Notes: Ok, well, this is just a little side thing I'm doing, in between my work on Roses. I just couldn't wait to work on it or submit it (anxious, aren't I?). Anyway… This won't be updated all that frequently, just mainly when I get strong Karsh x Glenn urges… which I do quite often, so that's a plus.
This is shounen ai! I'm letting you know ahead of time there will be NO yaoi. I rather like my account and I don't want the FF.net police to delete it, tyvm. The main coupling is Karsh x Glenn, with some minor Dario/Karsh and Karsh/Riddel (well that's unavoidable).
It's told in Glenn and Karsh's point of views. I'll switch every chapter or so.
Oh, and thanks, Uftaki… I had this funny feeling that Glenn should be 5 (I even wrote him with a 5 year olds personality), but I wasn't sure.
Disclaimer: I am not SquareSoft. Therefore, I do not own Chrono Cross or any of its characters.
Envy-Chapter 1-
Glenn
I suppose I always envied him. Both of them, really, but him more than anyone else. I don't know why I did, Dario was so much stronger and always got the upperhand, but he… he always caused me to feel such envy. Such… longing.
I was too young when everything began to remember much. Dario would tell me about our parents sometimes, but he wasn't very old either when they died. To me, Zappa and Zippa are my parents. Maybe not by blood, but they've always been there for me.
When I met them I was too confused to realize what was going on around me. Dario was with me, and it was more like an outing without our parents (and although I'll never tell anyone, I was very frightened). The Zappas seemed like nice people and I wasn't really scared by them. Dario would kid me about that a lot - almost any stranger frightened me.
~-~-~
I don't know what's going on. Oniisan is with me right now, he's standing right beside me, but he sounds weird. There are new people here, who are they? They look kind of chubby... I like that, they look nice.
"Are you sure this is a good idea, Zappa?"
"Positive. They seem like good kids. We can put 'em in the cabin out back, I knew I'd built that thing for some reason."
"That little one is so young..."
The chubby man patted the other person - I think it's a woman, "All the better reason. Hey, what was your name young man? And how old are you?"
"Dario. I'm 12. Glenn is 5." I looked up at oniisan - he doesn't look very happy.
"Oniisan..."
"Not now, Glenn."
"Well, Dario, you're the same age as our boy. Speaking of which... where's that boy off to now, Zippa?"
"Oh, who knows? He might have gone into town."
He grunted and raised his arms to cross over his chest. He looks kind of funny - mean lookin' but he doesn't act mean. And chubby people aren't mean, right?
"Oniisan..."
"I said not now, Glenn."
"Why hello..." the woman knelt down before me, smiling, "I'm Zippa. What's your name?"
I glanced up to oniisan for conformation - was she a nice lady? Could I tell her? He shrugged and looked away. Oniisan sure is acting weird... "Glenn."
"Hello, Glenn. Nice to meet you." I nodded - that's the right thing to do, I think, when someone says 'nice to meet you,' you nod. She smiled at me and ruffled my hair, letting me know that I had done the right thing. I hate having my hair ruffled, though. I don't think I'll like her much. I jerked away from her hand and ran to hide behind oniisan, clinging to his pants.
"You're such a baby, Glenn."
"Am not!"
"Then don't hide from people."
Always eager to please oniisan, I peaked out from behind him and looked up sheepishly at the woman. I may not like her, but I had to pretend like I did - for oniisan.
"Now look it what you did, woman. He must not like to be touched. Ye don't know us that well, do ye?" I raised a hand, pointing to my chest and he nodded. I bobbed my head up and down once and then ducked behind oniisan again. Even if I am a baby, I'm allowed to be, I don't know these people that well.
"Where is that boy? Zappa, I'm going to head into town to see if I can find him."
"Ah let him stay. He'll meet 'em sooner or later. Come on boys, lemme show you to your new home." Home? Did we move? What is he talking about? I held fast to oniisan's pants with my small hands and followed him and the man past a gate and a funny yellow stuffed man and into a wooden house. "Now, you two will be sharin' this cabin. We don't have much furniture now, didn't get a chance to get much before you came, but there's a couple beds and some blankets."
"It's fine, thank you sir."
The chubby man laughed and brought his hand down roughly on oniisan's shoulder, shaking him, "Don't call me sir, now! I'm Zappa. You'll be callin' the misses Zippa. And when that good-fer-nothing son of mine gets home, you'll be callin' him by his name."
"Yes si - "
"What did I just tell ye?"
"Yes, Zappa."
"That's better! Now, I'll let you get acquainted with the room. Zippa'll come get ye when supper is ready." He nodded to us and left the building, shutting the door soundly behind him. Oniisan pried my hands from his pants, walked to the bed near the door, and fell backwards onto it.
It's a big room, I think. Maybe this will be fun! Although... I do wonder where mama and papa are. How are we all going to fit into this one place? And why did we move? I liked our house. "Oniisan?" I moved over to him and tugged on his leg, "Oniisan?"
"What..."
"Where are mama an' papa?"
Oniisan grumbled and rolled over, burying his face in the bed. "Nowhere..."
"When are they coming back?"
"Never..."
I blinked - that wasn't what I thought I'd hear, "Never? But… why?"
"I don't want to talk about it right now, Glenn... just let me go to sleep, please."
Nodding, I stepped back and glanced around the room. Chubby man was right - there wasn't anything here, really. Just a couple beds and a window. I liked the window, though. I toddled over to the far wall and got up on my tiptoes, trying to see outside. Drat - it doesn't help that I'm short. Grumbling, I jumped onto the bed, barely managing to pull myself on top, and crawled forward to look out the window. Just trees... all the work for trees. Sighing, I fell back into the bed and kicked my legs up in the air. There wasn't anything to do - oniisan was sleeping with his face in the bed, mama and papa weren't here, and I didn't have any of my toys with me.
Maybe... there was something to do outside? Or, I could go exploring the house next door! I nodded and jumped down off the giant piece of furniture - what was it with beds nearly as tall as you are? - and tiptoed out of the room. No reason in being loud enough to wake oniisan. A tiny smile crept onto my face - tricking oniisan was the best fun. Unless he caught you, then it wasn't so great. But that didn't matter right now, what mattered was... that yellow man outside! I shut the door behind me and glanced over at the man. Since when did men have poles stuck up them?
"Karsh!" I blinked and tilted my head - it could talk? "Karsh, where have you been? You know you were supposed to stay home today." Now, yellow men do not talk like mean chubby woman. Well, at least I don't think they do. I've never actually met a yellow man before.
"Yeah, yeah. Big deal. So we got some orphan kids comin' over, so what?"
"Ah... what's a orphan?" I'd heard that word several times already and I really, really wanted to know why people kept calling me an' oniisan that.
Chubby woman and unseen 'Karsh' stopped abruptly. Chubby woman raised a hand to her forehead and shook her head, then a girl stepped out from behind some bushes near the fence. Wait, isn't Karsh a boy's name? And she does kinda look like a boy, but...
"Is this one of them?" And kinda sounds like a boy...
"Yes... Karsh, this is Glenn, Glenn, this is my son, Karsh."
"You're a boy?!" I've never seen a boy that looked like a girl before!
Obviously, chubby woman hadn't either because she started laughing really, really loudly and Karsh just got red in the face and looked like he was going to explode. I giggled - exploding would be cool.
"I'm going to my room." He took a deep breath and looked straight at me. I still think he looks like a girl. Boys aren't pretty. Wait, did I just think that? Girls aren't pretty either! Icky!
"Karsh, please, he's only four."
"Hmph." Girly boy walked past me, glaring the whole time, until he finally had to turn his head to enter his room. Chubby woman glanced at me, then at her son, and followed him into the other house. Oniisan would like him - they both glare at me and get real red in the face when I say something wrong. I try real hard not to say anything wrong, really I do, but it's so fun to watch people turn red.
I took one last look at yellow man and turned to go back to oniisan. Maybe I should go follow chubby woman and her son, but I'd probably get in trouble. I like the color red, but not on me. I raised a hand to the door and pushed inward, peeking my head inside. Oniisan is sitting on the bed now, facing the window and looking at something in his hands. I can't see his face but he sounds like how I get if one of my toys breaks.
"Oniisan?"
"Glenn!" He shoves whatever was in his hands underneath the pillow on the bed, brings his forearm to his eyes and rubs them quickly, then turns to face me, "I thought you were outside."
"I was. Chubby people's kid is here - he's funny, he look like a girl. I fink you'll like him. Oniisan?" I walked over to him, looking at his face. Did I make him angry again? I was sure I hadn't said anything wrong to him in the past minute, but his face is red.
"Uh, yeah, Glenn?"
"Did I do somefing wrong?" Oniisan blinked and stared at me. I'd done it again! That's twice in a minute!
"What makes you say that?"
"Your face is red."
He blinked again, and then smiled. Only, I don't like this smile. Usually oniisan has a nice, big smile, but this one is kind of sad. Almost like how mama smiles at me when she's unhappy with something I did but wants me to feel better. He stood and walked over to me, then kneeled down and opened his arms. Ok, who is this person and what has he done with oniisan? Oniisan never wants a hug - he's oniisan! Strong, firm and kind oniisan. He doesn't hug for no reason.
His face is getting sadder as I stand here and I think that he really does want a hug. Blinking, I step forward and stand in front of him, letting him wrap his arms around me. Oniisan buries his face in my shoulder and lets out tiny whimpering noises - a bit sadder then when I break my toys or stub my toe. Something is really wrong with oniisan, he never cries! "Oniisan! Whatsamatter?"
"Glenn..." his voice is cracking and he pushes me away - just a bit, enough so I can see his face. He looks really, really sad. My eyes start to water - I can't stand oniisan sad! It's not right! "Oh, don't cry, Glenn, it's ok." He releases an arm and wipes the tears away from my eyes, "I'm sorry I'm crying."
"I don't wan' oniisan to be sad..."
He let out a funny laugh - kind of like he's choking but wants to laugh anyway, "You don't? Well, I won't be then. For you, Glenn, I'll be happy." He tried to wipe tears away from his face but they didn't really stop falling. I pouted and raised a chubby hand to help him. Oniisan looked at me funny again. Only, more happy, but he kept crying anyway. "T-thanks, Glenn."
"Anytime!" I smiled - I'd learned that word from him a little while ago. "Oniisan?"
"Y-yes?" He lowered his head, trying to hide his tears from me.
"Where are mama and papa?"
"Oh, Glenn..." He let out a cough - well, almost a cough. It sounds almost like he's choking, "They've gone away."
"Away? When'll dey be back?"
"That's the thing, Glenn..." he looked up at me and I could feel my eyes watering again. How could I have made him so sad so fast? "They won't be."
"Whaddya mean?"
"I mean... we won't be seeing them again for a long time."
"Why?"
He choked again, "Because there are a lot of bad people in the world, Glenn."
I gasped - did someone hurt mama and papa? "Are dey gon' be ok?"
"Yeah, Glenn," he wiped tears from his eyes again, "They'll be fine. No one is gonna hurt them again."
"Dey're gone f' good, aren't dey oniisan?" Tears fall freely from my eyes - I don't know why, but something inside me really hurts and I can't stop crying.
"Yeah, yeah they are."
"Oh... oniisan?"
"Y-yeah?"
"It'll be ok. You got me."
Water stopped falling down his face for a few seconds and he looked at me, blinking. Then, he smiled - not a sad smile this time, one of those strong smiles that I love about oniisan so much. "Yeah, that's right, Glenn. We've got each other."
"I said somefing right?!"
He nodded, closing his eyes, "Yeah, Glenn, you did. Thank you."
"Anytime!"
There was a knock on the door behind us, then a creak. Oniisan let go of me, stood, and turned to face the window. I blinked and turned to glance at chubby woman behind us. She was peaking inside the room, watching oniisan. I really don't think I like her much.
"Am I interrupting something?"
"N-no." Oniisan's voice is still choking. He must still be crying. Chubby woman did one of those pity smiles again and looked down at me. I muster up the biggest, meanest look I can and glare back at her. She just sort of looks at me funny then laughs. I must still not have a mean look...
"Well, I'm just coming in to tell you that dinner is ready. You boys can come in whenever you want, but if you want it hot I'd come in now. Karsh and Zappa are big eaters, too, so I'll save you a couple plates."
"Thank you."
"Yeah, fanks." I cross my arms and pout, still glaring at her. She just laughs again and leaves, closing the door. Why does she laugh at me so much? Oniisan sighed and turned to face the door. His face is still a little red, but it's not as bad as it was. He wipes his eyes a few times with his hands then kneels down and does the same for me.
"We better go and eat with them."
"Do we gots to?" He nodded and I sighed, "Oh alright." I turned and walked to the door, reaching up and turning the handle to open the door. Oniisan followed me out of the room and across the lawn to the other house.
They sure have a lot of food. There was a table set up in the middle of their main room, next to a big hot box of fire. Chubby people and their son were already sitting around the table, shoveling food into their mouths. The chubby people stopped eating and looked at us. "Ah there ye are!"
"Sorry if we were late."
"Ah, that's no problem, we started without ye! Sorry 'bout that, but we gotta eat you know!" He laughed loudly and glanced at the girlish boy - who was still eating - and gave him a swift kick beneath the table. He yelped and dropped the drumstick in his hand.
"Watch it!"
"Dario, Glenn, this is my son, Karsh. He's got no manners but he works hard - when you make 'im."
"Dad!"
Oniisan smiled and gave a short bow to Karsh. He glanced down at me, clearing his throat, and I bobbed my head quickly. Karsh grunted and waved a hand at us, "I've met the kid."
"Have you?" He looked to the woman and she nodded, "So ye have! Well, now ye just got one to get to know. Dario, why don't ye sit over here next ta Karsh an' me?"
Oniisan stood still, hesitating. I don't think he really wants to sit near either one of them. Lets go run away and join a traveling circus, oniisan! We can be a big act and never have to see chubby people and girly boy again! Although… I wouldn't really mind it if the girl-boy came to see us once in awhile. Unfortunately, oniisan doesn't seem to be picking up on my 'circus, circus, circus!' chanting, so he nods and sits on the corner of the table, in between the two. There's one seat left – next to chubby woman. I pout and take a step back, hoping to will myself invisible. I can do that, y'know, sometimes. If I just think hard enough I can go invisible and no one ever notices me.
"Come sit down, Glenn."
Aww… it didn't work! Chubby woman's looking at me, trying to make me sit down next to her. No way! I don't sit next to evil people! Let me trade with girly-boy, so I can sit next to oniisan. He's not evil.
"Karsh, maybe you should trade seats so Glenn can sit next to Dario?"
Chubby woman's not so evil after all! "No." The culprit – girly boy! Dario sighs and stands, walking over to me. He kneels next to me and puts an arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer so he can whisper.
"Please, these people have been very kind to us. Tomorrow you can sit next to me, just sit over by Karsh and Ms. Zippa for now, alright?"
Pouting, I uncross my arms and kick the floor, "Oh, fine. But I don' like it!" I sighed and shuffled my feet over to the chair, climbing up into it – with the help of Ms. Zippa, which I didn't like much – and picked at my food.
Dinner was… different. After I'd sat down, chubby man had slammed his hand onto poor oniisan's back, causing him to choke on his water. Actually, the water came out of his nose, which I thought was really funny. He didn't seem too happy, though. Girly-boy and chubby woman just sort of chuckled – although I think girly-boy giggled – and ate their food. Well, at least they didn't get mad at me for laughing at oniisan.
Chubby man talked about how he'd put some meat on us – I hope he doesn't! I think he's nice and all, and chubby woman isn't so bad after all, but I really don't want to be any chubbier than I am. I told him so, and chubby-woman looked horrified, but he just laughed louder and said he meant muscle. I guess that's ok, right? I want to be strong like oniisan! No, stronger! I want to beat oniisan!
Dario just sort of nodded and mumbled a thank you and did his absolute best to not draw attention to himself. Which failed. Because chubby-man pointed to girly-boy and said they'd have to fight tomorrow so he could know how strong oniisan was. I want to fight, too! I said so, but he just laughed and said he'd give me a stick and I could hit the yellow man. Well… I guess that's not so bad. I have something against yellow man; he bugs me. There's something not natural about an all-yellow man on a stick.
Girly-boy didn't talk much, though. Mostly just ate loudly and gave side-ways glances to oniisan. I think they'll get along, I mean, he kept looking at him and it wasn't a mean look. Just… like he was thinking about something. I guess he was 'sizzling him up' or something. I'll have to ask oniisan about that later. Chubby-woman kept shuffling food on my plate, though. I'd finish it, and she'd put more on it. My stomach really, really hurts right now. Oniisan's in the bathroom, though, so I can't do anything about it. I kind of wished that girly-boy had said something, though, even if all he does is grunt and say 'no' all the time.
Oniisan's back from the bathroom, finally. He looks funny, like he's a bit yellow. "Hi, oniisan!"
"Ugh…" he goes from yellow to green and runs out of the door again. I guess he ate more than I did? Maybe chubby-man hit him too hard. Note to self: do not sit next to chubby-man; he will make you snort water and turn green.
I sigh again – oniisan sighs a lot, so I think I should too – and kick my feet against the bed beneath me. Outside, there's a loud "HA!" followed by the sound of wood hitting something. Then another "HA!" and a "HOO-AA!" Sounds like someone is having fun. I want to go hit stuff and make funny noises!
Nodding, and deciding that hitting stuff is more fun than sitting and waiting for oniisan to come back and run back out again, I jump down from the bed that I took so much effort to climb onto, and run out of the building. The sun went down a little while ago, and I should have gone to bed, but since no one came in to tuck me in or tell me a story I stayed up. So, anyway, it's a bit dark outside and the moon isn't very high, but there's still some light from the sun. It's kind of pretty. There must be a big city here since I can see several lights from other buildings. We live somewhere out in the country, and it's always pitch-black after the sun sets.
Another grunt and smack of wood draws my attention back to why I came outside. There's girly-boy, standing with a wood-axe, chopping at a standing log. I walk a little closer to him and watch him hit the wood again. "Why dontchya just kick it over and chop it dat way?"
He jumps a bit and looks around, then down to me. He musta not heard me – not a very good warrior if you ask me!
"Huh? Oh… I'm not chopping it." For some reason he thinks this is a good answer and goes back to hitting the wood.
"Well, what'd da wood ever do to you?"
"What?" He stopped again and glanced at me.
"You choppin' it for no reason!"
"I'm training."
"Oh." I walk over to the fence just a few feet away from him and the log and lean against it. "Well… whaddya trainin' for?"
"Fighting." He sounds a bit annoyed at me – I guess I'm interrupting him. Oh well, I don't care.
"Why?"
"Because I want to be stronger."
"Why?"
"Why do you ask so many questions?" He sighed and slammed the axe into the log, the loud sound echoing around the lot. He leans over and rubs his hands on his pants and walks over to me, leaning up against the fence. "I like training. And I want to be strong, like my father."
"Chubby man?"
"Heh, yeah."
"You don' look like 'im!"
Girly-boy tilted his head back and laughed. He doesn't laugh like a girl – it's rougher, heartier. "Well, most people don't think I do. Mom says I take after her brother."
"Oh!" I nodded and pretended like that meant something. I'm good at that – it makes people happy when I pretend like I know what they're talking about.
"So, why do you ask so many questions?"
"Well… you wanna be stronger, I wanna be smufer!"
"Ha!" He leaned forward and elbowed me, "You mean smarter?"
"Yeah, dat too."
Girly-boy smiled and straightened, leaning against the fence again, "Well, you don't seem too bad. I've met worse three year olds."
"I am not free!" I can't stand it when people think I'm three just cause I'm short! It's not my fault. "I'm five."
"Oh well excuse my mistake!"
"Well… you don' seem so bad too."
"Ah, thanks, I guess."
"Dat's a competent, dummy."
"Of course it is."
He's quiet now, looking at the dim glow of the house thoughtful. I have a short attention span, so I'm already kicking the fence. Girly-boy notices my restlessness and looks down at me, "So, it's Glenn, right?"
"Yup! Name's Glenn. An'… Glenn to my friends."
"Well, Glenn, I'm Karsh. I didn't really say hello properly before."
"No you didn't!" Karsh laughed and bowed to me, and I gave him a quick nod. I don't think he deserves much more respect than that!
"Karsh!" He glances to the house, and there's chubby-woman standing in the door looking at him, "Go to bed!"
"Yeah, yeah."
"Now!"
"Well, I guess I ought to go, then, Glenn." He nods to me and takes a few steps forward, and then stops and looks back at me, "Shouldn't you be going to bed?"
"Well… no one's tucked me in…"
Karsh blinked and gave me a weird look – well, I think it was a weird look, I can't really tell now since it's getting darker. He made some weird noise and knelt down to face me, "Isn't your brother in there?"
"He's in the bafroom!"
"Ha! Well, the first day of mom's cooking will do that to you."
I nodded severely and rubbed my stomach. It still hurts a bit, but I haven't noticed as much while I was outside.
"Well, I'll stay with you until he gets back, ok?"
I turned my nose up and crossed my arms, looking away, "I'm not a baby!"
"Then you don't need someone to tuck you in. Sweet dreams, Glenn." He smiled and ruffled my hair – which as I said really bugs me – and turned to run into their house. Chubby woman stepped outside and walked over to me, kneeling down, "It's bedtime for you too!"
"Aww, do I have to?"
"'Fraid so! Now, come on and lets get you tucked in." She stood and offered her hand to me. I loosened my arms and looked at her hand. Now, I have to say, there is no one in the world I would want to tuck me in other than mama or oniisan. But I think if Karsh had asked I would've said 'ok' because he reminds me so much of oniisan. He's a bit mean at first, like oniisan, but is real nice once you get past that, like oniisan. Chubby woman isn't like mama, though, and I don't want her to tuck me in. I shake my head and run to our house, seeing oniisan walking towards the door from the other building, clutching his stomach and doubling over.
Chubby woman didn't follow me, since only oniisan came in after me. I climbed up into my bed and sat there for a while. I've never gone to bed without being tucked in. Oniisan doesn't notice he just climbs into his bed, groaning. I guess his tummy hurts too much to tuck me in. I look down at my hands, which I can barely see in this light, and let my shoulders slump. I don't like this. I want someone to come in and tell me good night and give me a kiss on the forehead, like mama always did. I'm starting to regret turning chubby woman down, and Karsh even more. Slowly I push the covers down and climb under them, curling up into a ball underneath them. Closing my eyes, I let out a tiny whimper – but not loud enough for oniisan to hear, I never want to sound weak – and clutch at the blankets.
---
Erm… read and review if you like ^_^;;
Extra:
Karsh: You want me to tuck you in?
Glenn: Uhm… no… that's ok (coughchildmolestercough)
Karsh: Oh come on let me tuck you in! I'LL BE GENTLE!
Glenn: AHH! ONIISAN!