Title: Close Encounters of the Wasp Kind
Characters: Waspinator, Po, Viper, Mantis
Summary: Waspinator looked over his back and thought to himself rather gleefully, while sorting out energy signatures and fractals, that maybe, just maybe, this particular universe was more merciful and did not hate him as much as his previous one did.
A/N: This odd crossover could only be for Blazemane, with whom I discussed the multifaceted world of writing and fanfiction, knocked around story ideas, debated the pros and cons of a professional writer's life, talked about NaNoWriMo 2011, and who once offered me help in Math from halfway across the world. Thanks for being such an amazing friend on FFnet, and Merry Christmas to you!
Waspinator had seen some pretty weird things – he was a Predacon and space-time traveller and everything – but this somehow managed to eclipse them all.
"Uh, you okay, pal?" the biologically densest organism asked.
His linguistic algorithms automatically recognised the language as old-age Chinese, and adjusted his speech chips accordingly. "Waspinator's scanzzz indicate minimal structural damage. Auto-repairzzz commenced four cycles ago," he buzzed in instinctive reply.
"I think he hit his head when he fell." The reptilian life form peered at him concernedly. "Do you know where you are?"
"Planetary scanzzz places terrestrial location at primitive Earth."
"Okay. He's clearly delusional," a small voice said. Zooming in on the dense mammal's right shoulder with his optic processors, Waspinator registered a small green insect.
Something had gone very, very wrong with his trip back to Cybertron. Waspinator was having a hard time reconciling the conflicting data apropos to his location. These were Earth species, no doubt, and their society had way too many structural similarities to be a mere coincidence, but nowhere in his records was it mentioned that a vast majority of sentient chordates, and this one arthropod, had developed powers of speech. In fact, their bipedalism seemed to indicate some form of evolutionary relationship with the hominids commonly associated with planet Earth, who were strangely all missing. Where did the proto-humans go? It wasn't adding up.
Back on Cybertron, Waspinator had downloaded preliminary programmes explaining the mechanics of manipulating the space-time continuum in preparation for their joyride on the Darksyde. The files were absolutely humongous and inundated his datatrax, but Megatron had insisted on him knowing how to execute a transwarp jump perfectly. He'd deleted most of them after landing on primordial Earth to free up space, but retained a small bit of knowledge concerning the multiverse theory in time travel. Infinite universes and parallel realities approximating each other, floating around in some cosmological container and colliding where their membranes intersected.
Perhaps that was what had happened. The ship he'd cobbled together from scrap metal and junk was, even by the standards of some trash-bot with a crack aerospace technician degree, unsafe to fly through space, much less time. The time vortex had fried the ship's navigation, and the wormhole he opened probably ejected him out into the universe he was closest to at that point. This one seemed to closely resemble his own, at least.
"Must be a foreigner. I didn't even know that wasps could grow so big," the reptile said.
"Well, I'd like to know his secret, whatever it is," the insect mused. "I could wreck some serious face if I were his size."
"Come on, guys. Let's help him up," the black-and-white mammal suggested.
They surrounded Waspinator and grabbed him under his forelegs, hoisting him up. "I'm Po, by the way," the mammal said.
"Viper here," the reptile chirped.
"Mantis," the insect grunted.
"What's your name?" Po asked.
"Waspinator's name is Waspinator."
Po raised an eyebrow. "Huh. Funny name. Is it Mongolian?"
"Don't be silly, Po. It's obviously Tibetan." Mantis rolled his eyes.
"Are you crazy? I'll bet you've never heard a Tibetan name in your life."
"Hey!" Viper's tinny voice made them flinch. "How about we try to help out our friend here instead?" She turned to Waspinator. "Where're you from?"
"Waspinator originates from Cybertron. Waspinator must return to Cybertron."
"Um…okay." She regarded him carefully, as though he would flip out at any moment. "Would you like us to get you a rickshaw?"
Waspinator accessed the appropriate file concerning early-Earth transportation. "Waspinator cannot return to Cybertron by the vehicle known as 'rickshaw'. Only way Waspinator can return izzz by transwarp ship. Waspinator must find Energon source quickly and rebuild transwarp ship. Poor Waspinator wants to return to Cybertron so bad." His sensors did detect Energon ore somewhere in the vicinity; apparently, even other-Earths were chock-full of the fuel.
His acquaintances exchanged looks. "Maybe we can help you find this…Energon," said Po. "Can you tell us where to look?"
Waspinator perked up immediately. "Waspinator shall lead search party to obtain necessary partzzz! First time Waspinator gets to be leader! Oooh, how very exciting! Follow Waspinator!" Unfurling his veined gossamer wings, he started to fly away, tracking Energon radiation with whatever built-in sensor technology that still remained functional.
"Oh, wait up!" Viper called after him, turning anxiously to Po and Mantis. "We aren't supposed to go on missions without Master Shifu's approval, are we?"
Po seemed to concur for a moment, and then gazed longingly at Waspinator's shrinking striped behind. He grinned. "Nothing like a good scavenger hunt to warm up before our real training begins! Whaddaya say, Mantis?"
"Just make sure we're back in time for lunch is all I'm saying," Mantis muttered, and Viper moaned in despair.
They took off after their peculiar associate, who was fully engrossed in scouting out his materials with a zeal he never had with the rest of the Predacons. Waspinator looked over his back and thought to himself rather gleefully, while sorting out energy signatures and fractals, that maybe, just maybe, this particular universe was more merciful and did not hate him as much as his previous one did.