221B What would you say if I told you

by I said dangerous

The first line is was a prompt from musingsofone dot tumblr dot com. I decided to make it another 221B challenge! Fun to see how you can still understand such misspelled communication!

John, what would you say if I told you I was completely inebriated?
SH

I'd say have one on me.
JW

I'm quite serius, Jon.
SH

Well then I'd say, it's about time.
JW

bout tim for wat?
SH

About time you proved you are human.
JW

i'm at Dieogjennies, bout to start shinging.
SH

That will go over well.
JW

com get mee.
SH

No.
JW

Y not?
SH

Because, I'm half way through a movie. Mycroft can get you. It's HIS club.
JW

he lft mee her to rot wth thees crankee, aristocrap geezers.
SH

Maybe the geezers would enjoy a good tune. Try Danny Boy.
JW

U will not C me fer a week, if U donut com git mee immeedeeatelee.
SH

Ah, the peace and quiet.
JW

Eye cannoth stnd up, jawnnnn
SH

Are you reciting Shakespeare now?
JW

Nooo jawn. I wnt U
HS

Who's HS?
JW

hly sht its meee!
HS ha ha

Have you fallen out of the chair yet?
JW

wot chr? Lvly crpet thay hav hear
s

You want me to come out in the rain and save your sorry ass from a bunch of silent old men, so you can come home and be sick all over our bathroom?
JW

butt i luv u
s

srry i meen luv ur butt