Something I couldn't resist writing.
Disclaimer: Mickey and the Beanstalk belongs to Walt Disney, and Star Trek belongs to Paramount, Gene Roddenberry, JJ Abrams, and CBS.
James T. Kirk and the Beanstalk
Chapter 1: My What a Happy Day
James T. Kirk was putting his son David to bed with his best friends, Leonard "Bones" McCoy and Spock as they was putting their children, Bones' daughter Joanna, and Spock's daughter Amanda to bed as their wives Carol Marcus, Christine Chapel, and Nyota Uhura were about to leave.
"Now boys, for once get them to sleep by their bedtime." Carol said with a smile.
"Good night kids." Christine said as she blew the children a kiss.
"Good night, honey." Nyota said as she waved to Amanda.
"Good night Aunt Christine." David said.
"Good night Mommy." Joanna said.
"Good night Dr. Chapel." Amanda said.
"Now go to sleep kids." Jim said.
"Could you tell us a story, Daddy?" David asked.
"Well, I guess one wouldn't hurt." Jim answered.
"Yay!" Joanna called out. "Isn't that cool Daddy?"
"Well..." Bones said. "Uh... No."
"This is a story everyone should hear." Jim said.
"Yeah, but not everyone should tell it, and you know who." Bones said.
"Well I'm gonna tell it anyway." Jim said.
"Alright, suit yourself." Bones said with a sigh.
"Now, once upon a time-" Jim began before Bones interrupted.
"Funny how nothing happens now-a-days." Bones mused before he stopped when Jim glared at him.
"Now, once upon a time there was a place called Happy Valley." Jim began again. "It was called Happy Valley because everyone who lived there was happy."
"Logical." Spock said with a shadow of a smile.
"Okay kids, now close your eyes and tell me if you can picture it." Jim said.
"I think I can." David said.
"Me too." Joanna and Amanda added.
"It's all nice and green with a lot of hills." David said.
()()()()()
Happy Valley was often called Nature's garden spots, nestled among green rolling hills. A lovely brook, the laughing brook, flowed through the valley. Winding roads connected the valley with stately trees lining them. They also connected the lush fields and prosperous farms that dotted the landscape, and on a hill top over-looking the valley and shining like a jewel stood a magnificent castle, and three precious princesses lived in the castle. One was the fair maiden Carol Marcus who made fair rules and kept the country clean. Her fellow princesses were Christine Chapel and Nyota Uhura. While Christine helped keep the peace and cared for sick children as the country's best pediatrician, Nyota kept the country bright, cheerful, and happy with her excellent diplomatic skills and her beautiful singing voice. Men, women, and children came from all over the world, feeding the country's trade, just to hear her beautiful voice.
My... What a happy day.
What a sunny sky.
Kinda make you sigh
in a happy way.
What a very merry day...
All the world is gay.
When your cares are light.
And your heart takes flight.
And you're swept away.
The air is sweet with clover.
The clouds are turning over.
Oh yes they're turning over
Just to show their silver lining.
My what a happy day...
Never knew such bliss.
Never read of this in a book or play!
What a lovely day!
What a great big gorgeous, sumptuous, thumping, bumptious, hum-galumptious, simply scrumptious!
My what a happy day!
When Nyota would sing, all the farmers would join in as well, and their work got twenty times quicker.
My what a happy day...
Never knew such bliss.
Never read of this in a book or play!
What a lovely day!
What a great big gorgeous, sumptuous, thumping, bumptious, hum-galumptious, simply scrumptious!
Oh me, oh my, what a happy day!
The voice of Nyota cast a magic spell of joy and prosperity throughout the land, but it was too good to last, for one day a mysterious shadow crept over the valley and something dreadful happened.
()()()()()
Carol, Christine, and Nyota were talking. They weren't biologically sisters, but they had been raised in the same home for so long that they couldn't have been closer if they were. When the sky got surprisingly dark, they all screamed and tried to run, but they were caught by the creature who had caused the darkness grabbed them, and they knew no more for a long time.
()()()()()
When the shadow lifted, Carol and her sisters were gone. No longer was the valley happy, for without the magic of Nyota's voice, Christine's economic know how, and Carol's wise guidance, all was misery... Misery... Misery.
The grass fields and trees all became a depressing reddish color as the desolation spread throughout the land and everything dried up. The fields of corn turned to dust almost before you could say kerplop. The Laughing Brook flowed no more, and what little water remained fell down the cracks that appeared in the river bed.
To think that this land was once happy valley, and now it was little better than gruesome gulch.
Days passed. Then weeks passed. Then months passed.
()()()()()
A group of humble peasants, three orphaned boys, were hit the hardest. All they had was a cow who had dried up with the Laughing Brook. The three boys were all that were left of three proud families who had tilled the land together. Among them were James T. Kirk and his closest friends, Spock of Vulcan and Leonard McCoy, who Jim just called Bones. The house was so much to handle for the three boys that it was in a derelict state with one of the doors having fallen off very recently. The three poor farmers sat at the dinner table as they were on the edge of starving to death. By some combination of miracles and careful planning, the three were still alive, still breathing, and sharing a pitiful crust of bread between them. Jim made as thin cuts with his knife as he could to save the last loaf of bread they had for as long as they could.
Were their spirits broken? Did they lose hope? Yes. The three teenagers were facing famine and were left only with beans... Well a bean by now. One bean to split between three people. Jim cut it as thinly as possible until there were three semi-thin bean slices that barely made the bread bulge. The only bright side anyone could have found was that at least the bean didn't have any bones. Bones had become gaunt from lack of food and unshaven to preserve what little water they had left, becoming a bag of bone and weakening muscles. A true picture of despair, but Bones never whimpered. Bones never gave up.
"SHUT UP!" Bones called out. "I CAN'T STAND IT!"
Bones then grabbed as many plates as he could and attempted to eat them like a sandwich before Jim and Spock grabbed him and pulled the dishes away.
"Okay Bones, easy now." Jim said as Spock and Jim rubbed his back in an attempt to calm him. "Easy now."
"Don't worry guys." Bones said with a heavy sigh as he breathed hard from the rush of adrenaline. "Yeah... I'll be alright. I'll be alright."
Bones said he'd be alright, but Jim wondered. Bones had suffered too much. Spock, knowing how Bones got when he was riled wondered what plan was forming in the mind of the desperate Bones.
Bones meanwhile saw the axe they had used to chop down wood and got a sinister smile on his face as he slipped away and grabbed it.
"BONES NO!" Jim called out in alarm when he saw the empty space where the axe usually hung.
()()()()()
"Here cowsie-wowsie." Bones said in a raspy, demented voice as he approached the cow. "Nice old cowsie-wowsie."
"Bones!" Jim called out as Bones suddenly shouted out and lunged at the cow with the axe. The cow mooed in alarm and jumped onto a tree as Jim pulled the axe out of Bones' hand, and he then began chewing on the tail before Spock and Jim grabbed Bones and held him down.
"But guys..." Bones panted as he began to come back to his senses. "I've just gotta eat. I'm so... Hungry."
Spock administered the Vulcan Nerve Pinch to give Bones the rest he obviously needed before he and Jim brought Bones into the house where he rested on the couch.
Aw, poor Bones.