I won't…
„What are you gonna do without me?" A sad smile, tears coming up. I hate him pretending not to love me. Sometimes, I even wonder whether he actually does. But deep in my heart, there is hope. And faith.
"I won't." Wait, what was he just saying? He won't think of me at all? Pain stings deeply into my heart. Enormous pain. Why can't this evil feeling just stop? This is definitely going to break my heart. No, there is still hope. That he will not leave. That he will not let me go. That he will finally say those three little – no, huge – words right into my face, my cheek, my neck, my mouth… Right into my heart.
My upcoming tears just won't stop, I look him desperately in the eyes and just want to be held by him. Oh my gosh, he does. He caresses my face, holds me so close – oh, please, I do not want to let myself fall into my own feelings. I do not want to cry anymore. I should maybe just walk out of that door and finally give him what he pretends to want. But I just can't. I want to feel him. More. Most. Forever.
When we end up standing there cheek to cheek at last, I feel his hand on the back of my head. No words are spoken at all. But his hands are constantly saying more than any word could say. Ways more.
Everything.
I love you, too, Brian. I do love you so much...
(c) naiqueland 2011