It's a jungle in there
Summary: Qui-Gon has a new hobby. Obi-Wan isn't pleased.
Rating: G. Silly humor. Pre-TPM. Obi-Wan is 14.
Timeframe: Jedi Apprentice. Obi-Wan is 14
Disclaimer: I do not Qui-Gon Jinn or Bant or Obi-Wan Kenobi or the Star Wars concept; Lucasfilm and Jude Watson do. I am very respectfully borrowing them with no intent to profit. No credits have changed hands. No copyright infringement is intended.
"Bant, I don't know what I'm going to do."
Obi-Wan Kenobi glanced at his best friend, a woebegone expression on his young face, and then stared at the floor. He slouched forward, leaning into the wall outside his quarters, arms crossed, one foot digging into the carpeting. He shook his head, dejected, almost sulking.
"Why, what's wrong, Obi-Wan?" Bant gazed at him with some trepidation. He was now fourteen, an angst-driven teenager and prone to flagrant exaggeration. Everything, absolutely everything was a major catastrophe. Bant sighed slowly and thought, Obi-Wan, just once, try not to turn it, whatever it is, into a galactic crisis.
"It's Master Qui-Gon. He's driving me crazy."
Bant rolled her eyes and giggled. "Again?"
The young Padawan glanced up quickly, looking at his friend as though she had stabbed him in the heart. He gritted his teeth and hissed, "I'm serious, Bant. He's at it again."
Bant tried to school her expression into a more understanding demeanor, but she was desperately trying not to burst into a full-blown laugh. Obi-Wan could be so...so dramatic at times.
"Why, what has Master Qui-Gon done now?"
"He has a new hobby."
At that, Bant did burst out laughing. Qui-Gon Jinn was famous, or should it be said infamous, for his unusual hobbies. In the short time that she had known him, Master Jinn had gone through slug painting, rope sculpture, Dagabohan music, mold growing, and exotic dancing, to name a few. With each new hobby, Obi-Wan became more and more embarrassed about his Master's activities. The Padawan took it almost as a personal affront to his youthful dignity.
Obi-Wan growled, teeth tightly clenched, "Bant, you're not helping here."
She tried to stop laughing, but it was increasingly difficult, especially with the look on his face. At last, Bant was able to stop, but, at the back of her throat, the giggles still lurked.
"Obi-Wan, I'm sorry. I'll try to be calm about this..." She snickered briefly. "Okay, what is Master Jinn up to now?"
"He's...he's...he's..."
"Well, out with it."
"He's gardening."
Bant burst out laughing again. "Finally, a normal hobby..." Still giggling, she asked, "What's... wrong with gardening?"
Obi-Wan rolled his eyes, a help-me-please look on his unhappy face. "It's not the gardening that's the problem. It's how he has gone about it. You have no idea."
Bant shook her head. Obi-Wan was just so... entertaining. She knew he took everything far too seriously and even the simplest of problems became a universe-shattering experience. Him and his tormented teenage tribulations. She looked at him with affection and tried not to smirk.
"All right, tell me what is wrong."
"Last month, he filled up his room with plants, all kinds of plants. Okay, I can deal with that. It is his room, after all and it was a relief for Master Qui-Gon to have a normal hobby at last. Finally...finally, I wouldn't be embarrassed." He paused and dug his boot deeper into the carpet. "But he found more plants. His room was overflowing so much that, by the second week, the kitchen and the refresher went green. I can hardly take a shower without the plants stabbing me from all sides."
"Did he stop there?"
Obi-Wan growled and spoke distinctly, emphasis on every word, annoyed beyond belief, "No... he... did... not... stop... there."
"Well...?"
"Last week, he put in a fish pond and waterfall in the sitting area."
"Sounds wonderful."
"Sure, you'd think so. But then he stocked it with frogs and more plants."
"Obi-Wan..."
He interrupted impatiently. "If that wasn't enough, he brought in even more plants. Bant, he took out our comfy couch and put in a stone bench!" He covered his face with his hands in embarrassment. He mumbled "It gets worse. Master put in a misting system and additional lights for the plants' health."
He stopped, shaking his head. "And, last week, I can't believe this...last week, he took out the carpeting and put in moss!"
Bant started to giggle again but settled down when Obi-Wan sent her a withering stare.
"I don't know what to do. I'm surrounded by shrubbery, it's always damp and it...it...smells. The frogs croak all night. I haven't gotten any sleep and... and it gets worse."
"How much worse can it get?"
"Bant, he...he wants to put plants in my room." Obi-Wan's voice was filled with horror.
She started to giggle again but Obi-Wan sent her an indignant look. "Okay, okay, I'll try to stop..." Bant chuckled, "Breathe, breathe..." Her face contorted with the effort not to laugh. "Okay, I think I have it under control. So what did you tell him?"
"At first, I said absolutely not. And Master looked so hurt that I relented. What a fool I am. I told him that he could put one, only one plant in my room."
"So what plant did he put in there?"
"I don't know yet. I haven't been back since I told him this morning. What am I going to do? What if the plant is huge? What if it walks or talks or I'm allergic or it stabs me with its pointy fronds?" His voice was getting more and more hysterical.
She smiled at him and patted his arm. "Calm down, Obi-Wan. I'm sure Master Jinn is mindful of your space and will do the right thing."
"Yeah, sure, Bant." He didn't look as though he believed it possible but she might be right. He took a deep breath and straightened up. He gave his friend a baleful glance and then a short nod.
"Guess I better get it over with."
Bant smiled, patted his shoulder and shook him slightly. "It will be fine. If not, you can stay with me and my Master."
"Thanks. Wish me luck."
And with that, Obi-Wan Kenobi stepped forward and opened the door to his quarters. Several palm fronds danced into the hallway and the sound of frogs echoed in the space. Bant's eyes grew wide. She had assumed that Obi-Wan was exaggerating ...again.
Perhaps not. She glanced into the apartment. There were plants everywhere, so many that she could not see the far wall of the sitting room and the floor was green with soft moss. Oh, dear, maybe Obi-Wan wasn't embellishing this time.
Bant stepped back and let the door slide shut. Hummm, maybe I'd better set up the couch just in case Obi needs somewhere to sleep tonight. Boy, for once, he wasn't imagining it. It's a jungle in there! She shook her head, giggling, as she started back towards her quarters.
Meanwhile, Obi-Wan was slowly pushing his way through the undergrowth towards his room.
"Master, I'm back. Master..." And he then stopped, stunned at the sight. Obi-Wan was horrified.
"Master, what have you done? I said one plant!"
Master Qui-Gon was grinning, waving his arm proudly towards the foliage. "But Obi-Wan, it is just a small Wroshyr tree from Kashyyyk. Isn't it a beauty?"
"It fills my whole room! Where am I going to sleep?"
"In the hammock I've set up for you in the tree."
"Noooooooooooo!"
The end.