The hum of the car's motor calmed me down as we sped down the interstate passing a sign that says "Welcome to Mystic Falls" My thought were all over the place as I contemplated all the crazy things that happened today. Jeremy wants to kill me, Caroline, Bonnie, and Stefan want to fix me, and this god damn sire bond was messing with my mind. I don't know how to convince Damon that my feelings are real. I know they are. I have never felt the way I feel about Damon. He makes me feel wanted and special. It's like he consumes me, and I would do anything to feel that all the time. I wanted him; I needed him like I need to breathe the air. I guess you don't know what you have till it's gone, right?
Bonnie slowed the car right outside the boarding house. I stared out the window wallowing in my grief.
"It's for the best Elena" she stated
I know, I know it's for the best, but I can't help but wonder why me? How come when I finally found something that makes me happy that it has to be taken away from me? I didn't say anything as I slipped out of the car and walked into the house. The smell of spice and wood hit me as I slowly treaded into the parlor. I took off my shoes and jacket, and I went straight to the alcohol and grabbed a glass and pour myself a glass of bourbon. God I am turning into Damon I thought with a smirk. I finished my glass and padded upstairs to Damon's room. The hardwood floors felt cool against my bare feet as I cautiously opened his door. The Mahogany door whined in reply. I looked around the room and sighed. The bed was still unmade, and the side table was strewn across the room. Blush crept into my cheeks as I relived the passion filled evening. I walked over to the table and picked up the lamp that went with it, and set it back in the place it should be. I stripped off my clothes, and went over to Damon's drawers. I pulled open the drawers and looked for a shirt to wear. Finally, I decided on a black button down shirt. Granted, black was the only color Damon owned anyway. I collapsed on the bed in only Damon's shirt and a pair of underwear. The smell of the sheets smelled like him and I just wanted to lay there forever letting the fragrance swirl around me like the steam coming off a hot mug of coffee.
Suddenly, the clamor of the front door slamming shut shook me from my day dream. Using my vampire speed I grabbed a pair of Nike shorts and pulled them over my bare legs. A familiar smell wafted through the air and it reminded me of my time as a human, a time when I thought I had everything I was looking for. I Thought I was so in love. However, my time as a vampire has opened my eyes to things that I couldn't even imagine. I feel things that I can't describe. It's like everything I felt before I was a vampire was magnified. Cautiously I made my way downstairs, and peeked out from behind the corner. The house was pitch black, and the only light was the illuminating glow of the dying embers of the fire. The light reflected off my face giving me an angelic aura that cascaded around my face.
"Hello...?" I whispered into the black abyss. Suddenly, a pair of strong arms came from behind me, and pushed me against the wall. My airway was constricted by his fingers, and panic slowly seeped itself into my bones entering into my bloodstream. I was paralyzed in my spot, it felt like my feet where stuck in concrete. No matter how much I tried I couldn't shake the fear out of my body. 'The fear is all in your head Elena, move!" One thing I have learned from being involved with the supernatural world is that fear is not something that you can just wish away. There is no bargaining with, and no alleviating its force of overwhelming aptitude. I writhed against the wall waiting for this torture to end. Less and less oxygen was circulating through my lungs, and I could hear my heartbeat thumping in my ears. It almost sounded like the anxious revving of a hundred engines on the black and white checkered line placed across the dirt. Groaning in discomfort, I waited for my attacker to carelessly ease up from my neck. Suddenly the fingers tightly wrapped around my throat uncoiled.
"Elena I'm so sorry…I didn't know…..it was too dark to see" I knew exactly who that voice belonged to. How could I not? It was not too long ago I was completely in love with him.
"Stefan…what the hell?" I shouted viciously. How could he not know it was me?
"Elena what are you doing here? I thought you were at the lake house with Damon?" Stefan accused
How did Stefan know I was at the lake house with Damon? Who told? I wasn't really in the mood to talk to Stefan about my relationship with Damon. I was emotionally unstable right now, and I'm afraid that if I start I would undoubtedly break down. And I want about to give Stefan that satisfaction.
"I had to come home unexpectedly." I stated trying to beat around the bush. I wanted to give Stefan the least amount of information as I could.
"Why?"
"Stefan...I'm really tired from the drive ... and everything I just want to get some rest." I turned around retreating to Damon's bedroom. I couldn't wait to crawl in between the sheets, and let the fragrance that was just Damon elude all my senses.
"What are you keeping from me Elena? Did you finally realize that Damon is wrong for you?" Stefan spat out. Normally I would ignore him and keep walking, but Stefan couldn't be more wrong. How can Stefan believe that he could possibly be a better person than Damon? Damon tries to hide it, but he cares. He cares a lot. Not just for me, but for: Caroline, Jeremy, Matt, and even Stefan. He can deny it all he wants, but I know the truth. So obviously Stefan has no right to judge Damon when Stefan is no better than him! I could feel the anger in my rising up in my throat like a volcano about to erupt. I could practically feel the heat rising off my skin. I whipped around and growled at Stefan.
"You have no idea what you're taking about!" I roared like a lion protecting its mate. "I left because you and Caroline cannot accept that I'm happy, and that what I feel is real."
"Elena, you are sired to Damon, so whatever you feel isn't real. You just feel that way because Damon wants you to feel that way." I couldn't believe Stefan could actually believe that. I had feelings for Damon before I was a vampire. How could Stefan not see that?
"No Stefan, You're wrong. I know what I feel is real. I have never been so sure about something in my entire life." I was done talking. I was tired of yelling, I just wanted to go to bed. Stefan was silent, and I could tell he was hurt. I decided that was enough emotional drama for one night.
"Goodnight Stefan." I finally said. He got the hint and walked toward the door. He looked back one more time like he was finally letting go; like I wanted him to do. I didn't want him to wait around for me to come to my senses. He believed that the cure will make me realize that I made the wrong choice, but I don't feel that way. I feel like I finally made the right choice for once in my life. Damon was my home, and I didn't used to get that. Now I do. I was scared of my feelings for him, and I was trying to shake them off. I just couldn't. Without him here I felt lost; like I was missing half of my soul. We are two halves of a whole, together we are unbreakable. Apart our light dims.
Retreating to Damon's room I crawled under the covers. I was physically and emotionally drained. The only thing getting me through this was, Damon. I needed to see him, hear him. Building up all the energy I had I dragged myself out of bed. The only thing running through my head was "Him." I grabbed my phone off the dresser and searched for his number. I paused to gather my thoughts and emotions. I hit the green button and listened to the monotonous ring through the phone. 'Come on pickup.' I pleaded through the phone. All I can say is that those few seconds were the most agonizing moments of my life. My dreams were shattered when the automatic voice message system picked up. I let out a disappointed breathe that I didn't even realize I was holding. At least I can leave him a message for him to hear later.
"Hey, it's me look, I know why you sent me away. You think that what I'm feeling for you is because of the sire bond, but I hate not being near you. And I miss you Damon. I just wish you would let me come to you." With that I hung up the phone hesitantly. A lone tear fell down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away, and crawled into the bed once more. I can't help but wonder if he thinks about me just as much as I think about him. I know he loves me, and I would be lying if I didn't say that I was falling in love with him. And I don't care what anyone else thinks. Not Caroline, not Bonnie, and definitely not Stefan. I wanted to be with Damon, and that was the beginning and ending of everything. Nothing else mattered.
BAM..that was it, this is the meaning of life. To love. Without love what is the point of anything? That is all everyone is looking for in their life. They say "you're not somebody till someone else loves you." Now I was making Damon someone. I could feel the sweet sensation of sleep start to take effect on me. I pretended Damon was right next me; whispering sweet things in my ear; Making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up on end. I shivered in delight, reminiscing in all the emotions Damon raises to the surface of my being. "I love him." I whispered into the black of night hoping at least someone would hear. I love him. I love him. I love him.