The Sith Lord

by Jedi Writer 28

A Star Wars parody of Poe's The Raven. Told from Anakin/Darth Vader's point of view.

I do not own Star Wars or "The Raven". This is told from Anakin's point of view.

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"The Sith Lord" based on "The Raven" by Edgar Allan Poe

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,

Over many a quaint and curious volume of forbidden lore,

While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,

As of someone gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.

`'Tis some officer,' I muttered, `tapping at my chamber door -

Only this, and nothing more.'

Ah, distinctly I remember it was on that horrid order,

And each separate Jedi warrior wrought a ghost upon the floor.

Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow

From their deaths surcease of sorrow - sorrow piercing to the core -

For the rare and radiant Padme whom I ever will adore -

Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sadness spoke by the rustling of my coal black cloak

Chilled me - filled me with dark terrors of what I had done before;

So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating

`'Tis some officer entreating entrance at my chamber door -

Some late officer entreating entrance at my chamber door; -

They will pay. They'll breath no more,'

Presently the Force grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,

`Sir,' said I, `or Madam, truly my forgiveness you'll implore;

But the fact is I was napping, and so harshly you came rapping,

And so loudly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,

You disturbed my meditation' - here I opened wide the door; -

Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,

Doubting, dreaming dreams no Jedi ever dared to dream before

But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,

And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, `Padme!'

This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, `Padme!'

Merely this, no more to say.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,

Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.

`Surely,' said I, `surely that is something my computer rattles;

Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -

Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -

'Tis a message, nothing more!'

Open here I flung my bower, when, with many a flit and cower,

In there stepped a stately Sith lord of the evil days of yore.

Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;

But, with mien of lord, not lady, perched inside my chamber door -

Perched upon a throne of grandeur just inside my chamber door -

Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this blacked cloaked man beguiling my dark fancy into smiling,

By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance he wore,

`Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven.

Ghastly grim and ancient Sith lord wandering from the nightly shore -

Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Imperial shore!'

Quoth the Sith lord, `Nevermore.'

Much I marvelled this ungainly man to hear discourse so plainly,

Though his answer little meaning - little relevancy bore;

For we cannot help agreeing that no living cyborg being

Ever yet was cursed with seeing Sith beside his chamber door -

Man or beast upon the sculptured throne beside his chamber door,

With such name as `Nevermore.'

But the Sith lord, sitting lonely on the placid throne, spoke only,

That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.

Nothing further then he uttered - not a feature then he fluttered -

Till I scarcely more than muttered `Other friends I've killed before -

On the morrow he will leave me, as my mother died before.'

Then the Sith said, `Nevermore.'

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,

`Doubtless,' said I, `what it utters is its only stock and store,

Caught from some unholy master whom unmerciful disaster

Ushered fast and ushered faster till his acts one burden bore -

Till the dirges of their hope his evil dark side burden bore

Of "Never-nevermore."'

But the Sith lord still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,

Straight I knelt, uncushioned floor, in front of Sith and throne and door;

Then, upon the hard floor sinking, I betook myself to linking

Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous Sith of yore -

What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous Sith of yore

Meant in croaking `Nevermore.'

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing

To the man whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;

This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining

In my helmet's plastoid lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er,

But whose coal black plastoid lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er,

She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer

Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the metal floor.

`Wretch,' I cried, `thy Master's lent thee - by these spirits he has sent thee

Respite - respite and nepenthe from memories of Padme sore!

Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget lost Padme more!'

Quoth the Sith lord, `Nevermore.'

`Sith lord!' said I, `thing of evil! - Sith lord still, if man or devil! -

Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,

Desolate yet all undaunted, on this spaceship still enchanted -

On this home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore -

Is there - is there balm on Duro? - tell me - tell me, I implore!'

Quoth the Sith lord, `Nevermore.'

`Sith lord!' said I, `thing of evil! - Sith lord still, if man or devil!

By that Heaven that bends around us - by that man we both deplore -

Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,

It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom I dare to call no more -

Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom I dare to call no more?'

Quoth the Sith lord, `Nevermore.'

`Be that word our sign of parting, man or Sith!' I shrieked upstarting -

`Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Imperial shore!

Leave no black cloak as a token of that lie my soul hath spoken!

Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the throne beside my door!

Take thy snare from out my heart, and take thy form from near my door!'

Quoth the Sith lord, `Nevermore.'

And the Sith lord, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting

On the pallid throne of gradeur just inside my chamber door;

And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,

And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;

And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor

Shall be lifted - nevermore!

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I hope you enjoyed it! Please review!

J.W.