A/N: Okay, seriously. I don't know where this came from. I don't know if it's even entirely in-character or if it's as entertaining as I think. Let's just go ahead and assume this is how things would work if I was calling the shots. It's an AU one parter as of the middle of season two somewhere but I wasn't extremely specific and focuses on Finn/Rachel/Puck friendship with a heavy dose of Finn/Rachel more-than-friendship. I apologize if I greatly offend anyone by knocking the movie version of The Pajama Game. My high school glee club (of which I was a member) did an awesome version of Hernando's Hideaway with graphic enough choreography that we got into trouble—in a couple different senses of the word. As a result, the movie just didn't live up to what I've come to expect with regards to that song.
Disclaimer: I hope you enjoy. I love replies. I own nothing. On with the….show.
Pajama Games
Rachel studied the DVD case in front of her skeptically. She flipped it over for at least the tenth time with a confused scowl on her face.
"Remind me why we're watching this again?" She asked. She looked from Finn to Puck and back to Finn again. They shared a look over her head as they mentally played 'Rock, Paper, Scissors'. Rachel had made no small deal about her dislike of this particular musical over the last twenty minutes since Kurt had showed up with the movie. They were just waiting on the rest of glee club to start watching.
"Shut your piehole, Berry. We've been over this and you're annoying me," Puck said. He yanked the movie out of her hands. "It was Quinn's idea because we're singing a song from it and none of us has heard it. She said it was your fault and we should blame you but she wanted to see the song in context. I'm assuming we're blaming you because that's usually your line."
Rachel leaned back on the couch. She folded her arms against her chest.
"Come on, Rach," Finn started. Puck snickered and desperately tried to cover it with his hand, but Finn flipped him off over Rachel's head. Puck had recently taken to teasing Finn for his 'Rachel voice'-the one that was reserved for calming his girl down when she needed to chill. Puck also joked that he knew as soon as Finn had gotten a 'major piece of Berry pie' because the voice had gotten deeper, smoother and more confident. Finn dropped the arm he'd extended toward Puck before Puck could retaliate by slapping him, and it landed softly on Rachel's shoulders. He expertly rubbed the spot where her neck met her shoulder in a graceful curve. "This thing won a ton of awards and it wasn't that long ago. This is an award winning Broadway play. Think of the possibilities. They could revive it again. You could be in it. This is just studying for your future."
Puck and Rachel shot him nearly identical, what-the-fuck glances. Finn let a snort escape but managed to avoid laughing. He supposed it could be said Rachel and Puck spent too much time together. Other than what Rachel had designated 'one-on-one time' (which made her pretty awesome as a girlfriend because she was so fucking literal about it), they were usually at least a threesome. As the college stuff had started rolling in and the schoolwork had relaxed (junior year had been insane but senior year was shaping up okay), Kurt and Blaine had joined the mix a fair amount. In fact, they would be there this evening and Kurt had just gone upstairs to let the boys from Dalton into the house.
Puck slapped the movie case down on his thigh. "You know, it pains me to say this, but I'm with Berry. I'm gonna need something to make this more tolerable. This sounds like total shit."
"Noah…" she started sharply. She hated it when he swore.
"Oh, shut up. I heard you say 'fuck' two days ago even if you still won't admit it."
"I did not." If it were possible, she tightened her arms even more where they were folded.
"I suppose you also were not an epic fail at playing Halo when you said it." Kurt and Blaine were just headed down the stairs with a couple of other guys from the Warblers they had invited to join the group for the movie as Puck spoke.
"Oh, Rachel, say it ain't so!" Blaine offered dramatically.
Rachel rolled her eyes so hard Finn could've sworn he heard a pop. "It isn't so. Noah is exaggerating—right on schedule."
"All right, all right!" Finn said. He was used to playing mediator between the two. Rachel and Puck walked the fine line of tension between loving and loathing. They were about ten seconds shy of Puck telling Rachel she just needed to catch a puck to the face to help her relax and Rachel grabbing his ear until he yelped like a bitch baby (Rachel's words, by the way, and she had looked the most shocked of all of them when it came out of her mouth). Finn shook his head before he shot a look at Blaine and Kurt.
"Kurt, who else is coming? We need to get the show started."
Kurt nodded. "Well, Brittany, Santana and Artie are just about here because Artie texted me when they left his house. He said we totally want to wait, whatever that means."
"I'm guessing it means we should wait," Puck injected dryly, his voice gruff. Arguing with Rachel always set him on edge.
"Thanks for your observation, as always," Kurt said. He looked over at Finn to continue answering the question. "Mercedes and Tina are helping Mike with some video he has to send for some audition but they'll be here in a little bit." Kurt looked between Rachel and Puck, well aware of their hot-and-cold dynamic. They generally got along and actually enjoyed spending time together, but one of Puck's favorite pastimes was pissing Rachel off. When that happened, it had a tendency to set everyone on edge. "Are we going to be able to hold on that long?"
Finn's hand was still on Rachel's shoulder. At this point he probably would've normally slipped it down to her back to feel the soft fuzz of her sweater, but she was tucked so tightly into the couch he couldn't move so he settled for squeezing at the same spot where his hand had rested. "I think we'll be fine." He looked over at Puck. "Will you go grab…" he trailed off, but he knew Puck knew what he was talking about. Since a crackdown at Casa Puckerman, they had stored their small, illegal liquor supply tucked up into Finn's box springs. Neither Carole or Burt performed the 'raids' Puck's mom did—especially because Carole had found an unlabeled DVD in Finn's room on laundry day, assumed it was porn, and told him she really, really didn't want to know.
He had never bothered to correct her, even though it wasn't porn exactly. He didn't need porn because he had Rachel...and he wasn't going to admit that they had found another use for her video camera once she had taken down her MySpace singing page. Especially not to his mother.
Puck gave one solid nod before he pressed his knuckles into the couch and used the leverage to jump up. Finn looked at Kurt. "And why don't you guys go look at the take out menus and order something? Pizza will work for most of us."
Kurt nodded. "Yes," he agreed. He looked at Rachel. In all the time she had spent over the last couple of years at the Hudson-Hummel residence, he and Rachel had rubbed off on each other somewhat when it came to dinner choices. She had relaxed a little and he had picked up some of her more healthy habits. "How about Thai for you and me?"
Rachel nodded and smiled at Kurt. "That sounds great, Kurt. I think it's my turn to pay. You know where my purse is."
Kurt nodded, but sensing Finn was using these distractions as a way to steal a moment with Rachel and make her unclench, he flipped his head at the other three boys with meaning in his eyes. Blaine was the most familiar with the group and took the signal for what it was; the other two followed his lead.
Finn dropped his head to look at Rachel. "Hey! This is going to be fun if you let it."
Rachel looked up at him, her eyes roaming over his face. "I'm not letting it, am I?"
He leaned forward to press a quick but soft kiss to her lips to take the sting out of his next words. "Not really. Why do you let him get to you?"
She sighed. "I don't know. I accepted long ago that he and I had an antagonistic friendship. And I know that he's mean because it's a reputation he has carefully cultivated so he feels the need to live up to that precedent. It just… it just never fails to…"
Finn's next kiss was warmer, wetter, a little more relaxed as he cut her off. "Shh…."
Rachel pulled back even as her posture slumped and the tension went away. She was just out of reach and he could still feel her lips brushing against his as she talked. "You think it's that easy to shut me up?"
He couldn't fight the smile that spread all the way across his face. "I'm not sure that was exactly the goal." He kissed her again, bringing his free hand across his body to rest on her bare knee. He toyed with the hem of her skirt, knowing her well enough to know they weren't going any further right now just because of all the activity in the house. She had told him once that it was one thing to cut loose when it was just the two of them, and she was finally comfortable doing that at least. But it was another matter entirely for their friends to witness and call them out on it. She had given a long argument for keeping private activities private… come to think of it, that was another time he'd kissed her just to shut her up.
She adjusted her posture to twist toward him and he slipped the hand that had been on her knee around and over her skirt to palm her ass. She moaned a little into the kiss, her tongue pressing a little more insistently into his mouth as she used every single one of her strong abdominal muscles to pull herself entirely off the couch so she could press against him better. At the same time, like any one of their other dance routines, he folded toward her to meet in the middle.
"Whoa!" Came the gruff voice from behind them. "No dry-humping! It makes me too horny and there is no fresh meat here!"
Rachel sank into Finn's hands, the one pressed against her butt and the other splayed across her back. She pulled away from Finn's face without pulling her hands out of his shirt where they had been roaming as much of his bare back as she could get away with. "Is there any fresh meat left in Ohio for you?" She replied, acid in her tone. Finn snorted out a brief laugh before he released her, letting her fall back onto the couch cushions.
"Just you, babe. You're the only ass I haven't tapped yet. We can change that anytime."
Maybe it was a sign she had grown up. Maybe it was a sign Finn's kisses had gone straight to her head and lowered her to Puck's level. Or maybe the degeneration was a result of all the time she spent sparring with him.
"You had your chance, Noah…twice if I'm counting correctly." She left her hand on Finn's arm as she turned a little to eye Puck more directly. In a nod to the secret understanding of incestuous, three-way friendship, she glossed over the memory quickly. They had discussed it all in various combinations a long time ago as briefly and painfully as possible and they never, ever did anymore. They occasionally mentioned it in passing, but it wasn't something they could even laugh about yet. So she went no further.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," He said. He flung himself onto the couch next to her so she was in her usual position between the two boys. He reached right over her to hand Finn the six-pack of beer.
"I'm gonna be so glad when we can drink cold beer again," Finn sighed. He pulled one loose from the plastic carrier and cracked the top. "This is nasty."
Puck shrugged. "Maybe, but it does the job. And beggars can't be choosers."
Rachel looked over at him. "You know, I've been wondering something."
"You usually are," Puck said as he took a pull from the first of what would his hopefully many, many drinks of the evening.
"Is that your philosophy with anything? Because it would certainly explain your last few dates."
Finn managed to turn his head just in time as he snorted and sprayed beer everywhere.
As he did, the room seemed to explode with activity. Kurt, Blaine, and the other two boys came downstairs, followed by Santana, Brittany, and Artie. They all saw Finn struggling not to spill anything, his lanky body forming almost a C-shape as he held the can of beer out and looked down at himself, complete with beer dripping from his nose. Naturally, they all commented on it and laughed at him in their own ways.
Puck looked at Rachel with amused affection and shook his head. He held his beer can out to her, and she leaned down to retrieve her aluminum water bottle from the ground at their feet. She clinked hers against his with a smile. It was the closest they would ever come to a truce.
"That was a good one, Berry. I totally fucking owe you."
She laughed. "Bring it, Noah." She rolled her eyes and looked at the traffic jam coming down the stairs that was watching the three of them with amusement. "Hi, guys!"
There were various replies and it seemed to loosen them up enough that they finished coming into the room. Brittany was dressed in pink pajamas and holding a brown paper bag that looked kind of full.
Mike was behind Artie, and he and Tina were expertly maneuvering Artie's wheelchair down the staircase that was just barely wide enough. Finn would've normally squeezed through to help them, but he was busy excusing himself (and still laughing) to go change his clothes.
"We missed something," Blaine stated plainly. In this group, sometimes missing things was okay. He could never really be sure.
"Berry's just ragging on me like usual," Puck said. He looked over at her with a smirk. "Nothing you haven't seen plenty of before, since she's usually up my ass about something or other."
She rolled her eyes again. "You have such a delightful way with words." As she shook her head, she stood up and crossed the room to take the bag from Brittany.
"Wow, Britt. What's in here?"
"Well, my parents went out of town and left the bar unlocked. So I took everything they don't usually drink. There was something with bananas and some pucker stuff and…I don't know. I figured we could use it at some point during the sleep over."
Rachel looked around at the other people. "What sleep over?"
"Santana said it was a pajama game."
Rachel peeked into the bag delicately. "Well, not exactly. We're watching The Pajama Game but I think if we really drink all this, it might turn into a sleep over." It certainly wouldn't be the first time, and Burt and Carole had proven they didn't mind hosting these kinds of group events—especially because Rachel, as the most detail-oriented member, had gotten really good at hiding the alcohol and staying on the parents' good sides.
Brittany shrugged. "The Pajama Game was the one with the sexy dance me and Mike are supposed to come up with?"
Rachel nodded. She was setting the brown bag down on a curio table as she agreed. "I guess. Schue thinks we could pull off the tango while we sing," Rachel said. Brittany had moved closer and was helping her set bottles out. "I have my doubts."
"Finn's dancing has gotten a lot better. If he's dancing with you, he'll be fine," Brittany said. She held one bottle in particular out to Rachel. "I know you don't usually like to drink with us, but you'll like this."
Finn was approaching and rested his hand on Rachel's back as she flipped the nearly-full bottle over to look at it. "Ninety-Nine Bananas."
"You don't have to drink that," Finn said simply. He kissed the top of her head even as he smiled. "But you might like the movie better if you do."
She laughed and shook her head. "It wouldn't be like me to succumb to such obvious peer-pressure," she commented as she leaned against him. She turned her head a bit and inhaled; he smelled clean, like laundry soap. His shirt was soft and well-worn and she kind of wanted to stay there against him forever.
"Please do!" Puck said, moving behind the couple as he perused what Brittany had brought. Brittany was always good for alcohol because her parents traveled so frequently she was usually unsupervised Her older sister was also both old enough to buy alcohol and such a borderline alcoholic already that her parents assumed her sister was drinking it all. They didn't say anything, her sister restocked the bar, and Brittany would empty it out when she came to another party holding a brown bag with a wide variety of things they couldn't usually swing on their own.
Rachel reached out and squeezed his bicep. "Hey, but if I do someone is going to have to take care of parents." Due to the frequency of his drinking, and thus his tolerance, he was the next best candidate in spite of his immediately obvious irresponsibility.
He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I know. You can't lose favorite status. Fine, whatever. I'm on it." He looked over his shoulder at her and winked. As much as they poked and prodded at one another (not literally), they also were a pretty tight threesome who usually had each other's backs.
"You're actually considering it?" Finn asked, looking at her with surprise on his face. "Really?"
She shrugged. "I guess. You might actually have a point." She went up on tiptoe to kiss his cheek and breathe her flirty comment just for him. "Plus, I really like bananas. You know that."
Finn gulped a little and closed his eyes. She tucked her fingers into the waist band of his pants, the grip providing a little additional balance as she remained on her toes and moved her lips along his cheek, stopping with his ear. He did know that, and he knew that she tried to fucking kill him every time she ate one because she did it slow, and she never really nibbled at it.
"Holy shit, mark this day on the calendar of things you never thought would fucking happen!" Puck said as he held up the half-empty bottle of Jack in the air in celebration. "Rachel Berry just gave someone else credit for something!"
Everyone was fairly used to his outbursts of this nature. They had become more frequent as Rachel had gotten used to the idea of having friends and more aware of interacting with her peers. In short, Puck was more comfortable making fun of her extreme personality traits as she relaxed a little bit. They all cheered with over-exaggerated happiness.
The two guys from Dalton, who Kurt was busy introducing around, looked uncertain but seemed willing enough to participate. The doorbell rang again and Kurt jogged up the stairs to answer the door, leaving Ryan and Kyle to fend for themselves.
Quinn was late with no explanation, as per usual. Although she came to most of the group events, they were awkward for her considering the landmine of ex-boyfriends. So she tended to arrive late and leave early and not say a whole lot in between. Sam's parents demanded he be home every night for family dinner, so when they did stuff like this he was typically a little later as well. Everyone just accepted it and usually started the movies without them.
This time, pizza had arrived before they had started the show. Mercedes ran upstairs and helped Kurt get plates and plastic cups for everyone, and when she returned, Kurt stepped aside to let Rachel know Sam was going to stop at the oriental food restaurant to pick up their order on his way. She nodded her acceptance as she took the plastic cups from his hands and then turned to set them on the table. The one restaurant with any sort of diverse food in Lima barely had any menu options, let alone delivery service. This was all their usual hanging out stuff.
She took one of the blue plastic cups from the stack, balanced the cup and the bottle in her hand to unscrew the lid, and poured a healthy portion of drink in her cup. After she'd put the bottle back on the table, she sniffed the cup's contents experimentally and looked up at Finn with doubt in her eyes.
"Have you ever had this?" She asked.
He shook his head. He reached out to take the cup from her and sniffed at it. "It smells strong." He handed the cup back to her, and his face mirrored the doubt on her own. "Are you sure? I mean, really sure?"
She took a sip of the clear beverage by way of an answer. It tasted like artificial banana flavoring and it burned a little bit, but it wasn't so bad. Brittany was right—she did kind of like it.
"Yeah," she said. She smiled up at him. "It's good. You should try it."
"All right!" Puck said casually as he settled in on his former spot on the couch. "Let's get this piece of shit started!" He looked at Rachel and raised his can of beer toward her in thickly sarcastic deference. "I'm sorry, Berry. Let's get this cinematic masterpiece started!"
She shook her head and moved to sit in her former spot by him, with Finn tagging close behind. Puck had set his beer down and helped himself to a slice of pizza from one of the six boxes that were floating around. He handed Finn a slice of pizza before he passed the box on. Even as he passed, he was taking a huge bite of his double slice that was actually folded slightly and sagging in the middle.
Finn was sitting next to her eating in much the same manner.
She groaned and took a long drink from her cup. "You guys are total pigs. Can I pay you to at least use a napkin?"
Puck, whose mouth was full but pizza was now gone, leered at her as he wiped his hands on his jeans and she grimaced. Kurt was getting the show started on the flatscreen television that was on the wall opposite the sectional couch. Friends were lounging on the floor in the open-ended square shape provided by the couch as Blaine and Mercedes tossed out pillows.
In other words, it really was just another typical Friday night for the members of McKinley High School's glee club and their extended friend-family.
As the credits rolled on the old movie, Santana groaned a little bit. "I can already tell I'm gonna need major incentive to stay awake here. Let's turn this into a drinking game."
"Interesting!" Puck declared, his mouth now barely empty enough to speak.
Rachel was already cringing at the opening number. "I vote we drink every time they're singing off-key." Finn looked at her, unable to speak around his full mouth, but his face clearly amused. Artie actually laughed out loud.
Santana rolled her eyes and looked directly back at Rachel. "And who exactly is judging that?"
Blaine wasn't drinking, but he looked over at her. "I have perfect pitch. I can tell you. And that right there—" he pointed to the screen "—is not on key."
Rachel smiled smugly at Santana. She knew the feisty girl hated the way she had both Puck and Finn wrapped around her finger. And she hadn't even had to sleep with them for that to be the case. She looked over at Finn; well…okay. But it hadn't exactly changed things in his case once she had slept with him because he was devoted before that once he had made up his mind to be. She took a long pull from her cup.
Kurt was looking skeptically at the screen, too. "We could drink whenever we see those god-awful stripes."
Rachel smiled and lifted her cup to her lips again. "I'll drink to that!"
Finn had relaxed as he finished his pizza and was sitting comfortably slouched with his hand on her thigh as he watched skeptically. He shifted to glance at her. "You might want to slow down with that."
She shrugged. She didn't care; while it wasn't public knowledge, she had been drunk with Puck and Finn a couple of times. Given the success of those incidents—meaning she made it home on time with her dads none the wiser and there were no cell phone videos as evidence—she wasn't extremely concerned now. Simply put, she trusted the men sitting on either side of her (and, in fact, she trusted most of the people in the room). It wasn't a feeling she'd come by easily and she wanted the chance to revel in it a little bit.
By the time the song they were singing for glee actually came on, quite late in the show, Puck and Rachel were extremely drunk, followed in a variety of conditions by the other people who were drinking. Thanks to Santana's stellar bartending and pushy demeanor, it was almost everyone. Finn had slowed down his drinking a little bit, more because he was watching Rachel with cautious amusement than anything, but he was still laughing a lot more than normal. Sam had come with Kurt and Rachel's food and they had eaten as much as they were going to; Sam was still getting caught up in terms of alcohol. Quinn was sitting on the couch and watching the chaos that was slowly unfolding with unveiled amusement. She wasn't drinking, but she never did.
They had rehearsed the vocals on the song a couple of times in class, and Rachel quickly picked up the beats in the movie that signaled the beginning of the song that had been the purpose for the entire movie night. She turned to Puck, mostly because he was mid-scoff and Finn had picked up a cold piece of pizza to eat just before. She held her hand out to him insistently and he took it for some reason he would never be able to remember, allowing her to jerk him up off the couch.
Normally, it wasn't something Rachel would've ever done. She was certainly far beyond trying to make Finn jealous, because she was actually secure in their relationship. Mostly, it was just goofing around as she seductively whispered the words, trying to waggle her eyebrows in a way that was so totally over the top it couldn't be construed as even the worst flirting.
I know a dark secluded place…
Quinn and Santana rolled their eyes at Rachel's perfect recall of the lyrics. Of course after two half-assed rehearsals, she would know all the words. And of course she could remember them even if she was slurring them a little bit.
Rachel giggled as she dropped down to her knees, watching the screen carefully to echo the actress' choreography even if she was a beat behind.
A place where no one knows your face…
She ran her hands up his body as she stood and he squirmed a little, watching her with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. She had been giggling and vocalizing her overall dislike for the show, getting more squeaky and less forceful as she drank more. But this was off the charts.
Rachel Berry was fucking lit.
And as she ran her hands over his taut body, there was no denying his reaction. He was too buzzed to try covering it up anyway. He had pulled off his sweatshirt at some other point, so he was left wearing his jeans and white tank top. He was standing (sort of) with his arms folded. It was pretty obvious when his arm muscles tensed up as she passed some pretty critical personal property with her small hands and careless brushing. The girls in the room all knew him well enough to know that meant something else was tensing up, too. They took turns sneaking cautious glances at Finn to see what he would do.
A glass of wine, a fast embrace…it's called Hernando's Hideaway..ole!
Rachel went on tiptoe and kissed Puck's cheek. That seemed to break their trance, and it was only a split second before everyone else in the room was up on their feet and starting to dance sloppily, with some singing along as they remembered the words a little.
"Oh, honestly. This choreography is terrible!" Rachel lamented as Carole Haney thrust her hips toward the actor. She looked back at the screen and had a slightly puzzled expression as she tried to thrust her hips the same, terrible way.
This was about the point Finn pulled out his cell phone and started filming.
Instead of watching the show anymore, Rachel advanced toward Puck and he backed away…half out of fear and half out of respect for his best friend because she had not been discreet as she ran her hands back up his body and he was fucking hard as a rock already.
All you see are silhouettes…and all you hear are castanets.. and no one cares how late it gets… not at. Hernando's. Hideaway. Ole!
Rachel reached for Puck's hand to pretend a tango and he looked at her like she might hurt him.
"Oh, come on." She said, but he continued to pull away. "I'm not going to hurt you."
"Finn might," Kurt muttered. Puck sent Kurt a wary glance before he looked over his shoulder at Finn, who was still filming away, even though he looked less than totally chill about it all. As Rachel would've pointed out, were the room not spinning every time she tried to actually focus on something, his lips had disappeared and that was the first sign he was getting mad.
"Oh, thanks a lot, you jackass," Puck remarked sourly. He noticed Finn's expression and cell phone at about the same time. "Maybe you should get over here and manhandle your woman."
"Manhandle your woman?" Rachel intoned, the words perfectly clear. She was totally unable to keep the smirk off her face. "I'll show you manhandling." Right about the time her hands cupped around Puck's crotch, Mike was there to pull her off with Finn just one step behind him.
Puck breathed a silent sigh of relief. That shit was getting a little dangerous. He would never do anything because he had learned that lesson, but still. He wasn't immune to Rachel's hotness and she wasn't necessarily making it easy on him, either.
"All right, all right," Mike said, taking Rachel's hand and pulling her away to lead her in an expertly danced and clean tango. Puck turned on Finn and yanked the phone out of his hand.
"It's on!" Puck said.
"Yeah, I'm scared," Finn intoned sarcastically.
Although Puck was quicker because Finn was ganglier, Finn had the advantage of being slightly more athletic and slightly less drunk. He sprung away from his friend and assumed the stance.
Although the room was in total chaos, Puck caught sight of Rachel and Mike dancing out of the corner of his eye; Rachel was trying to grab Mike's ass.
"Dude, we'll do this later." He stood up straight. "I think you need to go get Rachel before Tina goes all cage-fighter on her."
Finn looked over to where Rachel was trying to close the gap Mike had been comfortably holding between them. She was laughing and prodding a little with the voice that made him do just about anything. "Come on," she said, dragging the words out. In addition to being irritated that she was flirting all over the place, he felt a little sorry for Mike. He totally understood how much power that voice could have.
Finn nodded once and strode away from his play fight with Puck to tap Rachel on the shoulder.
"Okay, that's about enough, Rachel," he said sternly.
"Are you manhandling me?" She asked. She squeezed her eyes shut tight as she spun on him. He thought maybe she was trying to sound annoyed but it totally wasn't working. Mike mouthed his thanks at Finn and Finn gave a slight nod.
"No," he said. He reached out and grabbed her elbow to lead her out of the main area in the basement and down the small hallway toward his bedroom. "This would be manhandling you." His voice dropped down to almost a hiss. "You're totally gonna regret this tomorrow, you know."
She had spun on the spot and stumbled backward into his room. As she recovered a little from the stumble, she bit her lip and crooked a finger at him.
His lips were still missing as he blinked and huffed out his own frustration. "Rachel…"
She was still using the same breathy, slightly squeaky, and totally unfair girly voice as she altered her earlier words to Mike. "Come here."
There was something else in her voice now and he shook his head. Whatever that little purr was turned him on and goddamn it, he was mad… why couldn't he resist her? Totally unfair.
He shook his head. The two other times she'd been drunk, she wasn't nearly this toasted and she had fallen asleep. He'd had to fireman-carry her up to her room, plus avoid waking up her dads. He really didn't know what she was going to do right now, and when he couldn't predict her next actions it usually meant trouble. "No."
She kept walking unsteadily backwards, bit her lip again and looked up at him with those eyes.
"Rachel," he said, his voice edged with a hard line of anger. "Knock it off."
She had reached his bed and rather gracelessly tripped, dropping hard on the mattress and bouncing once before she leaned back onto her palms. The cardigan she was wearing fell open and away from her body. What? He was her adoring boyfriend; he couldn't help it if his eyes dropped to her boobs, even if he was mad. She was breathing a little hard and they were just, like, right there.
He shook his head again and squeezed his eyes shut. "You shouldn't have done that to Puck. Think about it for a second. Were you trying to piss me off?" His hands were in fists at his sides as he stepped into his room and he closed the door with a small slam behind him.
"No," she said. "Come here." She dropped first one shoulder, then the other; her sweater fell away from her body entirely and she pulled her hands out of the lowered sleeves, leaving her there in just the tiny tank top she had been wearing underneath. He could see a sliver of her toned stomach where it had ridden up as she leaned back. He licked his lips and then shook his head. He set his jaw.
"No."
She relaxed her knees a little bit. Her skirt was sitting high on her thighs as it was and it crept up a little more. He groaned. Anger was turning to something else entirely. There was no way he was going to be able to fight it out with her.
"Finn," she said, raising her eyebrows as she dropped her chin against her chest. "I already know you're going to come over here and do naughty things to me. Do you want me to beg or what?"
She bit her lip again. It took him three quick strides, losing the striped rugby shirt he was wearing along the way, to get to her. She tipped backwards on the bed, letting him rest on top of her, and she laughed.
"Rach, you really kinda pissed me off."
"I'm sorry. I was just dancing," she defended, the normal force gone from her voice as her eyes smoothed over his face. "I didn't mean to get carried away. I'm not sure what's gotten into me." She had been busy fumbling with the button on his jeans and he felt it give. She emitted a little squeak. "Oops. How did that happen?"
He rolled his eyes and shook his head. She was so cute. "Brittany's banana stuff is what's gotten into you. You're so drunk." Damn—that sounded a little dirty.
"Are you complaining?" She asked. She traced her tongue along the curl in his earlobe and then scraped her teeth lightly over his heated skin. He knew for a fact his ears turned red when he got turned on, and it felt like they were flaming after she pulled her mouth away. Her fingers threaded through his hair, brushing up the back of his neck on their way, and as she curled her hands closed to tug, he thrust his hips toward her.
"You should call the girl from the movie because that's the sexy way to thrust," she said. As she raised her feet to use them to drag his pants down over his hips, he lowered his head to lick along her collarbone.
"What?" He asked; he was doing something seriously wrong if she was underneath him and still thinking about the movie.
"Huh?" She asked. She reached her hands up to cup his cheeks in her hands so she could place a wet, warm kiss right on his lips. As she sucked on the bottom lip, he caught a hint of the banana flavor from her drink and all of a sudden, all he could think about was tasting more of it. He slid his tongue into her mouth, surprised with the insistent way she pressed back. As they continued to deepen their kisses, their bodies rubbed against each other and they both lost track of time and place.
By the time they backed away from one another, her skirt was wrapped around her waist and he had her handprints squeezed into his bare ass cheeks. Their lips were swollen and a little bruised and they looked over each other with glazed eyes.
"We should probably get back out there," he said breathlessly, his heart pounding like it might come right out of his chest. She murmured something he couldn't understand but shook her head 'no' at the same time. "Come on. We can't do this when everyone else is here."
"Why?" She asked. "Come on; we know they've all done it before." She gave a little giggle. "Some of them have probably even done it in your bed."
He frowned. "You think so? That's kind of gross."
She looked at him. "I change your sheets once a week. It doesn't matter."
He pulled back and looked at her seriously. "Wait… really?"
She smiled. "Well, I figured you weren't going to do it. Look how right I was."
He laughed and shook his head. "You're always right."
"Tell me more," she said, her voice returning to that low and throaty purr he loved. "Or maybe show me." She gave a little wiggle that made him feel like maybe he was going to die (or explode), and her underwear were gone.
He flashed a cocky little smile at her; he knew exactly what she was after. "Maybe I will." He slid down, dropping his knees to the floor and then grabbing her, palming both hands under her ass to drag her right to the edge of the bed. He turned his head to press a kiss to the inside of her thigh; fuck, even that was already wet.
"Please?" She asked and demanded in that voice—the one he just had to obey because he was, in Puck's words, 'so fucking whipped'.
Puck's ears heard the tone of the cry from the other room, even over all the noise of the drunken, dancing, singing friends around him. That was about the time he realized that Finn and Rachel were still gone.
"No…fucking…way." He gasped. He looked down at Finn's phone, still in his hands. He'd felt a little bad for swatting it away (not bad enough that he hadn't already deleted the video his friend took) and had plucked it up from under the couch with the intention of returning it. Instead… he smiled.
Payback was one mother-fucking bitch, now wasn't it?
And that's how it came to be that Rachel's voice, screaming Finn's name deep in the middle of an orgasm, barely muffled by sound of the closed door, got set as Finn's ringtone and why they spent Monday afternoon in the principal's office—in huge fucking trouble—after his phone "accidentally" rang in class with the volume turned up to full-blast.