Chapter 1. The work of a monster.

It had been almost two years since Raven left; without a signal or clue as to when she's coming back. They all knew, Beas Boy knew, that it wasn't going to be easy and it wasn't going to be quick because she needed the time to train.

Since Trigon controlled her last time she made up her mind to not let that happened again and the only way was to leave for a time and learn how to control her emotions better since she couldn't just suppress her feeling anymore. Trigon could see right through them, what she needed was to train her mind and get stronger.

It was hard for every one of them.

Starfire kept telling them that she was going to return and that we should trust her but we all knew that she was more worried than anyone thinking that she could've gotten hurt or something yet she insisted on believing, giving them a little hope. She was hurt, in pain and missing her yet she kept up with a smile in her face still believing in her. No one was more loyal to her than Starfire so gracefully staying calm for all of them.

Cyborg, ha, Cyborg was angry. He just couldn't believe that she will leave and not give them any information of her whereabouts. But it wasn't like she didn't, she did as a matter of fact, she told them that she was going to go to places that no human had been in learning new strengths and knowledge, she told them that she will go to places on earth to meet with people who could help her on her journey and she'd been telling us of her journey through messages, letters and mails to them but one day she said she needed isolation from us and since then no one heard anything from her. But he wasn't having it, he was pissed and he made it show being hostile to his friends and picking up fights with them. He wanted to go and search for her but his pride kept him from show in it.

Robin in other hand had been tracking her down, he isn't going to let this go any longer, he tracked everyone who she said she'd met and been and everyone told him the same thing he already knew. Nobody knew where she was.

"Robin, you are becoming insane" Starfire had once told him. "Our friend Raven told us not to search for her that whatever it seemed it happen we needed to trust her and believe in her. She will return to us when she is indeed ready" But everyone knew it had been long enough now. Raven could go to places where time works different than here and she had told them that this would be over before they knew just because of that.

"She should've told us at least that she was alright" Cyborg had spat one day. "I can't believe our sis…" He swallowed the word hatefully as he glared down. "Raven… left like that…"

"But she told us she was fine! That she will be alright that we should trust her!" Starfire seemed to be the only voice of reason around here. The other boys only seemed what it done to them. Cyborg was angry. Robin was obsessed and Beast boy… Beast Boy was quiet.

It'd been hard to him to say goodbye to her even more now when he knew he loved her but when they didn't knew where she was. Beast Boy was just quiet, waiting, watching, silent and different. It had been weird for Cyborg to cope with it, he needed his upbeat friend to be sad by his side but Beast Boy seemed just not up for it, so he instead became angry.

"Do you even care!?" The cyborg man had yell at him once while Beast Boy just watched the sky through a window.

"I do care" The green one had replied with a surprise tone but not really caring to argue more hence the lack of explanation.

Starfire had conclude that Beast Boy was the one who was coping the worst. He seemed like what humans called depressed to her. Not interested, different and unsocial to even them, his friends. But to Robin and Cy he seemed fine or they didn't see. He was waiting, not caring that maybe she was hurt, scare, trap or even death.

"She's coming back" She once told him with a phony smile when she saw him lying on the couch. "She said to trust her" Beast Boy looked at her and made a weak smile but other than that he responded the same way. Silent.

He did talk to his fellow team mates when he needed or have something to say when off on missions and he wasn't like sad and moping he was… different. It was the best way to put it. Different. He didn't talk about Raven and he was constantly paying attention to any other thing staring into a void silently. It was disturbing. He didn't ate like he used to or played like he used to or even talk like he used to. He was kept.

"Is he alright?" Robin asked Starfire finally one day. She wanted to say yes but she knew he wasn't and now that Robin had noticed it was relieving.

"I do not know Robin" She responded sadly. "At first I thought that fried Beast Boy was just waiting for her but he seems distant… I have thought that maybe he is what some people experience as depression" Robin glanced at him sadly.

"We have to find her Star, we all know that he was closer to her than any of us. That's why I need your help to track her down. I talk to the guys who were in the place she stayed at last in Rome…"

"How did you manage such not easy thing?" She asked surprise. Robin blinked and couldn't help a smirk.

"I have some contacts Star" He said trying to cheer her up. "Anyway, they say that she spoke of a place on earth where she could train but also learn and…" Starfire cut him grabbing him by the shoulders.

"Robin! Raven told us to trust her" Robing quickly pushed her arms off him.

"If you don't want to help just say it" He walked away but before leaving he turned with a sigh and looked at her. "I'm sorry Star but I can't let one of my team mates disappear"

"I understand" She said softly. "But you have to understand that Raven is doing the training alone and told us to trust her whatever what…"

"But she shouldn't last this long… without saying a thing" Robin looked at Beast Boy who silently watch outside the big windows of the tower when he heard Cyborg yell in anger. "I don't know whose worst anymore, including us" He said with a soft smile. Star nodded as she clenched her fists hard. Decided she look at Robin.

"I'll help you Robin" She said with a decided smile. "For our friends" Robin smiled and sighed in relief. He needed help and for once he felt a little weight leave his chest.

"Thank you"

O O O

Beast Boy had insisted that he was okay, that he was fine, that he was just getting used to it and it was nothing different from what someone who missed someone did. It was getting in his nerves. Cyborg was now worried about him overall and being so angry.

"Guys, I really miss her but is you who can't just let it go" He blurted out one day fed up with all this. Bad choice of words he thought just as they left his mouth. He looked up at his friends who stare surprise and awestruck.

"What do ya mean 'let it go?'" Beast Boy shut his eyes frustrated. He got up and walked away but he was met by Cy strong arm gripping at his and making him stand there at his side. "Don't walk away from me bro and answer me" (He still called him bro at least) He said rather menacing. Star and Robin only looked uncomfortable trying to just not be awkward.

"I didn't mean it like that… you just don't understand" Beast Boy said trying to get him off of him but his grip grew tighter. "Let go" He said as a shock of pain went through his arm.

"I can't believe what ya sayin'… s'nothin to ya…" He loosen the grip but stood still staring at Beast Boy.

"I care more" He almost said too defiant. "It's Raven, she asked us something and you guys ignored her" He said hesitating but the worst struck hard in Cyborg ears as he let go of his friend.

"But…! What if…!" Cyborg stumble between his words as anger blinded his senses. That was an option that Beast Boy always failed himself to dispute with his friends. Nobody understood, nobody knew, nobody will even begin to comprehend what he felt.

"She's fine" He said softly. A phony smile decorated his face and it was the biggest lie he could ever make to his fried but even as it was fake Cyborg couldn't help to feel a little safer when he saw it.

"How could you say that?" Cyborg couldn't help to ask. The green boy shrug sadly and looked at the window. His friends look at where he was looking but quickly realize that he was as usual just staring into the void.

"I just know bro" He said deathly as he walked near the windows and sat there staring into the void. "I'll wait"

And as quick as Beast Boy had made feel Cyborg a little better he soon made him feel lost and sad as he quietly and in silence stood alone in his own thoughts abandoning his best friend. Robin and Star watched as Cyborg chuckle nervously and left to his room. He was alone without Beast Boy… but Beast Boy wasn't Beast Boy anymore.

He couldn't.

Not without her.

Beast Boy could no longer be he without Raven. Raven was his all now. And she was gone. He said to trust her but he couldn't let it go.

O O O

The first time Beast Boy knew he was in love with Raven was when he was 15 years old, a boy who hadn't really had any experience, heck, any luck with love. Every girl he had pursuit had never pay him any attention or they only played with his heart. But maybe it was because he only chased the girl he saw. He never got to see Raven before.

This wasn't one of those stories where the girl fell in love with the boy because he saw her from the beginning and he loved her from the start or vice versa and to be honest those stories are a fairy tell. You can't just see someone and fall in love and neither can you see someone who didn't want be seen.

Raven was a dark corner, the one where never got struck by the sunlight. She remain in dark, darkness being all she felt familiar to, embrace the coldness of her solitude and learn to be happy for her friends. But dare she not feel happy for herself. Hidden she'll remain hence her feeling untouched.

But she had forgot that Beast Boy was different and he quickly began to see her better. Even if she hid in that corner of hers, he glanced shyly at first. When he notice how weird she was but yet so unique and beautiful. The last catching it so little.

He could see in the dark.

Beast Boy began to understand the nature of Raven, it wasn't like she acted the way she did towards everyone because she was a cynical smug or a hater. She was afraid of feeling something and losing control. He had a hard time grasping the meaning of that.

One time that Raven couldn't control well her rage and her inner demons began to take over her persona was when Beast Boy began to realize the magnitude of this condition. The Teen Titans and Raven herself manage to subdue her and make her go back to her normal self but the damage was done. Her father Trigon knew of how weak she was and knew he could take advantage of her when she lose control again.

"Don't worry Raven" Starfire had told her once. "Everything is going to be fine" The red hair girl said with a smile as she tried to cheer up the girl.

Although nobody could understand what this meant, Raven mad the efforts to smile softly and nod at that statement. But she didn't stay arm crossed either, she train hard to be able to control her emotions better because with every they she passed with her friend she felt more and more and wonder if she could feel just as they.

Garfield remembered that day he couldn't take more of her secrets and decided to enter the solitude that was her room. It was dark and weird and full of book and objects so foreign to him but other than that the room seem like of a normal girl. He smiled to himself. The darkness could be a problem but to the green boy was nothing but child's play turning into a slender and fast green cat.

He had presume that she wasn't there, but she was. In the corner meditating over a circle in the floor, gracefully floating over it as she, in a trance, kept chanting an unfamiliar song like spell. It freak the poor boy but he was more fascinated than scared. She was beautiful but not really, she was more unique and fascinating but well… still really beautiful. A beauty he could have not possible had seen before.

He left her to be. Captivated and newly confirm that he had been so blind. She was his new adoration. Because it wasn't until he quietly left that room that his heart gave a hard struck that he knew that Raven was different from all the other girls he had like and seen. Because he had seen the other girls and forgot… now it was Raven all he could see and he couldn't forget.

O O O

One day Beast Boy was watching trough the window as he always did when he heard his friends arguing. Beast Boy couldn't care less of their conversation and discussions. They were always the same; what are we going to do? We need to find Raven? Where do we start? Is she even alive? And do not forget the shouts of Cyborg: You're not doing enough Robin! Am I the only one who cares!? And Robing could only say that he was doing all he could but nobody wanted to help him.

Star was always in Robin's side now, she too was becoming obsessed. But their star topic of discussions now was about Beast Boy and how he was doing. Cyborg insisted that he was being a pessimistic asshole and Star that he was depressed. Robin didn't knew what was going on with him.

They all knew that he cared more for Raven but still he looked as he cared little for her disappearance. He didn't look sad nor depressed. He seemed concentrated and focus but not on her nor them, in his own thoughts maybe.

"Maybe he knows something we don't?" Robin finally said when Cy and Star, and even himself, calm down from their early discussion. Star didn't comprehend what he meant at first saying that out of the blue but with a quick glanced at to where he was looking she understood.

"Our friend Beast Boy?" She needed to ask still. Cyborg turn to them and muffled a laugh.

"Ain't true, he would've told us" He said. But the quietness of Star and Robing made him question that statement. He was angry with Beat Boy but not trusting his friend… In anger he turn to where he was and began to walk towards him.

"Cyborg!" Robin called him not wanting him to begin a fight with him. The cyborg teen stopped but quickly continue his path to his friend.

As usual, Beast was not paying attention to his surrounds and didn't see the Cyborg approaching so it caught him by surprise when he heard the loudness of Cyborgs voice calling him. Beast Boy turn to him startled.

"Did ya hear me?" Cyborg asked a little annoyed by the lack of attention he was getting from his friend. The green boy startled blinked confused a few times and quickly relaxed.

"Come again?" He asked softly when he saw his friend getting angry but he could not care even a little.

"Oh! Okay let me make it easier to you" Cyborg said with a mocking tone flushed in anger as he spat does words he crouch next to his friend. "Do You. Or Do You Not. Know. Something. About Raven. That We Don't?" He asked loudly and slowly with a mocking phony grin that only made him seem angrier.

The youngest of the Titans sighed a little annoyed. "No, I don't and to be honest I'm getting tired of this" He sighed and with a soft grunt, he pulled himself up as Cyborg looked at him. "I'm sorry that I can't tell you what you want to hear bro but let's not" He said the last part with a treating tone to it.

Bad choice of words, again. It was the first thing that cross the green haired boy as he mentally face palmed himself, again; he saw Cyborg's face twist in an uncomfortable look mix with clear annoyance.

"What do I want to hear?" He asked trying to sound compose. Beast Boy would be intimidated once but not now, he kept still, looking at the void. At that damn window! Cyborg could not help but glare hatefully.

Robin walked in between the two guys not wanting another show like the other time. "Back off guys" Robin said sounding a little more defensive that what he intended. "Please don't" he added to soften his words.

He saw a big vicious smirk form in Cyborg's face and he done did it, he glared at Robin and then back at Beast boy who had stopped on staring into the void when Robin interfered but quickly continued to stare into nothingness trough out the window. But Cyborg didn't like that.

"You think I'm not good enough for your fucking attention!" He made motion to grab the green boy but he had been blocked by Robin; as quick as he can be he was gripping hard on Cyborg's robotic arm.

"My friends!" They heard Star yell coming to help Robin. She felt Cyborg pushed him away so she did the only thing she could to avert the fight. She pushed Beast Boy away blocking the strong arm of Cyborg with hers. It all went so fast to Beast Boy, one moment he was concentrated in his nothingness and later he was being pushed away from his thoughts as he heard Cyborg move to fight Robin and as quick as that happened he was on the ground.

Star shimmering green eyes lock with Cyborg's. "Star" he began to call a little menacing but she pushed him away.

"No! We are friends Cyborg!" She said with anger. "It is not Beast Boy's fault this is happening! Raven did the leave by her own choice" she said with anger. Beast Boy stood up confused, he frowned.

"Do you think is my fault?" Beast Boy asked his friend somehow offended by that reality.

"Oh! So now ya wanna talk 'bout this?" He spat out in between pants.

"Answer me" Garfield demanded softly. He heard Cyborg huffed and Robin could only stare at this revelation.

"Guys, you're edgy, just let it go" Robin tried to calm the dispute but the challenging looks between the two friends pay him no attention.

"I'm just sayin' that ya were the one speaking more to her if not even the last" He let out not caring of how harsh it could hurt his friend. The crushing look on his friends face made him feel some sick satisfaction. It was time he felt hurt. He'd been leaving all the hurting to him alone.

"W-what?" Beast Boy asked confused and hurt. "So what! You guys know how much I care for..."

"I just think that ya might have push her away" Cyborg said in a deep voice as he arched his brow in disdain trying to hurt him more, to get something out of him dammit!

"Cyborg!" Star reproach him as he heard Robin mutter something.

"HOW?!" Beast Boy asked exalted. Cyborg didn't answer. "Cyborg!" He tried again loudly.

"What do ya want me to say? Huh!?" Cyborg fist clench hard. "Why else would ya be so closed and distant now!? I'm only tryin to find some sense in all this madness! Like, I don't know... Why don't ya care!?" He yell with a tone that implied him being more hurt than angry. Beast Boy could only stare in shock not noticing how much he had been affecting his best friend.

He hesitated, but he took a few steps to Cyborg being as close as he could without making it weird. He saw Cyborg backing away from him and wanting to lash out in rage but his soul was pouring all what he had been wanting for so long frozen in panic of his own pathetic feelings. He wanted this, closeness with him. Understanding from his best friend.

All the scenarios he had created in his head of himself getting back at beast boy were all flushed away at the moment his friend acknowledged his hurting. It wasn't fair. He wanted to punch him but all he could do was succumb into sadness as he felt the green boy's hands on his arms.

"Stop, let me..." He tried to curse but Garfield's expression was one he had been craving for so long. How simple it was for him to just give him that pity expression. "I don't need ya pity" he said with a brittle voice. But it wasn't that and he knew it; Beast Boy had unintentional been hurting him, he missed Raven, he also cared for her and Beast Boy hadn't been there for him.

He had done a terrible thing. "Cy... I'm sorry" he said with a soft and brittle tone sounding genuinely sorrowful. Cyborg inhaled deep and struggle to keep his composure his features showing how much he needed his friend, he began to panic. He glanced to his left and saw Robin's and Starfire's eyes on them as they also looked down on him.

"Don't... Don't ya dare try and make this 'bout me" He manage to say as his breathing grew rapid and anxious. Beast Boy kept his hands lock on his arms and Cyborg try softly to pull away but it wasn't something he actually wanted so he didn't pull away, the boy kept his grip hard.

"It ain't about you... Is about us" Beast Boy finally said. "I was caught up in my own head that I forgot of the most important thing I have now... You Cy… And Star and Robin" Cyborg wanted to keep his anger on him but hearing his friend explaining so in point what he had been feeling made him feel better.

"You think ya know everything! But it ain't us that's the problem" He manage to still say. "It's all 'bout Raven... Why you're like you're? Don't ya fucking care? Huh!?" He said with a cunning smile. He saw Beast Boy squint his eyes in a resentful hurt look of his words. Beast Boy sighed and his hands finally let go of Cyborg.

His soft chuckle and excuse of a smile made Cyborg's heart sink. He didn't intend to be cruel but it was said and he couldn't back out. But he felt bad, he was his best friend after all and he cared for him so much.

"You know I do bro" he said with a thin voice.

"I thought I knew"

"I care for her more than you know" Beast Boy simply said. Cyborg squinted his eyes sadness invading his soul. He hated feeling like he needed to apologize to him and overall he hated that he made him feel like that.

"I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you... But I'm…" Cyborg huffed making little of his words with brutality Beast Boy's mouth drop surprise of his friend's cruelty

"You know it's true! I do care! With all my heart!" He said raising his voice. Cyborg fought the urge to forgive him. "I just needed to be alone" That last part was a lie. He didn't need to be alone, he didn't need to cope and he wasn't depressed. He was different without her. But they would never understand what he was doing.

"Man... Ya too fucking stupid" he continued. "We're bros we're 'sposed to be together..."

"I know, I know... "Beast Boy said with a weak smile as he wiped a tear out of his face that fail to keep on place. It broke Cy's heart filling that knot on his throat to burst. "I can't be the same as I was before... Not yet but please forgive me" Beast smiled once again but a smile just for understanding. "I'm sorry Cyborg" he walked to him and just as close, he looked at Star and Robin who had quietly listen to all this with an uncomfortable yet touching face. "I'm sorry guys. I haven't notice that my attitude was affecting you and I have no excuse. I've been selfish and what can I say..." He made a pause and with glistening eyes he looked up to Cyborg who only started at him surprise. "I'm just a heartbroken boy"

"Beast Boy" Star wanted to go and console him but he waved her away.

"I did wrong" He finally said.

Cyborg flared his nose when he heard the small chuckle that left the boy's body. Beast Boy made one less apology to his friends and gave them the best smile he could manage to do. He then turn away hearing a low complain sound coming from Cyborg but he quickly stop the motion when he started.

"But I'll do something about it" He said before leaving the room looking at his friends over his shoulder. "I'll help you Robin" This one arched his brow confused in a manner of question and when Beast Boy saw him he smiled. "I'll help you find her"

He closed the door after leaving those words to his friend's consideration; a faint smile forming in Robin's lips.

O O O

He once again was looking through the window but this time he did it less often not wanting his friends to think he was lying and that all he had say was just some lie.

Nobody understands how important it was to him what he was doing, that he waited, that he kept still, that he concentrated but how could they if they couldn't…

They couldn't listen… and all he did was listen to her. His ears were better than any others here and there catching things that nobody else could, not like him.

Staring through the window, not looking at anything just concentrating into the nothingness and hearing. All he could do was listen.