Author's Note:

Zootopia is not my property, but boy, I do truly wish I could have helped make this awesome movie.

A sincere thank you to my fellow writer Zach for being a beta reader/ proofreader/ characterization checker for this fic. He knows as well as me that I love to write, but that I'm afraid I write poorly. I suppose that's the Writer's Wreckage. I do believe he helped make this fic better than I envisioned, so kudos to a wonderful person!

This will be a three-shot fic, by the by. Mostly because I wrote a bit too much for even a long one-shot. That's how I roll~. But it's more meant to be seen as one (very long) situation, so for any stragglers, if the other parts are up when you are reading this, consider reading them in one go.

This fic isn't really a strong T, I feel. Especially not this chapter. But I'd rather play it safe than roll the dice only to get snake eyes, you know?

Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy the story. :)

Chapter One: And So It Begins

One would be a liar if they said Nick Wilde didn't find bizarre pleasure from the ordeals of other creatures.

Of course he had to concede that for a large portion of his life, deception was integrated into his persona. His lies were often the catalyst for other people's issues, or at least, his lies didn't make things easier on others. Lying was his thing, and boy, was he a master at it. Even now, as a law enforcement officer for the Zootopia Police Department, he often sought inconsequential scruples with fellow workers just through methods of snark and puns. Clawhauser positively adored these antics; Bogo was less patient and accommodating for the punchline to arrive. Nick never saw it necessary to desist, though. Messing with someone else's head was just a pleasurable experience.

Judy knew this aspect about her foxy partner all too well. When he had started working at the station alongside her, she would often tell him to knock it off whenever he was being too instigative. Of course, Nick never knocked it off. After a few weeks, Judy began retaliating with her own calculated comments or gentle attacks that only a bunny could pull off. On duty or off, she was always showing her familiarity with Nick's personality. She didn't back down from him.

And Nick had to give credit where it was due: Judy was a clever bunny. Remarkably clever. She sometimes knew more than he did!

Nick, however, knew that Judy was woefully unfamiliar with the world outside of work. Not necessarily with the city of Zootopia. Although, he would argue, she had such lame interests in spite of the scope of the world the two of them had explored and returned to before dinner.

No, Judy's problems rested with her social abilities. She never seemed to do anything outside of sleep, eat, and work. It was a perplexing situation for Nick.

Little did he know her first Zootopian social outing would be with him.

It was a Friday afternoon. Nick didn't even need to check his phone, though he had for the sake of dumb internet videos. The entire station was showing signs of eagerness to leave and finally have some non-threatening fun.

He was not expecting Judy to be one of the antsy folks that night.

Nick knew she made noises when she was contemplative. That's what she always did whenever she drove the ZPD Meter Maid Mobile (a title that Nick repeatedly said because it sounded funny) or was stuck indoors with files to fill. She probably felt she was being quiet, or perhaps it was him being accustomed to her verbal nuances. Either way, he knew she wasn't all pleasantries right then.

He peered over the bunny whose leg was slightly stamping her foot onto the ground. Her ears were slightly drooped as she read over a non urgent document.

"Hey, Carrots."

She did not respond.

"Carrots."

Still no acknowledgement.

Slightly annoyed, Nick took his pen, stretched his arm closer to her, and poked the back of her neck with the cap end.

Judy shrieked, her papers shuffling in the air. The bunny landed on the ground on top of several documents.

"Carrots," he repeated nonchalantly. He peered over the back of his chair down to where she fell.

"Nick!" She looked up, her mouth ajar. "What is your deal?"

"I should be asking you that." He hugged the back of his chair. "You look like you drank a bucket of espresso."

She perked up her ears as she cleaned up her loose papers. "Huh?"

"What's up?"

"I'm just—" Judy exhaled a deep breath. She placed the papers on her desk and stroked the fur on her head. "Frustrated at all this paperwork we need to do."

Nick knew she much preferred the fast paced action that being a cop brought. But she was being way too invested. It was quite silly to be this overwhelmed by paperwork that didn't really have imperative deadlines, Nick thought.

"You need to take it easy, Carrots," he said to her.

He heard her scoff at her spot. "Yeah, Nick, I need to take it easy. I also 'need' a jacuzzi and a penthouse."

He looked confused. "None of those are bad things." He held out his paw in acknowledgement. "But no, I think you need to have some fun, for once in your life."

"Now is not the time for fun," Judy said plainly.

"Just like in your whole life?"

She shot him an aghast look. "That's not true!" she pouted.

"Then enlighten me." Nick propped his head on an elbow. "What does Officer Hopps do for fun when she is off duty?"

"Well, I'm working on a book by Fauna Nightquest, and—"

He slowly blunk.

"Reading is fun!" she protested.

"Anything else?"

She said nothing for a few seconds, only reaffirming Nick's suspicion that she didn't do much outside of work.

He heard her fingers snap repeatedly as she said, "I like to watch Hank Greebe videos. Last week I saw the one where Hank talked about the weird thing with words, how there's actually a word for something that doesn't have it's own word." She was smiling readily, looking quite invested about the contents of a dictionary. "And I mean, isn't it weird how some things don't have a word? Logically, every object and place and thing should have at least one word to-"

"Yeah, Carrots," he interrupted. He had seen that video already. "Watching videos doesn't count either."

She smugly folded her arms and crossed her legs. "But you always watch those dumb prank videos whenever you are bored with the paperwork. You even said how much you'd like to make one of those for April Fools here at the station."

Chief Bogo, who happened to be walking by their cubicles, slowed his pace and gave a stern gaze to the fox.

Nick shot his boss a toothy grin. "H-hey there Chief! Just…" Nick patted the papers on his desk. "Just getting the last of today's work done." Nick looked up awkwardly. He could tell Judy was trying not to laugh behind his craned neck.

Bogo stood there watching Nick for another second before snorting and walking away.

Once the buffalo was back in his own office, Nick glared back at a still smirking Judy. "Yeah, I do that to pass the time," Nick said in a bit of a whisper. "But what I do for fun, well…" He placed his back against the chair and pressed his paw pads against each other. With a cocky grin, he said, "Yeah, I don't think I should say, I might blow your mind."

Judy's smirk melted away into a half lidded look of annoyance. She spun her chair to better face him. "Then what are you doing tomorrow tonight?"

He shrugged. "Well, sadly, no one has made plans with me this week." He made a paw wave. "I've been snubbed."

"That's great!" Judy chimed in, her ears perking up as high as her voice just had.

Nick twitched his mouth in a confused manner.

Judy gave an awkward smile. "I mean … me too!"

He looked to the side of the room, a smug expression filling his face. He shook this off when he returned his attention to her. "Why do you ask, anyway?" He swiveled in his seat and began shuffling his papers into a properly ordered pile.

Behind his back, he heard her sigh. She quickly and softly said, "Would you like to hang out with me?"

Nick stuttered. He was not unfamiliar with the idea of hanging out. But he knew all too well, from past awkwardness, that a girl saying she wants to "hang out" could just as easily mean she wants to go on a date.

He stared back at her. She was biting her lip and glancing down at her lap where her paws were fiddling with each other.

"What did you have in mind?" he asked.

Judy gave a small smile as she raised a finger. She opened her mouth to say something, but then she paused. Her ears drooped slightly. "Yeah, I don't know."

He chuckled to himself. How would she know what to do for a social outing? He could sense she was uncomfortable at the moment. Perhaps she was feeling unprepared. A small part of him wanted to agree to her offer right there and then. A stronger part of him wanted to continue the teasing a little more before complying.

Nick cleared his throat, gathering Judy's attention once again. "I'll need to see if I am free tomorrow tonight."

Judy shot a perplexed look. "But didn't you say—"

Nick pressed an imaginary button on his desk. "Yes, Flower? Cancel all of my appointments tomorrow." He then gave her a coy smile. "I am planning to hang out with a workaholic."

Judy smiled as she said, "I don't always work."

Nick made a drolled out sound. "You're right." Looking at her pride filled face, he continued, "You almost always are working."

"Boo," Judy said, shaking her head. She looked up at Nick. "So, what did you have in mind for tomorrow?"

"I have a place in mind," Nick said plainly.

Judy looked intrigued. "You seem so self-assured."

He smiled as he looked down at her. "Well, I am a clever fox, you know?"