far too many clothes, Swan!" he cried.
She laughed. "I'm going out in sub-zero temperatures, Babe."
"But I can barely see your lovely peach flesh! Your golden tresses are completely hidden from me! T'is a travesty!"
They heard laughter as Henry came down the stairs. "You do look kind of funny, Mom, like a big fuzzy burrito."
"A what?"
Henry smiled. "Remember that Mexican food we had the other night, the one with the rolled tortilla stuffed with the meat and sauce?"
"Oh, yes," said Killian. He smirked at Emma. "The lad is right, you are reminiscent of the spicy delicacy." He stepped forward, pulled the scarf down slightly and said. "I am fond of your...fillings."
She turned red and Henry groaned loudly. "Killian," she hissed.
Henry walked past them to the door. "Only you could pervert a burrito," he mumbled as he walked outside.
Emma jabbed Killian in the stomach. "I'm getting tired of telling you to watch your language in front of the kid."
He gave her a teasing, naughty grin. "And I keep telling you, Love, give me an incentive."
"I'll kill you if you don't. How's that for incentive?"
"I've got a better one," he said, licking his lower lip. "How about we...unroll you, so I may partake of your...sauciness?"
She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "I have work to do."
"You have considerable time before you are due at the station, Swan." He made his eyebrows leap as he grinned.
"Yeah, and I need that time to make it through the ice and snow. I'll see you later."
Killian stood alone in the house. "I dislike the vexing cold immensely."
Several hours later, Emma returned home. She stood shivering in the hall. "Killian?"
He appeared with a huge grin and a big black robe. His legs were bare.
Her mouth dropped open. "What are you wearing?"
He came closer and smirked. "I wanted to be ready to properly warm you up," he said, murmuring into her ear. "Once we unroll the burrito, Love, I intend to quickly explore what's inside."
"Killian!" she cried, her face turning red.
He frowned. "Why do you look displeased?"
"Ugh! I knew it was a bad idea to surprise him," said a male voice as the door shut behind them. "Put some pants on, Pirate."
"That's why," Emma said with a very red face.
Killian swore. "Hello David," he said rudely. "I wasn't expecting you."
"Obviously."
"We have some work to do," Emma said.
"Couldn't you have left your work at the station, Swan?"
"We thought we'd be more comfortable here," said Emma.
David scoffed loudly. "And we were completely wrong about that."
Killian made a face at him. "Why don't you take the work home with you, hey, Mate?"
"Because it's too much for one person and I have someone waiting home for me too," David said, with a roll of his eyes. "And I hate to repeat myself but put some pants on, Pirate!"
Killian sighed and turned, walking unhappily up to their room. He was muttering, "Wait all blasted day and she brings home company."
Emma shook her head. "That wasn't embarrassing."
"I feel sick," said David.
"Come on, let's get to work so you can get home."
"I know I'm going to regret asking, but why did he mention a burrito?"
"Because I wear too many clothes," she said, pulling off her thick coat.
"Yep, I regret asking."
Winter continued with a vengeance bringing more snow and ice.
Killian sat on the couch, his finger tracing a falling snowflake on the outside of the window. "You would think I'd be enjoying this weather, stranded inside with you," he said to Emma. "However, you either bring home guests or piles of work."
She sat at the kitchen table, files in front of her. "I'm not happy about it either."
"You could at least spare me a little of your time."
"You could at least stop wanting sex every single second."
"You could want it for a second."
She glared at him and he at her.
"Take a cold shower or something."
He scoffed. "You'd know about coldness, Swan."
"Excuse me?"
"Lately you've become a veritable Ice Queen."
She threw down her work. "Look, buddy, I have a job to do! I'm sorry you're not the center of the universe!"
"I only wish for some attention from you!" He sprang from the sofa and stomped toward her. "You're the center of my universe, Swan."
"I never asked to be! You're like a damn puppy!"
"You're like a frost giant!"
"Jerk!"
"Wench!"
They glared at each other for a long moment. Then Emma jumped up and plastered a hungry, needy kiss onto him.
He pulled her as close as possible, pushing up her sweater.
She pulled at his jacket.
They ended up on the couch, kissing and fondling and removing more clothes..
"You're right, I need you...every second," he said while panting.
"Stop...talking...and focus," she muttered.
Soon they lay exhausted in a heap.
"I needed that," he whispered.
She rubbed his back lightly. "I did too."
He pulled up slightly to look at her. "I'm sorry for arguing with you."
She chuckled. "Me too. I guess it was...cabin fever."
"Aye."
Again they lay still. Then Emma felt him beneath her. She laughed. "You are insatiable, though."
He grinned. "You make me that way."
"Hmm, you do the same to me."
He cocked an eyebrow. "Do I?"
"Yeah. What do you say we take a nice, long bath?"
He smiled. "It sounds good."
She waved her hand and they vanished from the sofa and reappeared inside the bubble filled bathtub. The lights were off but candles were lit. Emma sat between his legs. Water splashed out as they did anything but wash themselves.
Emma was panting, leaning against his back. "That was…"
"Incredible. Very incredible."
She sighed, content to just sit there. "Now we got to get clean."
He laughed. "And swab the deck."
"Yeah, but it was worth it."
"Indeed. Cabin fever has its advantages."
She laughed.
The next day, Emma was tossing things about the kitchen. "I hate this house! I swear it's closing in on me!"
Killian chuckled, standing behind her. "It sounds like someone is having cabin fever again. Time for a bath?"
She chuckled. "No. I just took a shower."
He frowned. "Without me? How could you?" She shook her head. "Come on, Emma, there is one way to ease your tension. It never fails."
She rolled her eyes. "You're an addict. Let's go outside."
"I fear I wouldn't be able to perform to my usual prowess in the frigid air, Love," he said with a wink.
"Believe it or not, there are other ways to...relieve stress and boredom." He gasped in mock shock. "We could go skating or skiing or I don't know, ice fishing?"
He scoffed, "I like my idea better."
"Like you said, it wouldn't be up to our normal standards in the cold."
"I'm sure we could figure out something," he said with a grin. "Better yet, let us remain inside."
She shook her head. She refused to take no for an answer and managed to drag him outside.
They joined others skating on a pond. Her mother waved to her. Emma attempted to skate over, but promptly fell on her backside. Her pirate laughed.
"Yeah, let's see you do better!" she cried.
He smirked smugly and expertly glided across the pond, doing a circle around his fallen love. He grinned even wider as Emma rolled her eyes. "It's my sea legs, Love. I'm quite adept at balance, as you well know."
"If you're going to be gross you can leave," said David.
Killian chuckled as he helped his Swan up. "I will attempt to rein in my natural charm."
"He says charm but he means vulgarity," snapped Regina, gracefully sliding past.
Killian just smiled. "Come my love, I will guide you," he said, gently and slowly skating with Emma.
"OK, this isn't so bad with you holding onto me."
He smirked. "I've heard that before," he whispered.
She chuckled. "Jeez, I've got to watch what I say around you."
He laughed.
After skating, Emma pummeled the daylights out of him in a snowball fight.
He peeked out from behind a large bush. "I sense some hostility in you, Love!" he yelled, just before a big snowball hit him in the face.
"I'm just getting out some stress, Babe,'" said Emma, a giant grin on her face as she tossed another snowball in her hands.
"I'm taking it easy on you, Love."
"Really? Huh, your mistake," she said, hurling the ball at him. He ducked, but it sprinkled his hair with snow.
He popped up, ready to hurl one back, when three balls smacked him in the chest. "Oy! No fair, three against one!" He glared at the new faces of Snow White and Regina, both laughing.
Emma shrugged. "Can I help it if I have friends?"
"Ooh!" cried Snow, giggling. "That was a burn!"
"It matters not! I'll take you all on!" he screamed. He tried valiantly but he was outnumbered and soon his black coat was white.
"Maybe we should take pity on him," said Emma.
"No way!' cried Regina, throwing a snowball. It hit him in the back. "He should be grateful it's not my usual type of ball!"
Emma laughed and nodded.
Suddenly two balls fired from Killian's side at once, hitting Regina and Emma. Then three balls fired, taking them by surprise.
"How'd he do that?" asked Snow.
They looked over and beside Killian were Henry and David. They grinned at each other, nodded and launched a simultaneous attack, hitting all three of their targets at once.
Killian cheered. "It would seem I too have comrades, Love!"
Emma wiped the snow off her face. "Whatever." She threw another which he dodged.
The next attack came in fours from Killian's side.
"Archie!" cried Snow. "You traitor!"
Dr. Hopper grinned and shrugged. "Even therapists need to blow off steam."
"But on his side?" asked Emma.
Killian smirked. "We're mates, Love."
"Since when?" asked Regina.
"Brothers in arms and all that," answered Killian, patting Archie's shoulder. He smiled and nodded.
Emma rolled her eyes and the three women lobbied another round at them.
"It looks like you need some evening up!" cried a voice as Granny joined the women.
"Yes!" cried Emma and the four ladies pummeled the men.
The fight eventually ended in a draw with all the participants covered in snow.
"That was fun. I'm going sledding now," said Henry.
"Ooh, that sounds fun too," noted his grandmother.
"No, thank you," said Emma. "I don't feel like lying on my backside, sliding down a hill." Instantly Killian's face lit up. Emma groaned. "Why did I say that?"
He laughed and dragged her toward the sledding.
As he pulled her onto a large sled with him, Emma objected. "It's supposed to be one to a sled, Killian."
He scoffed. "Why limit ourselves?"
They set off, Killian hooting loudly as they sped downhill.
Emma felt his bulge. It was...distracting.
They hit the bottom of the hill and toppled over with him pressed into her groin. She growled.
"That was exhilarating, Love!"
She shuddered.
"You alright?" he asked.
"We need to find shelter, now," she said through gritted teeth. She walked briskly away, pulling him after her.
"Where are they going?" asked Mary Margaret.
David groaned. "Don't ask. You know where they're going."
She looked at her husband. Then her eyes grew with understanding. "How... I mean, it's so cold! There's nowhere for them to go! We're out in the boondocks!"
He scoffed. "They'll find a way."
Killian chuckled as Emma walked on with determination. "What's your hurry?"
She groaned. "You know what, smart ass. You just had to press into me on that damned sled."
He smirked. "Feeling a bit...heated, are we?"
"Shut up."
He laughed. "Too bad we're stranded in the blasted wilderness."
"I've got an idea." She closed her eyes and built an ice structure with her magic.
"What the bloody hell is that?"
She smirked. "It's an igloo. People who live in really cold areas use them to keep warm."
"How? It's entirely made of ice!"
"Give it a try," she said, pulling him inside.
He shuddered at the cold in the circular house. "This is very impractical. There is no way either of us will ever warm up enough."
She smirked. She lit a fire with her magic then conjured a big fur rug. "There is a trick," she said, pulling off her coat. "You get naked and use each other's body heat."
His eyebrow jumped up.
She played with the edge of his coat. "Where's the hot pirate when I need to be warmed up, huh?"
He broke into a wide grin. "Never let it be said that I left a woman in need."
She laughed as she pulled the rest of her clothes off. He did the same. "Ever been with someone against an ice wall?" she asked.
"Never."
She grinned and magically produced a fur wall hanging. "I think it's time you did."
"Oh, I definitely agree." He nodded and pushed her back against it. She wrapped her legs around his waist. He kissed her, wet and sloppy..
She groaned loudly.
"You get...the best...ideas, Swan."
"I know," she whispered.
They ended their...activity...lying on the rug on the floor of the igloo.
She sighed contentedly. "So...are you warm?" she asked with a grin.
He laughed. "Very wam. In fact, this may be my favorite kind of lodging."
She sighed happily as she lay on his chest. "It is cozy."
"Hmm."
A few moments later she asked, "Do you still hate the winter?"
"Hate it, Swan? Why, it's my favorite time of year."
She laughed.
The End