This was co-written with Wolfy or stormtwilightnight as I think her fan fiction is called.
Just a two-shot dedicated to our amazing friend Spark whose Birthday is coming up soon! Happy birthday! We meant to make it a One-Shot but it didn't exactly work. We will be using the names of the characters of Twilght rather than the actors but the use the actors for SWAC, we know this is awkward but deal with it. This is rated T because Wolfy is a pain in the f*****g ass.
Wolfy: Malt Twisney studios presents…
… the hip…*
… the new…
… the awesome…
… the-
Sapphire: JUST GET TO THE F*****G POINT!
Wolfy: Okay okay! Chill! Okay let me start ag-
Sapphire: JUST SAY CAST SWAP!
Wolfy: Well you just did it! Thanks a lot!
Sapphire: Well now that that's covered. Here is our story for Spark!
Wolfy: Chocolate monkeys and cheese. Apples are racist. My maths teacher is Santa Claus. Jingle bells. E equals-
Sapphire: SHUT THE F**K UP DUMB ASS! Now here is the story. *smiles sweetly*
Wolfy: *glares* MC SQUARED!
Cast Swap
The two teens were sitting on their window seats in their office. All was quiet. Until…
"I'm BORED! There's nothing to do! Why is there nothing to do!" The one going by the name of Wolfy Jenny Lockhart, whined.
"Come on Wolfs, we're TV presenters there must be- yeah we have nothing to do." The one with the name of Sapphire Sky Dublin, sighed agreeing with her sister in everything but blood.
There was a silence for a moment until Wolfy looked out the window and stated the obvious. "It's twilight now."
Sapphire sighed. "And SWAC's coming on now." The two girls smirked and then quickly turned to each other, saying at the same time
"I thought of it first! No you didn't! Yes I did!"
Wolfy yelled on her friend Coco whilst Sapphire yelled on Harmony.
Wolfy looked at Sapphire confused. "Why did you yell on Harmony?" She asked.
"Because I know she'll be on my side. Why did you yell on Coco?" Sapphire retorted.
"Because I know she would be on my side!" Wolfy replied.
"Well then there's only one answer…" The long haired brunette said.
"SPARK!" They said in unison.
~Happy Birthday Spark~ ~Happy Birthday Spark~ ~Happy Birthday Spark~
After a long discussion/argument/debate they came to the conclusion that they both thought of it at the same time, they decided to actually get on with the plan in the first place.
Harmony held the camera, Coco the boom mike, and Spark stood next to Harmony, shaking her head.
Sapphire and Wolfy stood at the door of the SWAC set grinning like idiots, well Wolfy smirking like a creep, but you get the point. They wore ripped skinny jeans and bright off the shoulder tops, Sapphire's in neon blue and Wolfy's in neon pink with matching stilettos. They had make-up on and coloured streaks in their hair to match their outfits.
Inside the set the cast were shooting a live show, in which they had no idea that a crew of friends, filming their latest TV show, were about to come and interrupt the performance.
Back with the girls they were watching the shoot on an ipad. It was a (very serious to Sapphire) channy moment. All was calm until Harmony said it was time to go in.
"No!" Sapphire whisper-yelled. "It's the middle of a channy moment! They might kiss! Please don't- OH! THEY KISSED!" She exclaimed clapping and jumping up and down.
"God help me." Wolfy said to the camera which, by now, was on and broadcasting live.
"Okay we can go in now!" Sapphire said, to the camera like Wolfy. "Now beware we may surprise them so much they call security."
"Oh don't worry! I have a taser!" Wolfy grinned.
"Keep telling yourself that. Maybe one day it will happen." Sapphire placed a hand on her friends shoulder.
Wolfy pouted. "Okay then… CHARGE!" They ran in, Wolfy taser in hand.
Sterling tried to call security but before he could, Wolfy tasered him.
"Arrrrgggghhhhhhh" he yelped then fell unconscious.
Sapphire had a shocked expression. "Wow. She really did have a taser…" Her eyes went wide. "OH MY GOD! SHE JUST TASERED STERLING KNIGHT!"
"Hehehe, that was fun!" said Wolfy, "Again, again!"
Sapphire glared, "You just tasered a b****y celebrity and all you have to say is 'hehehe that was fun, again, again!' Gah! We are on live TV! Everyone just saw you taser Sterling Knight. I cannot believe you!"
"Yes! I made the news! I can see the headline now, 'Sterling Knight tasered by teen girl!'. Anyway, I did tell you that I had a taser and you didn't believe me so technically its your fault that I got away with it because if you had believed me then this might not have happened. You know that I shouldn't be trusted with these things. Remember what happened last time. You gave me a lighter and I set Joe Jonas on fire."
"But I don't actually hate Sterling Knight!" Sapphire stated. By now the whole studio audience and cast were staring at the pair, cameras rolling.
"Yes but it's still the same thing, wait you gave me the lighter on purpose. You knew that I would set him on fire." Wolfy pouted, "You used my little self control for evil. I like you!"
"Hello? I'm still unconscious!" Sterling woke up.
"SHUT UP!" Wolfy tasered him again.
"YOU JUST DID IT AGAIN! Why don't you just taser the whole cast?" Sapphire asked rhetorically and sarcastically.
"Okay!" Wolfy chirped slowly prowling towards Demi.
"No way!" Sapphire said taking the taser off Wolfy.
"Awww! You ruin my fun," Wolfy pouted, then smiled evilly, "I have a lighter!" She then proceeded to setting Sapphire's sleeve on fire
"EEEEEEEEPP!" Sapphire squeaked, "Someone get me some f*****g water!"
Doug (Grady) ran forward with water, throwing it on Sapphire's whole body, rather than just the sleeve. Sapphire was fuming.
Wolfy began hiding behind Doug, "If she wasn't so wet, then you would see steam coming out her ears and maybe her hair going as red as Spark's" she stated.
Sapphire growled and charged at Wolfy, "I'm going to kill you!" She screamed. Doug sighed in relief, "You after her!" Sapphire added.
His eyes widened. "Help me." He 'manly' squeaked.
Wolfy stopped running and grabbed her taser off the ground. Sapphire had dropped it in her fury. "Come any closer and I shall taser Demi! Hehehe!" Wolfy said.
Demi started to back away.
"Oh no you don't!" Wolfy said, grabbing Demi, "Feel a strange sense of déjà vu Sapphire."
"What? Oh yeah. Role play. Yeah you grabbed 'ImSoSonny' and held Bellatrix's wand to her head threatening to kill her!" Sapphire exclaimed.
"But I didn't!" said Wolfy (no pun/quote intended).
Everyone stared, confused at the two.
"Well, sorry to have to wrap this up. You know that I love a good fight but we need to take the cast of SWAC and then go rampage the set of Twilight!" said Spark.
~Happy Birthday Spark~ ~Happy Birthday Spark~ ~Happy Birthday Spark~
On the set of Twilight, they where filming the scene in BD were all the good people thought they were going to die. The bit at the end before Alice gets there with the hybrid.
Sapphire and Wolfy had been attached to the invisible ropes and were ready to go.
I gotta feeling started playing and the pair dropped down onto the set, singing along, Sapphire with a drumstick, pretending it's a wand, Wolfy with, well, who knows?
"I gotta feeling, that tonight's gonna be a good night… Oh woops, we meant to come at the beginning or the end (pun intended) but our timing was delayed because of a lighter and a taser." Sapphire gritted her teeth.
The two girls got down from the wires.
"Who had the taser?" Emmett asked.
"Wolfy!" Sapphire said, "Wait, if she brought that to SWAC then… what did she bring here?"
"Well… I brought this!" Wolfy pulls out a gun, "Run whilst you still can!" She points it at Sapphire
"Don't you dare! I'm to young to die!" Sapphire made a lung at the gun as Wolfy pulled the trigger.
The ammo shot toward Aro.
"Arrrrrgghhhh!" He screamed.
"OMG. YOU JUST SHOT A PERSON IN THE EYE! WAIT WHY DIDN'T IT KILL HIM?" Sapphire said.
"It's a BB Gun, it shoots pellets" Wolfy stated.
"Right…" said Sapphire, not exactly knowing what to say to that.
"Hey do you want me to shoot Edward?" Wolfy muttered to Sapphire.
Sapphire nodded.
"Attack!" Wolfy shouted, shooting Edward in the ear, then the nose and then where no boy wants to be shot, or, in other words, his privates!
"What the hell!" He shouted.
"Hehehe, well anyway, straight to the point. We need to nick Edward, Bella, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett for our new TV show. Don't worry they will hopefully live to tell the tale if anything." said Wolfy.
Disclaimer:
Sapphire: *15 minutes before Spark's party, dressed**calling Wolfy*
Wolfy: *Picks up phone* Hey Sapph!
Sapph: Hey Wolfs. I need your help.
Wolfy: With what?
Sapph: Spark's birthday present from us.
Wolfy: Why?
Sapph: It refuses to get in the box! Do you have *said louder* A TRANQUILLISER GUN?
Taylor Lautner: *in back round* Getting in the box!
Sapph: oh… never mind.
Wolfs: okay! See you soon! Bye!
Sapph: BYE!
Sapph: *wraps present* *wraps different outfits* *puts box on trolley and walks to Spark's house* *gives present to Spark*
Wolfy and Sapph: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Spark: *Opens present* OH MY GOD! YOU GUYS GOT ME TAYLOR LAUTNER!
Taylor: GET ME OUT OF HERE!
Sapph: yes. Now you can give me and Wolfy the rights to everything mentioned in this story.
Spark: not gonna happen. SAPPHIRE AND WOLFY OWN NOTHING BUT THE PLOT!