This is my sixth fanfiction. I know a few of you have, um…favorited me, and are waiting for the next chapter(s) of 'Sasuke Needs Help' and 'An Awful Predicament'.

But I am still working on them! Please, be patient! Do not lose your faith in me!

Thank you all very kindly.

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There are just some things in this world you are not allowed to do.

One of those things is…taunting an Uchiha.

Especially a pissed off Uchiha.

It's all written down in the Book of Uchiha Knowledge.

Heck, they've even gone so far as to publish a What Not to Say to an Uchiha: for Dummies.

Because if you mess with them, they will punch you in the face.

So it's clear--Uchihas are, under any circumstances, NOT to be bothered with.

No matter how tough you are.

Or whether you've finally perfected the Rasengan.

Not even if you're their mother.

Because if you mess with them, they will punch you in the face.

Any dumb butt should be able to understand that, right?

…right?

WRONG.

Naruto, the village idiot, was clearly undereducated in the Ways of the Uchiha.

And he had absolutely no Uchiha Evasion Skills.

So, when Sasuke "The Uchiha" Uchiha threw a kunai at his…um, privates, almost castrating him on the spot, not only could Naruto not evade the attack--

He had no clue what he could have possibly done wrong.

"What was that for?!" Naruto shouted, tending to his wounded…um…member.

Sasuke curled his lip and condescendingly mumbled, "Hn."

He topped it off with his famous Uchiha Glare™.

Naruto will think twice before ever asking Sasuke "ARE YOU GAY, OR SOMETHIN'?!" again.

Or maybe not.

Because he asked him the same question the next day.

He and Sasuke had been training together since seven o'clock that morning. At ten o'clock, they stopped to take a break.

Naruto glanced over at Sasuke, who had taken off his shirt and began to pour water over his head.

"Hey, I could've done that for you," Naruto said, grinning.

He was referring to the pouring-water-on-Sasuke's-head thing.

Because he clearly didn't have any feelings for him.

"Hn," Sasuke grumbled.

Naruto rolled his eyes. He was so getting tired of Sasuke's short replies. Did he have, like, a limited supply of words or something?

Naruto opened a Twinkie and inhaled deeply. It smelled good. He raised the Twinkie to his mouth, preparing to bite.

But then he looked over at Sasuke and stopped.

Sasuke was drinking what was left of his bottled water, his pinkie delicately raised.

…well, you know what they say: "When in doubt, pinkie out!"

Quoted directly from The Quirks and Clichés of Patrick Star: Spongebob Squarepants Ep. 2, Tea at the Treedome.

The Revised edition.

Naruto bust out laughing. In between gasps, he took a small bite of Twinkie.

Sasuke was glaring at Naruto menacingly. He just knew Naruto was laughing at him.

"What's so funny." It was more of a statement that a question.

"Why are you holding your pinkie like that?!" Naruto giggled. "Are you, like, gay or something?!"

Naruto was ill prepared for what happened next.

After he'd arrived at the hospital minutes later, Kakashi at his side yelling "Stay with me, Naruto! Stay with me!" and the surgeons doing everything in their power to successfully remove the Evian bottle that Sasuke had expertly shoved up his…rear end, Nurse Tsunade (who was also the Hokage) asked him "What happened?"

Naruto didn't want to talk about it.

But he did think twice before asking Sasuke that question again.

Instead…he just watched him.

Sasuke was at Ichiraku's, eating a bowl of ramen. Naruto hadn't touched his ramen, which was a surprise. He just stared at Sasuke through narrowed eyes.

His eating habits were unusual.

"Fruitcake," Naruto mumbled.

Sasuke heard his remark. "What?" He growled.

Naruto started sweating. "Um, I-I didn't say anything," He stammered. He pushed his bowl away and laughed nervously. "W-Well, I guess I should be going. Have a nice day, Sasuke! God bless your heart and all your parts!"

And then he took off running.

Naruto ran thorough the village, pushing people out of the way, knocking over fruit stands, and accidentally foiling an attempted robbery.

He finally stopped when he made it to a clearing in the middle of the woods.

He looked around the tree, trying to catch his breath. Sasuke was nowhere to be found.

He breathed a sigh of relief. He turned to walk away and--

"AAAAAAAHHH!"

Sasuke was standing next to him, his Sharingan activated.

Naruto almost peed on himself.

"I'msorryI'msorrypleasedon'thurtme!"

Sasuke grabbed the front of Naruto's jacket and pulled him close…

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Haha. Cliffhanger.

Chapter Two is on it's way…right after chapter four of 'Sasuke Needs Help'.

Thank you for reading.