The Day Nazarick Stood Still

Alone in a field of endless grass a single man stumbles through the field butt ass naked. Covered in blood, this man mumbles incoherently as he makes his way to wherever he may be going.

He broke out into song. "OooooHHH wer the wind take me is wer ill gooooo go go go..." But before long he stopped walking staring down at the grass with nothing short of pure killing intent plastered all across his face.

He wobbled and stumbled before shouting at the top of his lungs. "Oh you wana one of them dies don't ya bitch!..." a long silence followed as he stared at the grass below his feet waiting for an answer. "I said… bitch, i said... stop tickling on my feets ya grass pixie motherfuckers!"

"Ahhhhhhhhhh!" the delusional man let loose his most fearsome battle cry as he materialised a massive .50 caliber minigun from thin air, letting thousands of bullets loose at the ground.

Nearly ten minutes later the man ran out of ammo tossing his gun aside as it dematerialized. The ground was completely obliterated with more bullet casings than dirt. "HA! I made you my bitch, bitch." he groggily walked off into the forest in the distance as the blood dried to his shiny skin.

Two weeks earlier…

The most patriotic scene ever created. That was the only way to explain how Reagan looked. He stood tall riding a massive eagle 2000 feet in the air. His fully star spangled armor covered his body making him look like a robot sent from the future to kill any and all threats to freedom.

"'Merica, Fuck yea! Commin again to save the motherfuckin day yea!"

"Reagan774 inbound! Whooooooo!" Reagan sat atop a glorious dragon sized eagle soaring through the sky as free as a bird.

"Im disembarking Sam." with that Reagan slowly leaned off of the massive eagles neck falling to the ground as calm as ever.

Just before hitting the ground Reagan right sided himself, pulling two identical rocket launchers out from either side of his pocket dimension. With a blast he let loose two rockets allowing the recoil to slow his descent.

The blast from the rockets pulverized the ground where he would be landing making the landing even more dramatic. Reagan stood up and walked out of the flaming inferno he had created. "Terrorists your game is through! Ha… damn...haa this sucks..."

Reagan had loved dropping into dungeons with his silly American quotes. But today was the last day the server would run so the admin had shut down the movement of the monsters leaving him with nothing left to do.

"After this dungeon maybe i should go visit Momonga, i doubt the rest of the gang came, probably only him…"

"CAWWW!" Sam, Reagan's giant pet eagle swooped down from the sky, shrinking in size until he landed on Reagan's right shoulder. "Come on bud, one last dungeon crawl… one last adventure…"

The pain in his voice was plain for all to hear. This game was the only real place he could connect with people ever since he was paralyzed in a car crash six years ago. Nowhere else could he walk, nowhere else would anyone look down on him as if he need to be helped.

Yggdrasil was his home away from home, a place he could help other rather than be helped, a place where he was free to explore unknown lands, traverse mountains, swim in rivers, and make friends.

Here, in this land, he could talk with the other 40 guild members as peers rather than a useless stephen Hawking rolling around in his chair aimlessly all day.

Reagan was on the verge of tears, his real body that is, as his virtual golem body couldn't cry. He pushed away all thoughts of sadness and walked into the cave before him.

Unlike the times before this, the monsters didn't move so Reagan simply walked past them to the center, the heart of the dungeon. Within minutes he reached the end of the dungeon.

In front of him was a massive spider with the body of a woman. "Another one of you… i was hoping for something new." he sighed and passed the spider woman completely.

Reagan stood next to a small golden chest at the end of the dungeon. "Let see what goodies you got...maybee my first personal world item..." Reagan knew there was no chance but a boy could always hope.

He opened the chest revealing hardly anything. "10,034 gold, four silk of sarcadia, ten arrows of lust, and ?" four question marks and a blacked out silhouette, an item he had never discovered before. "Yes! We have at least a little good fortune today Sam!"

He took everything the chest had to offer. There was only one thing he was really after though, this new item. He inspected it revealing it to be a small magic item about the size of a golf ball. "Dwarves burden… what kind of item is that… well i won't know its effects untill i use it or ask momonga to analyze it with magic for me."

Reagan thought about it for a while but he came to the same conclusion over and over, "gotta try it, it's the last day anyway… what is the worst it could do?"

Reagan activated the magic item and immediately regretted it. "Whoooaaa… i feel whoosy..." He fell on his ass. The world around him began to swirl. "Dude… i'm trippin mad virtual balls…"

Reagan had been sitting staring at the spider lady in front of him for hours now quietly going "whoaa that is a big ass…" over and over game had not more than ten minutes left before the closing of the servers. When he heard his message spell try to connect. "Is that MooMooNga…. How the fuck does i do my… thing… mys meessage….ohhhh." Reagan blacked out.

Reagan awoke in a grassy field with his bird sam trippin balls beside him. Wobbling all around and cawing at the wind before getting stuck upside down. To which reagan said. "Whose upside dowr ya or the world…. Think your brain abot thet!"

For two days he sat around just looking at the grass imagining pixies running around him teasing him about his broken legs.

"SAM!" he screamed. "Dontcha think its like real hot…. Imma just take off my clothe." he did as he said and unequipped his gear into his pocket dimension. "Dat riy dare is much beter. Right SAM!"

He looked over to where Sam should have been still stuck upside down. To his surprise Sam was gone. "Dem damn commies gots to SAM!"

He stood up fuming mad and marched off butt ass naked to find his pet.