muggle!au, college!au
for the houses comp, year 7, gryffindor [non-canon couple, "how was i supposed to know you were joking?"]
for the bubble bath event, ilvermorny [rose]
for hogwarts: writing club [showtime - you will be found; restriction of the month; a year in entertainment - will and grace; liza's loves]; insane house comp [alscor]; tea challenge [hot date chai]; sticker challenge [emeralds]
for the 101 next gen ships challenge [alscor, "are you gonna kiss me or not"]
thanks to ck, tiggs, and fruits for betaing!
1785 words, by google docs
Albus Potter hates his roommate. Scorpius Malfoy is probably one of the worst people Albus has ever met in his entire life. He doesn't think that Scorpius has cleaned a single room in his entire life, and Albus can't stand it. Of course, Scorpius does come from a wealthy family; he's probably had servants clean everything for him.
Unfortunately, Albus is stuck with Scorpius for the rest of the semester; their college has no mid-semester room changes.
As always, dirty clothes and food wrappers lay all over Scorpius's side of the room when Albus walks in. He has to pass it every time he walks into their room, since Scorpius chose that bed before Albus could. Sighing at the mess of clothes, Albus goes over to his nice and neat bed and opens his laptop.
He may hate Scorpius, but he knows that Hyperion will always listen to him. Hyperion probably keeps his room clean.
Hype is Albus's online friend. He knows the risks of stranger danger, all of that, but Albus isn't going to die from making friends on the internet. Hyperion's not his real name—it's his middle name—but he's explained that it's just because his parents have had bad experiences with the internet and it's made him a little bit scared of putting his real name out there. He swears that one day, one day, they'll meet and Albus will get to know his real name. And yes, Albus hasn't seen Hype's face yet, but Hype hasn't seen Albus's face, either. There seems to never be a good time when the two of them could video call each other, but they promised that they would, someday.
The Skype bubble on Hyperion's profile isn't green, but Albus knows that he has the Skype app and always answers soon, and he types out a message to him, anyway.
Albus: God, I hate my roommate so much.
Soon enough, a message appears at the bottom of the screen: Hyperion is typing…
Hyperion: being messy again?
Albus: All the time. Wish you were my roommate. :P
Hyperion: u sure? im ready 2 move in asap. cept im also p messy warning u h1y
One thing that did bug Albus about Hype was the way he texted, but once they met in real life, they'd probably talk more than text, anyway.
Albus: Did you just replace the 'one' in 'honey' with a '1'? They don't even sound the same, Hype.
Hyperion is typing…
"Fuck you too!"
There's a lot of things that Scorpius hates about going to college, but the awful drivers are really high up on his list. His list also includes things like his super clean roommate, Albus, who is so particular about everything it bugs Scorpius, and the stupidity of his professors.
He would've been fine just being homeschooled like he was for high school, but his parents wanted him to go to a 'real school'.
Real school has idiots about to kill him by mowing him down with their car.
To be fair, he was looking down at his phone and not paying attention to the car around him, but that wasn't his fault, it was Albus's.
Albus—not to be confused with his stupid roommate, Albus—is a friend Scorpius met online. They haven't ever met in real life, but Albus is still Scorpius's closest friend.
His parents would disapprove of him becoming friends with a stranger online, as his father had been the subject of online hate, but Scorpius hasn't even told Albus his real name. He goes by his middle name instead—Hyperion.
Scorpius watches the car that honked at him drive down the road before turning back to his phone, looking at the message that distracted him and made him laugh.
Albus: Did you just replace the 'one' in 'honey' with a '1'? They don't even sound the same, Hype.
Hyperion: ew i almost just got hit by a car i hate these stupid drivers
Hyperion: also w/e u no wat i mean
Hyperion: u also no that i dont like using longhand
Albus: Bloody hell, Hype, don't get hit by a car, please
Albus: Also, I think 'longhand' is the longest word I've ever seen you type, Hype.
Hyperion: aha type hype
Scorpius grins at his phone, probably looking stupid to everyone around him. His fingers linger over the keys as he considers a crazy idea he's had in his mind for a while. He really likes Albus, and even though he's not 'officially' gay, he wouldn't mind being more than friends with Albus.
Hyperion: hey i have a craz idea u wanna hear?
Albus: Always.
Hyperion: u wanna go out with me?
Albus: What?
Hyperion: nvrmind it was a stupid idea
Of course, Scorpius was rejected. He's glad for the first time that he doesn't know Albus in real life; it would've been much more humiliating if Scorpius had to see him every day.
Instead of seeing what Albus responds, Scorpius stuffs his phone in his pocket and crosses the quad—this time looking out for cars—to his dorm building.
Yanking open the door to his room, he tosses his coat on the floor and flops on his bed.
"Pick up your jacket," his roommate Albus scolds, looking way happier than Scorpius feels.
"Chill, Felix," he replies, opening his laptop. "It's my side of the room." Albus just rolls his eyes and goes back to his own laptop.
After actually working for a bit, Scorpius can't help but open Skype on his browser, wanting to see Albus's response, no matter how bad.
Albus: I mean, I guess we could go out. Like online dating?
"Oh!" Scorpius says out loud.
"What?" Albus says, looking over.
"None of your business," he snaps. A grin spreads across his face, though as he types out a response to (the better) Albus.
Hyperion: omg yay that's actually gr8 ok ur my bf now
Albus: Oh boy
Albus has no idea how to date someone in real life, and now he's dating someone who he doesn't even know. He knows Hyperion, but it's infuriating sometimes to not know what he's actually like in real life.
Albus: Hey, I was thinking…
Hyperion's response was immediate—it always was, since they became 'official'.
Hyperion: yes?
Albus: You live in London, right?
Hyperion: born n raised
Albus: Maybe we can meet up this Saturday; I go to Uni here
Hyperion: YES that sounds rlly good im down
Albus: Will I get to know your first name?
Hyperion: ofc.
Albus: Yes! I'm going to kiss you as soon as I meet you, I swear to God.
Hyperion: nice ;). let's meet regency cafe?
Albus: Sounds good!
Hyperion: ill see u then ;)
Albus can't stop smiling, now. He doesn't want to.
Scorpius doesn't know why Albus is wearing a suit, but he's going tease him about it.
"Why are you wearing a suit? Are you going on a date?"
"Yes, actually," Albus says, turning around as he tightens his tie.
"Hey, same! Except I can dress normally for one, unlike somebody I know." Scorpius motions to his simple jeans and t-shirt.
Albus just rolls his eyes and turns back to his mirror to straighten his tie. Scorpius laughs and walks out, heading to his date.
He whips out his phone, preparing to text his boyfriend Albus about his roommate Albus.
Hyperion: my roommate is going on a date and wearing a suit aha who does that
Albus: I'm wearing a suit
Hyperion: are all albuses (albi?) nerds?
Albus: Apparently |-(
Hyperion: well my roomate albus is an annoying nerd. ur a cute nerd
Albus: thanks?
Hyperion: well, gtg. see u soon!
Albus: bye! x
Scorpius puts his phone away and walks to the cafe, choosing a seat next to a window. How will he even know when Albus gets here?
Hyperion: hey im here waiting
Albus: I just walked in. What does your face look like? How am I supposed to find you?
Hyperion: im by the big window. hang on, ill send u a selfie
Scorpius sends Albus a quick selfie, peace sign and all. After a couple of moments, a hand slams down on the table.
"No. Fucking. Way."
Albus can't believe the gall of him. Hyperion can't be Scorpius.
"What the hell are you doing here, Potter? Please leave, I'm waiting for someone," Scorpius says, giving Albus a dark look.
"Yeah, numbskull. You're waiting for me."
Scorpius pauses for a moment before laughing. "You're Albus?"
Albus slides his phone to Scorpius, showing their Skype messages.
"You're Hyperion?" he asks in the same tone.
"Well," Scorpius says, a grin on his face. Albus isn't smiling. "Sit down, Al. Let's have our date."
Albus does sit down, reeling from the fact that he had been dating—he is dating—his sloppy roommate, who never fails to get on his nerves. He just needs to separate Scorpius from Hyperion.
"So," Albus says putting his hands up.
"So are you going to kiss me or not?" Scorpius asks, winking at Albus.
"No! What're you even talking about?" Albus doesn't want to date Scorpius one bit. Scorpius is nothing like Hyperion, except that he is Hyperion.
"You texted me, and I quote, 'I'm going to kiss you as soon as I meet you, I swear to God.' If you swore to God, you'd better do it.
"I was joking?" Albus says, phrasing it as more of a question. He isn't going to kiss Scorpius, no matter how much he has wanted to kiss Hyperion. Scorpius looks slightly disappointed.
"How was I supposed to know you were joking?" Albus rolls his eyes and doesn't respond. "Look, I know you don't like me because of my sloppiness, or whatever, but we did like each other online, right? So can't we like each other offline, as well?"
That is a fair point, but Scorpius is exactly the type of person Albus hates; sloppy, doesn't care about appearances, and altogether as annoying as Albus's older brother.
"Fine, I see how it is," Scorpius says with a sigh when Albus still doesn't respond. "I'll just leave, then. You don't have to date me." Scorpius gets up and starts to walk away before Albus calls after him.
"Wait!"
Scorpius turns around, looking annoyed. "What?"
"Maybe," Albus says, fidgeting with his tie, "we could still date? In real life? I mean, if you'd just try to be a little neater…"
Scorpius considers this for a moment before walking back over and sitting back down.
"I guess I could try to be a little neater. Only if you learn to loosen up a little bit."
Albus rolls his eyes for what seems like the hundredth time that date but smiles anyway. "Fine. That wouldn't be too bad."