What I Never Had
Summary: Kiba had always felt a little suspicious of the kikaichu- and not just because they were bugs or because they lived inside of Shino- but now he positively despised them.
Pairing(s): Shino x Kiba
Rating: M for violence, angst, language, and yaoi content.
Author's Notes: Aaah, oh no! I've done it again: I've started another series. Full credit to Bitch Slap Love for giving me the idea for this with her drabbles Over and Over, all of which were very well written by the way, I think I've read the thing at least four times now.
Another one done from Kiba's point of view, because really... I think it's just an interesting way of portraying Shino and Kiba's relationship that gives a flavor you just can't get from third person or Shino's point of view.
Kiba is just... something else. That's why I love him so much.
1: Let
IT WAS DARK, as if beyond the canopy of leaves above me the stars had all gone out. It was cold, and my breath fogged has I breathed, shivering and drawing my heavy coat closer. Out of the corner of my eye, Shino looked like a statue, standing beside me in our tree on an outcropping of rock. Neither of us looked back, but the wall surrounding Konoha was a dark speck far behind us.
"Shino?" I breathed, rubbing my hands to heat them, pressing them to my cheeks. Shino didn't answer, but that was expected. I was used to his reticence. "Aren't you cold? Damn, your freakin' breath isn't even fogging."
He didn't deign to answer me.
"Did you die?" I teased, reaching out to poke him. He caught my wrist painfully and I winced, whining under my breath that he didn't have to be so rough and that I was only kidding- he knew that!
"No," he said, "I did not die. You disappoint me, Kiba."
"Well, it's hard to tell, if you stand so still and your breath doesn't make fog!" I defended myself, probably a little louder than I should have, since Kurenai and Hinata were asleep. I self-consciously lowered my voice, "Are you gunna answer my question?"
"What was your question?" he responded. I rolled my eyes.
"Forget it," I sighed, shaking my head. "What were you thinking 'bout?"
He hesitated, probably trying to word it in some way he figured I could understand. Damn him.
"I was thinking about my kikaichu," he finally stated. I tilted my head, curiosity piqued.
"Do your kikaichu get cold?"
He shuffled a hand from his pocket to scratch his head before adjusting his glasses and returning it to the pocket. "No, but they become sluggish."
I shivered, trying not to imagine what it felt like to have millions of bugs crawling around beneath my skin.
"So insects are cold-blooded?" I suggested. I figured that if reptiles got sluggish in cold weather, and reptiles had cold blood, then kikaichu must be cold blooded too since they also were sluggish in the cold. It made logical sense.
"No," Shino answered curtly.
"Oh," I scowled.
It was quiet and I tapped my foot angrily, even though, admittedly, my anger had quickly receded and I honestly didn't care anymore.
"So..." I started again cheerfully, examining the fringe of my jacket sleeve- it was getting dirty- "Are your kikaichu all you ever think about?"
"No," he answered just as quickly as before. I gave him a quizzical look and he sighed, realizing he had dug himself a nice, deep grave. He fidgeted for a moment before answering; "I think about you, and Hinata-sama... sometimes Kurenai-sensei. Recently, my father."
I raised an eyebrow at this, letting my hands settle on my hips. "Huh?" I said, "You mean Shibi?"
He nodded. "Yes, Kiba, my father. Is that odd?"
I scratched my cheek idly, "Naw, I guess not. Why, is something going on with the Aburame clan?"
Another hesitation, this time to find an un-offensive way of declining me information; "Nothing of note."
"All right then," I said, "Tell me this 'nothing of note'. We've still got two hours before the morning comes."
He shifted nervously, edging a little further away from me. I couldn't help but smirk when he realized he was the one farthest from the trunk of our tree-perch and the branch was not a particularly thick one- he couldn't edge too far.
"It is nothing to concern yourself with," he said.
I snorted. "All right, now you've got me really interested," I laughed, "Spill it, bug freak."
He sighed. "It is... family business."
"I thought I was considered family," I pouted, folding my arms across my chest, giving my best kicked-puppy-Akamaru face, and he frowned.
"It's nothing, really," he sighed, the tension in his shoulders relaxing minutely as he gave in, "I've just noticed that recently my father has not seemed himself."
"What do you mean?" I asked, "I didn't notice anything strange the last time I saw him."
Shino shrugged, ducking farther into his collar, something he did when mulling a tough thought over. "As I said, it is just a thought. I may be wrong, but he seems to be losing mass."
"Losing mass? Is that your way of saying he's losing weight?"
"That is one way to put it."
"Naw, he can't be losing weight. He looked a little fatter than before, if you asked me," I assured him, shaking my head.
"Actually," he said rather matter-of-factly, "I am almost positive that he's lost a substantial amount of weight in the last two months. Floorboards that used to creak when he treaded upon them don't anymore-"
"Maybe they finally fixed the floors at your place. I bet you guys had termites."
"I could say the same of the Inuzukas and fleas," he shot back.
"Hey! That was only once!" I barked.
"Then that makes one more Inuzuka with fleas than Aburame households with termites," he answered coldly. I scowled.
"Whatever," I muttered, turning away. He scoffed, but I ignored it, fully aware of how childish I was being, but not caring.
"... He can't lift his gourd as easily as he used to," Shino continued.
"He's probably just getting old," I said, rolling my eyes.
"He's just past forty, Kiba," Shino said sternly, eyebrows forming a sharp angle over his glasses, "He's not old enough for natural degeneration of the muscles."
"You make it sound more unnatural than natural," I grumbled.
"He eats as well as always and trains equally hard," he told me, "there is no logical explanation to why he is... losing weight, as you phrased it."
I rolled my eyes, turning to him. "Hey, this was just a thought, right?" He frowned, but nodded. "And you've got no solid proof, so you know what I think?"
"I shouldn't worry about it."
"Damn you, yeah. That's what I thought."
He sighed. "I really don't know."
"Just stop worrying," I waved it away, "I mean... you're probably just paranoid and imagining it. Kinda like when you were dead sure Hinata was being impersonated by an enemy ninja when the poor girl was just trying to be more confident 'n stuff."
"I do regret that," he said, "You are right. I will follow your advice, for the time being."
"Damn straight, I'm right! It's your fault she almost never overcame her timidity!"
"I count myself lucky Hinata-sama is so forgiving, and for Naruto-san intervening."
I let out a breath through my nose, watching the puff of white breath drift away.
"Yeah, Naruto did a little bit... but in the end, you know it was all me."
"Kiba..."
I laughed, "I know, I know. I was only kidding, sheesh! Lighten up, bug freak."
"Hmm," he hummed and I chuckled a little more, but he had effectively ended our conversation, though I was still pleased. Once again, I had tugged a little and he had let me draw him out of his reclusive state for a while, to expose more about himself, before he withdrew again. I watched him lift his chin above the collar of his coat and exhale.
I imagined I could see his worries over Shibi drifting away into the night.
- - -
"OOOOI! HINATA! KURENAI! Wake up," I sang at the top of my lungs, "It's morning, time to hit the road!"
Shino gave me a disdainful look. "Splendid, Kiba. If there are any rogue ninja within ten miles, you have just alerted them to our presence."
"Good morning, Kiba-kun, Shino-kun," Hinata greeted, crawling out of her tent sleepily, rubbing her eyes. I grinned.
"Yahoo! Today'll be a good day," I predicted, leaping from tree to tree around our clearing on all fours like Akamaru, as was our usual morning routine, "I can tell!" Hinata smiled and giggled, already getting the things together to prepare breakfast. She and Shino watched my antics with amusement.
"Kiba!" Kurenai growled, and I was knocked out of the branches by a projectile pillow. Damn, if I'd known those things could be so solid. What was Kurenai sleeping on, a rock covered in cotton?
"Kurenai-sensei," Hinata murmured, "It is the time that you requested Kiba-kun woke us..."
"I know that!" Kurenai grumbled crossly, emerging from her tent, tugging a hand through her unruly morning-hair. "And damn it all to hell if you think today's going to be a good day!" she shouted at me. I grinned and threw her pillow back at her, and it caught her full on in the face.
I laughed and rejoined Akamaru in the trees.
"Why do you think that it will not be a good day?" Shino inquired, stepping out of the way of Akamaru's dynamic marking, as he had expected it.
I swear, one of these days we'll get him.
"Because Kiba is loud and obnoxious and I have to spend two more days with him!" Kurenai complained, digging a brush out of her messy pack and dragging it through her hair. I stuck my tongue out at her.
"Yeah, but I gotto deal with your and your crankiness for two whole days!" I shouted back.
"Shut your trap!" she ordered.
"Fine!" I said.
"Fine!" she answered, sitting next to Hinata who by then had a fire going.
"Ne, Hinata, I want bacon!" I announced, springing from the trees and landing with a flip nearby.
"I'm sorry, Kiba-kun," she said, stoking the flames a bit, "We don't have any bacon..."
"Awe, that sucks," I muttered, plopping down to her right, making especially sure to keep her between me and Kurenai. Shino walked over, but remained standing to my right. Akamaru was still playing.
"Stop complaining," Kurenai ordered, tossing her brush in the general direction of her pack, which was messier than mine.
I think I've been picking up too many habits from Shino.
Breakfast was served and eaten, then the tents were packed away, and we began the last leg of our trek. Being as excited as I was for the good day ahead of us, everyone was walking excruciatingly slow, so Akamaru and I took to the trees, whooping and hollering.
Which, of course, only served to aggravate Kurenai further, but that was entirely my point.
- - -
THE VILLAGE WE were going to was a lot smaller than I had imagined. I counted a total of seven buildings, five adults, three children, a cat, and two rats from the entrance, which didn't have a gate, to one of only two inns in the entire place.
All this counting was a by-product of my boredom, due to excruciatingly slow teammates.
Confound my energy.
I relayed these numbers to Shino, but the only reaction I got was a quirked eyebrow. Booring!
What does a guy have to do to get some action in his life?
The counter lady at the inn did give me some amusement, as I noticed that she wore a wig, which smelled strangely of horses. I would have relayed this to Shino then, too, but Kurenai elbowed me in the ribs.
I guess she was still pretty mad.
Our rooms were small, kinda like everything else in the town, and Shino and I had to share. Nothing new, except there was only one bed. I debated whether or not I should offer to take the chair or something, but Shino simply unrolled his sleeping mat from his pack and spread it out across the floor.
No arguments, then. I'd kinda wanted the bed, anyways.
"Hey, Shino," I began conversationally, "Wasn't that counter-lady weird?"
Shino stopped his unrolling; "She was strange. Did you see how much make-up she wore?"
"Huh. No, I didn't," I frowned, "I was thinkin' that her hair smelled like horses and was fake."
"That is quite possible," he agreed, returning to his sleeping-bag, "I thought there was too much there for it to be real."
I laughed, catching the subtle humor of it that he probably hadn't even intended to put there at all, "Yeah."
Someone knocked at the door connecting our room to the girls' one.
"Yes?" Shino answered and I stood to open it.
"It's Kurenai, open the door," our leader announced, banging a few more times.
"I'm coming, I'm coming! Yeesh!" I said exasperatedly, letting her in. She glared at me as she stalked through, closely followed by Hinata, who gave me an apologetic smile which I waved away.
Whatever, it was just Kurenai- who cared what she said?
"All right, everyone take a seat," Kurenai announced, "I'm going to do a final briefing on our mission tonight."
We all settled onto the bed.
God, I hate briefings.
"An hour before dusk we will go to meet the client about his disappearing equine," she explained, "He will give us the details and we will lie in wait for whatever is picking them off, capture it, and either kill it or take it elsewhere and release it. Simple. You all got that- Kiba?"
"Hey! Don't give me that," I whined, "I know what to do!"
She sighed, "Right. Hinata? Keep an eye on these two ruffians."
"I don't suppose they'll need it, but I'll do my best, Kurenai-sensei," she answered, blushing. I rolled my eyes.
"What are we to do until dusk?" Shino inquired. I tipped my head; he had a point. Dusk was at least four hours away. What was there to do until then?
"Whatever you want," she shrugged, "Just don't get in trouble or rack up a bill. I'm not paying, this time." She pointedly glared at me and I gave her my un-readable grin. She grumbled under her breath and left, slamming the door behind her.
"I assume 'don't get in trouble' includes being an unobtrusive as possible," Shino commented offhandedly, though I knew it was directed at me.
"And slamming the door like that was unobtrusive?" I shot back. He paused, then tilted his head to one side as if unsure of how to classify our teacher's door slamming. I scoffed and got up.
"Well, I'm going to explore!" I announced, "Anyone with me?"
"I'll come," Hinata said, joining me in standing. We stared Shino down until he almost squirmed.
He sighed, "I suppose someone has to be there to monitor you two..."
I grinned; "Naw, Kurenai-sensei gave that job to Hinata!"
She smiled, "It's okay if Shino-kun wants to be the monitor. I don't mind."
"Suit yourself," I said flippantly. Shino was already partway out the door, so I had to stop there to follow him, Hinata close behind me.
For being so reluctant to explore, he sure did get out of the room fast.
- - -
I DIDN'T NOTICE it at first, but after wandering around the town for a bit with Hinata and Shino I realized it had a funny smell.
"You guys smell that?" I asked, sniffing.
"Kiba, you know we can't," Shino said. I shrugged, sniffing a bit more.
"I was just wondering if it really was a strong as it seems... huh."
"What does it smell like?" Hinata asked. I sniffed a few more times.
"Kinda like... oh, duh!" I smacked myself in the forehead. "It smells like horses. Kinda."
"Maybe everyone here is a breeder, like our client?" Hinata suggested.
"I doubt that," Shino said, "but it is likely that they all have close affinities with horses."
"Yeah, yeah, I get it," I drawled, rolling my eyes. Hinata giggled and Shino frowned behind his collar. I spied a tea house and pointed it out. "Hey, let's have dinner there," I exclaimed, "tab's on Kurenai!!"
"Ah- Kiba-kun-" Hinata began, but I was already running toward the restaurant. She sighed.
"Do not worry," Shino informed her, "Kurenai will deduct it from his payment when we get back to Konoha."
She laughed and they followed me.
The inside of the shop wasn't as plain as the outside of the building, but it wasn't particularly nice, either. In fact, it was pretty dingy, even by my standards. It was made up to be old-fashioned, with low tables and pillows for kneeling and geisha swirling about with cups and dishes. The dim lanterns swung and the air was thick and heavy.
Apparently, this place was the center of the life of the city, as there were a good amount of people and lots of noise there.
I was satisfied.
"It's too noisy, Kiba," Shino stated, "Let's find somewhere else."
"Awe, but Shino!" I pouted. He always found something to complain about.
"I'm kind of interested in the tea here," Hinata mumbled. Shino looked at her, then sighed, adjusted his glasses, and flagged down a geisha.
"Party of three," he said. She nodded.
"Right this way," she replied with a smile. I surreptitiously sniffed.
"Hey, Shino, her hair smells like horses, too," I whispered when her back was turned. Shino snorted.
"This whole town smells like horses," he answered, "according to you. Why are you surprised?"
I gritted my teeth; "Shut up. I was just... I dunno. It's different, kinda."
"Thankyou," Hinata said as we were seated, me and Shino on one side, Hinata on the other. I picked up the menu and Hinata mimicked.
Shino appeared as though he wasn't going to order. I rolled my eyes.
"What do ya gotta complain about, now?" I asked.
He always had some kind of problem with the places I picked to eat at, even Ichiraku's. There was always something he didn't quite like.
"Kiba," he murmured, chin tucked deep into his collar, "This is a drug house. There is opium in the air. It is... bothering my kikai."
"Oh," I said, startled. The waitress returned.
"We have changed our minds," Shino told her, and both Hinata and I put down our menus. The lady blinked, and I noted that her hair smelled differently than she did.
Another wig.
I tilted my head, considering this fact while Shino and Hinata negotiated a polite, peaceful escape from the tea-drug house, I looked around.
All the geisha wore wigs.
Huh.
I flashed a grin to our waitress before following my friends out of the building. Shino stopped in the street to take a deep breath and Hinata ran her fingers through her hair, fidgeting.
"Now where will we eat?" she asked. I shrugged.
"It's a little too late to eat now, anyways," I observed, shading my eyes as I squinted up at the sinking sun, "We'll have to go without. That sucks."
Shino cleared his throat. "The client's ranch is this way," he explained, hands in his pockets as he trudged away. I could discern a finite line of tension in his shoulders.
There goes the first chapter! Please have patience with me... it will probably be about another chapter or two before I get to the real plot. This is just... kinda setting it up, but not really.
It's a twist in the plot before the plot even starts; I guess is one way to say it.