Warning: Very, very, very sensitive subject included.
Disclaimer: Don't own it.
Summary: New York was loud, bustling, and lively place. But for once, all of New York stood still in silence.
Silence
She shot with determination and experience, holding the gun securely in her hands, never once faltering as gunshots filled the air around her. She had little time to process that they were heavily outnumbered and that she was quickly running out of ammunition, but she did. Sweat beaded at her temple before running down her cheeks. She looked at Castle for a second to see fear in his eyes. She wondered if they mirrored her own. She made time to pray that backup would arrive soon and prayed that if nothing else, he would make it out alive.
A gunshot slashed through the air beside her head, ruffling her hair, as she scrambled for cover. She lost her breath and a shiver ran through her body. Blood curdling fear suddenly filled her, although she quickly rid her body of it. She knew, in their situation, the emotion would shine through her walls, and Castle couldn't possibly see that. She took cover behind boxes that had been abandoned along with the warehouse. The shots continued to fill the air around her. She quickly grabbed at her backup gun in the holder at her ankle, handing to Castle. With a trust that he wasn't sure he deserved, she handed him the gun.
"Don't miss." She told him with dark eyes, unlike any that he had even seen before. And to be completely honest, he didn't like them at all. She lifted her body without exhaustion, which wasn't surprising despite the amount of strenuous activity that she had done that day due to the amount of adrenaline running through her veins. She breathed before leaving herself vulnerable out from under the cover of the boxes. She aimed at one of the one, two, three, four, five, six people that she counted shooting at them within seconds and shot, hitting her target directly. The man fell.
A shiver ran down her spine, but she didn't take time to regain her composure, instead aiming and shooting again. She hit her man, but it was just in his arm and she ducked back behind the box. She had just killed one man and heavily injured another. She would never get used to this, she knew, but she never wished to because then she would have lost herself and become no better than them. Because then, she wouldn't be a cop, protecting the people who couldn't protect themselves, she would be a murder, taking away the people's family members.
She took a moment to glance at Castle as he ducked behind the boxes before checking her own ammunition although she knew it was unnecessary. She was running dangerously low. Two shots remained. The small gun that Castle held wasn't fairing much better. They shared a look as she examined the space around them, searching anxiously for an exit. The backup couldn't get here soon enough. "How many?" he dared to ask and, not for the first time that night, she saw the fear in his eyes. For a moment, there were no gunshots, just silence. They both noted with heavy disappointment that no siren screeched in the night sky.
"Two," she breathed with a blank expression on her face, despite her feelings of panic. She looked once again around the room. A door was beside the far wall, but no cover surrounded it. The chances of them escaping relatively unscathed were unlikely. All she knew was that Castle, at least, should escape. He had a family. He had a daughter. Of course, for her, there was her father, and she would feel horrible for leaving him, but he was strong. He could handle it. Alexis was not even as old as she was when her mother died and she truly had no other parent, like she had. She did have Meredith, but Meredith was more like a psychotic aunt than a mother. She had Martha too, but she needed her father. "The door," she told him, and she watched him looking around closely. But when he found nothing he looked further and then spotted the door in which she was speaking of. Then, he turned to her with a look that made her think she was crazy. She knew that look would never leave her mind.
"We won't make it."
She looked away. She knew that.
"Give me your gun." He ordered, holding out his empty hand.
She shook her head fiercely. "No. Give me yours. I'll cover and you run."
"We have five shots between the two of us. Only four men left. We can-"
"Castle, no. We have to get out of here." Emphasizing her point, gunfire rang, tearing the boxes covering them up apart. They couldn't last for that much longer like that. "Give me your gun."
"Detective, please, don't do this."
"We have no other choice. You can't leave Alexis. She needs you."
He swallowed, understanding her reasoning, but still, "I need you." In the moment of chaos, which strangely began feeling like it was going to be the end of them, he no longer cared about protecting himself. His stomach knotted, but this couldn't be the end of them. They had never gotten their chance. The look of determination in their eyes showed him that there was no chance that she would falter or reconsider. This was the end. He was sure. Her face showed him that. But it couldn't be. This wasn't right.
"Castle-" her voice was thick, almost as if she was about to cry, but she couldn't cry. She was Beckett, and Beckett didn't cry. She wasn't sure whose heart beat louder, but she was sure that, in the moment, she could hear both of them. In the moment, there weren't anyone around them, no deathly situation. It was just them. His finger traced down her face, but she stopped him. "Don't." She forced the grimace away from her face. "I'll see meet you outside, and then we can do this."
"Kate," he whispered. It took him a minute to realize that he had decided to go with her dangerous plan. "I just wanted you to know, just in case, I l-"
"Castle," once again, she stopped him. "Later." She tried to comfort him with a smile, but it was lopsided, and just reassured him of the situation at hand. "I promise."
He nodded, but before she could stop him, he was leaning it unreasonably close. Her breath hitched in her throat and her heart pounded, but the blood froze cold in her veins. He kissed her, gently, softly, and yet passionately. She would never tell him this because it would just make his already big ego bigger, but it was one of the best first kisses that she had ever had, if not best. The awkwardness that sometimes came with them was absent. It was like it was their hundredth kiss, not first. She was reminded shortly of their previous kiss, but she quickly disregarded it. It didn't count, not really.
Then, just as abruptly as he had kissed her, he pulled away and handed her the gun that he had held in his hand. It felt strangely like a goodbye kiss, but it couldn't have been. He hadn't intended it as that.
They shared a look.
"Are you ready?" She took a deep breath, moving to get ready. He nodded. "Go!" She shouted, and instantly, gunfire started. She fired, without thinking, aiming without thought or pause. Castle ran behind her and with a grunt, pushed open the door, exiting the warehouse. He was safe. A smile lit her face as a burning feeling ignited in her shoulder, but she did not stop. She didn't even pay attention to the three people that she had shot and dropped. She continued to run, shooting until she ran out of bullets, but by then, she was out of the door.
And he was closing it. A burning took up in her lower abdomen as well. She felt lightheaded and dizzy. Faintly, she could make out distant sirens. They were coming, but it was too late. They were safe. But then, Castle was staring at her with wide, fearful eyes that took a minute to register. And then, she was falling, down, towards the hard pavement. A cry left her lips. The impact was painful, but it was overshadowed by her shoulder and lower abdomen. She knew that she had been shot, at least twice.
"No!"
It took him a moment to realize that the words had come from his own lips. He trailed off, as he saw the amount of blood that was flowing from her body. Where her abdomen was supposed to be, he was just blood. Quickly he discarded his jacket, his over shirt, pressing it over where he assumed the wound was. But he couldn't be positive because of the amount of blood. There was so much. A feeling of terror consumed him, especially when her eyes slit, rolling back in to her head.
"Beckett," his voice was so frantic, he couldn't recognize it. She focused. "Kate, stay with me, okay?"
She tried to snort, but she couldn't. Instead, she gurgled. "Of course, Castle."
But then, she broke her promise and became a liar. The sirens were closer now. New York was loud, bustling, and lively place, but still, the sirens rang through the air.
"Stay with me."
It was an order. One she could not follow. "Always," deep down, she realized that it was a lie. She realized that her final moments were upon her. She had always thought that she would die from a gunshot wound, but not this soon. How was this fair? She and Castle had just shared their first kiss. But her body ached. She was exhausted and wanted to sleep so much. She needed to close her eyes, just for a bit.
People say, when a person is in their final moments, their lives flash before their eyes. She was an expert at near death experiences. And none of them, or this, had her experiencing those slideshows. No, she thought of her family, although not all biological. She thought of the ones she would leave behind and the ones that would miss her. She could never help Lanie chose the dress for her six month anniversary dinner with Esposito. She would never get to be a bridesmaid at Ryan's wedding. She would never see Alexis graduate or have her Sunday dinner with her dad. She would never get to live a full and happy life with Castle. She would never get to have the grandchildren that her parents had always wanted her to.
She choked. Blood came from her mouth now. Her hand that covered her mouth was covered in blood from somewhere unknown. She was dying. But no tears came to her eyes.
"Beckett, please."
"Make sure my dad knows how much I loved him. And Lanie, how much I loved her and her style, Esposito and Ryan and their horrible jokes and puns, the Captain, for being the man that he is. Make sure Alexis knows that I'm sorry for missing our lunch date for next week. Tell her to keep you straight."
"Don't say that." He directed, angrily. She noticed how glassy his eyes were. "Don't act like you're going to-"
She didn't answer the sentence. She didn't need to. They were both too aware of the word that completed it. "Don't make me such a slut in the next Nikki Heat, either. And Rook and Heat have to get together and have their chance, although we didn't."
"Kate."
"Always remember how much I love you."
"I love you too."
"Damn," she coughed, more blood came. The sirens were even closer, but not close enough. "Why are we so stubborn?"
He scoffed. "I don't know."
His hands were hot, so very warm against her colder ones. Castle wished to switch their roles. He should be the one there, not her. He should have protected her. Beckett was beautiful, intelligent, successful, and had so much to live for, and yet, she had sacrificed her future, her life, for him and his family. She coughed again. And then again. She coughed and sputtered and wheezed and gasped for air. Despite her pain, she fought. She fought from him, for them. But she was so tired, so very tired. The blood was bright red on her lips and across her face. It resembled the lipstick that Lanie encouraged her to wear, or well, forced her to.
He held her close to him, as if his strength would transfer to her, and she would be given a second chance. She gasped once, twice, and then coughed. He watched as she couldn't regain her breath. Her eyes were wide before they slacked. "I'm sorry, Castle. I tried," she gasped, "to keep my promise." Her eyes stopped mid-blink. He watched as her bright green eyes faded to a lifeless brown. The shine was gone. He watched the air leave her lungs in her final breath. He felt the pressure in his palm fade, and her body go limp in his arms.
He watched his future and all the what-could-have-been's die, one by one, with her.
The sirens were ringing in his ears. People chattered loudly around him as they filed out of the police cars and ambulances. New York was loud, bustling, and lively place, especially here. He could feel Esposito, Ryan, and the Captain behind him. And he could sense their disbelief. But in his arms was the proof. Still, he couldn't let go of her, or what was left of her. The police department had lost their very best, but it had been him who had lost his one and only.
New York was loud, bustling, and lively place.
But for once, all of New York stood still in silence.
Author's Note: I know that I haven't uploaded any of my stories recently, and I feel horribly guilty at that, but I've tried and I didn't like any of that which I had written. So, I'm sorry. And one of these days, I'm going to have to sit myself down and force me to write, but I'm still holding out for some inspiration smacking me upside the head. Please, just don't give up on me yet though. (: But maybe this will hold you through a bit?