Dear diary
I never knew that me, Jade West would write a diary, I guess I'm changing. The past couple of year have made themselves hard to forget, the fact that relationships broke up, new ones formed, people grew to hate each other, people changed.
My friends, well "Friends" all keep secrets from each other, those secrets broke us all apart like trying to fix a broken vase, the glue would eventually dry out causing the vase to break again. It was me who had to try to at least pick up the pieces and try to fix them together.
It all started on the 25/02/2012, I knew it would happen sometime. But the one thing that lit the spark was the break-up between me and Beck-
Here's how it happened:
We were all sitting down in Sikowitzs classroom discussing the game-show Sinjin wanted us to take part in, he said that one of the couples had to be a same-sex one because his boss demanded it.
He made a decision and decided me and Tori would be that same-sex couple. I had no problem with it really, I like Tori, she's a really okay person. It's just my confidence, I act mean to people because I'm afraid of making a friendship happen and then seeing that built friendship collapse.
I then realized everyone was looking at me, "Jade?" Beck asked looking into my eyes "What?" I said, He licked his lips "You have no problem with that right?" I saw Tori in the corner of my eye with her legs up on the chair using her bag as a shield.
I sighed, this has gone long enough. I'm not telling them I like Tori. They can figure it out for themselves.
I picked up my bag and left the room to visit the janitors closet, there I can be free. No one really bothers me, the janitor, Hank, lets me stay there.
Now let me get this straight, yeah I like Beck but there isn't a spark anymore. His kisses, his feeling, my feelings mean nothing anymore.
I was going to break it up with him awhile ago, I was going to tell him that I wanted to speak to him, but I saw her, Tori was rubbing him. I saw her brown sparkling eye's looking into mine, I knew that I had to stay with Beck or else she would end up going out with him, I never wanted that to happen which is why I was hostile with her.
She may think I hate her, but that's a lie.
I realized that I've been sitting in a closet for about 10 minutes thinking about her, when I hear her voice behind the door knocking.
She opens it and pulls that super concerning face she has whenever I'm in here, I like that face.
"Jade, is everything okay?" She asks leaning against the door frame, I nod and she sighs "C'mon, somethings wrong" she says coming in and sitting beside me.
She lifts my head and I see, that shes on my left sitting cross-legged.
I have a very strong urge to tell her everything, but a part of me stops me from doing that. A voice in my head rings the word straight over and over again.
"Jade, I know you don't wanna do the gameshow" now that got my attention, I look at her "Tori, it's not that. It's just Beck, it doesn't feel right, any of this" Tori looked confused
"You mean with the break-up?" she asks, pulling a strand of hair behind my ear, "Some of it yeah, I don't wanna talk about it" I get up and leave Tori sitting there.
The only reason I truly left that room because I was afraid, when she said about the gameshow it sounded like she didn't wanna do it, that broke my heart so much I stayed in my room all night.
My little brother Nathan kept asking me what was wrong I lied to him and said it was my dad, well I didn't lie, my dad forced me to go to church and to repent sins, making me pray at the dinner table.
I sat in my room on my laptop on The slap. Tori had inboxed me asking if I was okay, I responded yeah and went to sleep.
Today was the day of the gameshow, I put on my casual clothes which were all black with combat boots, it was really hot outside, beach weather too bad we had to do a Gameshow.
I headed down to the set and met Cat who hugged me, I didn't bother shouting at her for it and she said I was acting different then proceeded to tell me that her brother acted different for a girl her like, right.
Sinjin led to to my seat and Tori came and sat down, she was wearing converse, short shorts, a purple T-shirt. I swear I could of attacked her lips right then and now but I realized that we had an audience.
"Hey Jade" Tori said sitting next to me smiling, Her cheekbones and her dimples went up in a cute way when she smiled, I think I smiled back because Tori was giggling.
"Okay for pair number one, Tori. What is Jade's favourite colour?" Tori didn't have to think twice and wrote down Black and got it right, I got the same question and put Purple which was right
In the next round we were asked for our full names, she put down Jadelyn Beth West, which was right and I put down Victoria Dawn Vega, which was right.
By the end of the game, Tori and I had 20 points, Andre and Trina had 10 points and Robbie and Cat had 20 points.
It was a tie-breaker question "This question has to match your partners and is worth 5 points!" Sinjin announced "Do you love your partner?" Now, here's a secret about me. I can't lie, It feels like I'm being ripped apart, limb by limb when I lie.
Knowing the consequences I put my answer down as did Tori.
"Robbie, Cat, say your answers at the same time"
"Yes!" Robbie said, Cat looked down confused of what to do "Cat, do you love Robbie?" She looked around and saw everyone looking at her "I don't know" Robbie's face looked like he just jizzed in his pants when she said that
Sinjin shrugged "2 points!" he shouts, "Jade, Tori. Your turn, at the same time!" he shouts again, as I gulp and Tori opens her mouth at the same time
"Yes" We both say, She turns to face me looking gob-smacked as well as Beck, Robbie, Cat, Andre and the rest of the crowd
"Jade and Tori are the winners!" he shouts as the crowd clap, Sinjin hands us the trophy. Tori is still looking at me likewise the gang are too.
My biggest secret is out and Tori feels the same way.
I rush out the back of the stage into the alleyway, I go to kick the dumpster, She likes me back and I never even knew.
I hear footsteps and realize she's right behind me "You feel the same way." she starts, she walks around to face me, she looks into my eyes "You could of told me" I scoff "Right, you want me to say "Tori I have a fucking mega crush on you and I want to fuck you?" I couldn't of said that" I say
She takes my hands "Jade, I've liked you since I met you" She starts to say "I loved your style, your acting ways, your attitude, your face, your smell, your face, your..everything" she says
"What about you hm? Perfect feature, face, nose, cheekbones. your voice makes all the guys swoon. How could I not have fallen for you?" I question her, I keep walking towards her making her fall into the wall
"Every guy swooning over you, I warned you about Ryder, I warned you about Steven. It hurts me to see you dating someone that isn't me. When you dated Steven I practically told him everyday that I hated him and he maked me sick"
By nose Jade's nose was touching Tori's "What about you getting jealous with me and Beck?" she asks "I wanted you away from him in-case you fell for him"
Tori put her hands on my cheeks and our lip touched, hers were soft and not rough like Beck's, The familiar taste of peaches made me wanted more as our kiss became quickly heated into a groping session around our necks as her lips made their way down to my collar bone and she started to suck it leaving marks.
We eventually stopped when we needed oxygen and we decided to part ways to go home and talk in the morning.
I woke up to my phone vibrating to about 6 texts in one minute, all from Beck telling me that the gang all needed to speak.
"Hey, meet us all in McDonalds" he texted, McDonalds ugh. I hated it there, I'm vegetarian and It makes me sick when we have to go there, watching everyone eat hamburgers.
I got dressed and headed into my car, I drove down to McDonalds and found the guys, Tori was sat next to Andre, and Cat inbetween Robbie and Beck in the booth.
I saw next to Tori on the edge which made her in the middle
"So, the gameshow last night" Robbie starts, "Sh Rob. What was that all about?" Beck started, I shrugged, I looked at Tori who rubbed her arm, something she always does when she's nervous
"You and Tori, like each other?" Robbie asks, I looked at Tori and she nods as do I
Cat bites her lips, I knew what was coming.
Me, Beck and Cat knew each other through Elementary school, we were all raised as Christians who didn't believe in same-sex relationships, Beck's mom was really strict with it and forced her son into schools that were all Christian.
We went to church every sunday, my mom, before she left, told me to hang out with Beck. We eventually started to date when we started HA, whilst Cat's mom forbid her to hang out with me, she made up a lie that she was visiting a guy called Derek when she was really meeting me and Beck.
We were all devout Christians.
However, Robbie and Andre went to an all boys school and were taught that same-sex couples were okay. I know there not gay, Andre is currently dating Trina and Robbie had a huge crush on Cat.
"Were Christians Jade" Beck states, Cat shakes her head "It's wrong" I got angry, I saw Tori bury her face into her hands "Beck, I'm 16 now, I can do what I want" I tell him, he shakes his head
"How long?" he says, I'm confused "How long have you liked her!" he shouts, He's gonna get upset I'f I tell him, when we dated "When I first met her"
He looked pissed, got got up and pulled Cat with him, Andre was hugging a scared Tori and Robbie was leaning against the window frame sighing.