Hi guys! I'm not sure if everyone abandoned this fandom back in 2013 when the show got cancelled, but I just discovered it on Netflix and was heartbroken when I realized there was no more. (Seriously, they need to label that shit so you know what you are getting into)

Anyway, I have been really caught up on the characters and obsessed with how much Emily f-ed up. So, naturally, I wrote a continuation fanfic from where the show left off. I have some chapters already written but I'm going to try publishing biweekly updates *crosses fingers hopefully* I am notorious for losing steam in a project, so review to keep me going! (Also so I actually know there are some of you out there reading!)

Just to be transparent: this story has quite a bit of language because... well... I have quite a bit of language. And later on the rating will be bumped up to M for sexual reasons. I will put a warning at the beginning of the chapter but you may miss some plot details.

Thanks to Polkadottedgiraffe11 for being a FANTASTIC beta! I would probably go insane trying to figure this out without you!

Without further ado (except that I don't own any of this content or characters)

Chapter 1: Thinking Messes Up Everything

Emily can't think. Thinking is what has kept her from every amazing thing she could have had. That's what everyone keeps telling her.

Instead, she has to just let the med student in her take control and kiss Will. It's easy enough to get by with half-hesitancy as Will has the confidence and desperation for the both of them. He seems to be devouring her with his mouth, he's everywhere all at once and yet nowhere she wants him to be. Stop thinking, Emily, feel. Just feel.

Feel his stubble on her stomach. Feel his hands cupping her ass. Taste the whiskey on his breath. Just like her first kiss with Micah.

Micah.

Like a flash, Emily returned to her body and broke the kiss.

Shit. Micah.

Sweet, caring Micah. Dimpled smiles flashed through her head. The feeling of his breath fanned across hers after their first kiss.

Fuck.

The world was a blur. The room was spinning and Emily wasn't sure exactly what she had just done. In a haze, she grabbed her coat and purse and left the apartment, completely oblivious to the confused Will she left in her living room and the pajamas she was still wearing.

The 10 minute drive to the hospital may as well have been an eternity. Her heart was beating faster than the car's engine she was sure and yet she couldn't help but wonder what that technically was. Micah and I aren't dating so does this count as cheating? Am I putting pressure on him to call this cheating? I feel like I did something wrong. Why do I feel like I did something wrong?

Nearly perfect recall may have been her saving grace in medical school, but she would have traded it away for anything now. The more her brain looped the intense three minutes she spent with Will, the more emptier she felt. His touches had been selfish. Med Student Emily would be desperately searching for what she did wrong, but Dr. Emily Owens realized that it wasn't her Will was searching for. She was just a stand in and she was tired of it. Tired of being his side thing.

But Micah. Half jogging through the halls, her eyes finally found his blue scrubs and it was like a bubble in her had burst. It took all her self control to restrain from hugging him right there. Her heart was screaming at her that this was her last chance to touch him and her muscles were shaking from the strain of staying calm.

His eyes caught hers and he smiled. The image fit perfectly over the dimpled one she'd pictured before. "Hey," he seemed happy. Finally happy.

She tried to look normal, "Hey."

"Aren't you off?" He seemed more than a little curious. But still happy.

"Can we talk? I really need to talk." Standing here any longer would be the death of any restraint she'd conjured. Something deep in her knew that she was about to lose everything and she desperately wanted to close her fingers around the last bit before it all slipped away.

"I have a patient, 5 minutes on the roof?"

She nodded with a slight smile before heading to the stairwell. Normally, she'd take the elevator for the 4 flights up and then take the stairs for the last floor to the roof, but she needed the time alone.

With each step all the self restraint was replaced ounce by ounce with the overwhelming sense that she had royally screwed up everything. After all though, did she really want Micah? If not she had just ruined any chance of what she'd been pining after for years with Will. But then she thought about losing Micah. It was like a weight had landed on her chest and was preparing to take up permanent residency. How could she feel so strongly about someone she'd only know for a few months? I really need to workout more if this is what 4 floors does to me. Her hands itched to grab onto him and never let go.

She stood staring into the blinding sun for maybe 3 minutes before she heard the door click behind her. The noise seemed to resound like a metaphorical end to what Emily only just realized she really wanted.

As soon as she saw the soft look of adoration on his face, all her control went out the window. Suddenly it was just her mouth on his. Gently, with more than a little hesitation, she wound her arms around his neck and played with the soft hairs underneath his hairline. He shivered at the sensation and she marveled that she'd caused such a reaction. Titling his mouth to better access hers as though he only just woke from a revery, Emily realized she didn't want this to heat up. She didn't need to go any further because she could lounge in his arms all day.

Slowly, she pulled back enough to rest her forehead on his and closed her eyes. "Yes," she breathed out softly.

"Well, that's better than thank you. I guess," she giggled a little. Nervously more than anything.

Their breathing was labored still when Emily opened her eyes, afraid to meet Micah's. He angled his head down slightly to catch her gaze, "Hey."

Her nose scrunched up slightly as she realized what needed to come next, "Hi."

"What's going on?" His eyes searched hers with a calm patience. But she could tell he was more than a little freaked out.

Her hands went to her hair as she attempted to steady her breathing, "I screwed up. It was stupid and I know I overthink things but Tyra is definitely wrong, you have to think before you act with this stuff."

She was rambling. She knew it. So did Micah. Looking up from the pebbled roof, she saw his brain reeling as she tried to piece together what she was saying.

"I did something stupid. And as soon as it happened I knew I had to see you and tell you because I felt like I had cheated. Which is stupid because we haven't even talked about what we are-"

"Wait, Emily. What did you do?" There was no hiding it now. He was scared. She had done this.

I ruined his happy.

"Will and I got a drink after our shift. And he told me he liked me. Which I didn't know how to respond to- so I left. Only, he followed me upstairs and I let him in."

Terrified of what she might see there, she peaked at his face. It was blank as he followed her story.

"I kissed him. Or more he kissed me. But I guess it doesn't matter because I let it happen. For about 3 minutes and then I saw you in my mind and I couldn't do it. I didn't want to."

It was quiet as she trailed off. "I don't want to be anyone's rebound or stand in. He wasn't there for me, he was there because he was lonely."

His eyes finally met hers and she nearly choked on the anguish she saw there.

"Micah-"

"Emily, wait. Just let me speak." He sat down and braced his arms against his thighs, dragging his gaze from the rooftop to meet her eyes.

"I know you say you're over him. But if he hadn't just broken up with Cassandra..." he cleared his throat of the emotion that was beginning to choke it, "if he'd said all those things and did all that of his own volition, would you still be here?"

She went to respond but he cut her off again, "Don't answer right now, just think about it."

He got up to leave and as his shadow retreated, the picture was so much like the one in her worst fears she couldn't help the sob that ripped across her throat. How did she manage to screw up everything so quickly?

Her head felt heavy. So she pulled her knees to her chest and watched the sun go to bed.

What the fuck had she done?

AN:

So? What did you think? Review!