Routine

Rick listened. Sounds of water coming from the shower. Shower door opening then closing. Hearing the muffled sounds of water cascading over her flawless skin. Images of foaming soap flowing from her chocolate shoulders down her back and circling down the drain. She was taking her morning shower. Ten minutes later, he expected her to come into his room smelling like fresh lavender, looking all beautiful in her loosely tied blue robe and start a conversation. It had become a routine now. A semblance of normalcy that Rick craved. Rick had to catch himself. He did not want to imagine too much. His imagination seemed nowadays to involuntary set his body in motion. He had to meet up with Daryl to go out on a run and did not want to have to endure another sideways look from Daryl. Daryl knew how he felt and on more than one occasion told him to stop thinking and do something. He wanted to but didn't know if she felt the same way. No need to rock the boat, take the chance of ruining what he had. So instead of doing something, anything, he did nothing.

He could hear her footsteps, coming down the hall towards his room. Just like clockwork there she stood, imagination turned into reality.

Rick looked up while continuing to get dressed and said "Hey, good morning."

"Hey morning to you too. You getting ready to go?" Asked Michonne

"Yeah, Daryl and I are heading out in a few. Gonna to scout out that town he and Aaron saw on their last run."

"While you are out, could you pick up a few items for me? That's if you just happen run across what I need". Michonne handed Rick a folded piece of paper. Their fingers briefly touching as he took the note. "And thanks"

"OK, will do" Rick placed the note on the foot of the bed while he finished adjusting his gun belt.

Carl walked into the bedroom as Rick and Michonne were stuck in their morning gaze. Carl smiled wondering when they would finally see the light. He couldn't help but think, he only had one eye and he could clearly see what they couldn't with four. He chuckled to himself then cleared his throat to announce his presence.

"Hey Dad, Michonne"

Both Rick and Michonne nodded their heads towards Carl acknowledging his presence.

Michonne turned and looked at Carl "I need to change your bandage"

She then turned her gaze back to Rick, smiled and gave Rick his usual morning send off, "You be good out there."

#####

Daryl was standing on the porch ready to go when Rick opened the door. Rick's flushed face was all Daryl needed to see. Daryl's routine smirk reached Rick's embarrassed eyes.

"Don't. Say. Anything" Rick said before Daryl could even open his mouth. They turned, faced the street and walked down the steps in unison headed towards the car.

Rick had only gotten halfway down the block when he remembered he had left the note that Michonne had given him on the bed. He told Daryl to go ahead, get the car ready and he would be right back as he ran home to retrieve Michonne's note. How could he let himself forget? Maybe he thought, smiling to himself, it was that blue robe she had on. Seeing her in that robe every morning did seem to have an effect on him. It set his imagination into overdrive every time. He did not want to disappoint his best friend by not doing everything he could to make her as happy as she had made him.

Entering the house Rick took the stairs two at a time. As he entered his bedroom he could hear Michonne and Carl in his bathroom. She was preparing to change Carl's dressing.

From where he stood, he knew they could not see him so he thought he would take a moment to watch them. He loved how they interacted. He liked seeing how happy Michonne and Carl were together.

#######

Carl watched Michonne as she assembled the bandages, ointments and disinfectants on the bathroom sink. He closed the lid to the commode and sat down. He heard Michonne softly humming.

"Thank you" Carl said.

"What?" He had jolted her from her thoughts.

"Thank you, for helping change my bandage"

Michonne turned towards Carl and caught his gaze. "Carl, you don't ever have to thank me for taking care of you. I love taking care of you and Judith. You know that don't you?"

Carl knew in his heart this was true. Michonne couldn't have loved them any more than if she had borne them herself. "Yes, I know. I….. I heard you humming."

"Where you thinking about Andre?" Carl noticed her posture shifted ever so slightly and a brief sadness flickered in her eyes. "You don't have to tell me if it makes you sad."

Carl was so perceptive. Michonne quickly recovered her smile. "Tell you what. I will tell you one good thing about Andre and one not so good. OK?"

"OK"

Michonne started removing Carl's soiled dressing as she recounted the memory of her son.

"Andre was about two years old and we had been going through those terrible two tantrums. Boy, he could really throw a good one, falling on the floor, arms and legs flaying all over the place and screaming at the top of his lungs. Of course, those tantrums always assured him a time out. But it just seemed he never could learn the association.

Well, one hot, I mean really hot day, I needed to go to the drug store to pick up some lipstick and nail polish. Mike and I had date night planned and I was completely out of my favorite shade."

"What, wait a minute. You, with nail polish and lipstick. That's so girly!" Carl broke out into a wide smile.

"I will have you know, I was all girly back then. Long nails, high heels, frilly dresses and all. Anyway, I thought that I would just hop in the car and pop on over to Dillard's. That was the local drug store that I frequented.

I remote started the car so it would be cool when we got in. I put Andre in his car seat, jumped in the car and off we went. I guess Andre was tired because the short car ride put him instantly to sleep. So when I got there I had a decision to make. Do I wake up a possibly cranky kid up or do I forgo that tube of Ruby Red lipstick that I so desperately needed for my date with Mike?

"So, what did you do?"

Michonne chuckled to herself. She threw the soiled bandages into the waste basket. She began to clean the wound and continued.

"I woke him up! At first he was ok. I had him in my arms, but because it was so hot outside, I put him down so he could walk. Now, you have to imagine this. Dillard's parking lot was covered in asphalt so on hot days, with each step you took, you had to pry your feet from the ground because the soles of you shoes would stick to the asphalt."

"But you just said you put Andre down so he could walk" Carl let out a smirk.

"Yeah, Yeah, I didn't think things through. Andre wasn't having anything to do with walking after having his nap interrupted. After I put him down, I saw his face start to wrinkle up and his mouth open wide and then I knew I had made a bad decision. Andre fell on the ground and started to flap his legs and arms, but then… I guess he realized he had made a bad decision as well, ground being hot and all. Andre popped up like a kernel of corn!

Carl let out a laugh at the thought. Then quickly added "He wasn't hurt was he?"

"No, he was all right after a few minutes. Thing is, Andre never had a temper tantrum after that."

Michonne had finished cleaning the wound. She picked up a clean bandage and began to apply it to the wound.

"Well that's good"

"Yep." Michonne leaned in and whispered, "Now, let me tell you a nice story."

"I thought that was the nice one. Andre learning his lesson."

Michonne smiled and continued …

"Andre was smart. He could write his name much earlier than most kids his age and he could draw. Give him a piece of paper and some crayons and he would be in heaven. He loved to draw these little stick figured depictions of us as a family, me, him and Mike. Like the proud momma I was, I saved a lot of his art work. Placed drawings of his on the refrigerator. But the very first picture that he drew of us was my favorite. I kept that in a frame and set it on the bedside table.

We got lucky in early May with a most wonderful, glorious, beautiful day. Mike and Andre had left to go to the park since it was such a beautiful day and I decided to do a little spring cleaning to our bedroom while they were out. As I was cleaning the apartment, I opened the windows to let in some fresh air. Somehow, it just slipped my mind that I left the window open when I realized that I needed to go get some additional cleaning supplies from the store.

While I was out, one of those pop up showers blew through. It came and went so fast, I gave it no thought. But when I got back home, I found that my favorite picture had been ruined by the rain and my negligence. When Mike and Andre returned home, I was just sitting on the living room floor, holding the ruined picture and bawling up a storm."

Carl looked at Michonne. He couldn't imaging such a strong woman in tears over a picture. But then a memory of his own mother came into his mind. How his own mother gushed and fawned over pictures he had made. Then it dawned on him, all moms must be like that. For a moment, Michonne caught Carl's gaze and a wordless communication flowed between them. It wasn't the first time and it would not be the last if she could help it. This young boy was as much hers as he was his father's and she vowed she would never leave him or his sister.

Michonne continued, "Andre ran over to me and placed his arms around my neck and told me not to cry that he would make me another. So, I pulled myself together, hugged him back and got up off that floor. I really didn't think that much about it as the day went on. Mike had told me to just sit back and relax on the couch while he fixed us some lunch. Andre headed off to his room and I turned on the TV, trying to turn my brain off.

That is until.."

"Until what?" Carl asked intrigued

"Until Andre came back into the living room begging me and Mike to follow him. Andre took us into our bedroom and low and behold there amongst all the scattered crayons and cosmetics, my Ruby Red lipstick included, was a new stick picture of our family etched onto the white walls of our condo. And there stood Andre proudly beaming".

What.. Did you get mad? Did he get in trouble? Carl asked

"No. I scooped my baby up and hugged him dearly. This time my tears were tears of joy" Michonne let loose a sigh.

"Well, there, all done!" Michonne stepped back and looked at Carl.

"Thank you."

"Carl!"

"No, thank you for telling me about Andre. I like him a lot."

"Yeah, he was a handful, but he was my beautiful little boy. I miss him every day."

Carl reached over to Michonne and gave her a hug. Michonne wrapped her arms around Carl, kissed the top of his head then ruffled his hair. "Now help me get your dad's bathroom all cleaned up so we can get our day started."

Rick could see their embrace. He bowed his head and smiled. He always knew that Michonne was a mother even though she never told him. He surmised the memory was too painful for her so he never pressed her to share her past life with him. He was confident that in time she would eventually share her pain with him. Listening to their conversation he knew that at some point she had shared her secret with Carl and he was glad about that.

As Michonne and Carl began to move about the bathroom, Rick quietly backed away from the doorway and quickly walked down the hall. He didn't want to be discovered. Rick hoped that one day soon, Michonne would feel free to speak of her love for Andre to him as she did with Carl.