Many, many thanks to Laurose for the beta! I messed around with it last, so all mistakes are mine!
Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki. This fic is written for entertainment purposes only, no profit is being made from this.
Warning: Yaoi, as in male x male, as in homosexuality. Cunning friends. Bouncy beds.
The Conspiracy
Gojyo was grumpy. The little town they were currently staying at had no entertainment whatsoever. Absolutely none. There was a bar, but the alcohol was bad. There was a cute serving girl, but the ring on her finger showed she was unavailable. There was a shop selling cigarettes, but his particular brand was not stocked there. They had food, but it tasted bland. They had individual rooms, but the mattresses were horrible and thin, and the rooms felt dank. He had a lover, but said lover was mad at him and so wouldn't even look at his face, why, he didn't know.
Hakkai kept insisting they should be thankful for at least finding this place, otherwise it would have been another night camping in the open. But Gojyo couldn't help thinking that this place was shitty.
Ooh, another reason he hated the place: they had showers; but the water heater was under repair, so their dreams of a hot shower were squashed like a bug on Jeep's windshield.
He was an optimistic person who looked at the bright side of things. Well, most of the time. But this was simply too much.
They were seated at a table in the corner of the mostly empty bar, Gojyo nursing a mug of beer, Hakkai calmly sipping his tea, Goku looking into his glass of water, and Sanzo with a cup of tea as well.
When Gojyo let out another sigh, Hakkai looked at him with a mildly disapproving glint in his eye, his cup of tea resting in his hand. He was right. They should be thankful they'd happened on this place, dump or not, because a roof over their heads was a roof over their heads.
Goku looked bored out of his brains too. Well, if he had brains. So Goku looked bored out of his stomach. Which would be very difficult to accomplish, since his stomach was a bottomless pit. Oh, gods, let's just say Goku looked very, very bored. He was half asleep with his mouth slightly ajar. He wasn't even trying to make conversation, and that was saying a lot, given the monkey's talkative nature.
A thin stream of smoke rose steadily from behind the newspaper Sanzo was buried in. So Gojyo couldn't look at his face. What a pity, it was such a gorgeous face too. He was tempted to nudge the priest's foot with his own, but wisely decided against it. The last time they'd talked, Sanzo had been pissed. Very pissed. So he wasn't prepared to take a risk like that. Yet.
Which bought him to the question: why was Sanzo mad at him? Was it something he said? Was it something he did? What had gone wrong with their beautiful, magical romance? Though Sanzo would kill him if he said something like that in front of him, he was sure. He needed to find out and fix it, and fast. He'd gone without his dose of Sanzo for a week, and he couldn't take it any longer.
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It had all started a week ago. They'd been camping out for almost week, they were sore and tired, and had yet to come upon civilization.
Hakkai and Goku had gone looking for water, and Gojyo'd used the chance to ask Sanzo a very important question. Sanzo had put his foot down on sneaking off into the trees in the middle of the night without the other two knowing. Then Gojyo asked if it would be ok if they could sneak off into the trees in the middle of the night with the other two knowing. And he'd received a THWAK from the harrisen and the argument that if the others knew, then it wouldn't be 'sneaking' would it? So Gojyo asked so if they weren't sneaking out could they have sex in the trees in the middle of the night? And there was a louder THWAK and Sanzo had stormed off into the trees.
When Hakkai and Goku came back to the campsite, they encountered a morose Gojyo with familiar red welts on his head. Since this was common enough an occurrence, they didn't investigate the welts or Sanzo's disappearance.
But Gojyo didn't miss the knowing gleam in Hakkai's real eye, as he set about boiling the water.
When Sanzo finally returned, he didn't even spare a glance in Gojyo's direction.
Gojyo couldn't believe how hollow his chest felt as he lay in his sleeping bag that night. Sanzo hadn't looked at him at all.
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Gojyo was back in his room, desperately trying to sleep, and desperately trying not to panic that Sanzo had yet to even look at him. Come on, it was all done in good humor! A little talk was no reason to get so worked up. Sanzo was just overreacting. Despite this, if he went to Sanzo's room right now to demand what was wrong, he was sure Sanzo would ventilate his brain, or worse.
He needed a plan.
He sucked at planning.
So he went to Hakkai.
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The next morning found our kappa refreshed and rejuvenated, Hakkai smiling and chipper, Goku energized and hungry, and Sanzo grumpier than usual.
Hakkai and Gojyo were the first ones at the table. As soon as they saw Sanzo enter the dining room, they put their heads together and hurriedly whispered something before he could join them.
When Sanzo pulled his chair out, Hakkai and Gojyo both glanced at him briefly, before studiously eating their breakfasts.
Occasionally they sneaked glances at each other, smiled slightly, and looked away as if nothing had happened.
Sanzo decided to ignore them for now.
Shortly after, Goku joined them at the table.
"Hey, why're you guys laughing?" he enquired in his typical, straightforward Goku way, with his mouth full.
"Swallow your food before you talk, Goku," Hakkai chided him absently. "And we were not laughing."
"Yes, you were! I saw you! You were laughing!" he exclaimed (after swallowing his mouthful).
"No, we weren't, monkey. Maybe, you need an eye checkup." Gojyo drawled lazily, blatantly smirking at the healer.
Sanzo was beginning to get irritated.
"Who're you calling a monkey, stupid cockroach?"
"Enough!" THWAK THWAK. "Shut up and finish eating. We're leaving in fifteen minutes."
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The ride was getting on Sanzo's nerves.
Gojyo and Hakkai kept glancing at each other through the rear view mirror, all knowing smiles and wicked looks. Sanzo wanted to shoot them both.
Goku kept bugging Gojyo to tell him what they were laughing about. Sanzo wanted to gag him and dump him with the luggage.
Sanzo was beginning to get pissed.
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By the time they reached the next village, Goku and Gojyo had multiple welts on their heads, and Hakkai's smile was so forced it was practically breaking his face. But the minute the redhead looked at him, his parody of a smile loosened into something more pleasant.
Sanzo was beginning to feel homicidal.
Three fourths of the ikkou waited sullenly near the reception desk, while Hakkai booked them rooms in the only inn in the village. He handed Sanzo a key and pocketed the other one.
"They only have two rooms, so we'll have to share. Gojyo's with me tonight, so I guess you're rooming with Goku, Sanzo." Hakkai smiled calmly at the priest before turning and walking up the staircase, with his bags in his hands, Hakuryuu on his shoulder, and Gojyo following behind him.
"So, Sanzo, can I have the bed by the window?" Goku asked, looking up at Sanzo with wide, hopeful eyes.
"Shut up and bring my bags along, monkey."
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Sanzo stayed awake for a long time, listening to the sounds of laughter coming from the next room.
The room Hakkai and Gojyo were sharing.
He could hear thumping sounds, soft and rhythmic. Suddenly there was a loud thump, followed by a few softer thumps. Then all was quiet.
This time, it was Sanzo who felt hollow in his chest.
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"D'you think he'll fall for it?" Gojyo asked Hakkai softly, sitting beside him on the bed. His stomach still hurt from all the laughing.
"I don't see the harm in trying," Hakkai responded, equally softly.
"What do we do next?"
"Continue as per the plan. Until we see any change."
"Will we still be alive to see if the plan works? I mean, what if he gets pissed and shoots us? What then?"
Hakkai leaned in close to whisper reassurances in Gojyo's ear, placing a brotherly hand on his knee, but his hand slipped on the denim of Gojyo's pants and he fell, pinning the redhead underneath him to the bed.
At that exact moment in time, the door banged open, and in barged a homicidal Sanzo. He took one step past the threshold and froze, his eyes widening at the very vivid tableau in front of him.
Gojyo felt as if he was being burnt and frozen at the same time.
Sanzo was looking right into his eyes, his purple ones dark and unreadable.
Hakkai hurriedly scrambled off Gojyo and stood, facing Sanzo. "This is not what it looks like." He spoke firmly, although his eyes were pleading. "Sanzo, believe me, nothing happened between us."
Sanzo just stared at Gojyo, who blinked and looked most uncomfortable.
"Yeah, right." He spoke to Hakkai, but he was looking at Gojyo.
"For god's sake, Sanzo, that's the truth!" Gojyo pushed off from the bed, meaning to get nearer to Sanzo. And to push Hakkai out of the way, should the monk begin to fire.
Sanzo strode forward until he stood face to face with the kappa, his purple eyes boring into red ones. "You belong to me. And no one else. I thought I'd made that clear by now."
"I'll just escort myself out then!" Hakkai smiled cheerfully as he nearly flew out of the room and pulled the door closed behind him, winking secretly at Gojyo before he was gone.
A few seconds passed in silence.
"You TOLD him?" Sanzo exploded, releasing all his pent up frustration and fury on the hapless kappa. "You told HAKKAI?"
"No! He already knew! I swear I didn't say anything! You know nothing gets past the guy!" Gojyo was ready to fall on his knees and beg for mercy, but a hand on his chest stopped him.
Sanzo calmed remarkably soon. "I guess it's ok. He would've found out eventually, anyway." Sanzo mused silently for a while, before speaking again, with a critical look at Gojyo. "What were the thumping noises?"
The kappa had the decency to blush before looking away and mumbling, "We were bouncing on the bed... it was fun."
Sanzo had to turn away to hide the smile on his face. "Really, now?"
"Yeah... Hey blondie?"
"What?!" Sanzo turned a sharp glare on him, and Gojyo nearly backtracked.
"I mean Sanzo... So... can we have sex now? I mean we're in a room with a lockable door and everything... even the windows have curtains... and they're dark so the light won't filter out. It'll be totally private."
"You're hopeless, you know that?" Sanzo couldn't hide the smile this time. It was too big. By his standards, at least.
"I do... But I also know that's why I'm irresistible... " Gojyo purred into his neck.
"Ha! As if! Who told you that?" Sanzo traced a collarbone with a slender finger.
"A lot of people! Seriously! Just ask Hakkai!" Fingers wound into red and blond hair.
"Let's forget about Hakkai, shall we?" Breathing intensified to urgent panting.
"Mm.. What ever you say..."
And no coherent speech could be heard for quite some time after that.
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"Hakkai, what were the loud thumping noises I heard last night?"
"Hmm? Probably people bouncing on the bed, Goku. These are pretty nice mattresses, after all."
"Hm... Hey Hakkai, can we bounce on the bed, then?"
"... I don't see why not. Come on!"
!*!*!*!*! Fini !*!*!*!*!
Ta-da!
YAAAY for bouncy beds! They're great fun, just as long as you don't slip and break your neck, or the bed frame!
Well then. I hope you liked it! The first story I wrote at a stretch within three hours! In the middle of the night, no less!
Do review if you liked it, or even just want to give me any pointers!
The does sound a little cracky though, doesn't it? Hmm..