"Damon.." I breathed his name against the crook of his neck. His skin was so cool, but oddly warm at the very same time. I've grown used to this: us, together, sharing the same bed and, every so often, the same skin as well. We're not exactly intimate and that surprises me. I've known Damon to have women in the past. I've always imagined he'd have an unquenchable thirst (and I'm not talking blood) for women and especially for the one he loved. But he isn't. He is very sensitive creature with the belief that love doesn't always equal sex. He is perfectly content to lay with me, alone, and trace the lines in my skin or just watch me protectively until we both fall asleep. He is even content with me wanting to shower alone during the times where the house is quiet and vacant except for the two of us. Our love is so genuine, and pure, that I find myself often confused as to why we weren't this way from the moment we met. And then it clicks in my mind and I know why: because of me.

And …because of Stefan.

His body shudders beneath me and I press my lips just beneath his jaw. We are both just recovering from bliss, by the way, which is why we're moving slowly and savoring each touch. I said we weren't intimate all the time. That doesn't mean we don't both have needs and tonight was just one of those occasions where we decided to act upon our love for each other and explore it. Damon's love is wild and impulsive, which means I never know what he's going to do to me next. He can take me to great heights but he could also make me sink very low. Quite the skill, really. But I doubt I'd feel anything like this at all if I wasn't in love with him.

"What time is it?" I whisper, though I clearly know it's early morning. Early morning is my favorite time to 'explore' with him, when I do. Reason behind it is that I'm very bold in the morning and I'll just leave it at that.

"Time for you to get a watch." he murmurs, chest rumbling from when I pressed my lips to his jaw.

I scoff and decide to roll off of him — which reminds me that I'm wearing nothing but an old competition T-shirt from when I was a cheerleader. I feel Damon's eyes, hot and heavy, against my back but I successfully ignore him and walk over to my dresser. My choice of underwear isn't anything fancy. I could care less, to be honest. And then my eyes switch to my alarm clock and read the numbers 8:21 AM. "It's not that early."

"Your tone of voice implies you thought it was earlier." Damon notes, getting out of bed rather quicker than the average human. He's already dressed and I curse his speed because a part of me actually wanted to look at his bare chest. I shake my head and try to clear the disappointment.

"Well, yeah." I yawn. "I thought it was a lot earlier."

He merely smirks my favorite smirk and takes my hands into his. He leans forward and plants a gentle kiss on my forehead. My eyes close gently and I lean into his display of affection.

We've been this way for a while. Almost two years, I think. Probably less, but when he kisses me another face flashes in my mind. It isn't because I love that person more but that I know that person is hurting deeply. I sigh heavily.

"What's wrong?" Damon's voice, husky with the morning, asks. I run a hand through my hair, pulling it away from my face and across my right shoulder. I meet his handsome blue eyes and feel guilty for saying what I'm about to say.

"It's just..I've been thinking about Stefan these past few days."

Immediately I see him go wary. Damon has without a doubt always believed that I'd go back to Stefan. That, for some reason, I'd wake up randomly and decide that he isn't good enough for me and that Stefan would always be the one I wanted. Stefan has remained in contact with us and is still pretty much a douche to both Damon and I, but I love him. He was someone I loved with everything I had and no matter what you do that feeling never really fades away. Even if someone better comes along. Someone that could make you forget the feelings you had and forget all the hurt you felt before. Someone like Damon.

"And?"

"And..I just feel like this is so wrong." Damon pulls away for me so I reach toward him and hold his face in my hands. "Not us. We're not wrong. But how he feels…Damon, he's hurting. He's hurt and I want to change that. Don't you? Doesn't it hurt you to see him everyday and know that he's hurting?"

"My brother's going through the same thing I was from the moment I met you. He wants you. And you've chosen me, right?"

I can't agree because my tongue doesn't work anymore. It's gone numb and Damon takes my quietness as a disagreement. He pulls out of my hands. "Are you saying you'd go back to him, then?"

"Damon, no, I-"

"Elena, you chose me. You chose me the moment you decided to spend the night with me. Or are you sharing us? You figure you'd have me until Stefan stopped being a dick, then?" He's harsh with me and tears form in my eyes. Everything was so perfect - why was he ruining it?

"Damon, I love you. But I love Stefan too. You've known that. You've always known that." I struggle to find the right words but he still takes it very harshly. And I expect him to, because he's sensitive on this subject and I know it hurts him to hear me admit my love for his brother.

"Elena, you need to choose. You need to make a choice. You can't have us both." He whispers. I swallowed the thick knot in my throat. I know that he's right. I never decided I was going to love both of them and I never decided on who I would love more…

Who do I love more?

You'd think something like that would be easy. But unless you have been in my position you will never really know what it is like to have to choose between two people. Two very different people, but worst of all, two men that are brothers and will always be brothers. I feel sick to my stomach just watching Damon watch me. I feel like I've hurt him somehow; hurt him so much that he won't ever be able to shake the feeling. I love him. And that hurts Stefan. I love Stefan, and that hurts Damon.

I'm a monster.

Damon runs his hand through my hair and stares deeply into my eyes. I fall into them, lost among the blue, and he whispers, "I will always love you, no matter what. You know that, Elena. And I think you need time to process that. You need to be alone. I'll be at the boarding house. And so will Stefan, too. Just come over when…you decide what you need to decide, then." His tone is rather tired and confused, but he tells me these words nonetheless. I know it's painful for him. It's painful for me, too. I nod and he leans forward to kiss me on the lips.

He always takes my breath away, each and every kiss.

Just when I want the kiss to deepen, he pulls away and says goodbye with these words: "I love you, Elena."

He's gone before I take time to say it back. Which is strange, because if anyone needs reassurance in their life it's Damon. He is so lost, like a tiny child, and he craves affection and desire. If I don't tell him I love him, he'll start to lose belief that I do. But I'm pretty sure that our conversation only minutes ago was all the 'reassurance' he needed.

I take a deep breath and soon find myself with my head in my hands. He wants me to decide. He needs me to decide. But how can I? How can I when I love them both? Even after everything Stefan has done to me, I can't forget the way I felt (feel) about him. I could say the same thing about Damon as well. Damon has hurt me, my family, threatened me…but yet Damon Salvatore is the sweetest man I've ever met. He's lost, but aren't we all? He's been hurt and he's loved and his heart had been split into two. But still he thrives. And Stefan has hurt and killed and betrayed but my skin till burns with the memories we've shared. How he touched me, so. How he kissed me and how he whispered to me that he loved me and for once in my life I knew somebody meant it.

And I can't help but think "What if?"

What if Klaus never came to find me. Would Stefan and I live happily ever after? Would I still make love to Stefan and not Damon? Or would I, perhaps, lose myself along the way and become intoxicated by the way Damon's eyes seduce me with one look and the way his arms flex beneath his black shirts? Would I eventually have betrayed Stefan?

So either way, was I destined to become this monster?

The only one who would really understand would be Katherine, I remind myself. But then again, she slept with both of them at the same time. I would never do that and I have never done that. How monsterous could I be? I've fallen for two brothers that both have fallen for me as well. And now I must choose. So I must ask myself: Who do I love more, and why?

I spend hours trying to decide. The house is vacant, so while I think I prepare myself a meal. I think while I clean. I think while I sort through clothes. I think while I pick up photos of my parents and Jeremy and Aunt Jenna. I think while I get into my car. I think while I drive over Wickery Bridge and I still think when I sit in the driveway of the boarding house.

I think while I knock on the door.

As it opens, I decide.

"Elena." Damon greets me. There is no smirk on his face which means he understands why I'm here. Good. I almost feel like bursting in tears, to be quite honest. To just cry and cry and cry and run toward my car as fast as I possibly could. But what would that solve? Nada. Nothing.

Hell, I'm sure he's as sick to his stomach as I am. Losing me is his worst fear, I know that much. "Is Stefan here?"

His brow crumbles. "Come in."

I walk in like I own the place (technically, I do) and demand that both Stefan and Damon sit in the living room while I discuss something with both of me. When Stefan emerges from upstairs he is wearing his favorite pokerface. He meets my eyes, blinks once, and then sits on the sofa next to his brother. Both of them are so beautiful. My heart aches with the sad realization I'm about to lose one of them forever.

Just as I open my mouth to speak, I hear my own voice speak up from behind. "Nice to see you too, Elena."

I spin around and face the head bitch herself. "Katherine?" my voice cries out disbelievingly. Why was she here? I almost expect to find a change about her since I last saw her - longer hair, taller, bigger boobs…anything. But she's the same, upholding the same beauty she always has. Everything on her looks better than on me even though we are identical. I know I haven't changed at all in a year except grown half an inch. If even. Stefan stands from the sofa and I watch, horrified, as he puts himself between both of us.

"What's going on?" I sound like a ten year old little girl about to be told her puppy died. I say that because Stefan's looking at me like he's going to say just that. Damon puts a hand on my shoulder from behind but I don't turn around. I only have eyes for Stefan.

"Elena," he begins. "Damon told me why you're here. You are here to make a choice, aren't you? To choose who you love…more..the most…between me and Damon. But I can't let you decide. I've loved you so much and I'm always going to love you. You are beautiful, and strong…but I can't."

My voice breaks and my eyes water. What was he saying? Why did any of this even matter? This morning I was sleeping with Damon and now I was crying because Stefan was telling me he couldn't love me anymore? What the hell? What..the..hell! Just…what the hell! "Stefan?" I scowl. "What are you saying? What..what do you even mean?"

"I mean that things have changed. It wasn't a choice between me and Damon and you know it. I can see it in your eyes. When you say my brother's name..you say it with such pure love. I was never going to be your choice. Don't you see that? I do. I have. I've seen this outcome the moment I learned you've been with Damon. From the moment you kissed him and told me that you did it. You weren't guilty. You were never going to feel guilty about it."

"Stefan, I don't know what's going on." I admit, frustrated. "How do you know? How are you positive that I wasn't going to pick you? I made my choice. That's why I'm here. To tell you who I've chosen! What if that's you? And now you're telling me this?"

Stefan's eyes are cold. "If you have chosen me..it doesn't matter. Because I don't want you that way anymore, Elena." And I watch in agony as he reaches back and takes grasp of Katherine's hand.

Katherine, I should mention, is an angel. Her face shows no gloating. She doesn't prove to me in any way that she's won the famous game she has always desired to play. She simply watches me with a tired expression, peeking out from behind Stefan's broad shoulder. My eyes flicker between the two of them.

"Since when?" I ask, voice breaking. "When did this happen? I thought you…you hated her. You hated her so much-"

"I hated her because of what pain she's caused me. But Elena, it was always her. For me..it's always going to be her. I've loved her since 1864 and I will love her until I die. Her blood made me what I am. I still feel fire in my veins just thinking about her. It was never supposed to be anyone but her." he turns and looks at his beloved. I feel sick to my stomach, like I've been betrayed.

But not really, because it was never supposed to be Stefan, either.

I turn to Damon and take in his expression. He's amused and otherwise calm, however his eyes betray him by telling me that he's hurting. "Damon.." I whisper.

"Were you going to choose him?" he asks simply.

"No." I say strongly, and desperately, hoping that he will believe my word. And he should, for I am telling the honest-to-God truth.

"How do I know that? How do I believe that after Stefan's affections are no longer on the line? How do I know that I'm not the back-up plan?"

"Because when you kiss me, I melt. When you kiss me I can't remember my own name and when I think of every awful, horrible thing you did to me I still love you with every part of me.. When I think about women that had you I get jealous. So jealous I feel pure rage. When I look into your eyes I feel at home. And safe. Protected. You take me to heights I've never been before and never will be again without you." Tears pour down my cheeks, quick and desperate. "It wasn't going to be the same. Stefan's not the same, I'm not the same, and neither are you. It's just me and you, Damon. I wouldn't lie to you. I would never want to use you or…or..make you some stupid back up plan of mine. I just want you, and only you. When you opened that door it was so hard for me not to just wrap my arms around you and kiss you and hold you-"

I'm interrupted by a feverish kiss. My hands lock around his neck, pulling him close. I can taste my tears rolling over our locked mouths. I cry into him and he pulls away. His strong, protective embrace encloses me and I am home. I sob into his chest, tears of joy. And at this point, I don't care if Stefan is watching. I don't care if Katherine sees.

I once would have blushed at mentioning to Damon that I loved him while Stefan watched, but now, my love for Damon has blossomed into something that I can't control. "It's you. It's always you." I whisper.

I peek out from Damon's hold and watch as Stefan and Katherine exchange a brief kiss. Despite the fact that Stefan loves her, I have to know. "Katherine used both of you, Stefan. How do you know her love is real? She compelled you last time."

I'm bold, and outright, but it's for Stefan's benefit. I may not love him like I love Damon but he will always be a brother to me. We would always have our memories and I'll be damned if Katherine breaks him again.

Katherine challenges me like a feral cat and I almost shrink into Damon, fearful of her words. Damon tightens his grasp around me. "My love is real, Elena." Then her words soften as she stares into Stefan's eyes. "It was real. It is then and it is now. Everything I did, everything I do, it's for Stefan. All these years I've waited for him. I waited for him to love me again."

"You loved Damon." I point out childishly. "How do I know you won't try to take him from me? I don't. I don't trust you."

"Damon is nothing more to me than what I imagine Stefan is to you, now. I will always love Damon. But it's Stefan I want. It's Stefan I will always want." She places her full lips onto Stefan's and I look toward Damon so I don't have to watch. No, scratch that. I don't want to invade. They deserve privacy, I guess.

Damon looks down and smiles at me, so I smile back as he leans down to place a gentle kiss on my nose. I laugh, and with his thumb he wipes away the remaining tears on my face.

I guess nobody can be sure of the future. Katherine may be lying, but as her doppleganger, I think I can tell when she's lying. I don't think she is, either. She loves Damon, but she loves Stefan more. And I love Stefan, but I love Damon more. It's a win-win…kind of. Besides, even if she did try to steal Damon - it wouldn't happen. Damon loves me more than anything or anyone. And I love him. It would always be us. Damon and Elena.

And from the sounds of Stefan and Katherine heading their way upstairs, I guess it's always going to be them, too.