This story takes place in its entirety in the boy's dorm room, sixth year, MWPP era. The characters are terribly OOC, but that's okay--it is, after all, just for laughs.

I wrote it in response to a challenge, which I'll post at the end of the ficlet.

Disclaimer: I don't own the marauders or Lily. I do, however, own the dragonhide pants.

Warnings: Mild slash, OOC, shortness.

The One where Remus Lost the Pants

By DC

"Uh-oh..." four voices chorused.

Remus paled. "Siri's gonna kill me..."

James nodded. "Totally."

"That wasn't very reassuring."

"I don't think it was meant to be," Lily offered.

"I haven't said anything yet," Peter said.

"I can't believe I lost Siri's dragonhide pants!" Remus wailed. He dove under his bed, tossing out various joke items and articles of clothing--none were Sirius' dragonhide trousers. "Those were his favorite pants, and he was so sexy in them, too!"

"Okay, okay... Here's what we'll do. Pete and I will search the common room and Lily'll search the girls' dorm. Okay?" James said.

"What about me? What'll I do?"

James looked at the huge blue eyes blinking in the darkness under the bed. "Stay here, wait by the Spellphone, spray disinfectant in my shoe, and wait for Sirius to kill you."

Remus blinked. "What about your shoe?"

"The monkey crapped in my shoe." With those last encouraging words, James, Lily, and Pete disappeared.

Remus wailed and came out from under the bed. He tore around the room, digging through his trunk, Sirius' trunk, James' trunk, and Peter's trunk. Pretty soon, there were clothes all over the dorm room. Sirius' dragonhide trousers weren't there.

He burrowed under all four beds. More joke items, old Cauldron Cakes, a box of sugar quills, a Fanged Frisbee, and Peter's embarrassing dress robes were found, but no dragonhide trousers.

He tore through the Marauders' dressers. Various underwear, socks, and hidden love notes James had never sent were uncovered, but no dragonhide trousers.

Remus sat on his bed again, frowning. "Where could they be? Unless he enchanted them, they couldn't have walked off..." An image of Sirius' pants wandering through the corridors invaded Remus' mind, and he burst into fresh tears. "They could be anywhere!"

Sirius entered the room. "Hey, Moony," he said, grinning. He wrapped one arm around Remus' waist and kissed him before going over to James' bed. "Jamie wanted his cloak, dunno why..." Sirius felt around on the bed for the cloak. When he finally had it draped over his arm, causing the interesting effect of him having no elbow, he glanced down and grinned. "Remmie! I asked you to watch my dragonhide trousers! I didn't say you had to hide them under the Invisibility Cloak!"

Giving Remus one last peck on the cheek, Sirius made his way back to the common room.

Remus blinked.

Challenge: The One Where Rachel Loses the Monkey

I was watching Friends with my mom; it was The One Where Rachel Loses Ross's Monkey or something like that... Monica organizes search parties, and tells Rachel to "Stay here, wait by the phone, spray Lysol in my shoe, and wait for Ross to kill you." (The monkey pooped in the shoe before it ran off.)

So. The challenge is this: Write a fic wherein somebody uses that quote. Do whatever needs to be done to make the quote acceptable to the Wizarding world. (If you really want, you could add a few more outrageous commands to that list!) What gets lost and who loses it are completely up to you. Be creative!