Warning: Some random stuff and...weirdness. It's our first fan fic we wrote together so..yeah. Hope you like the first chapter!

Disclaimer: We don't own Fruits Basket! If we did...we'd have Kyo and Haru. -smirks-

Hatori stood next to Ayame and Shigure in an uncomfortable manner, facing all the boys who look petrified while staring at them. A few weeks ago Shigure suggested starting a class for the younger zodiac boys, to teach them the PROPER way to 'touch a woman'.

"Kyo, fetch me that banana over there." Shigure demanded.

"Wha-! A...banana? What's that for?" Kyo asked clueless, as Yuki just glared in a way that said have-you ever-taken-a-shower-before?

"Yes, I have taken a shower before Yuki." Kyo informed him and Yuki cocked his head to the side, confused in what Kyo just said.

Momiji, being the innocent one, just lick his lollie, and continued to stair aimlessly at the two bickering cousins.

"Mmm. Shall we sta--"

"Hey, is that miso soup?" Shigure interrupted Hatori.

"Yeah...my mother made it." Hatsuharu answered emotionless as he picked at his earlobe. "It's the greatest; it includes sea weed, corn, and my personal favorite, tofu."

Momiji rocked his head to the beat of the little circles Haru made in his ear.

"Why are we here anyways? This is stupid! I mean, if we have to have a class about...sex..." Hiro blushed but continued on, "then at least teach us something so I can go home. This is a waste of my time."

"The Hiro speaks." Yuki praised, and had the banana in his hand, which Kyo forgot to get earlier.

"Hiro-chan, Hiro-chan," Ayame sighed as he went into a very dramatic speech," You are here to learn the correct way to caress, a beautiful lady, without the curse. Though I KNOW you couldn't even pleasure a woman as good as I can, but you can at least be as good as Tori, over there." Ayame thrust his finger over his shoulder and smiled brightly.

"I could caress a woman—"Hiro thought about Kisa, "Any way I can. Probably even better than you Aya."

"Oooohhh!" Momiji squealed.

"Ohh Aya, I think this leads to a competition!" Shigure yelled as he skipped to Hiro like a little school girl.

"A competition? So how are we going to do this?" Yuki asked, interested.

"Well, Yuki, you're going to try to get as many non-cursed pussies more than cursed and see how many you can fuck without them seeing your zodiac form in two weeks. Who ever gets the most girls seduced, wins." Shigure explained.

"Non-cursed puthieeth?" Momiji repeated while his tongue was on the lollipop.

"What the hell! We have to...screw every girl because of that damn brat and that damned snake! What if I don't want to do this stupid competition!" Kyo yelled as he stood up and grabbed his bag.

"Well, if you put it that way then that means I win." Yuki smirked.

He knew he would get him into this somehow. Kyo's eyes burned with anger and excitement.

"Damn rat! Fifty bucks I'm going to win this thing!" Kyo yelled.

"OHHH Little Brother! are you just going to take that from Kyonkitchi! I bet you can do this for 10,000 yen!" Ayame yelled in Kyo's face.

"I bet not! 15,000!" Kyo replied in just an angry matter.

Haru's head bobbed left to right as he whispered, "I bet I'd win." and continued to stare of into space.

"You guys are pathetic. 15,000 yen? Why not 30,000? I mean, if you can afford it." Hatori gloated.

As this whole debate went on Momiji, who finished his lollipop, was still thriving for more, saw the big juicy banana that Yuki was holding. He looked around, shrugged a bit and started to peal it slowly. Yuki, who was still holding the banana in his hand, felt a finger brush across his crotch.

"MOMIJI! What -- wha..." his voice fell into a shudder.

Hatori caught sight of Yuki's face and it traveled along his crotch, where Momiji was, innocently peeling the banana.

"MOMIJI. The competition didn't start yet." Hatori informed him.

"So 30,000 yen." Hatori breathed out.

"Let's pick teams. Haru, I will teach you the sense of rubbing and touching and..."

Ayame stopped to look at Haru's face. He went black.

While black Haru chased Ayame around the room; over the desks, chair, and people, Shiggy and Hatori whispered among another deciding who would be best with who. The soon decided they needed to make two calls.

"Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep." Shigure beeped.

"Is it really necessary for sound effects while dialing the number?" Hatori asked.

"No. But I like it." Shigure put the phone against his ear.

After the necessary phone calls were made, Shiggy and Hatori-chan made their way to what seemed like a designated war zone.

The tables were set into forts, each covering a set of three people; black Haru, Yuki, and Momiji on one side and Kyo, Ayame, and Hiro on the other.

"THE BRITISH ARE COMING!" Momiji screamed, running in circles.

"Damn the British, full speed ahead! 1-ith by land 2-ith by water!" Momiji carried on with his little charade of the revolutionary war.

"Since when were we in the 1900s?" Hatori asked, watching the war as paper balls sprung onto the enemy battlefields.

"Didn't it happen in the 1800s?" Shigure wondered.

"Who cares." Hatori replied.

Out of know were Haru yells, "My only regret is that i have only one life to give to my country!"

Yuki stares at his as if he had mad cow disease.

"Wow you actually pay attention in class?" Yuki said amazed.

"Of course Prince Yuki." Haru said. Yuki poofed into a rat.

Hiro. being the youngest, and 'mature-est' decided to strip out of his shirt, and reveal not only a very sexy six pack, and Superman's symbol burned onto himself, on his chest. Ayame knew not to look at little boys who had a Superman tattoo on their chest, but it was his own living fantasy sitting right in front of him.