Welcome to my first shoujo-ai fic. In fact, welcome to my first
fanfic. This about Ami and Rei, a couple I have yet to see. I
noticed that and decided to make up for the lack. And, I was
procrastinating writing a paper so I spent the night writing this.
This story is not hentai or ecchi. It's just a little... sort
of... romance.
I have to put in my own disclaimer. This story has to do with
depression and things that spring from it. If you're inclined to
hurt yourself in any way, shape, or form, then please don't read
this story. It was driven quite a bit from my experiences a
few years ago, and I guess I was finally exorcising them. This
wouldn't have been safe for me to read back then, so ... yeah.
I might be exaggerating but I'd rather do that than have something
happen.
Standard disclaimer. I don't own Sailormoon or any of the characters
in this fic except for the nurse! I'm incredibly broke so I hope
nobody sues me for playing with their characters when they weren't
looking.
Blue Girl Blue
by Medusa
Rei wiped her forehead as she put the broom back in its corner. The
walk was finally swept, and before anyone showed up. She actually had
time to clean up before the meeting. She stepped into the entry hall
and headed for her room, humming to herself.
She slipped out of her shrine uniform and into a towel, and sang a
few lines out loud. "Pure snow, pure heart..." Her clear voice filled
the room, but it trailed away as she entered the hall, lost in thought.
"Rei-chan? Your grandfather let me in."
"Eep! Don't sneak up on me like tha..." she spun around. Ami held
her books to her chest, smiling softly. "Ami-chan! I thought you were
Usagi..."
"This early? Did you tell her the meeting was an hour ago again?"
Rei grinned. "No, but I should have. I'll remember that next time.
Ne, what are you doing here so early? The meeting isn't for half an
hour yet." Rei suddenly remembered that she was wearing nothing but
a towel... out where anyone could see. She turned red and pulled the
towel a little tighter. Ami's gaze followed her eyes down to the
towel, then quickly snapped away.
Ami flushed. "I... I thought I'd do some studying while I waited. I
didn't have juken so..." she trailed off, staring over Rei's shoulder.
Rei glanced back in time to see a flash of blue disappear around the
corner. Yuuichiro... Rei's eyes flared.
"Ami-chan, go ahead and get comfortable. I'll be back in a bit."
Rei turned and walked toward the bath, leaving Ami to slip inside the
door. Rei fumed as she strode down the hall. That damn Yuuichiro...
spying on her again! She'd just about had it. She'd lost count of how
many times she'd turned around to see him watching her in the last few
weeks. He always had a weird look on his face, as if he were afraid of
something. Rei's eyes narrowed. She'd make /sure/ he was afraid
of her, after this! Just wait... she promised herself. I'll have a
talk with him as soon as everyone's left.
She decided to skip the soak in the bathtub and just scrub in the shower,
staring into space as she lathered her hair. Of course Ami was the first
one to arrive, but she seemed more shy than she had in a long time.
Like she had something on her mind... Rei frowned. Maybe she'd come
early to talk. She quickly started rinsing her long hair,
hoping she'd get back out before any of the others arrived.
*******
Ami knelt at Rei's table, sighing as she set out her books for studying.
She'd hoped Rei would be free before the meeting, but she was busy as
usual. She wondered what it would take to get her alone and not busy.
She was starting to have second thoughts anyway. Rei was so vibrant,
she nearly glowed sometimes. She wouldn't understand.
Ami opened her math and started going over the exercises. She'd already
done them, but the structure was soothing. She was drawn into the
calculations, filling her mind with orderly formulas. Soon she was
nose-deep in her book and completely absorbed. She barely noticed Rei
returning for clothes, then again to sit by Ami.
She did notice when Rei just sat there, looking at her for ten minutes.
Ami closed her book and looked back silently. She couldn't tell what
lay in Rei's eyes, but they were scrutinizing her as if she were reading
the Sacred Fire. Ami wondered briefly if Rei had learned how to read
minds.
"Ami-chan, is there something on your mind?" Rei finally asked. "If
you need to talk, I'm here."
Ami looked down at her book, thinking for a minute. This /was/ why
she was here, she rationalized. Rei could tell there was something...
so... maybe... she swallowed hard, her eyes swimming for a moment as
panic rose in her throat. She closed her eyes and cleared her thoughts,
then smiled up at Rei.
"It's nothing." Ami smiled cheerfully (or, she tried to), but Rei
frowned.
"Ami-chan," she started, but was interrupted when the door banged open.
"Ta-da-daaaa! It is I, Aino Minako, Queen of Shopping!" the blonde
trumpeted, waving a shopping bag in front of Rei. "Guess what I found
at the mall!" She skipped over and grabbed a seat. "Ne, Rei-chan,
I stopped by just to window shop, but I found the most adorable dress!"
She pulled out a pale yellow spaghetti-strap and held it up to herself.
"What do you think? There was a red one that would look stunning on
you too!"
Rei blinked. Ami stifled a sigh. "Kawaii wa, Minako-chan! Er,"
Rei glanced at Ami. "I'm going to make some tea. Can you help me,
Ami-chan?" Ami nodded and got to her feet. "We'll be right back,
ok, Minako?" Minako looked a little disappointed for a second, but
produced another sunny grin.
"No problem! I'll just put this on real quick and model for everyone
when they get here!" She jumped up and headed for the bathroom to
change.
Ami watched her silently. Rei took her arm to get her going, then
led the way to the kitchen. She got the tea kettle out while Ami
started setting up a tray with cups.
"So what's on your mind?" Rei asked. She was starting to sound a
little impatient. Ami sighed. Rei was trying to be nice, she
knew... she couldn't remember exactly why she'd picked Rei to talk
to, considering... but she was the only one she felt comfortable
turning to, besides Usagi. But Usagi was so tied up
with Mamoru, Ami didn't want to disturb that either. She could
talk to Rei instead, she was sure... she swallowed and struggled
for control as another wave of sadness washed over her.
She didn't see Rei coming until she was wrapped in a hug. "It's all
right, Ami-chan," Rei whispered, holding the blue-haired girl gently.
"Just tell me what's wrong."
"I. I don't know!" Ami choked, finally losing her fight against the
tears that'd been threatening to spill all afternoon. "I just... I
feel so..." she shook her head and leaned on her friend as tears
streamed from her eyes. Rei simply stood there, rubbing Ami's back
and murmuring soothing words. Ami just let herself go. She didn't
see Makoto poke her head into the kitchen and get waved away, wide-eyed,
by Rei. She didn't feel the minutes pass until she
was spent, exhausted, and felt Rei's damp blouse under her cheek.
"Gomen, Rei-chan," she said, pulling away. "I ruined your shirt..."
Rei shook her head and smiled. "It's only water, Ami. Um. Want
to talk about it?"
Ami looked down and caught a look at her watch. 4:20?? Everyone
would be here by now! "Rei-chan, we're late..."
Rei shook her head. "They'll understand. Nothing's going on,
they're probably gobbling Mako-chan's cookies and gossiping anyway."
She gave Ami another quick hug. "Don't hold it all in, Ami-chan.
It'll only hurt you more if you do."
Ami nodded. "All right... but we really are late... can it be after
the meeting?" She wanted time to get ready. Rei thought for a
second, then nodded.
"The chores can wait. You're more important, Ami-chan. Ano... want
to finish the tea so you have time to calm down? I'll go let them
know we're alive," she smiled and walked out the door.
***********
Makoto was standing down the hall when Rei entered the hall, arms
folded and leaning against the wall. She was obviously guarding
the door, making sure Ami and Rei weren't disturbed.
"Daijoubu?" she asked quietly, looking at the door. Rei nodded and
smiled, brushing at the wet spot on her shoulder. Mako nodded and
followed Rei to the front room where the others sat. Haruka and
Michiru had shown up for once, baby Hotaru in Michiru's arms. They
were talking quietly, while Usagi and Minako were engaged in a
contest of who could stuff the most cookies in their mouths. Rei
smirked as she sat down.
"Why try, Minako-chan? We both know Odango-atama's got the biggest mouth
in Juuban," she commented casually.
"Rmph mph!" Usagi was muffled by her mouthload of chocolate chips...
she couldn't even defend her honor with a good old-fashioned tongue
war. Rei laughed and nodded to the Outers. Haruka was talking to
Michiru, but her eye kept wandering to Usagi's mouth in consternation.
Rei understood her thoughts exactly. Only the power of the Ginzuishou
get all that down her throat.
"Konnichiwa, Haruka-san and Michiru-san," she smiled. "Sorry I wasn't
here earlier."
Haruka shrugged. "We're only here because of Odango, anyway," she said.
"She was running like every daemon in hell was after her, so
we decided to give her a ride." Michiru smiled and thrust her elbow
into Haruka's side. "Umph! What?!"
"Language, Haruka," Michiru said serenely. She patted little Hotaru on
the back. "She understands more than you think." Baby Hotaru chuckled
and blew a raspberry.
A rattle of cups announced Ami's arrival as she navigated the narrow
doorway. "Sorry the tea took so long, mina-san." She set the tray
down and looked at what used to be the plate of Mako's cookies. "I'm
too late for the cookies, I see."
Usagi turned tomato-red and looked abashed. She finally managed to
swallow. "Gomen-nasai, Ami-chan! I was just so hungry... and Minako
was shoveling them down so I thought no one else could get any... and
we just..."
"It's okay, Usagi-chan," Ami said. She sat next to Rei and greeted
the Outers. Michiru smiled at her warmly.
Luna hopped up on the table, looking irritated. "Well, now that we're
/all/ here," she said stiffly. "I can't believe Rei and Ami were
later than Usagi!" Usagi started wailing, Rei rolled her eyes and
the Outers started to laugh as Rei snapped at Usagi to shape up.
Usagi stuck out her now-free tongue at Rei, and Rei of course
had to return the favor.
Soon the meeting was a shambles, but Rei was glad to see one thing.
Ami was smiling again.
***************
When the others had left, some of them (namely, Usagi) having to
be chased out after being relieved of Rei's manga,
Rei had Ami settle in her room while Rei cleaned up. She was
just starting to grumble to herself that no one ever bothered to help
clean up when Ami came back out and started setting the dishes on the
tray. Rei smiled at her and between them they had the room
cleaned up in minutes. Then they headed back to Rei's room and
sat on her futon.
Ami sat there for a while, staring quietly at the blank wall.
Rei drew her legs up and crossed them under her, and waited
patiently. After a few minutes she rested her left hand on
Ami's shoulder. Ami relaxed a little at that, and after a few
more minutes she started to talk.
"I don't really know what it is. My mother hasn't been home
much, so I can't talk to her. And you know Usagi's all wound up
in Mamoru-san..." she flushed. Rei nodded, wondering where this
was going. "I suppose I just want to explain why I came to you,
in case you were wondering. You just seemed like the right person."
Rei nodded again. Ami went on. "I just feel so sad... and I don't know
why. I don't want to study, I don't want to go anywhere, I just
sleep whenever I'm home. On my last exam..." she blushed red.
"It's stupid."
Rei shook her head. "I've never known you to be stupid since I
met you," she said. "I won't change my mind about you just because
you're sad about something."
"Well... my scores were tenth in the standardized tests this year.
I missed some of the English because I couldn't concentrate."
Rei's jaw dropped, but she just sat and looked at Ami. Ami
couldn't concentrate? She'd thought she'd never see the day.
Ami went on quietly. "My life feels like it's falling apart,
Rei-chan." She bent her head silently. When Rei leaned forward
to look at her face, tears were rolling from her eyes again. Rei
pulled her in for a hug again and held her tight.
"I'm here for you, Ami," she whispered. Ami started to sob, and
Rei just held her until she quieted. Her breath evened, and
dropped into sleep as Rei held her. As gently as she could,
Rei pulled Ami onto the bed more and pulled a blanket over her.
"Oh, Ami-chan..." she murmured. What could be bothering her so
much?
She looked outside. Night had already fallen. If she was home,
Ami's mother would be worried.
Rei went to the phone and called Ami's place, but there was no
answer. She just left a message on the machine, trying not to
sound angry that Ami's mother wasn't there for her. "Mizuno-sensei,
this is Rei Hino, Ami's friend. She's staying over here because
it just got too late for her to walk home. Gomen-nasai, that was
my fault. If you need to talk to her, here's the number..." Rei
rattled off the shrine's phone number and hung up. Ami's mom
would probably wonder why Ami didn't call herself, but there wasn't
any help for that.
Rei went back to her room and sat next to Ami's sleeping form.
She sat up, waiting to see if Ami woke up and wanted to talk, but
the night dragged on without her stirring once. Finally her eyes
drooped closed and she sprawled across the foot of the bed.
**********************
Ami woke up wondering where she was, but then recognized Rei
sleeping at her feet. Ami frowned and pushed off the covers. She
hated herself for staying so long, bothering her friend. She
got to her feet and gathered her books. She thought for a moment,
then pulled out a piece of paper and wrote a note in the faint
moonlight:
Dear Rei-chan,
I'm sorry I was so much trouble tonight. I
didn't mean to take your bed. I appreciate
you sitting with me. Anyway... sorry for
the trouble. Thank you for being there,
anyway, and for being a friend.
Sayonara.
Ami
********************
"TROUBLE?!" Rei exclaimed. She stared at the note in disbelief.
"How can she possibly think... she... argh!" She crumpled the
note and threw it away. She only took time to yank a comb
through her hair and straighten it up before leaving. She didn't
like the sound of that goodbye. She had to check on Ami.
A bus ride across Juuban and running for a couple of blocks
brought her to Ami's home. She lived in the top two floors of
a fancy apartment building, and Rei paused to stare at it in
wonder yet again before walking up to the door. It was a
beautiful building, with ornate carvings at the corners and
pillars along the front. Rei hoped she could live in a place
like this someday. She was about to knock when she heard
voices behind the door.
"...disappearing like that! And your /friend/ was the only one
to think of calling! Since you did so badly on those exams, maybe
I should ground you until you bring your average back up!" Rei
blinked. Was that Ami's /mother/? She heard Ami's voice, but
couldn't make out what she said.
"You're right about that, young lady! You just mind me. I don't
need to get embarrassed again, I can tell you that."
Rei stepped back from the door, just in time for it to swing past
her face to show Dr. Mizuno ready to walk out the door. She was
still berating Ami, who stared at the floor in shame. Rei's eyes
narrowed, and she stepped behind the door as Dr. Mizuno marched out
and down the hall without even noticing her. Rei glared at her
back, her look turning murderous as she heard Ami start to cry
through the open doorway. 'What she needs is a Fire Soul to burn
out whatever's stuck up her ass,' she thought, and went in the
door. Ami was gone.
Rei knocked on the doorframe. "Ami-chan?" she called. No answer.
Rei walked in and closed the door behind her. "Ami!"
Rei had decided to head up the stairs to Ami's room when she heard
clattering in the kitchen. "Ami?" Rei murmured, following the
sound. She walked in the kitchen to see Ami crumpled against a
cupboard. A drawer lay on its side near her, spilling knives
and serving utensils across the floor. Ami grabbed hold of a
steak knife and held it to her wrist. Rei could hear her heavy
breathing.
"Ami-chan?" she gasped. Ami looked up at her, her blue eyes so hopeless
Rei wanted to cry herself. She felt a tear slip out of her eye.
Ami drew the knife up a little, the blade parallel with her arm.
"If I do it this way, it'll work better," Ami said. She closed her
eyes and started putting pressure on the knife. "Nobody needs me
anyway..."
"AMI!" Rei ran across the room and tackled the blue-haired girl,
snatching her hands and prying them apart. "Stop it! Don't
do this! Please!"
Ami fought, crying again as she pushed the knife toward
her arm again. Failing that, she pointed the knife at her throat and
started to pull. "Rei-chan, let me go. I have to, I can't
do anything anymore. Just let me go. Just let me go."
Rei shook her head. "No. I won't." She felt the blood pounding
in her own ears. She gritted her teeth and pulled one more time,
finally getting the knife out of Ami's hands. Ami immediately reached
for another, but Rei kicked them away and grabbed Ami's arms. Ami
went on crying, glaring at Rei and struggling to get away.
Rei started to cry. "Please Ami-chan, stop. Please!" Ami ignored
her. "If I have to... I'll transform..." she gasped as Ami kicked
her, but didn't let go. "Just stop! We can talk about it!"
Ami's years of constant studying made her no match for Rei's life of hard
work at the shrine, Senshi training or not, and finally Ami gave up.
Rei kneeled there for a moment, breathing hard and trying to think
what to do next.
"Come on," Rei choked out, pulling Ami to her feet. "Let's get out
of here, okay? Okay?" Ami didn't say anything, but got up quietly
and let Rei lead her to the living room. Rei sat her on the sofa and
took her arm. "Let me see, Ami-chan. Ok? Please?" Ami didn't resist as
Rei peeled Ami's right hand from her left wrist. She'd managed to
cut herself a little, but the bleeding was already slowed.
Rei got Ami up again and took her upstairs. She was out of words,
all of a sudden. She bandaged Ami up in the bathroom, then took her
to her room. Ami sat down when Rei took her to the bedside, and Rei
sat next to her. She thought about what Ami's mother'd said... and
her temper started to burn. How DARE she hurt Ami-chan like that!
Her tears dried up and she glared into the wall, hating Ami's mother.
Ami's small hand reached over to touch Rei. "Gomen nasai," Ami
whispered. "I didn't want you to hate me. I'm sorry." Rei turned
to her, startled.
"Why?" Rei asked.
"I... I don't want you mad at me," Ami whispered. "I'm sorry I bother
everyone so much."
"You don't," Rei stated. "We all love you, Ami-chan. Why do you want
to leave us all?" Ami went blank at that. She shrugged and stared
down at her lap. "Don't you want to stay with us?"
"No," Ami whispered. "I shouldn't have talked to you... I need to get
away. I'm useless. Even as a Sailor Senshi I can't do anything but
think. Is that all I'm good for? A brain and nothing else?"
Rei didn't know what to say. She reached out and took Ami's hand. Ami
stared blankly.
"Do you know," she whispered. "Do you know I can't ever find love?"
Rei's eyes popped wide open. Where'd this come from? "Ano..."
"Because the one I love could never love me." Ami's voice hitched a
notch. Rei pulled up her knees to kneel on the bed and put her hands
on Ami's shoulders.
"Ami-chan..."
"Because I'm stupid, I'm not good for *anything* and she'll never like
me back! She's practically dating this guy... she's so different from
me..." she started to cry again. Rei boggled. Ami liked a girl?! Who?
She ignored the small excited feeling in her breast and frowned. Time
to knock some sense into this girl.
"Ami-chan!" Rei snapped. Ami looked up, startled. Rei stared at her
seriously, making sure she had her attention.
"Ami. I really care about you. So does Usagi, Minako, Makoto, the
Outers, and Chibiusa. Mamoru likes you, and not just because you're
his girlfriend's friend! There is nothing about you that isn't sweet,
or lovable," she went on. She felt like her heart would break, seeing
Ami like this. "If this girl doesn't love you back, then she's blind!
She's an idiot, and you deserve better than some moron that doesn't
recognize how wonderful you are." Ami sat looking up at Rei, her
eyes wide. She said nothing.
"As for what you said about being worthless... it's so wrong it'd be
funny in any other situation. I've lost count of how many times your
plans saved us when just attacking didn't work. We'd all be dead a
hundred times over if it wasn't for you!" Rei started to cry again.
"Besides that, we all know how caring you are. You're always ready
to help and you have such a big heart."
Ami shook her head. Rei squeezed her hands. "Believe it, Ami-chan.
We love you for everything you are. You're creative--remember that
song you wrote? Remember how you got through to Urawa-san when we
thought we were finished? What about how much you care about everybody,
and how much we all care about you?" Ami lowered her head, but Rei
lifted her chin. "I swear to you, by my guardian planet Mars, that
everything I'm saying is true. Please, please believe me."
Ami stared at her for a moment. Then slowly, the blankness in her
eyes filled with sadness, but also just a little hope. She nodded
slowly. "All right," she said. "I'll try, okay, Rei-chan?"
Rei smiled sadly. She knew what came next, but didn't want to go
there yet. "Ano... Ami-chan, who is it you like? Can you tell me?" It was
still a surprise to her that Ami was gay... but it didn't matter.
Especially not to Rei.
Ami blushed. "Um, I..." she fumbled.
"Someone I know?" Rei asked. Ami nodded. "Are we both friends with her?"
Ami thought for a second, then shrugged. Her face turned deep red, and
she pulled away from Rei a little, gazing into Rei's eyes.
"I don't want to tell you, because you won't like me after I do," Ami
whispered.
Rei smiled. "I think we established that you can kick me while I'm
down and I'll still hold on to you." She blinked, thinking of something.
"Ami-chan... is it me?"
Ami's face turned scarlet. Rei'd never seen anything so red... except
maybe a fire engine... "I'll take that as a yes." She could feel her
face warming up a little herself. She reached out and hugged Ami close.
"See?" she whispered. "I'm still your friend." She was shaking.
"I know it's hopeless," Ami muttered. "You and Kumada-san..."
Rei snorted. "No way!" she said. "Why do you think I've been beating
him away with my broom? He's such an idiot!"
Ami shrugged. "I'm sorry, Rei-chan," she whispered.
Rei squeezed Ami again, then sat back. "Ne, Ami-chan," she said. "We
have to talk about something. You... you were really serious downstairs.
You scared me."
"Gomen nasai."
"Please don't apologize. Just don't do that again, okay?" Ami nodded.
"I think we should take you to the hospital," Rei said tentatively.
Ami shook her head.
"No hospital."
"I'm sorry Ami, but I'm afraid you'll try that again. I want to know you're
safe so I can sleep at night."
Ami stared at her lap. "Why? You don't l... like me back."
Rei was quiet for a minute. She wasn't sure what to say. Like she'd said,
there was a big reason why she didn't respond to Yuuichiro's courting, but
she wasn't sure if this was the right time. She stared into Ami's pretty
blue eyes, then came to a decision.
"Ami," she whispered. "When I said I love you, I meant it." She leaned
forward and brushed Ami's cheek with her lips, ending the motion by resting
her forehead against Ami's temple. "Ami, you're beautiful. I wish this
weren't the way I found out you cared for me." Ami froze, barely breathing,
as if she was afraid she'd break the moment.
"Ami, I don't think it's a good time." Ami slumped. "Please, understand.
I want to make sure you're safe before we start something. If anything
happened... I'd never forgive myself. Or you! Don't you dare leave me now!"
she mock-growled. Her arm found its way around Ami's waist and squeezed.
"I really think it's more than just me that's been bothering you. I think
you need a doctor who isn't your mother. I heard what she said to you, and
I just bet she's a big part of the problem. You need to get things fixed."
"If we wait then..." Ami chewed her lip. "Then maybe you'll change your
mind..."
Rei shook her head and kissed Ami's forehead. "I've waited two years so far.
I can wait a little longer." Ami smiled shyly, and pecked Rei's cheek.
"I can wait too. If... if I go, will you visit?"
Rei grinned. "Wild horses couldn't drag me away."
********************
Nurse Kawaguchi opened the door, knocking lightly. Ami smiled and waved
her in. The knocking was just to be polite; technically, they could come
in and check on her whenever they wanted. "Ohaiyo, Kawaguchi-san." The
pretty woman smiled.
"Mizuno-san, someone's here to see you. Do you want to see her?"
Ami smiled brightly. "Is it Rei-chan?" Her smile broadened as the nurse
nodded. She jumped up and rushed out to the hall, waiting impatiently as
Kawaguchi-san followed more slowly. Ami got up on tiptoe to look through
the ward door window, barely catching a glimpse of raven hair. Finally
Kawaguchi unlocked the door and Ami jumped into Rei's arms.
Rei blushed. "Hi, Ami-chan," she said. She took Ami's hand and walked in,
making room for the door to get locked again. Nurse Kawaguchi smiled as
she watched the girls go to Ami's room; it was always nice to see patients
have such good friends.
The girls settled on the bed, Rei's hand resting on Ami's own. Ami was
smiling shyly as Rei told her all about everyone, and how much they all
missed her. "Are you ready, Ami-chan?" she asked. "Can I tell them that
you're open for more visitors?" She looked hopefully into Ami's eyes.
Ami thought for a minute. She'd been there almost two months, refusing
any visitors except Rei-chan and her mother... and she couldn't really
refuse her mother's visits as her legal guardian. If it weren't for
that, she'd only have one visitor at all. But she and her mother were
working things out with a counselor, and her mother'd begun to change
already. She loved having Rei visit, but she did miss everyone. "Ne,
it's been a long time, hasn't it," she said.
Rei nodded. "You're doing so much better, Ami-chan." She smiled. She
had good reason to be excited about that. "Usagi, at least, wants to
make sure you're okay... we haven't even told them why you're in the
hospital, you know. They're really getting worried, even when I tell
them you're fine."
Ami smiled. "I heard that Sailormoon tried to break into the cancer ward
last night," she giggled. "I guess I should have them in, so they know
I'm okay before they terrorize more patients." She frowned. "Do you think
they'll be angry with me?"
Rei shook her head. "No way. They'll be relieved you're not dying of some
mysterious disease." She grabbed her hair up in ponytails, imitating
Usagi's odangos. "Oh, she's wasting away from some strange sickness from
using the computer too much and she's dying in the arms of some big,
strong doctor... only she'll come out of it at the last second and they'll
run off and get married and I'll never see her again! WAAAAHHHHHH!!" she
mimicked and was rewarded with Ami's laughter.
"If only they knew," Ami smiled, grabbing Rei's hand and squeezing it. I've
been swept away by a beautiful priestess instead!" They giggled, then
Rei sobered.
"Are you ready to tell them, Ami?"
"Are you?"
Rei thought. It'd been a little easier when it was Ami's decision. But now
that they'd all be together again, she didn't want to hide it, so...
"I'm ready."
Ami nodded. "Then... let's call Usagi first, okay?"
Rei grinned and stood up. "I'll get the phone from the office." Patients
weren't allowed to keep things with cords in their room. Another safety
measure that was starting to drive Ami nuts. She returned after a moment
and hooked it up. Ami took the receiver and dialed. Soon a very familiar,
very dear, and very ditzy voice answered the phone.
"Mamo-chan?! Oh, Ami... Ami-chan! I'm SO glad to hear from you! I thought
you were kidnapped!" Ami giggled, shaking her head at Usagi's silliness.
"I have something to tell you, Usagi..."
********************
Spring. The cherry trees at Hikawa Jinja filled the air with their scent,
their pink petals scattered across the ground. Ami was finally out of
the hospital, mostly fixed up and set for counseling and medication to keep her
stable. She was finally out, and ready for Rei. Rei smiled. She'd have to
sweep up all the blossoms, but as it was, it was a beautiful sight. She held her
broom for a moment, lost in thoughts of her blue-eyed girl.
"Rei!" Ami came running out of the shrine to her side. "I finished sweeping
the fire room. So your chores are finished, right? We can go?"
Rei blinked. Had she been spacing out that long? She turned to Ami, dropping
her broom. "I still have to sweep..." she turned slightly. There was Yuuichiro,
hiding behind a cherry tree... watching her. Again.
"Hold on a sec," she said and grabbed the broom. She ran over to Yuiichiro
while Ami watched, said something that made Yuuichiro almost fall over, shoved
the broom at him and ran back. "Ready," she smiled.
Ami grinned. "Dressed like that?" she laughed. Rei looked down. Shinto garb
wasn't exactly appropriate for this. "Right," she smiled. "Give me a
minute."
A short bus ride later, two girls walked hand-in-hand through Juuban park. They
joined a group of girls sprawled around a picnic table and were greeted with
hugs and smiles. They all enjoyed Makoto's delicious picnic lunch, and spent
time catching up with every one of their friends. Ami was truly happy, and Rei
was in bliss seeing her that way. After a while, Haruka and Michiru showed up
and congratulated them. Michiru gave Ami a warm hug and whispered words of
encouragement, then Haruka had her turn. Rei smiled at them both, then both
couples went their ways to wander through the trees.
Standing under a willow tree overlooking the lake, Rei wrapped her arms around
Ami's waist, while Ami curled one arm around Rei's neck and cupped Rei's chin
with the other. "Ai shiteru," they whispered as one as they leaned in for their
first, and sweetest, kiss.
*******************
Hm. OK, so maybe that wasn't as shoujo-ai-ish as you might've hoped for...
but, I'm feeling a sequel coming on. If that makes you want to run screaming,
email me (medusa@saintly.com) and throw an ofuda at me or something. If you
liked it, by all means tell me so ^_^ If the sequel does get written, it will have more romance for Rei and Ami.
This did not take the path I'd expected when I started out. I wanted to hook
up Rei and Ami because I have yet to see them as a pair. And I thought they'd
make a cute couple. But I never meant to make Ami suicidal! It just happened.
It just occurred to me that she might be shy because she's depressed. One thing
led to another. I hope it didn't disappoint.
As I said, comments/suggestions/questions/bribes are always welcome. Drop me a
line.
Cheers!
Medusa
(the scary snake lady)
fanfic. This about Ami and Rei, a couple I have yet to see. I
noticed that and decided to make up for the lack. And, I was
procrastinating writing a paper so I spent the night writing this.
This story is not hentai or ecchi. It's just a little... sort
of... romance.
I have to put in my own disclaimer. This story has to do with
depression and things that spring from it. If you're inclined to
hurt yourself in any way, shape, or form, then please don't read
this story. It was driven quite a bit from my experiences a
few years ago, and I guess I was finally exorcising them. This
wouldn't have been safe for me to read back then, so ... yeah.
I might be exaggerating but I'd rather do that than have something
happen.
Standard disclaimer. I don't own Sailormoon or any of the characters
in this fic except for the nurse! I'm incredibly broke so I hope
nobody sues me for playing with their characters when they weren't
looking.
Blue Girl Blue
by Medusa
Rei wiped her forehead as she put the broom back in its corner. The
walk was finally swept, and before anyone showed up. She actually had
time to clean up before the meeting. She stepped into the entry hall
and headed for her room, humming to herself.
She slipped out of her shrine uniform and into a towel, and sang a
few lines out loud. "Pure snow, pure heart..." Her clear voice filled
the room, but it trailed away as she entered the hall, lost in thought.
"Rei-chan? Your grandfather let me in."
"Eep! Don't sneak up on me like tha..." she spun around. Ami held
her books to her chest, smiling softly. "Ami-chan! I thought you were
Usagi..."
"This early? Did you tell her the meeting was an hour ago again?"
Rei grinned. "No, but I should have. I'll remember that next time.
Ne, what are you doing here so early? The meeting isn't for half an
hour yet." Rei suddenly remembered that she was wearing nothing but
a towel... out where anyone could see. She turned red and pulled the
towel a little tighter. Ami's gaze followed her eyes down to the
towel, then quickly snapped away.
Ami flushed. "I... I thought I'd do some studying while I waited. I
didn't have juken so..." she trailed off, staring over Rei's shoulder.
Rei glanced back in time to see a flash of blue disappear around the
corner. Yuuichiro... Rei's eyes flared.
"Ami-chan, go ahead and get comfortable. I'll be back in a bit."
Rei turned and walked toward the bath, leaving Ami to slip inside the
door. Rei fumed as she strode down the hall. That damn Yuuichiro...
spying on her again! She'd just about had it. She'd lost count of how
many times she'd turned around to see him watching her in the last few
weeks. He always had a weird look on his face, as if he were afraid of
something. Rei's eyes narrowed. She'd make /sure/ he was afraid
of her, after this! Just wait... she promised herself. I'll have a
talk with him as soon as everyone's left.
She decided to skip the soak in the bathtub and just scrub in the shower,
staring into space as she lathered her hair. Of course Ami was the first
one to arrive, but she seemed more shy than she had in a long time.
Like she had something on her mind... Rei frowned. Maybe she'd come
early to talk. She quickly started rinsing her long hair,
hoping she'd get back out before any of the others arrived.
*******
Ami knelt at Rei's table, sighing as she set out her books for studying.
She'd hoped Rei would be free before the meeting, but she was busy as
usual. She wondered what it would take to get her alone and not busy.
She was starting to have second thoughts anyway. Rei was so vibrant,
she nearly glowed sometimes. She wouldn't understand.
Ami opened her math and started going over the exercises. She'd already
done them, but the structure was soothing. She was drawn into the
calculations, filling her mind with orderly formulas. Soon she was
nose-deep in her book and completely absorbed. She barely noticed Rei
returning for clothes, then again to sit by Ami.
She did notice when Rei just sat there, looking at her for ten minutes.
Ami closed her book and looked back silently. She couldn't tell what
lay in Rei's eyes, but they were scrutinizing her as if she were reading
the Sacred Fire. Ami wondered briefly if Rei had learned how to read
minds.
"Ami-chan, is there something on your mind?" Rei finally asked. "If
you need to talk, I'm here."
Ami looked down at her book, thinking for a minute. This /was/ why
she was here, she rationalized. Rei could tell there was something...
so... maybe... she swallowed hard, her eyes swimming for a moment as
panic rose in her throat. She closed her eyes and cleared her thoughts,
then smiled up at Rei.
"It's nothing." Ami smiled cheerfully (or, she tried to), but Rei
frowned.
"Ami-chan," she started, but was interrupted when the door banged open.
"Ta-da-daaaa! It is I, Aino Minako, Queen of Shopping!" the blonde
trumpeted, waving a shopping bag in front of Rei. "Guess what I found
at the mall!" She skipped over and grabbed a seat. "Ne, Rei-chan,
I stopped by just to window shop, but I found the most adorable dress!"
She pulled out a pale yellow spaghetti-strap and held it up to herself.
"What do you think? There was a red one that would look stunning on
you too!"
Rei blinked. Ami stifled a sigh. "Kawaii wa, Minako-chan! Er,"
Rei glanced at Ami. "I'm going to make some tea. Can you help me,
Ami-chan?" Ami nodded and got to her feet. "We'll be right back,
ok, Minako?" Minako looked a little disappointed for a second, but
produced another sunny grin.
"No problem! I'll just put this on real quick and model for everyone
when they get here!" She jumped up and headed for the bathroom to
change.
Ami watched her silently. Rei took her arm to get her going, then
led the way to the kitchen. She got the tea kettle out while Ami
started setting up a tray with cups.
"So what's on your mind?" Rei asked. She was starting to sound a
little impatient. Ami sighed. Rei was trying to be nice, she
knew... she couldn't remember exactly why she'd picked Rei to talk
to, considering... but she was the only one she felt comfortable
turning to, besides Usagi. But Usagi was so tied up
with Mamoru, Ami didn't want to disturb that either. She could
talk to Rei instead, she was sure... she swallowed and struggled
for control as another wave of sadness washed over her.
She didn't see Rei coming until she was wrapped in a hug. "It's all
right, Ami-chan," Rei whispered, holding the blue-haired girl gently.
"Just tell me what's wrong."
"I. I don't know!" Ami choked, finally losing her fight against the
tears that'd been threatening to spill all afternoon. "I just... I
feel so..." she shook her head and leaned on her friend as tears
streamed from her eyes. Rei simply stood there, rubbing Ami's back
and murmuring soothing words. Ami just let herself go. She didn't
see Makoto poke her head into the kitchen and get waved away, wide-eyed,
by Rei. She didn't feel the minutes pass until she
was spent, exhausted, and felt Rei's damp blouse under her cheek.
"Gomen, Rei-chan," she said, pulling away. "I ruined your shirt..."
Rei shook her head and smiled. "It's only water, Ami. Um. Want
to talk about it?"
Ami looked down and caught a look at her watch. 4:20?? Everyone
would be here by now! "Rei-chan, we're late..."
Rei shook her head. "They'll understand. Nothing's going on,
they're probably gobbling Mako-chan's cookies and gossiping anyway."
She gave Ami another quick hug. "Don't hold it all in, Ami-chan.
It'll only hurt you more if you do."
Ami nodded. "All right... but we really are late... can it be after
the meeting?" She wanted time to get ready. Rei thought for a
second, then nodded.
"The chores can wait. You're more important, Ami-chan. Ano... want
to finish the tea so you have time to calm down? I'll go let them
know we're alive," she smiled and walked out the door.
***********
Makoto was standing down the hall when Rei entered the hall, arms
folded and leaning against the wall. She was obviously guarding
the door, making sure Ami and Rei weren't disturbed.
"Daijoubu?" she asked quietly, looking at the door. Rei nodded and
smiled, brushing at the wet spot on her shoulder. Mako nodded and
followed Rei to the front room where the others sat. Haruka and
Michiru had shown up for once, baby Hotaru in Michiru's arms. They
were talking quietly, while Usagi and Minako were engaged in a
contest of who could stuff the most cookies in their mouths. Rei
smirked as she sat down.
"Why try, Minako-chan? We both know Odango-atama's got the biggest mouth
in Juuban," she commented casually.
"Rmph mph!" Usagi was muffled by her mouthload of chocolate chips...
she couldn't even defend her honor with a good old-fashioned tongue
war. Rei laughed and nodded to the Outers. Haruka was talking to
Michiru, but her eye kept wandering to Usagi's mouth in consternation.
Rei understood her thoughts exactly. Only the power of the Ginzuishou
get all that down her throat.
"Konnichiwa, Haruka-san and Michiru-san," she smiled. "Sorry I wasn't
here earlier."
Haruka shrugged. "We're only here because of Odango, anyway," she said.
"She was running like every daemon in hell was after her, so
we decided to give her a ride." Michiru smiled and thrust her elbow
into Haruka's side. "Umph! What?!"
"Language, Haruka," Michiru said serenely. She patted little Hotaru on
the back. "She understands more than you think." Baby Hotaru chuckled
and blew a raspberry.
A rattle of cups announced Ami's arrival as she navigated the narrow
doorway. "Sorry the tea took so long, mina-san." She set the tray
down and looked at what used to be the plate of Mako's cookies. "I'm
too late for the cookies, I see."
Usagi turned tomato-red and looked abashed. She finally managed to
swallow. "Gomen-nasai, Ami-chan! I was just so hungry... and Minako
was shoveling them down so I thought no one else could get any... and
we just..."
"It's okay, Usagi-chan," Ami said. She sat next to Rei and greeted
the Outers. Michiru smiled at her warmly.
Luna hopped up on the table, looking irritated. "Well, now that we're
/all/ here," she said stiffly. "I can't believe Rei and Ami were
later than Usagi!" Usagi started wailing, Rei rolled her eyes and
the Outers started to laugh as Rei snapped at Usagi to shape up.
Usagi stuck out her now-free tongue at Rei, and Rei of course
had to return the favor.
Soon the meeting was a shambles, but Rei was glad to see one thing.
Ami was smiling again.
***************
When the others had left, some of them (namely, Usagi) having to
be chased out after being relieved of Rei's manga,
Rei had Ami settle in her room while Rei cleaned up. She was
just starting to grumble to herself that no one ever bothered to help
clean up when Ami came back out and started setting the dishes on the
tray. Rei smiled at her and between them they had the room
cleaned up in minutes. Then they headed back to Rei's room and
sat on her futon.
Ami sat there for a while, staring quietly at the blank wall.
Rei drew her legs up and crossed them under her, and waited
patiently. After a few minutes she rested her left hand on
Ami's shoulder. Ami relaxed a little at that, and after a few
more minutes she started to talk.
"I don't really know what it is. My mother hasn't been home
much, so I can't talk to her. And you know Usagi's all wound up
in Mamoru-san..." she flushed. Rei nodded, wondering where this
was going. "I suppose I just want to explain why I came to you,
in case you were wondering. You just seemed like the right person."
Rei nodded again. Ami went on. "I just feel so sad... and I don't know
why. I don't want to study, I don't want to go anywhere, I just
sleep whenever I'm home. On my last exam..." she blushed red.
"It's stupid."
Rei shook her head. "I've never known you to be stupid since I
met you," she said. "I won't change my mind about you just because
you're sad about something."
"Well... my scores were tenth in the standardized tests this year.
I missed some of the English because I couldn't concentrate."
Rei's jaw dropped, but she just sat and looked at Ami. Ami
couldn't concentrate? She'd thought she'd never see the day.
Ami went on quietly. "My life feels like it's falling apart,
Rei-chan." She bent her head silently. When Rei leaned forward
to look at her face, tears were rolling from her eyes again. Rei
pulled her in for a hug again and held her tight.
"I'm here for you, Ami," she whispered. Ami started to sob, and
Rei just held her until she quieted. Her breath evened, and
dropped into sleep as Rei held her. As gently as she could,
Rei pulled Ami onto the bed more and pulled a blanket over her.
"Oh, Ami-chan..." she murmured. What could be bothering her so
much?
She looked outside. Night had already fallen. If she was home,
Ami's mother would be worried.
Rei went to the phone and called Ami's place, but there was no
answer. She just left a message on the machine, trying not to
sound angry that Ami's mother wasn't there for her. "Mizuno-sensei,
this is Rei Hino, Ami's friend. She's staying over here because
it just got too late for her to walk home. Gomen-nasai, that was
my fault. If you need to talk to her, here's the number..." Rei
rattled off the shrine's phone number and hung up. Ami's mom
would probably wonder why Ami didn't call herself, but there wasn't
any help for that.
Rei went back to her room and sat next to Ami's sleeping form.
She sat up, waiting to see if Ami woke up and wanted to talk, but
the night dragged on without her stirring once. Finally her eyes
drooped closed and she sprawled across the foot of the bed.
**********************
Ami woke up wondering where she was, but then recognized Rei
sleeping at her feet. Ami frowned and pushed off the covers. She
hated herself for staying so long, bothering her friend. She
got to her feet and gathered her books. She thought for a moment,
then pulled out a piece of paper and wrote a note in the faint
moonlight:
Dear Rei-chan,
I'm sorry I was so much trouble tonight. I
didn't mean to take your bed. I appreciate
you sitting with me. Anyway... sorry for
the trouble. Thank you for being there,
anyway, and for being a friend.
Sayonara.
Ami
********************
"TROUBLE?!" Rei exclaimed. She stared at the note in disbelief.
"How can she possibly think... she... argh!" She crumpled the
note and threw it away. She only took time to yank a comb
through her hair and straighten it up before leaving. She didn't
like the sound of that goodbye. She had to check on Ami.
A bus ride across Juuban and running for a couple of blocks
brought her to Ami's home. She lived in the top two floors of
a fancy apartment building, and Rei paused to stare at it in
wonder yet again before walking up to the door. It was a
beautiful building, with ornate carvings at the corners and
pillars along the front. Rei hoped she could live in a place
like this someday. She was about to knock when she heard
voices behind the door.
"...disappearing like that! And your /friend/ was the only one
to think of calling! Since you did so badly on those exams, maybe
I should ground you until you bring your average back up!" Rei
blinked. Was that Ami's /mother/? She heard Ami's voice, but
couldn't make out what she said.
"You're right about that, young lady! You just mind me. I don't
need to get embarrassed again, I can tell you that."
Rei stepped back from the door, just in time for it to swing past
her face to show Dr. Mizuno ready to walk out the door. She was
still berating Ami, who stared at the floor in shame. Rei's eyes
narrowed, and she stepped behind the door as Dr. Mizuno marched out
and down the hall without even noticing her. Rei glared at her
back, her look turning murderous as she heard Ami start to cry
through the open doorway. 'What she needs is a Fire Soul to burn
out whatever's stuck up her ass,' she thought, and went in the
door. Ami was gone.
Rei knocked on the doorframe. "Ami-chan?" she called. No answer.
Rei walked in and closed the door behind her. "Ami!"
Rei had decided to head up the stairs to Ami's room when she heard
clattering in the kitchen. "Ami?" Rei murmured, following the
sound. She walked in the kitchen to see Ami crumpled against a
cupboard. A drawer lay on its side near her, spilling knives
and serving utensils across the floor. Ami grabbed hold of a
steak knife and held it to her wrist. Rei could hear her heavy
breathing.
"Ami-chan?" she gasped. Ami looked up at her, her blue eyes so hopeless
Rei wanted to cry herself. She felt a tear slip out of her eye.
Ami drew the knife up a little, the blade parallel with her arm.
"If I do it this way, it'll work better," Ami said. She closed her
eyes and started putting pressure on the knife. "Nobody needs me
anyway..."
"AMI!" Rei ran across the room and tackled the blue-haired girl,
snatching her hands and prying them apart. "Stop it! Don't
do this! Please!"
Ami fought, crying again as she pushed the knife toward
her arm again. Failing that, she pointed the knife at her throat and
started to pull. "Rei-chan, let me go. I have to, I can't
do anything anymore. Just let me go. Just let me go."
Rei shook her head. "No. I won't." She felt the blood pounding
in her own ears. She gritted her teeth and pulled one more time,
finally getting the knife out of Ami's hands. Ami immediately reached
for another, but Rei kicked them away and grabbed Ami's arms. Ami
went on crying, glaring at Rei and struggling to get away.
Rei started to cry. "Please Ami-chan, stop. Please!" Ami ignored
her. "If I have to... I'll transform..." she gasped as Ami kicked
her, but didn't let go. "Just stop! We can talk about it!"
Ami's years of constant studying made her no match for Rei's life of hard
work at the shrine, Senshi training or not, and finally Ami gave up.
Rei kneeled there for a moment, breathing hard and trying to think
what to do next.
"Come on," Rei choked out, pulling Ami to her feet. "Let's get out
of here, okay? Okay?" Ami didn't say anything, but got up quietly
and let Rei lead her to the living room. Rei sat her on the sofa and
took her arm. "Let me see, Ami-chan. Ok? Please?" Ami didn't resist as
Rei peeled Ami's right hand from her left wrist. She'd managed to
cut herself a little, but the bleeding was already slowed.
Rei got Ami up again and took her upstairs. She was out of words,
all of a sudden. She bandaged Ami up in the bathroom, then took her
to her room. Ami sat down when Rei took her to the bedside, and Rei
sat next to her. She thought about what Ami's mother'd said... and
her temper started to burn. How DARE she hurt Ami-chan like that!
Her tears dried up and she glared into the wall, hating Ami's mother.
Ami's small hand reached over to touch Rei. "Gomen nasai," Ami
whispered. "I didn't want you to hate me. I'm sorry." Rei turned
to her, startled.
"Why?" Rei asked.
"I... I don't want you mad at me," Ami whispered. "I'm sorry I bother
everyone so much."
"You don't," Rei stated. "We all love you, Ami-chan. Why do you want
to leave us all?" Ami went blank at that. She shrugged and stared
down at her lap. "Don't you want to stay with us?"
"No," Ami whispered. "I shouldn't have talked to you... I need to get
away. I'm useless. Even as a Sailor Senshi I can't do anything but
think. Is that all I'm good for? A brain and nothing else?"
Rei didn't know what to say. She reached out and took Ami's hand. Ami
stared blankly.
"Do you know," she whispered. "Do you know I can't ever find love?"
Rei's eyes popped wide open. Where'd this come from? "Ano..."
"Because the one I love could never love me." Ami's voice hitched a
notch. Rei pulled up her knees to kneel on the bed and put her hands
on Ami's shoulders.
"Ami-chan..."
"Because I'm stupid, I'm not good for *anything* and she'll never like
me back! She's practically dating this guy... she's so different from
me..." she started to cry again. Rei boggled. Ami liked a girl?! Who?
She ignored the small excited feeling in her breast and frowned. Time
to knock some sense into this girl.
"Ami-chan!" Rei snapped. Ami looked up, startled. Rei stared at her
seriously, making sure she had her attention.
"Ami. I really care about you. So does Usagi, Minako, Makoto, the
Outers, and Chibiusa. Mamoru likes you, and not just because you're
his girlfriend's friend! There is nothing about you that isn't sweet,
or lovable," she went on. She felt like her heart would break, seeing
Ami like this. "If this girl doesn't love you back, then she's blind!
She's an idiot, and you deserve better than some moron that doesn't
recognize how wonderful you are." Ami sat looking up at Rei, her
eyes wide. She said nothing.
"As for what you said about being worthless... it's so wrong it'd be
funny in any other situation. I've lost count of how many times your
plans saved us when just attacking didn't work. We'd all be dead a
hundred times over if it wasn't for you!" Rei started to cry again.
"Besides that, we all know how caring you are. You're always ready
to help and you have such a big heart."
Ami shook her head. Rei squeezed her hands. "Believe it, Ami-chan.
We love you for everything you are. You're creative--remember that
song you wrote? Remember how you got through to Urawa-san when we
thought we were finished? What about how much you care about everybody,
and how much we all care about you?" Ami lowered her head, but Rei
lifted her chin. "I swear to you, by my guardian planet Mars, that
everything I'm saying is true. Please, please believe me."
Ami stared at her for a moment. Then slowly, the blankness in her
eyes filled with sadness, but also just a little hope. She nodded
slowly. "All right," she said. "I'll try, okay, Rei-chan?"
Rei smiled sadly. She knew what came next, but didn't want to go
there yet. "Ano... Ami-chan, who is it you like? Can you tell me?" It was
still a surprise to her that Ami was gay... but it didn't matter.
Especially not to Rei.
Ami blushed. "Um, I..." she fumbled.
"Someone I know?" Rei asked. Ami nodded. "Are we both friends with her?"
Ami thought for a second, then shrugged. Her face turned deep red, and
she pulled away from Rei a little, gazing into Rei's eyes.
"I don't want to tell you, because you won't like me after I do," Ami
whispered.
Rei smiled. "I think we established that you can kick me while I'm
down and I'll still hold on to you." She blinked, thinking of something.
"Ami-chan... is it me?"
Ami's face turned scarlet. Rei'd never seen anything so red... except
maybe a fire engine... "I'll take that as a yes." She could feel her
face warming up a little herself. She reached out and hugged Ami close.
"See?" she whispered. "I'm still your friend." She was shaking.
"I know it's hopeless," Ami muttered. "You and Kumada-san..."
Rei snorted. "No way!" she said. "Why do you think I've been beating
him away with my broom? He's such an idiot!"
Ami shrugged. "I'm sorry, Rei-chan," she whispered.
Rei squeezed Ami again, then sat back. "Ne, Ami-chan," she said. "We
have to talk about something. You... you were really serious downstairs.
You scared me."
"Gomen nasai."
"Please don't apologize. Just don't do that again, okay?" Ami nodded.
"I think we should take you to the hospital," Rei said tentatively.
Ami shook her head.
"No hospital."
"I'm sorry Ami, but I'm afraid you'll try that again. I want to know you're
safe so I can sleep at night."
Ami stared at her lap. "Why? You don't l... like me back."
Rei was quiet for a minute. She wasn't sure what to say. Like she'd said,
there was a big reason why she didn't respond to Yuuichiro's courting, but
she wasn't sure if this was the right time. She stared into Ami's pretty
blue eyes, then came to a decision.
"Ami," she whispered. "When I said I love you, I meant it." She leaned
forward and brushed Ami's cheek with her lips, ending the motion by resting
her forehead against Ami's temple. "Ami, you're beautiful. I wish this
weren't the way I found out you cared for me." Ami froze, barely breathing,
as if she was afraid she'd break the moment.
"Ami, I don't think it's a good time." Ami slumped. "Please, understand.
I want to make sure you're safe before we start something. If anything
happened... I'd never forgive myself. Or you! Don't you dare leave me now!"
she mock-growled. Her arm found its way around Ami's waist and squeezed.
"I really think it's more than just me that's been bothering you. I think
you need a doctor who isn't your mother. I heard what she said to you, and
I just bet she's a big part of the problem. You need to get things fixed."
"If we wait then..." Ami chewed her lip. "Then maybe you'll change your
mind..."
Rei shook her head and kissed Ami's forehead. "I've waited two years so far.
I can wait a little longer." Ami smiled shyly, and pecked Rei's cheek.
"I can wait too. If... if I go, will you visit?"
Rei grinned. "Wild horses couldn't drag me away."
********************
Nurse Kawaguchi opened the door, knocking lightly. Ami smiled and waved
her in. The knocking was just to be polite; technically, they could come
in and check on her whenever they wanted. "Ohaiyo, Kawaguchi-san." The
pretty woman smiled.
"Mizuno-san, someone's here to see you. Do you want to see her?"
Ami smiled brightly. "Is it Rei-chan?" Her smile broadened as the nurse
nodded. She jumped up and rushed out to the hall, waiting impatiently as
Kawaguchi-san followed more slowly. Ami got up on tiptoe to look through
the ward door window, barely catching a glimpse of raven hair. Finally
Kawaguchi unlocked the door and Ami jumped into Rei's arms.
Rei blushed. "Hi, Ami-chan," she said. She took Ami's hand and walked in,
making room for the door to get locked again. Nurse Kawaguchi smiled as
she watched the girls go to Ami's room; it was always nice to see patients
have such good friends.
The girls settled on the bed, Rei's hand resting on Ami's own. Ami was
smiling shyly as Rei told her all about everyone, and how much they all
missed her. "Are you ready, Ami-chan?" she asked. "Can I tell them that
you're open for more visitors?" She looked hopefully into Ami's eyes.
Ami thought for a minute. She'd been there almost two months, refusing
any visitors except Rei-chan and her mother... and she couldn't really
refuse her mother's visits as her legal guardian. If it weren't for
that, she'd only have one visitor at all. But she and her mother were
working things out with a counselor, and her mother'd begun to change
already. She loved having Rei visit, but she did miss everyone. "Ne,
it's been a long time, hasn't it," she said.
Rei nodded. "You're doing so much better, Ami-chan." She smiled. She
had good reason to be excited about that. "Usagi, at least, wants to
make sure you're okay... we haven't even told them why you're in the
hospital, you know. They're really getting worried, even when I tell
them you're fine."
Ami smiled. "I heard that Sailormoon tried to break into the cancer ward
last night," she giggled. "I guess I should have them in, so they know
I'm okay before they terrorize more patients." She frowned. "Do you think
they'll be angry with me?"
Rei shook her head. "No way. They'll be relieved you're not dying of some
mysterious disease." She grabbed her hair up in ponytails, imitating
Usagi's odangos. "Oh, she's wasting away from some strange sickness from
using the computer too much and she's dying in the arms of some big,
strong doctor... only she'll come out of it at the last second and they'll
run off and get married and I'll never see her again! WAAAAHHHHHH!!" she
mimicked and was rewarded with Ami's laughter.
"If only they knew," Ami smiled, grabbing Rei's hand and squeezing it. I've
been swept away by a beautiful priestess instead!" They giggled, then
Rei sobered.
"Are you ready to tell them, Ami?"
"Are you?"
Rei thought. It'd been a little easier when it was Ami's decision. But now
that they'd all be together again, she didn't want to hide it, so...
"I'm ready."
Ami nodded. "Then... let's call Usagi first, okay?"
Rei grinned and stood up. "I'll get the phone from the office." Patients
weren't allowed to keep things with cords in their room. Another safety
measure that was starting to drive Ami nuts. She returned after a moment
and hooked it up. Ami took the receiver and dialed. Soon a very familiar,
very dear, and very ditzy voice answered the phone.
"Mamo-chan?! Oh, Ami... Ami-chan! I'm SO glad to hear from you! I thought
you were kidnapped!" Ami giggled, shaking her head at Usagi's silliness.
"I have something to tell you, Usagi..."
********************
Spring. The cherry trees at Hikawa Jinja filled the air with their scent,
their pink petals scattered across the ground. Ami was finally out of
the hospital, mostly fixed up and set for counseling and medication to keep her
stable. She was finally out, and ready for Rei. Rei smiled. She'd have to
sweep up all the blossoms, but as it was, it was a beautiful sight. She held her
broom for a moment, lost in thoughts of her blue-eyed girl.
"Rei!" Ami came running out of the shrine to her side. "I finished sweeping
the fire room. So your chores are finished, right? We can go?"
Rei blinked. Had she been spacing out that long? She turned to Ami, dropping
her broom. "I still have to sweep..." she turned slightly. There was Yuuichiro,
hiding behind a cherry tree... watching her. Again.
"Hold on a sec," she said and grabbed the broom. She ran over to Yuiichiro
while Ami watched, said something that made Yuuichiro almost fall over, shoved
the broom at him and ran back. "Ready," she smiled.
Ami grinned. "Dressed like that?" she laughed. Rei looked down. Shinto garb
wasn't exactly appropriate for this. "Right," she smiled. "Give me a
minute."
A short bus ride later, two girls walked hand-in-hand through Juuban park. They
joined a group of girls sprawled around a picnic table and were greeted with
hugs and smiles. They all enjoyed Makoto's delicious picnic lunch, and spent
time catching up with every one of their friends. Ami was truly happy, and Rei
was in bliss seeing her that way. After a while, Haruka and Michiru showed up
and congratulated them. Michiru gave Ami a warm hug and whispered words of
encouragement, then Haruka had her turn. Rei smiled at them both, then both
couples went their ways to wander through the trees.
Standing under a willow tree overlooking the lake, Rei wrapped her arms around
Ami's waist, while Ami curled one arm around Rei's neck and cupped Rei's chin
with the other. "Ai shiteru," they whispered as one as they leaned in for their
first, and sweetest, kiss.
*******************
Hm. OK, so maybe that wasn't as shoujo-ai-ish as you might've hoped for...
but, I'm feeling a sequel coming on. If that makes you want to run screaming,
email me (medusa@saintly.com) and throw an ofuda at me or something. If you
liked it, by all means tell me so ^_^ If the sequel does get written, it will have more romance for Rei and Ami.
This did not take the path I'd expected when I started out. I wanted to hook
up Rei and Ami because I have yet to see them as a pair. And I thought they'd
make a cute couple. But I never meant to make Ami suicidal! It just happened.
It just occurred to me that she might be shy because she's depressed. One thing
led to another. I hope it didn't disappoint.
As I said, comments/suggestions/questions/bribes are always welcome. Drop me a
line.
Cheers!
Medusa
(the scary snake lady)