Parallel Universe : Death The Kid – Soul Eater – Death The Kid/OC CrackFic-ish

Summary : Kid's opposite from heaven shows up. CrackFic Kid/OC Read and Review.

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Chapter 1 : A fight about Symmetry

"Okay, Life-chan," Maka's father said, as Kid walked in, "Oh, Kid-kun, great timing, meet Life The Kid."

"Hello. . ." Kid said staring blankly at her. She had white hair down to her butt in an asymmetrical cut and two different coloured eyes, one white, the other black, "You should wear a black contact."

"Why? Asymmetrical is better," she said smiling. Kid twitched slightly and glared.

"Symmetry is beauty," he stated, "Anything that is asymmetrical doesn't deserve existence."

"Um. . .Kid-" Life started but Spirit cut her off.

"I wouldn't bring that up," he said, Life gave him a look but took his advice.

"Asymmetry."

"Symmetry."

"Asymmetry."

"Symmet-SPIRIT! THAT TABLE ISN'T SYMMETRICAL!" Kid shouted as he went into a fit. Though all Life heard was "wahwahwah symmetry wahwahwah."

"I like the table the way it is," Life offered nonchalantly, Kid turned and glared at him.

"What did you say?" he hissed.

"I said," Life started and got in his face, "I. Like. Said. Table. The. Way. It. Is. Now. In fact, I like it a lot."

"But the leg, it's offset!" Kid shouted pointing to the table leg, "It's hideous!"

"Hey! Tables have feelings too! It's only like a billionth of a centimetre off!"

"It's not SYMMETRICAL!" at thispoint Spirit just slipped out of the room unnoticed.

"It doesn't have to be symmetrical!"

"Grrrrrrr. . ."

"Is there anything you do like?" Life asked whipping out a random photo album and turning it to a picture of a clown, "Like CLOWNS? Or KITTENS? Or YOUR DICK?"

"What the hell?" Kid said shocked.

"What. . .I have yet to meet a man who likes his dick, for my father's sake."

"What. . .?"

"I'm the Daughter of Life, The Daughter of GOD! Jeez, you're not very smart are you?" Life snickered a playful glint entering her gaze, "I doubt you even know where babies come from."

"Oh?" Kid said and tackled her to the ground, "You Asymmetrical piece of garbage! You think you can belittle me?"

"So, you gonna show me where babies come from? Our fathers would have a fit," she laughed, her smile never faded.

"You're really a bitch, you know that?"

"Gasp! You swore at me! To hell with you, you little cunt fuck!" Life laughed, Kid's eye twitched.

"Shut up," he said as she continued laughing, his eye twitching more rapidly. Life put hier finger under his chin and tilted his head up.

"Got a twitch? Is it Tourette's?" she asked, "Maybe Parkinson's. Or maybe too much symmetry."

"Symmetry is beauty!"

"For a Shinigami you sure are obsessive about asthetic appeal," Life stated.

"For a Kami you sure are argumentive," Kid retorted coldly, Life snickered again, "What?"

"What made you think putting a Shinigami and a Kami in one room with no supervision wouldn't start a fight? And you really aren't all that smart."

"What the hell's that supposed to mean?" Kid shouted, Life stared at him blankly, and for one second, he could almost see himself in her stare.

"I am your opposite, little meister," Life snickered, "I am your parallel!" Kid almost coughed up blood, this asymmetrical abomination was his parallel.

"You are an abomination, you are asymmetrical!"

"SO ARE YOU! LOOK AT YOUR FREAKING HAIR!" Life shouted, sniggering as Kid slumped into a depression.

"I DO NOT DESERVE TO LIVE!" Kid wailed, Life laughed and walked away. [A/N : Yeah, Life-chan, leave the depressed kid alone, how nice of you. Life : Haha. . .]

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Next Day [Life Ditched him, there's nothing more I really need to say right now]

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"Hey, Kid," Life said walking into the classroom.

"Oh, she dropped the honorific," Soul snickered, "Kid's got a girlfriend."

"You, with the grey-white-silver hair," Life said, "Shut the fuck up."

"Life, what do you want?" Kid asked standing up, Life walked over to him and threw something on the table, "What is that?"

"Food, I figured you deserved something special after our conversation last night," Life said narrowing her eyes. Kid let out a wail, she smiled and stalked out of the classroom. As she left the school her father appeared behind her.

"Life. . .sometimes I secretly think, Shinigami-san is your father."

"What. . .?"

"Well, you do act more like a Shinigami than a Kami…"

"Then you must be Kid's father-oh thanks dad, I have new ammo now! Baibai!" she said and ran off. He sighed and went back up to heaven, watching his daughter closely.

When Kid got home, Life was sitting on the floor playing with some cards.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Nothing you need to know about, Stripes," Life responded blankly. Kid fell into another depression and slunk off to his emo corner.

"An unsymmetrical guy like me shouldn't live," he whined.

"The correct word is 'asymmetrical'," Life said not looking from her cards.

"I'm trash," he muttered, Life turned to stare at him.

"Shut up, and quit being so emo you little jackass," she said blankly, "Or I'll personally damn you to hell."

"Oh shut up, 'Kami-chama'," Kid said glaring at her.

"Make me," Life whispered in his ear, and walked away. When she reached the stairs, she turned and stared at him, "Do you know where babies come from?" she asked, then walked up the stairs.

Weird ending, but I like it. No flames, this is my first fic, nyan. I had the weirdest idea to write a crack fic, and so I started one, now I'm working on this one, and I figured "Why not make it into a real fic?" so I argued with myself and I'm trying to finish it. It's Death The Kid/Life The Kid (OC), so if you don't like it, don't continue reading it. It probably sucks, but there will be more provoking of Kid and Life. Hahaha. *walks away* FLAMES WILL BE USED TO TOAST KID'S ASYMMETRICAL DEMENTED BUNNY WAFFLES! (Next chapter will explain that .)