Disclaimer: Not mine blah blah blah
A/N: Rather insane Fic about sensei's and their students
Starting off with a not-so-amusing chapter about when they all first met Will hopefully get better chapters up with more interested and funny occurrences later.
Just to let you know, I've named the Yondaime 'Akira', because…well I'm not sure, but he needs a name and I thought I'd try something different….I'd like to think he's an Uzumaki, but…well I'm just gonna leave that out
Also, as we don't know the names of (the newly named) Akira's teammates, then I deem that they shall be; Uchiha Miyako (girl) and Kenji (boy) as for his surname…Erghhhh getting decent Japanese names is taxing enough, I don't feel confident enough to make up a surname.
Sensei's! What to do when…
…You are meeting your subordinates for the first time
Sarutobi's way
Sarutobi traipsed down the corridor of the Academy, unsure exactly what to expect.
Jiraiya, Tsunade and Orochimaru, the three he would be working with. He had been told that they were all smart, but whereas the Orochimaru kid was supposedly a dedicated genius who would pick things up quickly and easily, Jiraiya – although smart – he had been told would be hard to work with. That was also speaking generally as apparently both he and the Tsunade girl apparently had very short attention spans and although eager to learn; they weren't likely to focus for too long during explanations.
Not to mention their as-of-now former Academy sensei had laughed and told him that the three of them all had 'rather overwhelming' personalities. And that had not been said in a way that implied any of them would be easy to deal with at all.
So, upon arriving outside the door of his destination, Sarutobi straightened his forehead protector and took a deep breath before sliding the door aside and stepping inside.
He stopped short, staring.
The two sat at the table were currently unaware of his presence, but the black-haired boy with corpse white skin who leant on the wall by the door, sighed and shook his head. Without even looking at Sarutobi he nodded at the table where – who Sarutobi assumed was Tsunade – and a spiky, snow-haired kid were sat. He looking very pissed off and sat in his boxers, she looking gleeful and sat in her under shirt, holding a hand out towards him and demanding that he 'pay up'.
The boy scowled, but threw his wallet to at her all the same before sulkily sweeping the scattered cards on the table off the edge and onto the floor.
"Tsunade likes to gamble," the raven-haired boy began coolly, "and proposed a game of poker whilst we waited for you. But Jiraiya is a pervert, hence the strip poker."
Sarutobi sighed. Well, their former sensei had not being kidding when he said they'd be a handful. "Right…then, you must be Orochimaru?" he said, addressing the pale boy as Tsunade skipped over, counting the money she had just won while Jiraiya began to dress.
Orochimaru nodded, but Sarutobi's attention was soon focussed elsewhere as Tsunade let out a happy shriek, "Hell yes! Drinks are on me!" she declared, "Sensei," she said politely, bowing her head as she stalked past him and right out the door, a messily dressed Jiraiya following, only pausing to bow briefly as he passed Sarutobi, "I'll take you up on that!" he yelled, sprinting down the corridor after her.
Sarutobi found himself listening in a mixture of shock and bewilderment to the two's fading conversation as they ran down the corridor.
"Shove off, no way was I serious!"
"I know you know exactly where you can buy sake!"
"Yeah but what makes you think I'm buying you any?!"
"Oi! That's my money, don't be mean, you flat-chested bitch!"
Orochimaru sighed again, ignoring the shrieks that followed Jiraiya's insult; "Tsunade is also an up and coming alcoholic." He pushed himself back up from the wall, moving towards the door. "I'll tell them to meet you at 6am in training ground 7." He said, sliding the door shut behind him.
Sarutobi simply stared at the closed door, trying to comprehend what had just happened…he had walked in and found two of his new students playing strip poker…they had proceeded to barely even acknowledge him before walking out to go and buy sake…sake! They were what, 10 years old? 12 at a push…and then the other one…that little brat had actually just taken complete control, informed him of where he was going to meet them tomorrow for training and at what time before leaving also.
Great. A dominating brat, a perverted idiot and a gambling alcoholic. Hell, those were pretty big personalities for such young kids.
Sarutobi flopped into a chair. Right, this called for a seriously hard and hopefully humiliating training task to be constructed, to be executed tomorrow.
Jiraiya's wayJiraiya was not in the best of moods. He was tired, hung over, and was now expected to go and sort some form of training or something for a group of bratty little kids.
What was it their former-sensei had said? 'They all have great potential but, depending, need someone who can give each of them the right motivation in the right way. They'll all need working on individually, no matter how the two loud mouths appear, look beneath the surface for what's really there'.
Akira, Miyako and Kenji - two loud pranksters and a cripplingly shy boy.
Stomping somewhat sulkily down the corridor Jiraiya wrenched the sliding door back, getting a brief glimpse of his new brats faces before water sloshed down on his head, followed by a bucket.
He heard them burst into hysterical laughter, or, two of them at least. What a lovely start.
"…Let's get one thing straight, I HATE you little bastards." Jiraiya growled from inside the bucket, his voice echoing and he heard his students laughter increase.
When he pulled the bucket from his head and let it fall to the floor he saw that only one of his new students was making any effort to cease laughing, albeit unsuccessfully.
He studied each one for a few moments, building quick character profiles on them based on their stance, expression and just how hard they were laughing at him.
A bratty looking blonde kid with a devilish grin, whose warm eyes scrunched shut at the action. His stance was relaxed and his hands supporting the back of his head as he snickered openly at Jiraiya.
A bold looking tom-boyish girl who could only be an Uchiha brat, a cocky smirk plastered on her face and a relaxed stance too, she stood with one hand on her hip and with her weight all on the left leg.
And finally a timid looking kid, who stopped giggling the second Jiraiya's eyes stopped on him, and started looking worried, avoiding all eye contact and taking up a very self-conscious stance, hunching his shoulders and hugging himself.
Right, so, Blonde Brat, Cocky Brat and Timid Brat…Well, they'd be interesting to work with to say the least.
However, there was no way they were going to get away with that. But still, he decided that he'd settle for simply speaking to them in a degrading manner for now until he could execute revenge tomorrow during training.
"Right," he began, pointing at himself, "I'm Jiraiya," he said, and they supposed this was his introduction, "And I am not interested in your names nor-"
It was at this point that the blonde-brat decided to interrupt. "Hey, Jiraiya-sensei, I think-"
"Shut it Blondie." Jiraiya snapped, silencing him.
"Oi, are you telling us you're just going to make names up for us?" Miyako asked angrily before Jiraiya had a chance to continue.
"Yup. Problem with that, tomboy?"
Miyako glared, ""Damn right. I'm-"
"Well I don't care, you can shut it too, Tom." He ordered, a smirk twitching at the corners of his mouth. He was beginning to enjoy himself.
Miyako glared, fuming in silence and grudgingly accepting for now that she was most likely going to be called 'Tom' (Short for Tomboy) by Jiraiya.
Jiraiya smirked satisfactorily, turning to the shy kid who stood away from the other two, both of whom between them had more than enough personality to make up a third team member.
Kenji looked so terrified that Jiraiya couldn't help but soften his expression, deciding that this poor little kid couldn't possibly have been in on the bucket prank, "Hey kid, what's your name?" he asked ignoring the outbursts from 'Blondie' and 'Tom' behind him.
"Kenji…" he mumbled, even more scared that Jiraiya was being nice to him but blatantly not so with the other two, "I…um…sorry for the bucket thing, Sensei, I didn't mean to…" he lapsed into silence, shuffling his feet nervously.
Jiraiya quirked an eyebrow, so he was in on the prank? Heh, who'd have thought? "Well then, Blondie, Kenji, Tom, meet me tomorrow at 6am sharp by the woman's bathhouse."
And with that he simply stalked out, leaving his baffled new subordinates staring after him, oblivious to the smile creeping onto his face. Though unfortunately for them, he was not so oblivious to the "Ero-sensei" Blondie muttered after him.
Akira's wayAkira burst through the Academy's double entrance doors, bolting down the corridor to the left. He was late. Really late.
He swore under his breath, picking up his pace a little and tugging his coat back up over his shoulder where it had slipped down. Skidding to a halt outside the door of his destination he stuffed the piece of buttered toast he had been attempting to wolf down while running into his mouth and straightened his clothes, trying desperately to remember the information he had been given on his new students.
He would be training…a five year old and two six year olds if he remembered correctly, one seven in a week's time. Hatake Kakashi, Uchiha Obito and something-or-other Rin… Well, Hatake and Uchiha…those names alone told Akira that he would be working with two geniuses. And the Rin kid was meant to be pretty smart too, already trained somewhat as the teams medic-nin.
Satisfied that he looked presentable enough and having finally caught his breath, Akira slid the door open and… proceeded to immediately trip over the bottom door's bar, falling flat on his face.
He groaned, raising his head a few inches and praying he'd got the wrong room. He hadn't. Three small children were staring at him in disbelief, clearly shocked that their Jounin sensei was going to be the clumsy, goofy blonde who had just fallen into the room.
"Damn." He muttered, letting his head fall back down where his forehead hit the wooden floor with a thunk.
"Oww." Akira muttered as he heard a soft thud of someone jumping off a desk, and then hurried footsteps before he felt a hand on his shoulder and heard a slightly worried voice, "Sensei? Are you okay?"
"Yeah," Akira muttered, sitting up and rubbing his forehead, "Oh no, wait, nose, owww" he mumbled, bringing his hands to cup his bloody nose.
The Uchiha boy curiously joined the girl, peering a little worriedly at Akira.
"I assure you that I fight better than I walk." He muttered, grinning.
"Come here," Rin smiled, gently pulling Akira's hands away from his nose before holding her own hands over it. They immediately began to emit a soft green glow and the familiar warmth of a simple healing jutsu washed over his face.
Six years old and already able to do that? He blinked at her as she withdrew her hands, "Hey you're good." He grinned, "You must be Rin, right?" she nodded, "And you're interested in healing?" she nodded again, "Well, now's normally the time you'd start beginners healing classes, but I think you're just a little more advanced than that. We'll see if I can't bribe Tsunade-sama into taking on a part-time subordinate." He said, beaming.
Before the startled Rin had chance to thank him, or even say anything, for him saying he was going to try and persuade Tsunade, the best medical-nin in history, to personally tutor her, Akira's attention had already drifted elsewhere.
"So…Obito and Kakashi, right?" he asked brightly, pointing to the relevant person for each name he said – they weren't hard to identify, the signature silver hair of the Hatake clan and the jet-black of the Uchiha clan made them instantly recognisable. At a nod from them both he clapped his hands together and stood, wiping the remaining blood off his face before deciding to show off a little. Well, he did need to establish himself as something other than a useless klutz.
After glancing at the three of them, all of whom were looking expectantly up at him he went to sit at the far back of the classroom. And 'went' in Akira's terms, involved running, which with his speed took him less than a second, so fast it seemed to his students almost as if he had just disappeared from beside them and reappeared up there.
Which was of course another option he could have taken with the aid of one of his kunai supporting the seal for his infamous Flying Thunder God technique.
By the time they were aware of what had happened, Akira had seated himself comfortably and rocked the chair back on two legs, his hands behind his head.
"Whoa…" Rin breathed, staring.
"COOL!" Obito opted to shriek, bounding up to Akira. "That's AMAZING! Will you teach us to do that?"
"We'll see." Akira smiled, letting his chair fall noisily back onto all four legs. "Now, sit please." He said, gesturing to the desk on the row below his.
Once all three had seated themselves on the desk (apparently not interested in the chairs) Akira started his introduction. "Okay, well, we'll start I guess with some introductions. Tell me a bit about yourselves…likes, dislikes, hobbies, dreams, stuff like that…" he paused, yawning widely before continuing, "And I suppose I'll go first…well, I'm Akira, my likes…hmmm…I like sleeping a lot, and I'm not much of a morning person, I'm warning you guys now, and oh, I love Ramen! As for dislikes...well I don't really think 'waiting for Ramen to cook' counts so bugs I guess, they kinda freak me out…" he shuddered a little, pulling a face, "Also being woken up. I hate that. Please refrain from doing so at all costs… umm I can't say I really have any hobbies…I don't think sleeping counts either, and if I'm not sleeping then someone's stopped me sleeping to send me on a mission so…oh and dreams, well that one's easy, I wanna be Hokage." he stopped, the casual grin he seemed to wear permanently on his face in place again. He crossed his arms on the table in front of him and rested his chin on them, looking expectantly down at them.
After spending a moment or two in complete silence Obito decided that he'd go first.
"I'm Uchiha Obito," he began proudly, "And I really like training with my brother, he's in the police force by the way, and I don't like it when people just brush me off and assume I'm not worth bothering with," his voice turned a little bitter here, and Akira's brow furrowed a little as he recalled something else he had been told about this boy. He lived in the shadow of his older brother. The kid had achieved an incredible status already, at an age where most people were only starting to think about getting into the Academy and he had already graduated, but that was apparently not good enough for his father, the only parent in his life. Obito crinkled his nose, thinking, "I don't really have hobbies I don't think…and as for dreams…well I'd like to be as good as my brother I guess…"
"Hmm-hmm" Akira nodded sleepily, turning his gaze to Kakashi, who looked bored out of his mind, and started to speak in a dull, lazy, monotonous voice, "I'm Hatake Kakashi, my likes and dislikes… I don't really feel like telling you. I have a lot of hobbies and I haven't really got any 'dreams'."
"That's not an introduction!" Obito protested immediately, "We didn't learn a thing about you except your name!"
Kakashi glared, "And why do you care? What possible good is it going to do you, knowing my dislikes and my hobbies?"
Obito didn't seem to take kindly to being spoken to like that by someone a whole two years younger than him. "Hey, you're what, five? I thi-"
"Yes," Kakashi cut him off in answer to his first question, "A whole two years younger and yet I could still beat you in a sparring match."
"No way!"
They had both stood up now and were staring each other down when Rin intervened.
A small argument, brief fight and two quick healing jutsu's later and Rin had finally managed to get through to them that they were on the same team and should at the very least start trying to get along. They had (somewhat grudgingly) calmed and sat back down, only to find Akira – who had been surprisingly quiet throughout the whole scuffle – slumbering on the desk.
The argument was forgotten as the three of them stared, unable to believe that he really truly was a Jounin, let alone a Jounin fit to teach them.
Obito took his eyes off his Sensei - who was snoring loudly and dribbling all over the desk - to exchange looks with the other two.
"I propose we draw on him." He said loudly, staring again.
The other two wordlessly agreed and it wasn't long before Akira was had been given a makeover with a set of brightly coloured pens. Instead of settling for the usual moustache and eye patch and various other randomly scribbled things, they had managed to colour his lips red, which they were pleased to see it looked just like lipstick. This of course gave them the idea to colour his eyelids purple, acting as a bright and badly applied eye shadow, use a hot-pink pen to scribble blush into his cheeks and then finish it off by using the black pen to outline his eyes in 'eyeliner'.
When Akira woke up some three hours later, he found his students gone, and a note left in their place. Wiping his mouth he yawned and picked it up and – noting the three different types of handwriting on various parts of it - scanned it lazily.
"Assumed we'd be training tomorrow, (if you manage to drag your lazy backside out of bed (More like if you even woke up and went home to bed)) so will be at the training grounds at 10am (That late enough for you? You're clearly very lazy and… well so are we…) love," there were several scribbled out phrases here, but the final and only legible one had a descriptive word added to it by all of them, as could been seen from the hand writing "the team with the clumsiest, laziest, weirdest but-overall-awesomest (We're giving you the benefit of the doubt (No, Obito just decided ((Yeah well I think you're awesome)) Hokage-wannabe Sensei,"
He smiled, pocketing the note and – something he would regret later – opted to take a leisurely walk home, as oppose to the usual 20-second dash he did.