Here's my take on how #Calzona *may* reconcile… something to at least hold me over and repair from this #PGSD (Post Grey's Stress Disorder)
Thanks for reading! This is my 1st Calzona fic!
"She's beautiful even when she's angry or sad" Callie thought as she stole a glance at her wife eating breakfast.
Arizona looked up just as that thought crossed Callie's mind. It made her sad that eye contact with her wife had become so awkward, so strained, but she wasn't ready to let go of her pain yet. The person who is supposed to protect her most in the world broke her promise to save her leg! She's a surgeon! How is she supposed to go back to being herself without HER LEG?! She had every right to be angry… but reason was starting to set in. She was starting to see that she isn't in this alone like she's been pretending. Callie was in this too. Callie is hurt too. …and despite it all, Callie is still THE love of her life and she can't stand to be the one hurting her. "Maybe today will be the day I tell her that" she thought. "We need to leave in 15 minutes. Is that enough time?" Callie's voice said, breaking into her thoughts. "I don't know! IS IT?! You're the one who has to help me! So you tell me! Is that enough time to get me ready to go?!" Arizona shouted. As soon as the last syllable of her rant echoed through the room, she silently chastised herselffor immediately defaulting to her newly found, angry-self. "Damnit! Maybe I'll tell her later instead…" she consoled herself.
The ride to the hospital was tense and silent; the new normal. Callie stole a glance at Arizona and used all of her strength to not breakdown from her wife's beauty. She was at a loss. "How can I bring her back to me?! Somewhere in there HAS to be that rational, intelligent, AMAZING doctor who knows I had no choice; who knows that this was the ONLY choice to give her back her quality of life. I need her to see that… I need her to see me." As sad and as frustrated as Callie was, she had hope. Over the past week since Arizona had been working with the Prosthetist, she's started to see glimmers of her sweet, loving wife. Those moments were fleeting though, but at least they were there now!
Callie was starting to calm down and clung to that hope with every ounce of her heart as she parked the car outside Seattle Grace Mercy Death - Cristina was definitely onto something with THAT one!, she thought. She helped Arizona into her chair, then freed Sofia from her car seat and began her morning juggling act. It'd be easiest if Sofia would sit with Arizona while Callie pushed both of them, but, sadly Sofia had learned to read both of her mom's emotions and kept her distance from Arizona mostly. Something suddenly shifted in that moment though; as Callie started pushing the chair with Sofia on her hip, Sofia started wiggling and reaching toward Arizona. Callie was about to sternly ask Sofia to stop fussing, when Arizona turned around and caught her daughter's eye and smiled. It had been so long since Callie saw such a genuine, warm Arizona smile that she almost lost her resolve right there in the parking lot. Hesitantly, Callie asked Arizona "Do you want to hold her while we walk in today?". Arizona responded with a smile and subtle nod. Callie gently placed Sofia in Arizona's lap and instructed her to be still so she doesn't hurt Mommy. Her hand accidentally brushed Arizona's arm as she moved to stand straight causing Callie to freeze. A casual touch from her wife shouldn't cause an electrical current like that, but when it's been so long since it's felt so natural, what other response could there be? Callie recovered quickly and returned to her position and pushing the chair. She couldn't help but let a small smile rest on her lips as she walked… there was that glimmer again.
They went in through the staff entrance, and took the shortest distance possible to the Prosthetist's room to avoid Arizona being seen and forced into an awkward encounter. Moments later they were at the room in which Arizona would spend her day. Callie pushed her in to her usual place, and moved to remove Sofia from her lap. Sofia, knowing it was her turn to get dropped off in her room, smiled and turned to hug Arizona while whispering "Bye bye Mommy" with the innocence that only a child can posses. The women caught each other's glances during that tender moment and again, something shifted… Callie picked up Sofia and was about to tell Arizona she'd see her later when Arizona spoke first; "Do you think you'll be able to take a lunch break at some normal time today?". "Yes" was all Callie could manage in response. "Okay. Um, well, if they have that macaroni and cheese today, that would be good for lunch. If you can, I mean. Or Moore will—" Arizona stammered as Callie interrupted to say "That would be great. I'll be here.". Arizona nodded and smiled in response. Callie stood, smiling, stuck in the moment for a second before Sofia reminded her that it was her turn. Feeling more hopeful and lighter than she had in months, Callie carried their daughter to daycare and began her day.
Lunch time seemed to come faster than any other day. Callie was happy to see the shift in Arizona, but part of her was still wary; if she let her hopes get up too high, she'd have that much further to fall when the Angry Arizona returns. "No! Don't think like that!" she chastised herself, "she is still your wife and the real Arizona is in there somewhere and she's trying to find that again too. It's my job to lead the way and let her know it's safe and that I'm still here". She reassured herself over and over as she carried their macaroni and cheese lunches upstairs.
Eating with Arizona wasn't suddenly back to the way they were, but they were certainly moving in the right direction. Arizona openly shared about the progress she was making with Moore and even asked Callie how her morning surgeries went. Callie couldn't remember the last time such a common pleasantry had passed between them. Things were definitely shifting…