The day had been empty and lonesome. Waking up in itself had filled him with a sense of dread. His house was silent, and due to the lateness of the hour the silence resonated outside, too. The home was always so quiet. There were no laughing children or spouse to argue with. There wasn't even a dog. It was only him. Rick rolled over in his bed and sighed. He tousled his hair absently then finally decided to get up. There was no way he was going to be able to go back to sleep.
Rick got up and shuffled around his house for a while. He changed clothes, made breakfast, had some juice, read yesterday's paper... His usual routine. He pulled up his sleeve to check one of his watches. One was synced to the dimension where that one particular Jerry resided. It was still a reasonable hour there. Maybe he could drop in for a visit. The thought of doing so made him a little nervous but he would much rather hang out with Jerry and risk running into another Rick than be alone any longer.
He finished preening then set the coordinates for his portal gun. There was some anxiety in doing so, and he double and triple checked everything to make sure his programming was correct. The gnu had just been repaired and he didn't want to take any chances screwing up. Rick hesitated for a bit then finally ignited the gun, squinting his eyes at the sudden flash of light that radiated before him.
The familiar green swirling portal appeared and he stepped through it, thankful to have landed in the correct dimension this time. It vanished behind him with a small sound and the slight electrical buzzing it emitted faded with it. Now all that he was left with was the chirping of crickets and distant traffic on the freeway.
The summer night air was the first thing to hit him. It smelled sweet and refreshing and he stood stoic in the Smith's yard for a moment just to enjoy it. A few fireflies swirled around him and he admired them, watching how they lazily drifted along ever upwards seemingly without care. He wondered what kind of life that would be like. If anything, it would be freeing, he thought.
After he indulged in his musings he went up to the front door. He fixed his hair again and nervously straightened his lab coat before knocking meekly on the door. There was no answer for some time. Maybe he didn't knock loud enough? As he went to knock again the door opened and he was greeted by Jerry.
"Hey Jer-Bear!" Rick greeted him with a wave then held his arms out for a hug. Jerry stared back at him in surprise then returned the hug with zeal.
"Rick! It's... It's so good to see you." Jerry hugged him tightly, practically clinging, and buried his face into his shoulder. His presence warmed Rick and he returned the affection. Jerry was the only person aside from his Morty that didn't constantly degrade or ignore him.
"Haha, of course Jerry." Rick squeezed him tightly then pulled away, "Y-you-you know I can't stay away!"
"Is there... I mean it's just so sudden. I wasn't expecting you again so soon." Jerry raised his brows in surprise, but his expression was still that of delight, if just a little bewildered. He smiled again then awkwardly motioned for him to come inside. Rick obliged him and followed the other man to the couch, where they both sat at either end.
"Well I..." He started but trailed off, faltering in his speech. What was he to say? That he was lonesome? That Jerry was really his only friend, in any dimension? Sure he had Morty but... That friendship was different. Morty was a kid.
"Uh, Rick?"
He looked up at Jerry's concerned face then back to his hands. He hadn't realized he had been so transfixed on himself that he had totally spaced out, "I just wanted to see you and hang out. I-i-is that okay?"
"What? Yeah it's fine. I was just curious." Jerry chuckled uncomfortably.
"Uh is... W-where's everyone else?" He glanced around the room. He was suddenly concerned he was intruding. The thought of C-137 Rick showing up to rip on him was also an immediate worry.
"Well. Beth's working late. Again." Jerry said with an inflection of irritation then cleared his throat, "Uh, Morty's with Rick, god knows where, and Summer's with her friends at a concert."
"It's really great that your family has such fulfilling lives." Rick smiled but he felt a bit jealous, and of course sad, "Y-you must be so proud of them. You're so lucky!"
"Yeah I... Guess you're right." Jerry said slowly and with less jubilance than Rick. Maybe he took it for granted, and in which Rick couldn't blame him. He was used to being surrounded by family. Dysfunctional or not, you would get used to the people in your life and what they did every day wasn't quite as important. At least, that is what he thought it might be like.
"Sorry to just barge in I was just- I bet I'm interrupting something cool you're doing. A-are you working on some new advertisement? I really loved the hungry for apples one, that was so great! You're so smart Jerry." Rick beamed at him in admiration. He could see Jerry's face flush a bit. While the man looked uncomfortable he also seemed genuinely flattered.
"Thanks. Uh... No I'm a little- I'm taking some time off." He said clumsily, "I'm looking for a new agency."
"I bet you'll find something really soon. I mean... I-I- anyone who wouldn't take you on would really be missing out!" Rick said enthusiastically. The other man smiled and nodded. Jerry seemed at a loss for what to say but maybe he was reading him wrong. He wouldn't doubt if he was. The Council had gradually destroyed any semblance of confidence he had in himself.
"I-I bet you could even branch out on your own. Jerry's Ads," Rick continued and made a sweeping motion in the air to give the presence of a sign, "o-or something. I know you'd come up with a great name."
"Hey, yeah, you're right. I mean, I know how all of that stuff works. What's stopping me from going it on my own? Why should I have to wait around for someone to pick me up when I can just make a way for myself?"
"That's it, Jerry, you got this!" Rick smiled broadly.
A silence now settled between them. This always happened. They would talk and then it would become quiet. Sometimes it was a comfortable one, like when they worked on jigsaw puzzles or made extravagant models from Jerry's Legos. Other times, like this, it felt awkward. It felt like Rick had done something to cause the conversation to derail and come to a halt and he had no idea how to get it back on track.
"Are... you okay, Rick?"
"Huh?" Rick was again startled. He was hesitant to give a response to that question. 'Was he okay'.Such a simple thought and something so unfamiliar. It was foreign and he had trouble wrapping his mind around the small concept. That was probably because he was so stupid, he reasoned.
"You just seem... Off." Jerry chuckled awkwardly and shrugged. He attempted a smile but with his nervous expression it became more of a wince.
"It's just..." Rick started again, this time sighing. He could be honest with him, "I-I-I did something really stupid, Jerry. I needed something for an experiment I'm working on but I-I'm- I typed in the wrong coordinates on my portal gun and ended up on one of the satellite planets of Gamma Six. I-It's a nightmare there, Jerry. I don't really wanna talk about that."
"But I landed on my portal gun and stranded us. Morty got hurt real bad. I actually ended up having to call the Council for help." Rick fidgeted his fingers and stared at them sadly, "H-he's okay now, though... But now they won't let me live it down. Some of them are even really mad at me, Jerry, because they pushed me through to get a Morty just so I would... So I would shut up I guess and leave them alone. I-I'm just not any good, Jerry. I can't even keep my plants alive, let alone a Morty. E-everything about me's a huge mistake. I'm really... I-I'm not good enough to be a Rick."
"Rick that's... You know that's not true, right? You don't really believe those douchebags." Jerry scoffed.
"What choice do I have?" Rick looked at him pleadingly. Great, he was starting to tear up. Why did he have to cry so easily? He wanted Jerry to think he was cool and tough. He didn't want Jerry to know he was really a neurotic dipshit who cried at the drop of a hat. Even the first time they met, Rick had cried in front of him. He shook his head and then cradled his head in his hands, "They're right."
"No they're not." Jerry said sternly and rested his hands on Rick's shoulders, "Rick, listen to me. All of those other Ricks are assholes. You're better than them."
"Oh jeeze, Jerry, I don't-"
"You're better than they are." Jerry reiterated and squeezed his shoulders firmly. Something about his tone made Rick think he wasn't just talking to him. He knew how bad his own Rick tore into him, how deep he drove the seeds of worry and doubt into his brain. It was supposed to be universal that most Ricks cared about nobody, especially Jerrys and Mortys, but since the latter had their use they received preferential treatment. He had never really fallen into that line. He wanted to be friends with everybody and make the world better if he could. Maybe Jerry was right...
That idea was shot down quickly with his immense self doubt. He depreciated himself and felt almost guilty for thinking that. Though he wasn't sure if he should belive it about himself, he did believe Jerry stood by what he'd just said. That alone lifted his spirits.
"Wow Jerry, y-you really think so? Gosh, you're so nice..." Rick beamed, his eyes still damp from tears. He wasn't used to this. Jerry was such an anomaly to him, and even though they had known one another for months every meeting was still strange and new.
"I mean it, you're the best Rick out there." Jerry smiled at him in return and squeezed his shoulder again for emphasis. Rick glanced down at it and flushed slightly. His heart sped up and he was suddenly anxious. Why? What was this reaction he was having all of a sudden?
Jerry patted his shoulder then pulled away before he could react. Rick gulped and averted his gaze back to his hands. Everything felt weird to him again but Jerry appeared comfortable and cool.
"I'd really like to see where you live sometime." Jerry blurted suddenly. He then chuckled mirthlessly and added, "Uh, I mean, I'm just really curious about your dimension and all of that science stuff."
"Sure Jerry, that'd be great. It's nothing special though it's really a lot like yours. 'Cept there's... Not really a you or a Beth, no Summer... My house is pretty boring." He smiled sheepishly, "I-I have a lot of models I could show you. Like planes and stuff."
"You collect models?"
"Yeah! It's really neat. It's so fun to just sit there and put all the little pieces together. And then you get to paint it however you want. I've made some really crazy stuff." Rick chortled.
"I'd love to see it. I tried to get into models but... You know. I kept passing out from the glue." Jerry shrugged.
"Haha, yeah, it's pretty strong I-" He cut himself off as Jerry suddenly nestled close to him and snaked his arm around his shoulder. Rick gulped and began to blush as he chanced a look at the other man, "Uhhh, Jerry?"
Jerry didn't say anything. He looked as nervous as Rick felt as he shyly rubbed the back of his neck, seemingly searching for something to say, "I... really like you."
"Aw, I-I really like you, too, Jerry. You-You're my best friend, after all!"
Jerry crept his hand to his hair and stroked his fingers through the cropped locks. Rick swallowed heavily, his face growing hotter with each passing second. He didn't really understand what was going on with any of this, let alone himself. He knew the biological reasoning behind everything but not the social. Again he felt awkward and out of place.
Suddenly Jerry pressed closer to him and kissed him, a soft moan escaping his throat as he did so. Rick didn't deny him but he didn't reciprocate either. He was too stunned to give any reaction other than a low, startled whimper. When he continued to remain rigid and stoic Jerry pulled away a bit to stare at him in apprehension.
"Oh, uh..." Rick pulled back some and his fidgeting increased. His heart hammered in his chest so hard he felt like he might pass out. He had really misunderstood what Jerry had meant by 'like'. No, he hadn't misunderstood, not entirely at least. He had just assumed Jerry couldn't possibly mean anything that wasn't platonic.
"Is this alright?" Jerry looked him over with concern while smoothing his hair.
"Yeah. Oh, yeah, it's... j-just- Jerry, I..." Rick stuttered but Jerry shushed him. His breathing wavered as Jerry brushed his neck with his lips and placed delicate kisses up to his jaw. Rick clung to him and the man reciprocated with pulling him closer and partially onto his lap.
"I-it wouldn't work out..." Rick breathed nervously, swallowing hard at the fingers massaging up his thigh. As much as he wanted this continue he was terrified of the situation turning into something horrible. He was scared that he was going to ruin this, and in turn ruin what he had with Jerry.
"We could try." Jerry said almost needily into his shoulder, "You always say nothing will work, why don't we just try something."
He was right, Rick often did shoot down any ideas of them expanding their friendship or spending more time together. It was never because he didn't want to be with Jerry, it was just because he was afraid. Everything was governed by his fear of the unknown.
"I- Uh... Yeah. O-okay..." Rick nodded timidly. After a moment's hesitation he settled himself fully in Jerry's lap. His fingers trembled as he clumsily knitted them between the brunette strands. There had been many nights where he had fantasies and dreams of being like this with Jerry but he never thought they would actually come to fruition. It had never dawned on him that Jerry could possibly feel the same way.
He leaned into Jerry and kissed him experimentally. The kiss was light but it ignited something in his head. He felt as though he were melting inside, but in a good way. It was so hard for him to grasp understanding of this sensation, of how he could be so delighted while simultaneously being frightened. He heard Jerry sigh gratefully in response to his kissing and so then did he in turn.
He groaned some as Jerry gently bit his lip before delving his tongue into his mouth again. Rick kissed him more fervently, his shaking hands clasped around Jerry's face as though he was his tether to this world. He was starting to feel almost drunk from the heat that surrounded him. It filled his head and settled over his thoughts, effectively smothering them down to a low buzz.
Jerry's hands had move between his thighs now and were slowly palpating the growing erection in his slacks. Rick choked some and pulled back from Jerry suddenly. The man withdrew his hand and instead moved it back to Rick's knee. He panted and began fidgeting again while Jerry stared at him thoughtfully.
"Wait, Jerry, I'm... Um." Rick's embarrassment felt insurmountable right now. Why did he have to be so painfully gawky about everything? Jerry gazed at him questioningly. He had ceased in continuing but rather stroked short soothing circles in the small of his back. The sensation of it made Rick's skin prickle and flush from heat. It was also helping him to relax.
"I've never..." He trailed off in his embarrassment. Could he really say it?
"You've never what, Rick?"
"I've never really... Y'know..." He darted his eyes to Jerry's then around the room. He could feel his face burning hot and the fact Jerry was seeing him like this made him feel all the more flustered and embarrassed. He covered his face with his hands, a habit he'd had since he was a child. If he couldn't see the problem, it wasn't really there, "I-I've never... I've never been with anyone, Jerry."
"Like... At all? Are you serious?" He asked with disbelief.
He just nodded to Jerry's question. There was silence that followed and Rick gulped. He didn't want to see Jerry's face or know what he was thinking. The other Ricks frequently called him a virgin loser and the like, but they didn't know how accurate they really were. No one had ever desired him, and no one had reciprocated his affection. Jerry had to think he was such a lame ass.
There was suddenly a small, short chuckle that reached Rick's ears and that caused them to burn. He felt Jerry's hands on his and cracked his eyes open to glance at him. Jerry was smiling at him, that same smile that seemed to resonate sympathy and genuine mirth. Was he going to laugh? No, instead he released his hands and simply draped his arms around his torso again.
Jerry gently squeezed the scientist close. When he spoke his tone was a bit uneasy and he was probably as bewildered by this whole situation as he was, "Then... We'll just take it as it comes, I guess."
Rick settled into Jerry and closed his eyes. He really enjoyed this closeness, how soft Jerry felt beside him and how enclosed and secure he felt with him. Jerry seemed content as well with his head resting against his own and arms locked comfortably around his waist. Rick wasn't sure what this was going to turn into or if anything would even come from it. He just knew he liked the man, and he wanted to stay like this.
But he knew that wasn't going to happen. The risk of C-137 Rick stumbling upon them like this was very real, and he didn't want to cause any problems for Jerry and his family. He reluctantly began to shift off his lap and Jerry moved with him and ease him off onto the couch. They sat beside one another and the heavy silence enveloped them again. Were things weird now? Shit, he didn't want them to be weird.
Rick mulled everything over and over again until it ran together like blended ooze. He looked nervously at Jerry who seemed to be having his own thoughts. They met eyes then both cast their gaze away simultaneously. He felt ridiculous but at the same time he wasn't sure what else to feel. This was new. Everything with Jerry was always new.
"Uh-" They both started at the same time, then both chuckled in their own sheepish way.
"Would you wanna... Do you want to stay, for dinner? I can order a pizza. And then maybe we could... Watch a movie?" Jerry scratched the back of his head and ended his sentence on a hopeful note.
"I dunno Jerry, I..." Rick paused before he denied the offer. There he went again turning him down. Turning this type of thing down is how he ended up where he was in the first place: alone. Jerry made him happy, and there was no reason he couldn't hang out for a little while. He smiled and continued, "Yeah, I'd really like that."
Jerry smiled at him as he got up to go get the phone so he could place the order. Rick returned the smile and it remained on his face long after the other man had left the room. Everything felt almost surreal right now, in a nice way. Things between he and Jerry were fine and with this comforting thought now nestled in his brain he allowed himself to relax into the couch and stare at the ceiling fan in solace while he waited for Jerry to return.