Title: Boosting Morale
Author: Lilith1631
Beta: mytailorisrich and aurora1301
Rating: R
Warnings: Wanking, language and eccentric!Draco
Characters: Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger
Disclaimer: I had a dream once that these boys were mine. It was a nice dream. But merely a dream, and I am terribly jealous that it's JK's reality. She owns it all. Except the magazine. That's mine. He he.
Summary: Draco's contribution to the war effort is ethically questionable. (Humour)
xxx
There was a wide strip of trees, that was too small to call a forest and it was all that separated the two fields of filled to the brims with tents. Harry was looking through the trunks of the woods, squinting to see the movement of people or the outline of tents on the other side. The coexistence of the two fields would not last long. When the Order came, the fragile shelter of trees would be burnt down and the air would be stained green.
Death eaters to the west, Order of the Phoenix and the Ministry to the East. They were a shovel away from trench warfare and Harry often wondered if the wizarding world was aware of the horror of the First World War. They could learn from the death and suffering of those Muggles.
Draco came out of the tent they had been sharing for the last three weeks and sat down on a little camping chair beside him. "What are you doing?"
"Looking for them," said Harry, continuing to squint.
"I heard looking at stripes for too long can ruin your eyes. You should stop looking through all those trunks or you'll be completely blind and then what would you be good for?"
It was a typical Draco thing to say. Not 'don't make yourself nervous looking for the enemy' or 'they'll attack whether you're watching them or not and we will be unprepared either way'. No, he couldn't possibly say something sensible. Harry often wondered why Draco was a Squad Leader. He had hardly anything intelligent to say. How the hell he led five hundred men during battle was a mystery.
"What's those?" asked Harry, looking at the papers clutched in the blonde's hands.
"Porn." replied Draco. Harry sighed.
"What are they really? News from HQ?"
"No, porn," said Draco earnestly. He looked around him conspiringly to check none of the other camp Leaders were listening to their conversation. He unfurled one of the parchments and indeed, nestled in among a layout plan of the opposition's camp, was a torn magazine page of two men fucking.
"Why have you got porn?"
"Got to look at something other than the woods, or I'm going to go insane. Besides, keeps my hands busy. I chew my nails terribly otherwise," Draco stood up, smirking, "Can't have ragged nails in battle! I mean, look at yours! Voldemort is going to laugh when he sees them. He will say, 'Potter, you should have been wanking in your last minutes on earth. Avada Kedavra!' That's what he will say. Do you want to be humiliated in your last moments?"
"Erm..." Harry had not idea how to reply to that. Draco smiled down on him kindly and gave him the roll of parchment containing the magazine page and winked.
"There, have that. I've got plenty more." And with that, Draco walked away. Harry laughed at the absurdity of it all and turned back to gaze at the woods. He could hear the strains of Draco's voice twenty minutes later, and he glanced over to see Draco handing out reels of parchment to other Squad Leaders.
xxx
Harry's arms were aching from carrying supplies around the field for the last couple of hours and he was hoping to turn in for the night. As he stepped into the main tent for the Squad Leaders that contained a kitchen and a common room with small fireplace surrounded by sofas, he heard Hermione's shrill voice.
"Pornography!? Why are you giving me lesbian porn and why have I been hearing rumours that you have been handing it out to other Officers?"
"I gave you lesbian porn because I have always thought you and Pansy would make a lovely couple. She's all up for it. I could set you up if you like -"
Harry popped his head round the corner and saw Hermione banishing a piece of glossy paper in Draco's smirking face. "Explain why you are distributing porn to the Officers! NOW!"
Draco shrugged and leaned against a nearby sofa. "It would take their minds off the enemy, relieve tension and boost morale."
Harry blinked. It seemed Hermione was a bit surprised at this response too. "What?" she breathed, either in anger or awe.
Draco sighed the sigh of a man in deep suffering. "Well you do know what porn is there for, right? It's a visual aid. Better to be looking at happy people on pages than at the trees or skies, waiting for an attack. And everyone is so strung up about sitting in a cold, muddy field all day. Clearly, a nice wank is what everyone needs. And wouldn't you feel happier after a wank? Basking in afterglow is obviously a damn sight better than how everyone was this morning. Even Potter looked constipated."
It was now Hermione's turn to sigh. "Fine. But couldn't you have found a better way of boosting morale than pornography?!"
"Don't be such a prude. Besides, this was the lesser of two evils. My other plan was prostitute myself for rations."
Harry decided it was the porn he was carrying in his back pocket that gave him a very naughty thought. Clearly, the porn had powers because everyone had looked more relaxed today.
Hermione looked faint. She shook her head and waved a dismissive hand at him, showing that she was no longer going to pursue any logic in him. Draco winked at her and said, "So...What do you think of Pansy?"
xxx
Harry had never been so glad that they were living in magical tents, otherwise he wouldn't have a four poster bed. He imagined that wanking under a sleeping bag would be a lot harder than behind the rich blue curtains on a king sized bed.
His head was propped up by two pillows so that he could get a straight on view of the glossy page that Draco had given him early. He had used a weak sticking charm to tape it to his knee so it would lay against his thigh when he had his knees bent up and feet flat on the mattress. Harry was pumping his hand in time with the brunette's hips on the page and he had never been so thankful for wizarding photography in his life. The page was quite steamy actually. Two men, spooning against one another. One was blonde, the other brunette and if Harry squinted...
The camera angle was a penetration shot and followed the length of their bodies to show the deep pleasure on the blonde's face at being stretched and breached in slow thrusts by the other man. Like all wizarding pictures, the graphic people got just to the edge of coming before it began to reply over again, but Harry took particular pleasure in watching the dirty blonde's eyes screw shut and his back arch into the brunette's chest as he -
"POTTER!" Harry screamed in shock as the curtains around his bed where whipped back and Draco, that dastardly fiend, was smirking with deep amusement down at him. "As an Officer, you should be stealthier than this. Moaning like a wounded dragon is not stealth. Budge over." Draco climbed onto the bed, pulling the curtains closed behind him and gave Harry another amused look, even a quirk of an eyebrow as he ripped the page off his knee. Harry yelped as hairs were torn off his leg and he glared affronted at the interruption and nerve of some people.
"See you like the material I gave you," said Draco conversationally. He reached out and batted Harry's hand away before wrapping his fingers around Harry's erection.
"How did you know I like guys?" stuttered Harry, humping up into Draco's fist. Draco's palm and the pads of his fingers were rough from war and labour and Harry wondered if it would have felt nicer before fighting.
"It's a skill," crowed Draco proudly, swiping his thumb over the bulbous head to gather precum so that his hands could not be quite so rough. "Plus I've seen you watching me bend over for the soap."
A few moments of an intense handjob where Draco's wrist kept clicking loudly on the up-tug were like heaven, but Draco got impatient and was feeling clearly left out of the fun. A quick contraceptive charm and Draco was stripping off with one hand, the other still working Harry into a state of utopia where bunnies ran free and all forests and stripy trees were chopped down to stomps. Draco was half way to having his trousers down by his ankles where loud, obnoxious sirens screeched through the tents. "Ah shit," sighed Draco, buckling his belt up reluctantly.
xxx
"Draco, get off, we've got to go!" said Harry, trying to unfurl Draco's fist from around his dick. Draco just continued to wank him faster and harder.
"Believe me Potter, you don't want to go out there with a stiffy. Voldemort's a fairy and if he sees you pointing more than one wand at him, you might find yourself in a worse fate than death."
Harry stopped struggling. Somehow, it made sense. He closed his eyes and ignored all the commotion of the rest of the camp. He just buried his face back in Draco's neck and pumped his hips into the firm, confident administrations of the world's most eccentric Squad Leader.
xxx
Harry was sure he had screamed someone's name, whether it was Draco's or not, he was uncertain. He just hoped the Slytherin would not take offence if it wasn't his. Opening his eyes languidly, he saw Draco gathering up his wand and cloak hastily.
"Well? What are you waiting for, Potter? A tap on your prostate? Get your wand and let's go!" Draco had already turned on his heel and headed out into the chaotic action of the campsite. Harry gathered his wand and invisibility cloak and stepped outside of the tent. The lethargic afterglow snapped off him as he spied black cloaks sweeping out from the woods.
He was just about to step off into the crowd when Draco crashed into him. "Wha -"
Draco grabbed Harry's sensitive penis through his trousers and gave a painful squeeze. "Listen to me Potter," he hissed into Harry's ear, "don't get caught in Moldy Voldie's sheets, because that's gross and I don't share." Draco placed a brief, harsh kiss on Harry's lips, "Die well."
Gripping Draco's hip briefly before he slipped off into the battle, Harry squared his shoulders and flung his cloak over him, setting off for the fight of his life. He would win. "Die well," he echoed to the retreating blonde figure.
Fin.
Author Note: Enjoyed? Leave a review on your way out! Thank you!