THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN SOMEONE ASKS ME TO TELL THEM A BEDTIME STORY AT 2 IN THE MORNING.

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia or its characters...or some of these jokes.

Once upon a time, there was a young bird, a chick to be exact, who had no name. Because of this, it was a sad little chick.

But these things change, as all things do in the presence of awesome albinos. This particular awesome albino was the super special awesome ultra sexy Gilbert Beilschmidt, who represented the awesome German state of Prussia.

He strolled along, being his usual awesome self.

Then he and the chick laid eyes on each other.

...it was love. Love at first sight. Prussia knew this feeling because he had felt it so many times before, while checking himself out in the mirror.

He swept the little chick up into his loving hands, and immediately proposed. The chick, never having seen such an awesome person before, immediately said yes. It was so beautiful, all the other nations watching immediately cried tears of beautifulness.

They immediately had the wedding right there because that's what awesome people do. They have weddings right where they propose. And yeah, a priest was totally there because Prussia was super-prepared. He had the intuition of a young Light Yagami.

The wedding was just as beautiful and awesome, if not more beautiful and awesome, as the proposal had been. Not only that, it was sexy, and Francis, as a result, shed many tears. Hungary also shed tears because her dreams of pairing up Prussia with her ex-husband Austria were all ruined. Austria also shed tears because he was not the pianist. Prussia and the chick had specifically hired a metal rock band to play at their wedding. At short notice. Yeah, they were that awesome the band just had to play for them.

Prussia turned to the chick, manly tears in his awesome red eyes when the priest asked him if he would take the chick to be his lawfully wedded bride.

"Ja. I do. I've never loved anyone more in my entire awesome life, except myself," he said, with assurance.

The chick, the priest, and everyone else were extremely moved by his words.

The priest turned to the chick just as Prussia had, only in a less awesome way. "And do you-...err, what is your name?"

A gasp rippled through the audience like a fart ripples through your butt cheeks. They did not realize up until now that the chick had no name. The chick felt embarrassed. Was it unworthy for Prussia's awesomeness with its lack of a name? Heck, they didn't even know if it was a girl or a boy.

But no worries. Gilbert, in all his albino awesomeness, swept up the chick in a very romantic manner.

"Its name shall be Gilbird," he announced with affirmation. Everyone, including Germany, burst into tears because it was such a beautiful name.

Gilbird, in that moment, knew that it would love Prussia forever.

And so they got married, and Gilbird was a happy chick.

But one day, Prussia cheated on Gilbird with himself.

Things were never the same.

So...yeah. OTL

*gets killed for horrible horrible writing*