My dearest Maria,

It's been years since we last saw each other. I do not know if you will ever read this letter or not; maybe after knowing whom this letter is from, you might throw this away. But if ever, this deep hope I have that you might read this, yes, knowing that will simply make me happy.

I know that the life of being a nation hasn't been that easy for you. Well, not only for you, but for all of us. We need to fight to survive. We need to face our fears and leave them all behind, and we are forced to go to battle even if we don't want to. We see our countrymen die, watching their blood splatter right in front of our eyes. It hurts me to see all of that. There are days that I would wish that God should have made me normal, made us all normal.. But then, I can only wish. I can only hope. Yes, life as a nation hasn't been very easy for all of us.

If you only knew, Maria, that I regret the day I had hurt you, that day I forced to take you away from America. Why, you looked so happy when you were with him. I was alone, I always had been. Italy abandoned me, and Germany became selfish and conceited. What happened to all of us? What happened to those days that when we were all happy, when we weren't at war? Why do they have to leave me all alone? And this, I ask of you, why do you have to leave me alone?

You sided with America. You sided with him, even though you knew he was my enemy. You knew how I felt about you, but you betrayed me. And that is the main reason why I wanted to take you away.

But then, a part of me is saying that I am lying to myself. The fact is not because you betrayed me, nor is it because of the fact that you, of all people that I had trusted, left me, the real reason why I am still like this, is because I still love you. I love you, Maria. I never would have imagined myself loving a person like this, that I would end up even hurting you, but yes, Maria, I love you. I really do. I do not know how long has it been, but I've always been fascinated by your happy-go-lucky and strong attitude. I think, I've just realized these feelings when you left me.

Love makes us do crazy things. And I know that I am no exception to this rule. I had hurt you, forced you to be one of my colonies, just to make you stay by my side. I tried to cut off all your connections to America, so that maybe, you would side with me from now on, and forget about that imbecile. I wanted you for myself, I grew more selfish as days went by.. Is it too much? Have I been too much? Is my fear of losing you became too much for you to bear? Are these feelings still considered as love, and not obsession?

Time and time again, I would look at your house from far away, hoping that you might look out from your window. I want to see you once more, and I miss everything about you. Jealousy creeps on me as I watch America visit you, day after day after day, my fists clenching and my heart breaking, but I can only remain here and watch you, being slowly taken away from me. Why is it so hard for me now to even knock at your door? To ask for your forgiveness, hoping that we could start again? I really am wondering, why did everything turn out this way?

You might be crying, or you might be laughing now, seeing that I am still miserable as I have always been. I can only hope that maybe, one day, even if we cannot be lovers, at least, we can start all over again as friends. Forgive me, for anything I had done, Maria. If ever your answer is no, then, it is fine with me, I will still wait for that day that you would. I will wait for that day, and I will wait for you.

Sincerely,

Honda, Kiku

A/N: Fanfic request for a Honda Kiku RP.