Alright, before it starts, I'd like to point out that this was written purposely to sound like a cliche 'once upon a time' style. Just an FYI
LET THE CRACK BEGIN!
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Gilbert was walking home when he first got the text from America.
From: The Idiot
dude omg you have 2 c this. iggys. LMAO!
Recieved: 4:08 pm
Prussia bypassed his house to go to the requested destination. He smirked as he texted back:
To: The Idiot
y?
Sent: 4:10 pm
From: The Idiot
just... just get here. cant breathe lmfaosb!
Recieved: 4:13 pm
He shrugged to himself, resigning to walk the extra block. When he was in sight of the house, he realized the twenty-some cars parked in the driveway and along the street.
"What the hell?" Gil said to himself, taking the steps to the house two at a time. He let himself in without knocking, and heard commotion in England's living room. Moving into said room, he found a very odd sight:
Enland and Norway were sitting across from each other at a small round table, each sitting in a fluffy armchair. In front of each were their respective laptops, which they stared at unblinkingly, slamming only two keys. Surrounding them were most of the other nations, cheering on one of the two, or, in Italy's case, both.
Prussia went over to where America was cheering on Arthur. "Dude, what the hell?" He repeated his earlier thought aloud.
Alfred stopped his pep-talk to grin at the albino. "Iggy and Niklas are having a contest to see who can get a higher score on Robot Unicorn Attack. Iggy's using the original version, but Norway basically told him that the Heavy Metal version kicked more ass."
And so America went on the explain the rules the two battling nations had set up: The fight would last twenty-four hours. (They were down to the final two.) They had set specific eating and bathroom breaks that they would both take at the same time. Either could sleep if he wished, but neither had had so much as a wink since they started yesterday evening. Gilbert could see the dark circles indicating fatigue under their eyes.
"Dude, that is so awesome. Not as awesome as me, of course, but, you know. I'm going to go with Norway on this one. Heavy Metal does kick ass, unlike that pansy version."
America looked at him very calmly and said: "It's a game with unicorns. They're both pansies."
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By the time the contest was in the last five minutes, Prussia and Hungary had set up a betting pool. The bets were pretty even, with England leading by just fifty euros. Everyone began chanting the countdown:
"Six... five... four... three... two... one... DONE!"
"Hands off the keyboards!" Hungary proclaimed, slamming her hands down on the table. Both England and Norway held their hands in the air above their heads. She nodded to Canada and Switzerland, neither of which had placed any bets or seemed to have any interest in the game at all.
Switzerland looked at England's top score. "115,057."
"Holy shit, I can't even get past fifty thousand!" America rubbed the back of his head.
Everyone held their breath as Canada read off Norway's top score. "Um... 117,235."
"Bloody fucking hell!" England let out a long string of curses that ended with a huge yawn.
Norway smirked at him through a yawn of his own as he said:
"Wasn't it obvious? Trolls beat flying bunnies any day."
And then everyone died of shock because that was the most emotional sentence Norway had ever spoken in his entire life.
The End.
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Author's Note:
Okay, no clue where THAT came from. Hope you enjoyed the pure, mindless crack!
Reviewers will get imaginary brownies that were NOT cooked by England!