These are not my characters and I make no profit from borrowing them. This story is best understood if read after "Love Makes A Family."
Love Makes A Family: Epiphany
Two months had passed since Trelawney's first fateful day of school, when everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. Things had finally settled down to something approaching normal. The move to sixth grade had gone smoothly. Mrs. Griegan, Hal's old teacher, made sure of that. Back in the good old days they would have called her a battle-ax. She kept her class in line and tolerated no nonsense. The children respected her and obeyed her rules, mostly without complaint. She was tough but she was fair. Trelawney immediately liked her.
The discipline of the classroom was familiar to her and made her feel safe. Francine Fowler made sure that everything went well with the other girls. Though bossy by nature, she had a kind heart. In this respect, she was very unlike her mother. She used her influence with the other girls to insure that Trelawney was welcome at the lunch table and in playground games.
Since the first day when she had risen to the defense of the bullied girl she had taken on the role of guardian angel. Initially, she used it as a means of spending more time at the Everetts, but within a short time it had ceased to be an excuse to see Hal and became a genuine desire to see Trelawney. For once her mother didn't object. As soon as she realized that Francine had made herself a heroine of sorts around the school, she made it one more thing to brag about. Additionally, Trelawney began to spend time at the Fowlers'.
Initially Hal had not been happy that Francine was over at the house more often. Then he discovered that she actually wanted to spend time with Trelawney and that she wasn't going to bug him as much. Although she was five years older than Prudence, Trelawney was determined that the younger girl not be left out. It was an unusual sibling relationship. Generally speaking, older sisters spend a lot of time chasing younger sisters out of their business. Even Francine understood and was patient with Prudence's almost constant presence when they were at Everetts.
However she made it a point not to invite her over when Trelawney came to her own house. This meant that Prudence was not entirely pleased with the way things had worked out. Nanny assured her that she hadn't "lost" her new sister to Francine and that it was good for Trelawney to have friends her own age. After all, did Prudence want Trelawney to have no friends at all? As usual, Nanny's gentle teaching made sense and Prudence started to reconnect with girls her own age. Nanny made a point of arranging more play dates, so that Prudence wouldn't slip back into the loneliness that she had felt before Trelawney arrived.
The only one with a real beef was Waldo, since the Fowler's poodle Fifi used every time that Francine came over as an excuse to visit him. After a talk with Nanny, even Waldo was willing to put up with the inconvenience of Fifi, if it meant that Trelawney was happy. For the most part, things had hit an even keel with the children.
Not so with the adults. Nanny and the Professor had managed to figure out how to return to a comfortable day-to-day existence after finally acknowledging that their relationship was more than a professional one. The explosion of emotions that had occurred following the crisis with Trelawney had changed things inexorably, but neither had any idea of where to go with that. Oddly, each was able to separate the romantic attraction from the professional one fairly easily. However they were still both struggling with the underlying sexual tension. They needed to discover a way for them to somehow make the two threads of their relationship come together.
It wasn't easy. The desire was no less present, but the time and opportunity to explore a deeper relationship to underpin it, was never there. In fact they seemed to be tentative in the proximity they maintained between each other, both physically and emotionally. Discussion was entirely centered on the children, managing the household, and each child's upbringing. Now that Trelawney had been added to the brood, she had slipped quite naturally into the role as fourth sibling. When talking about the children both were aware that they were actually parenting them together. Not only that, they were far more agreeable in their conversations on all topics than most married couples. Household matters had become more like husband and wife discussions than employer and housekeeper.
Furthermore, Nanny had never really had a social life and the Professor's seemed to evaporate especially where women were concerned. He hadn't had a date in months and found out that he didn't miss it. Hal had "innocently" asked him one night at dinner why he hadn't had a date in so long. Nanny looked intently down at her dinner while he explained that he wasn't interested in anyone. He tried to be casual but Hal gave Trelawney a knowing look. He got the distinct impression that his answer had started some wheels turning in the two little minds. But he almost immediately dismissed the thought. What could the kids possibly know?
Later that night, when Nanny brought him his coffee he caught her hand before she could hurry away. She looked at him with her deep blue eyes. Never breaking their gaze he lifted her hand and gently kissed it, pressing his lips against it for a long moment. When he let go she held it against her cheek and softly smiled. Neither of them had forgotten, but neither could discern a forward course. So the household fell into its own comfortable domestic rhythm. He supposed that this was progress although where it was going was unclear.
Nanny was becoming ever more unsure of her own direction. While she knew where she wanted to go, she also knew that it would not be easy. Trelawney knew full well all the obstacles, but Nanny also knew that her sister wanted her to follow her heart. She had realized that Trelawney and Hal had seemed to arrive at a truce of sorts. They argued less and at times seemed to be conspiring together. Phoebe could guess at what, but decided to ignore it. The Professor was completely oblivious. It was hard to tell what his reaction would have been if he did know it.
Thus life was going on apace when a letter came from Emmeline letting them know that she would be dropping in for a visit, just to see how things were going. That made Nanny very uncomfortable. She had never been able to hide anything from her cousin and if she knew about her momentary weakness she would probably be furious. Emmeline knew full well why there could never be that kind of relationship with the Professor. No doubt she sensed, even from afar, that something had disturbed her equilibrium and planned to come sailing in as Phoebe's conscience. And who knew what Trelawney might say or do? Phoebe felt even more on edge than before.
It was much easier for Professor Everett. His decision that in time he would ask Phoebe to marry him was less a matter of choice than simply a matter of the way things had to be. His heart was settled; no other woman existed for him. It was all simply a question of how he would go about courting her properly and when he would choose his moment. After all her recent sorrow he wanted to make her happy. He wanted to create a joyful moment of transition as they began to build a new life together.
He wanted to spend time alone with her, away from the kids, but he also didn't want to start up the rumor mill again. By the same token he didn't dare try to spend time with her alone after the house was asleep. Having come so close to actually making love to her he knew that he might not be able to resist temptation again. And he suspected that if given half a chance Phoebe would try to seduce him.
Her motives were a puzzle. It seemed terribly out of character for her to act this way. The woman however, who had very nearly lured (as she herself admitted at the time) him into what could have been a very dangerous situation, was the one with whom he lived and worked with daily. In many ways she was already the perfect wife and mother. She was an able helpmate in the business of raising the children and managing the home. She held out the promise of being an exciting partner in the bedroom. But most importantly there was a deep and abiding love between them, a rare meeting of the mind and heart and soul that he had never imagined that he would find again. She was also a beauty. Phoebe was everything to him.
In his mind he had begun to think of her as Phoebe when he considered her future role in his life. She was only Nanny when he spoke her name aloud or he thought of her purely in her role as Nanny. Sometimes when they were alone he longed call her Phoebe. It seemed that on a certain level she would never be Nanny to him again. But he knew that addressing her in such a way would immediately change the dynamic between them from outwardly platonic to something along the lines of dynamite. Fortunately she chose to exercise the same caution and never referred to him as anything other than Professor. Her cool efficient manner helped him to hold his own simmering passions in check. They kept each other with within sight, but at arm's length. Thus as Emmeline's impending visit drew nearer, things were stuck in a holding pattern.
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At breakfast one morning Nanny announced that Emmeline was arriving tomorrow. She wanted to see for herself how things were going. Of course she knew about the incident with Prudence at school where Prudence had set the whole town talking about the possibility that Nanny was about to actually produce Prudence's long desired sister. Not to mention that there had been Trelawney's first difficulties there. The incident of bullying and her subsequent response of running away had created an enormously nerve-wracking night for them all. It had been after the child had been safely found, that the revelation of their love had finally happened. However, this was a knowledge that only the two of them shared.
The Professor doubted that she knew much else. At least he hoped that she didn't. Before she had left, three and a half months ago, she had made him promise not to take advantage of Phoebe in her weakness. It was ironic how the situation seemed to have reversed itself. One thing that he did remember from her last visit was that she had the force of personality to make things happen. Considering the state of inertia that things were presently in, it might a very good thing that she was coming. He was surprised to see that Trelawney was apprehensive. Considering how much she loved her cousin and had been going through bouts of homesickness he would have thought that she would be pleased to see her.
As for herself, Trelawney was not looking forward to seeing Emmeline so soon. In fact she had been hoping that Emmeline would stay away until things had reached a more conclusive state between her sister and the Professor. She knew very well that something had changed between the two of them and that it was something that seemed to have unnerved them. Phoebe seemed to be more on edge and the Professor more uncertain than normal. She had become very hopeful. But there was no way to confirm it since Phoebe would never tell her. But all of her instincts told her that they had finally realized that they were in love. However without proof there was nothing that she could do, so she decided to keep her mouth shut.
Now that things had settled down, all the children were longing for a "happily ever after" to what they perceived to be the perfect love story. Of course they didn't know anything definite, so their minds, even pragmatic Hal's, ran wild with their imaginings. Used to reading fairy tales where marriage followed love with the speed of light, they were impatient. How to get the two adults to realize what was so obvious to them? The four had sat and discussed the matter from end to end. What were the signs? They had certainly seen them hugging, but as far as they knew, they had never kissed. Occasionally they intercepted fond looks between them, but never anything more.
As children, they did not have much of an idea of how men and women acted with one another when they were in love. The Professor brought Nanny no gifts or flowers, like they saw in the movies. They never went out on dates. In fact they never seemed to be alone. The only evidence they had was that every time something bad happened the Professor became very concerned for Nanny's welfare. Also, whenever the possibility of Nanny's leaving surfaced, the Professor seemed to go into a tailspin.
But also there was also the fact that Nanny was extremely reluctant to think about leaving and had gone to great lengths to settle where she was. Trelawney assured the others that this was highly unusual for a Figalilly and that it must mean something. If a Figalilly was to settle anywhere for a bit, it was always among other family members, and Trelawney alone did not qualify as an excuse to stay in one place for an indeterminate period of time.
The Everett children had also come to realize that Trelawney also knew something else that she could not tell the other children. Every family of course has secrets, deepest confidences that were only held by those closest to the inner circle. The Figalillys just seemed to have more than others. Hal sensed that there was some obstacle to the fulfillment of the romance, but whatever it was, Trelawney was not saying. If he hadn't admired her loyalty so much and her determination to overcome whatever that obstacle was, he would have been annoyed. After all, he didn't see why they all couldn't help.
Hal was rather pleased that Emmeline was coming. She had impressed him with her cool intelligence and appreciation for his growing maturity. He felt less like a child and more like a young adult in her presence. She had respected his ability to see through the issues and devise a solution to the question of whether Nanny should stay or go when the adults had failed. She had also coined the phrase "love makes a family" and he knew in his heart that she would agree with his own master plan. However he lacked that key bit of information that would allow him to understand why she could never support it.
Thus almost everyone was anticipating Emmeline's arrival with some degree of trepidation, except for maybe Hal. Since she didn't seem like the type of family member to bring presents, Butch and Prudence didn't really care one way or the other.
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As planned, she arrived late in the morning, when the children were at school and the Professor at the university. Before she saw the rest of the family, she needed to see Phoebe alone. After the usual greetings of hugs and kisses, she stood back to get a full look at her cousin.
"It's happened," she said briefly.
Just as briefly Phoebe answered, "Yes."
"How far has it gone?"
"Not far enough," replied Phoebe defiantly.
Emmeline controlled her temper, "Did he . . .?"
"No, he stopped it."
Emmeline breathed a deep sigh of relief. At least he kept his promise.
"What promise?" asked Phoebe suspiciously.
Fortunately, Emmeline was much more adept at disguising her thoughts than Phoebe. However, she saw what was in her cousin's mind and was shocked.
"Phoebe, things are worse with you than I thought. How could you possibly consider . . . what you considered?" Emmeline was horrified at the risk she had been ready to take.
Phoebe looked at her strangely, "Emmeline, I would take that risk today if Hal would let me. But he loves me too much. He controls his physical desires because he is afraid that I am too emotionally fragile."
"Aren't you?" Emmeline was very fearful for her cousin. Thank God that Professor Everett was a man of his word, a man of honor. She remembered him well from her last visit. He was the one who had been weak then, but he must love Phoebe very much. If only . . . She suddenly understood her cousin completely.
Once again she felt the forces of fate and destiny swirling around them, tossing up their lives like leaves in an autumn wind. Once again she felt helpless to discern what the best course was. Phoebe had found a man that she loved absolutely and without the reservations that she should have had, given the other circumstances in her life. Knowing her cousin's devotion to family and especially her parents' wishes, whatever she was feeling had a quality of the "star-crossed" to it. And how often did such relationships end in tragedy?
The fact that she would bind herself to the Professor by bearing his child was more than ample proof. That he wanted to be bound was just as obvious, but fortunately he wanted events to occur in their proper order. Emmeline could not help but wonder what he would do if he knew the full truth of Phoebe's situation. Yet one aspect of the situation was particularly troubling. Where did this powerful yearning for HIS child come from? It just didn't make sense. Something was terribly wrong and Emmeline knew that unless she could come to grips with it, a tragic error was about to unfold.
Thankfully she hadn't told him. Honorable as he was, if Phoebe was able to convey to him the magnitude of the obstacle and if he cared deeply enough about her, then he might be willing to risk her plan. She wondered if he was able to fully comprehend the depth and complexity of Phoebe's feelings. She knew that Trelawney never would tell him. Impulsive as she was, she would never put herself in the middle of her sister's business to that degree. Yet, if Trelawney had even an inkling of Phoebe's ideas then she would probably help her, or at least try to. And, the other children? Of course she would persuade them to do their part, even if they didn't know why.
As they walked into the kitchen for their tea, she realized that underneath Phoebe's bravado there was a very real sadness. Emmeline knew that there was no way that she could truly understand how she felt. There were so many things that Phoebe was facing that were completely out of the realm of her own experience. But she supposed that if she did, then she might be willing to abet the plan. That would be no good. There needed to be one person in this situation who was emotionally detached enough to act with a clear head.
Allowing time for Phoebe to collect herself after the initial confrontation, Emmeline steered the conversation towards catching up on family and friends. But Phoebe seemed unusually distracted. Normally she loved to talk about everyone, where they were and what they were doing. Part of the fun of being a Figalilly was having so many interesting family members to discuss and gossip about.
Finally Emmeline realized that she could bear it no more. "Okay, out with it. You need to talk and I need to listen. I promise I won't say anything until you are all talked out."
Phoebe sighed deeply with relief. She needed someone to confide in. Right now she had no one. The Professor would never understand and Trelawney was too young.
"It is really quite simple. I love him. He loves me. I never want to be apart from him. I want to marry him. I want to sleep by his side each night and bear his children. Don't you see, Emmeline? After all these years of caring for other people's children I want my own."
"Oh my poor Phoebe!" Emmeline heard the aching desire in her voice. "You can have children. No one is saying that you can't."
"But they won't be HIS children. I don't want to leave," she declared passionately. "I know that he will keep me safe, keep us safe, me, and our children. I need to feel safe. I need to feel like I belong somewhere. I've lost so much. I can't bear to lose any more. Please, Emmeline, you can help me. If you told him that he could . . . break his promise, it would all work out."
Phoebe was pleading. She was obviously close to despair. And she was not in full control of herself.
Her final words were most compelling, "Emmeline, you don't know how I feel. It's not JUST an emotional wanting. Sometimes I just ache inside for his child. It's all I can do to restrain myself at times, when the night is dark and still, from going to his bed and . . ."
With a palpable hopelessness in voice she finished, "This is not a passing fancy. His soul speaks to mine. This is real."
Listening to her, Emmeline realized that among other things her grief was clouding her judgment. She had no doubt that there was a very deep and genuine love between Phoebe and the Professor. Knowing them both, it was the only way that either of them knew how to love. Yet so caught up was she in the reason why this relationship was impossible that she failed to see the truth. Ironically, it was that very quality of blindness, that she was so determined to save Phoebe from, that was clouding her own judgment. It never occurred to her that if she herself had ever been in love that her perception of her cousin's feelings would have been entirely different.
But now she considered only the circumstances that had brought them all to this time and place. If all things were equal Phoebe and the Professor would have fallen in love and married. The tragedy may have moved up the timetable but it would have happened . . .
Full clarity of the situation struck Emmeline like a thunderbolt. She excused herself so that she could be alone to think clearly. Phoebe knew it and was hoping that she had finally found an ally within the family who was older than ten years. She immediately let her go outside into the yard by herself.
Emmeline's mind raced with thoughts. Beyond moving any "timetable" up, the tragedy had actually created the circumstances that had ultimately created this heartbreaking situation. Without the tragedy, Phoebe's resulting weakness, and the need for a stable home for Trelawney, in all likelihood Phoebe would not have been here long enough to develop such strong feelings for the Professor. He would have found someone to marry and she would have moved on.
But the tragedy, as she herself had witnessed, had changed them both. Her need for him had given him the opportunity to know her better. They discovered something that one could only discover when extreme circumstances prevail. Superficially it all seemed to be upside-side down but if the psychological forces at play were understood it really all made sense. At the moment, Phoebe's desire for a child, a husband, and a home of her own were very natural consequences of the sudden loss of her own family. That it was a home that she could share with her sister, with a family that readily accepted her, made things all the more perfect.
Now it was her turn to be confused. This epiphany had cast a bright light on the situation that made her see it in an entirely new way. Could Phoebe's potential actions be the hand of fate changing its course, or could they lead to greater tragedy if the wrong choices were made, and fate decided to make a course correction later? It was not within her power to know this.
Her instincts told her however that she should not interfere. Thus no matter how much Phoebe begged, she would not release the Professor from his promise to protect her from himself and his own reckless passion at all costs. When she had exacted it, she had been sure that it was necessary. She was still sure of it, and had no desire to be held accountable for the results of letting him go. Since Phoebe's own reckless passions had now emerged he had to be doubly wary.
If only she could tell him the whole story, explain in detail everything that was coming into play. She suspected that his love ran deeply for Phoebe and that he would help her make the right choice. But that was not how things were. She realized that it was essential that she speak with Trelawney, before she did anything to exacerbate the situation.
Fortunately the child seemed old and wise enough to be fully apprised of the situation. She loved her sister more than anything. She knew the consequences of tampering with fate. Trelawney would understand, she hoped. And if she didn't, perhaps a chat with Hal could help him understand how much was at stake. Although Trelawney was nearly impossible to control when her impulses took over, because she was sure that she was right about something, if she and Hal were set at odds with each, neither would be able to accomplish much effectively.
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But Emmeline quickly discovered that Trelawney was just as determined NOT to speak with her alone, as Emmeline was to have the conversation. As soon as she got home from school she went immediately to Francine's house. Phoebe was amused by her sister's trick, but knew that sooner or later she would have to speak with her cousin. Within the hour a disappointed Trelawney returned home after Francine had been called to an emergency dance rehearsal. Emmeline met her at the door. Sighing she followed the woman into the living room.
"You know you can't encourage this," opened Emmeline.
"I can if I want to," retorted the girl, and then reluctantly added, "Of course I have to figure out how to first."
Emmeline was pleased by the admission. At least Phoebe and the Professor were maintaining solid boundaries where the kids were concerned. If only they could do so between themselves.
"What do you know about it?" she asked.
"Nothing," admitted Trelawney. "But it's not for lack of trying. Phoebe's been too clever for us."
"And the Professor?"
"Well, to be honest, he's more clueless than clever. But he has nothing to hide. Poor man. Left to his own devices she'd end up a spinster or worse. He's besotted, but ineffective," she explained.
"I'm glad to see that you have such respect for him." Trelawney winced at the sarcasm in Emmeline's voice.
"Oh, Em! It's not that. I just don't think he knows what to do. He's so busy being decent. They're never alone, you know."
"Then how do you know that there might be something between them?" Emmeline asked.
"Well let's say that this conversation confirms it . . ." she replied with a mischievous grin. "Oh, Em! Don't look so downcast . . .
"It's as plain as the nose on your face. You should see how they look at each other. They have secrets in their eyes. Every time she's troubled he's there. And when they are not looking directly at each other, you would swear that they were mooning over each other," Trelawney finished impishly.
Emmeline shook her head, "Stay out of it!"
"Why?" she asked. "Nothing's going to happen unless someone gets into it."
"Trelawney, listen! Something is going to happen sooner than you think and it may not be the something you want to happen."
Trelawney stood up and began to walk restlessly in circles around the room. It was an indication of her anxiety and worry. Emmeline watched, knowing that it was useless to continue until the child had settled down. When she was done, she sat down and looked up inquiringly, although now with more concern and less cheek.
"Trelawney, you are no longer a small child. In fact in these past few months you have grown up a lot more quickly than you should have had to. You cannot meddle with the workings of fate and have a good outcome."
"Alright," she had clearly thought this through. "Now suppose, let's just suppose, that I am here right now TO meddle with the workings of fate. Surely fate knows what a good meddler I am!"
If her line of reasoning was not so closely aligned with her own of a few hours ago, Emmeline might have laughed. But this was deadly serious. She thought a long moment before she answered. Trelawney watched her face intently.
"I won't even try to make you promise not to interfere. I know that you won't lie, so trying to persuade you would be a waste of time. But remember what I have said about the workings of fate. Think long and hard before you stick your oar in."
Trelawney was thoughtful. Emmeline decided to take her silence as nominal agreement and went inside. Her next interview was with the Professor.
"Is he home?" she asked Phoebe as she passed through the kitchen.
"In the study," Phoebe didn't even bother to ask who.
The Professor heard the businesslike rap on his door and knew it could only be Emmeline.
"Come in Emmeline."
She peeked her head around the door, "How'd you know?"
"Nobody knocks as emphatically as you do. In fact, pretty much nobody in this house ever knocks," he replied with a smile.
"We need to talk seriously," she said.
"Yes I know, I have some very important issues to discuss with you," he answered.
"Involving Phoebe?"
"Involving Phoebe."
Sound of her first name so easily rolling off his tongue was a bit odd to her ears and made her nervous. She made a decision.
"This will go better if I speak first," she stated firmly.
"Ladies first, go right ahead," he replied. Although he had assumed a relaxed position sitting on the edge of his desk, he looked uneasy. It was finally dawning on him that he might be about to hear something that he didn't want to.
Emmeline had been mentally rehearsing her speech since the morning. She believed that she had finally composed the perfect combination of words that she needed to explain what needed explaining without revealing anything that could influence the course of fate.
"Professor, before I begin it is important for you to realize that Phoebe and I have no secrets. I know about the recent incident of "lapse in self-control" so to speak. I also know that you are the party responsible for making sure that there were no, shall we say, adverse outcomes. I wish to thank you for that."
The professor suddenly looked uncomfortable, but nonetheless seemed unsurprised.
"I believe that you have been puzzled by my cousin's recent behavior. I was too, until I made a discovery. She desperately wants to have a child, your child, and yours alone. She wants to reconstruct her family. You have already got a ready made family here, but in her mind, if she can, she will reconstitute those parent-child connections that she has lost with her own parents, through a child or children of her own. If it is at all possible, that is what she will do."
"Is that really a bad thing?" asked Hal. Nanny had already told him of her desires although with not quite the same detail or spin. He had ascribed her behavior that night to reckless passion when she was at a very low point. He never thought of it as anything devious.
"Oh, Professor," declared Emmeline. "There is not a devious bone in Phoebe's body. I do wish that I could tell you everything, but you are a very smart man and you love Phoebe. You should be able to get this much. As a mathematician you know that when solving difficult problems it is easier to determine the correct answer if you choose to focus on the process rather than the answer. The point is to use the process to prove the answer, not determine the answer before you begin the process.
"In Phoebe's present mental state she is only looking for outcomes. She is very fragile and it would not take much to send her crashing. No one is ever in absolute full control of his or her destiny and life's biggest problems are often created when we try to manipulate destiny."
Having made all her points, Emmeline took a deep breath. "Your turn."
"What I have to say is very simple," stated the Professor briefly, echoing Phoebe's own words. "I love Phoebe and intend to marry her . . . after I figure out how."
His answer was so definitive, if somewhat vague, that Emmeline was saddened. First Phoebe and now this kind and generous man were so profoundly in love that they could only see the future as simple. It was obvious that he could see no other course for their lives. Because of who he was and how his mind worked, he saw it all as "simple." But in his heart she could see that he had a very deep connection with her. Being the man he was, he was unable to fully comprehend it. He only knew what he knew and was determined to act on it.
And Phoebe? She KNEW that these matters were not "simple." Why was it that she was so blatantly ignoring everything that she should have known about her own destiny. What was it about this relationship that made each believe that there was no other course for his or her life?
If she could act of her own free will she would have done everything in her power to bring them together. She could see that there was nothing ephemeral about these feelings. But that was not an option. She was merely permitted to give insight and point out options. It was useless to continue this fruitless conversation.
"I won't bother you any more Professor."
"Thanks for your concern Emmeline, but we'll just have to work this out ourselves."
Hal was now her last hope. Once again she entered the kitchen and without looking up from the stove, Phoebe said, "In the basement."
Making the sharp right turn, she climbed down the stairs to see the young man mixing chemicals. There he had test tubes and beakers full of various mixtures and something that was "cooking" on a Bunsen burner. As usual, it smelled awful.
Trying to ignore the harsh chemical odor she said, "Good afternoon Hal, what are you up to?"
"Oh hi, Cousin Emmeline. Trelawney mentioned you'd be down to talk to me," replied Hal, remaining focused on his work.
"Trelawney has a big mouth. What else did she say?" asked Emmeline.
"Oh nothing you'd understand," said Hal.
"Try me."
"She just told ME to keep my mouth shut because you were about to 'start throwing monkey wrenches about.' Her words, not mine," he answered with a smile.
Emmeline shook her head. Who did Hal think he was dealing with? His father? However, since he thought that he had the upper hand on her, she decided to use his own arrogance to manipulate him.
"Hal, you know that even though things appear to have worked themselves out already, there are a few issues that are still unsettled," she began.
"And how," he agreed.
"I'm guessing that you are trying to make the present arrangement permanent," she continued.
"Right again," said Hal absently. He was at a point in his experiment where it really needed his full attention.
"Have you thought about what might happen if you interfered?"
"Yeah, I guess so . . . well . . . not really," Hal could no longer concentrate on what Emmeline was saying. Things had begun to smoke in a most unstable way.
"Have you read the play 'Twelfth Night?'" she inquired.
Now the potion was beginning to bubble and Emmeline prepared to flee.
"No!" He replied curtly, getting impatient.
Taking a few steps back, she said, "Well, then ask Trelawney. Remember that things are not always as they seem to be."
She fled up the stairs just as the explosion took place. Hal grumbled as he went over to open the small window, "Girls!"
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Emmeline announced at dinner that she would only stay the one night. She had found out all she needed, said what she wanted, and now must be on her way. They all breathed a sigh of relief.
After dinner, Nanny went to the Professor's study, theoretically to tidy. But she really wanted to talk.
"What did she tell you?" she asked the Professor nervously.
Deciding to have a little fun with her, the Professor replied, "Oh, not much. Only that you are a wanton woman who wants to entrap me into marriage by getting herself knocked up."
But Nanny did not see the humor in his shocking and rather tactless remark. The matter was too close to her heart. Seeing her hurt expression, the Professor took her in his arms and held her gently. She slipped her arms around him and rested against him as he began to soothingly stroke her hair. He hadn't meant anything by his remarks other than to tease a little. He realized that her eyes were once again welling with tears. The Professor once again was reminded of the very real fragility of the young woman.
"To be perfectly honest, she talked in circles, like a true Figalilly," answered the Professor more seriously, but also in a comforting tone. "She is obviously worried about you, but the only thing that I can make out from what she said is that she wants me to avoid hurting you. That's nothing new."
Phoebe sighed and rested comfortably in his arms. It had been a long time since she had been there. It once again struck her how safe she felt there. Hal was aware of it too. He continued to stroke her hair while softly whispering "I love you" over and over again. He knew he didn't need to say anything else. Those three words said it all. She was so emotional that she couldn't respond.
She pressed her body closer to his and he caught his breath. Something deep inside him responded. It was something that he had never felt before, even with his first wife, whom he had loved with all his heart. He understood, on almost a primal level, her deep yearning to bear his child. No matter what anyone said, this was not reckless passion. Her feelings went far deeper than just a psychological need to restore the parent-child bond that she had lost. It was about the creation of something entirely new.
The prospect was tantalizing. He felt her desperate need and now shared it. Somewhere deep inside his very core he knew what would happen if he gave in now. But he kept his resolve. In spite of her attempts to contrary he would not give in to their desire for one another, especially with her cousin the house. For a long moment he held her as he fought off his own desires. He won.
In time when they broke apart, he tenderly kissed her forehead and turned away before she could respond. He couldn't bear to see the look of disappointment on her face. She knew how close he had come to claiming her as his own. He felt both the bitter disappointment and acceptance of his choice in her heart. He felt the profound love, endless in proportion that they shared. He didn't move until he heard her leave and close the door behind her.
Feeling even more determined to move the fates in the direction that she wanted Phoebe returned to her evening chores. There was straightening to do and children to be put to bed before she sat down with her cousin for a last chat. She hoped that there would be no more dissension. They had so little time together.
She needn't have feared. Emmeline had seen the futility of trying to get Phoebe to see things her way. Long into the night they talked about family matters, but avoided what was probably the most important family matter of all.
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Meanwhile the children were holding their own meeting. After allowing themselves be put to bed, the boys came over to the girls' room to consult.
"'Twelfth Night'? She must be joking!" cried Trelawney with a hoot of laughter.
"What's so funny?" asked Prudence.
"Well dear, it means that she is either trying to allude that Phoebe and the Professor are brother and sister, or that the Professor is really a woman!"
Trelawney, who knew her Shakespeare well, conveniently left out the shipwreck and the potential disasters of the play. Odd that Emmeline would pick a comedy to make her point, a tragedy would have been much more appropriate, at least from Trelawney's point of view.
"Then what was the point of her mentioning it?" asked Hal, still puzzled.
"Well first of all she wanted to start this conversation. No offense to your schooling Hal, but she knew that you couldn't possibly be as familiar with Shakespeare as you are with Dick and Jane. She also must have wanted you to ask me, which means that she was actually trying to tell me something," she answered, but now became thoughtful.
"Huh?" as usual, Butch was lost. " Why would she think that Nanny and Dad were brother and sister? Or that Dad was a girl?"
"She wasn't, dumb-dumb," answered Hal. "She wanted to remind me to remember that just because something looks one way, it could still actually be another way. It's supposed to be a metaphor."
"Meta- what?" Butch was totally confused.
"More like an allegory," explained Trelawney, even though she knew that Butch wouldn't understand that term either. "But the same idea. She was trying to tell Hal not to mess with things unless he was sure that everything was exactly as he thought it was."
Butch was completely confused, but Prudence caught on. "You mean she doesn't want us meddling?"
"Exactly. She knows that I am a champion meddler and wants Hal to stop me, or at least not help me."
"Why is that?" asked Hal looking at Trelawney closely.
Damn Emmeline, she thought. She's trying to box me in. She knows that I cannot break family confidences and now she's got them all suspicious.
"Okay. I am going to tell you something, but it won't be everything. There are just some things that only a Figalilly can know," she said.
The three Everetts gave her their full attention. Even Butch was able to understand that what Trelawney was about to say was very important.
"You see you don't know absolutely everything about Phoebe and me," she started.
"Well that's nothing new," answered Hal.
"Yes I know, but this is no time for quibbling about details. Just listen," she said impatiently. "Things are different back home and not just because it's England and this is America. Many of things back home are different from things in England as well. Because things are different, it's really not so easy for Phoebe to just marry the Professor."
Prudence was about to say something but Trelawney stopped her.
"No love, not quite that. But I was hoping to get things sorted out before Emmeline came back. If she's here it means that things might be moving it that direction. We just don't know," she finished with a sigh.
"Maybe we could spy on them," suggested Butch.
"T'would never work. Phoebe would know."
"How?" asked Prudence.
"She just would. It's one of those family things I can't talk about."
"But you're our family now," insisted Prudence. "Don't you always call me your little sister?"
"Ah, but you are not a Figalilly and that makes all the difference," replied Trelawney, trying not to sound too proud of her heritage.
"So then, what do we do?" asked Hal, starting to feel frustrated again. He hated not knowing something that Trelawney did. Even though she was two, nearly three years younger than he was, she seemed to know just as much, if not more, than he did.
"Wait."
The other three looked at her expectantly.
"Just wait," she repeated and before they could protest she added, "And be ready. If Emmeline is here and leaving tomorrow it means that something else is about to happen. I can't say what, but it could finally be the turning point."
"Can't you even give a hint?" wheedled Prudence.
"Nope! Not without spilling all the beans."
And that was the final word. The Everetts would just have to wait for that "something" to happen until they could spring into action. However, even Trelawney did not actually know what that "something" was or what that action might be.
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The next morning before the children left for school, Emmeline made her farewells. She really did like the family that she had helped stitch together and she was very sorry that she was about to start to pick apart the stitches, even if it was in absentia. But there was no choice. Having discovered circumstances on the ground, so to speak, she knew that she needed to send in the heavy artillery. She was a bit sad that she would not be present to pick up the pieces when all was said and done, but that was not her role in this tragedy.
At any rate, the hand of fate was presently obscured by so many different issues, that even she could not fully discern it. In fact she didn't have a clue as to the possible outcome. But as she herself had just told the Professor, at this time it was the process, rather than the final outcome, that mattered.
Trelawney was certainly glad to see her go, but the warning about things moving in a direction that she wouldn't like had sobered her up a bit. Although she had made fun of Em's warnings, she still took them seriously. Not for the first time, she wished that she could at least take Hal into her confidence. That would never do, but she still wished it. While she knew that the other children were ready to support her, it would have been nice to have someone to share the whole story with. In time, she thought a bit sadly, in time.
The Professor was the one who had been the least affected by Emmeline's pronouncements. After all she had said nothing new to him. Her elliptical allusions and circumlocutions had gone over his head. And it was not in his nature to try and make things happen anyway. He might be forceful when he needed to address a specific situation, but as long as life meandered along, he was content to let it do so.
Phoebe was the most disturbed of all. While Emmeline's warnings and advice had been very perturbing, like Trelawney, she was smart enough to take them seriously. Emmeline never spoke unless she knew what she was talking about.
Things might not be headed towards their final conclusion, but all of her senses were on the alert for a new crisis point. It would perhaps be the most challenging of all. She questioned whether or not she was ready for it. When everything was finally out in the open she had doubts about her ability to manage them.
She still felt that her original plan, though actually quite cowardly, was the best since it would settle things definitively. But that would never happen. If she told the Professor, all she knew of his behavior and character told her that his actions would be exemplary. His feelings deep ran so deeply for her that he could never act in a way that may dishonor her any way. And would she have loved a man of lesser ideals so much? Thinking it over carefully, she doubted it. He was the man she loved, just as he was, and she would not change a thing about him.
She set aside her reckless thoughts. When the moment of truth came, all she could really hope for was a deus ex machina to come down from the heavens and save her, save them, save their love, and ultimately their family. If God was as merciful as she had always believed he was, he would not have cobbled this family together from a collection of damaged and sorrowing souls only to destroy it. He would not have permitted such a powerful connection of souls to take place if it was in any way wrong. Her God, the one that she believed in, was not of the same nature as the fickle gods of Greek tragedy.
Her God was love. She knew that she must not only have faith, but also hope in love and the rightness of things. She knew that God's greatest gift was love. Looking around at Hal and the children she knew that the love they shared was not accidental. It was real. It was present. Perhaps it was being tested. How often in life is love tested? True love always stands the test of time, the storms of life, and the conflict that would challenge its strength.
As she waved goodbye to Emmeline, the words of St. Paul ran in an endless loop around her mind, like a mantra that would help her find the peace that she so desperately yearned for.
"In the end there are three things that last: faith, hope, and love. And the greatest of these is love."
The End
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