AN

Thank you CrazyNerdyFangirl for this awesome idea! To the fangirls reading this, I am a FAX fan, I just thought this would be fun to write. As for Justin Bieber fangirls, you need to examine your music taste.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Maximum Ride, be it place, plot, human, human-avian or Dylan. I do not own St Fang of Boredom as she is obviously a real person, or her story Ninja Fang, nor do I own Justin Bieber, thank God.

Dylan's POV

I had to tell him. I couldn't stand it anymore. I'm surprised Angel hadn't already told everyone the real reason I wanted to stay with Max. That's not a bad thing though. If they knew, they'd never look at me the same. Angel was a good kid though. She respected my awesomeness, unlike some people. She told me last night I was almost as awesome and useful as Justin Bieber! I was thrilled! Justin Bieber... if only I wasn't already taken... I sighed inwardly at this thought. If only I could have both, then my life would be complete. But Fang deserves better than that. He deserves me all to himself. I can't wait until I see him again so I can tell him! He will be so pleased to have me he'll practically fall over himself wanting to kiss me, and then we'll hug and dance and make out all night! But, first I need to get to him. Being the awesome genius that I am I figured out the best plan ever! So brilliant that even Einstein couldn't think of it.

Max's POV

"Max?" I tuned towards the feathery thing that was speaking to me. I was glad to see that there was no possessive, i-know-you-want-me look on his face for once.

"Yes Dylan?" I was almost afraid to ask.

"Can we go and find Fang?" now this took me by surprise. I almost forgot to flap. He wanted to find Fang?

"Urm... Yes... But why?" did I really want to know what sort of bragging he was planning to make Fang listen to?

"I... I... I don't like seeing you sad, Max." Stupid clone never stopped obsessing over me. I could only think of one response to this Twilight-worthy statement.

"Urm... sure."

Dylan's POV

Score! It worked! You must be telling me that a plan like mine was so brilliant and complicated that it would give all of you a heart attack if it failed, but I'm celebrating anyway, only because I was going to see Fang! Fang... he was pretty much the emo me, only not as hot. I mean how could he be as hot as me? Fang's hot, but not that hot. I watched the sea shimmering below us. I played my favourite game: My reflection. I just had to find my reflection in the water and look at my god-like face for as long as possible, but I couldn't focus. I need to see him.

Fang's POV

"They're gonna rip up your heads, your aspirations to shreds, another cog in the murder machine!" I sang as I lifted the pocket knife. I love this song. "they say all teenagers scare the living out of me" I really shouldn't have downloaded the clean version. "Oh! Eyeliner! Now where did I put it..." I set the knife down. I couldn't start cutting myself without doing my eyeliner at the same time! When searching for it in my bag, I found a small rock with a word carved on the back. I wish I could read it, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't because the word was roughly etched on the back. Ah well. It sparkled, so I put it in my pocket. Eventually I found my eyeliner, but when I turned around my pocket knife was being stolen by a raccoon. "NOOOOO!" I shouted and then broke down crying and the raccoon looked at me with a confused expression on its face.

Dylan's POV

That night we made camp in a cave thing on a cliff. Although I hated it, I found that I had some more fans. They were bugs. They were so interested in me in the night I woke everyone up by screaming my most manly scream. The bugs were so scary, I'm almost crying in fear at the memory, but I'm not cause I'm too awesome to cry. The next morning I asked Max if I could go flying. If I didn't know that she loved me I could've sworn that she added 'and please don't come back' to the end of her yes, but I do so I know she didn't. So I went flying over the forest below our cave. Eventually with my awesomely awesome sight I seen a huge clearing with a tall boy with black wings wearing all black chasing after a raccoon. It took even my awesomely smart brain a moment to work out who it was. When I realised that it was Fang I got really happy. I couldn't wait.

Fang's POV

I had spent the morning chasing the racoon that had stole my pocket knife. I had no idea that racoons could laugh until it chucked my knife at my head and ran off leaving me crying and nursing my poor forehead. "Somewhere over the rainbow!" I had no idea why I was singing that, but I was. I was just about to put on my mascara and cut myself when I heard someone shout my name.

"Fangles!" Oh no! My flock have found me! This started a whole new round of tears.

Dylan's POV

I put my arms around the crying Fang.

"It's ok, it's only me. I've only come to tell you something." He looked up at me confused. "You are very lucky, Fang. I love you." For a second he looked like he might reject me, but after a moment he got really excited.

"ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod!" he said and hugged me.

"Did you get my present?" I asked him

"The sparkly rock?"

"Yes. It said 'love from Mr Awesome' on it! How did you not know it was from me?"

"I couldn't read it..." he said looking away from me

Max's POV

Boy, was I glad I had followed Dylan. If I didn't, I would never have known that the love of my life was gay, and Dylan was using me to get to him. I don't have anything against gays, but I'm not going to date one. I arrived just in time to hear Dylan's declaration of love. Thank God they didn't hear me. And Saint says Fang is a ninja. I started to take out my ultimate weapon of torture. A Justin Bieber cut out.

"I couldn't read it..." Fang said. I couldn't take any more of this. I jumped on top of them shouting some stuff.

I'd tell you all of it but I only remember shouting "Fang! I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!" and "BURN IN JEB, DYLAN YOU ASS!"

I beat them both again and again with my Justin Bieber cut out, enjoying their screams of terror until they stopped. I had killed them. Whoops... at least we can celebrate Dylan's death now. I flew back to my flock to tell them the good news.

Fang saved the document to his laptop. "Dylan? How are we going to spread our story to the world now we're dead?" he asked the annoying prat on his right.

"Use the power of fanfiction?" he replied, a bright idea for once.

"Ok" Fang said, sending the document to a writer called 'siriusly chibi'.

Fang and Dylan then held hands and skipped away into the sunset together, like the end of some terrible, cheesy romance.

Yes people I do know that Dylan and Fang are way out of character, but it's only for fun.

R&R?

~ Chibi