Series: Ouran High School Host Club
Pairing(s): Hikaru/Kaoru
Summary: Hikaru and Kaoru admit their feelings for each other.
Disclaimer:Ouran High School Host Club and all related characters, etc. are property of Bisco Hatori.
Other Notes: This is short, but it still took me a long time to get it to sound more or less right. Hopefully, it'll be good enough and none of you will want to kill this one-shot because of bad quality. Shounen-ai, so if you don't like it, don't read it. Flames will be used to kill small, cute, and furry animals. Please review, though! I would really like to know if I suck or not!
------
It was as he glanced across the room and saw his twin entering that he was able to relax his brow and feel at ease. His thoughts swirled and threatened to give him a headache, but this state of mental fatigue made him all too anxious to give up his train of thought at his first chance. The chance to focus on Kaoru's entrance instead of on his thoughts was one such opportunity.
He kept his eyes closed, and shifted slightly. Some of his messy orange hair fell across his eyelids. Had his eyes been open, and had Kaoru known that he had been awake, he would have reached up a hand to brush the stray locks away. As circumstances were, he let them remain.
He could feel his twin's eyes on his face, and felt almost obligated to look back with his own amber orbs. But he couldn't. He knew a question would once again take shape in his mind, and he did not want to remind himself of it once more.
The answer he expected did little to subdue his circling thoughts. After all...
"Hikaru..." he heard his name uttered in his twin's light voice. He would have tried to decipher the meaning of that tone, if he weren't so intent on believing that it did not matter.
So in his effort to not believe what his thoughts told him was true, Hikaru Hitachiin exhausted the last of his mind's strength and fell asleep.
Kaoru noticed no difference in his brother's breathing as his twin fell into true sleep. He hadn't caught the fact that Hikaru had been awake since he had entered the room. Though, if he had known, it would have quite doubtfully mattered to him.
He had no reason to keep his entrance secret from his brother. There was nothing about his getting into the bed that was unusual to the twins. All that could have been kept secret had been. All that could have been said hadn't been.
He looked at his identical brother, and mused for a moment whether he looked just like Hikaru when he slept. Was there any difference between the features on their faces? Any insignificant trait that made them anything less than mirror images of each other? Perhaps. He didn't dwell on it too much.
Though, if while he slept his face revealed anything other than what it did normally, he was grateful to the darkness for covering it.
He realized he had been staring at his brother, at the subtle glow his milky skin produced. He looked away, a familiar thought crossing his mind. But the sleeping face of his twin was carved into his vision, and he could not rid himself of it.
He looked back at Hikaru, and wondered how soft his pale skin might be. He mused how those lips of his would feel against his own, but pushed the thought from his mind immediately. He knew that it was wrong. Brothers were not meant to think of each other this way, and so Hikaru could not return such feelings.
A tear formed in the corner of his eye, but it was too faint to be noticed. Hikaru... he thought, What would you think if I told you how I felt?
He took Hikaru's hand in his, observing it. He brought it up to his lips for a light kiss before replacing it.
Not long after that, he was asleep.
Hikaru suddenly found himself awake, and grateful. That dream had been quite too real for his liking, and seemed quite prophetic. But he decided that was impossible. He recalled it, if only to prove to himself how ludicrous it was to think it had been real:
"I'm sorry..." said Kaoru, looking down at the floor awkwardly. His eyes held an emotion alien to Hikaru, alloyed with the faintest tinge of fear.
Hikaru understood the meaning of the apology, even though his dream-self hadn't even said anything yet. It meant that Kaoru and he were meant to only be brothers, and nothing more than that. It also meant that his brother would hardly look at him the same again.
He wondered what the fear in his brother's eyes was of. Not of Hikaru, he hoped. Of how things would be, of how their world would change?
"What are you afraid of, Kaoru? His dream-self had to ask.
And the dream had ended there.
I
would never tell Kaoru how I felt,
the orange-haired teen told himself. That's
why it could never happen. I don't want to destroy our perfect world with
my feelings. What I feel for him is wrong, and he wouldn't want this on his mind.
He repeated that twice in his head, and then found a comfortable position and was about to sleep again.
Kaoru stirred just in time to notice that his brother was awake.
"You're awake, Hikaru?" he asked groggily.
"Couldn't sleep." Hikaru wondered why his brother had awoken then, but dismissed it.
"You should get some sleep," Kaoru was more awake now, "That English test is tomorrow."
Hikaru almost laughed. He wished that he could just worry about that instead of about his feelings for his twin. He realized he was smiling.
"What's so funny?"
"Nothing, Kaoru." He shifted in the bed, feeling a bit better. "Good night."
"Good... night." Kaoru wished he knew what his brother was thinking about, as it felt so odd to not. They had grown up knowing each other's thoughts, but that was not always the case anymore. Kaoru never did know what would go through his brother's mind if he told Hikaru about his feelings toward him.
Kaoru sighed lightly, and then felt his brother's hand around his own. Hikaru laced his fingers with Kaoru's.
"Hikaru?" Kaoru looked at his brother.
Hikaru opened his eyes.
Hikaru felt entirely uncomfortable. He didn't know why he had reached his hand out. He didn't know why he didn't draw it back in. He forced his gaze to meet his twin's, hoping his facial expression would say everything, so he wouldn't have to.
"Hikaru, I..." Kaoru gripped his brother's hand, and looked down at it. Something about this gesture, and something about Hikaru's eyes made him want to say this. It didn't seem so wrong anymore, somehow. "I think..."
"The "Brotherly Love"...isn't just an act, is it?" Hikaru felt so sure, now.
Kaoru shook his head. He moved closer to his brother's warmth. He looked up into Hikaru's eyes.
For a blissful second, a second each had wished for, their lips met.
And content in answered questions, Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin fell asleep.
