A/N There may be some period related homophobia to be found. This is no way reflects my opinions.

Aramis swayed as yet another Parisian pushed passed him to get into the tavern.

"Mind out of the way," the next man growled as he too shoved the musketeer aside.

"Sorry, sorry," Aramis murmured. He steadied himself and took a breath. He hadn't realised he'd stopped. Stopped. Aramis never stopped.

He shuddered in the cool night air. Enough. He had to face this.

He reached forward, pushed the door and, with his head bowed, he finally stepped inside. He kept moving and then realised he would eventually have to raise his head. Heart pounding in his ears, he slowly started to look up. Their eyes met instantly. Aramis felt his stomach lurch and immediately looked down again but it seemed the rest of his body didn't know what to do. Stopped again. He didn't know how long he had been stood there just trying his hardest to breathe when he felt a breath in his ear.

"Follow me," the man whispered. Aramis willed his feet to move.

The other man led him to the entrance of the cellar.

"We'll be alone here," he gave as an explanation.

Aramis walked passed him without a word and went to stand in the farthest corner. He didn't turn around but instead hovered in front of some barrels.

"You came back," the man stated behind him. He chose to stand just inside the doorway.

"Yes," Aramis replied distantly and then he snorted lightly but without humour, "It occurred to me that you...that you are possibly the only person who knows how I am feeling."

The man let out a sigh, "I...I...I don't know how I am feeling."

Only then did Aramis turn around. "Precisely," he said allowing a small, nervous smile.

When their eyes met, they both felt a stab of something. If only they knew what it was and what to do with it.

"I'm sorry I left," Aramis apologised quietly.

"I hardly encouraged you to stay."

Again they smiled at each other but then the moment broke as a part of Aramis snapped. He swung round, whipped the hat off his head and ran his hands through his hair ferociously.

"What did we do?" he gritted, "What the hell did we do?"

The other man remained back; waiting and watching. He found he had no answers.

Aramis turned to face him again with tears in his eyes. All anger had disappeared as quickly as it came and now he sounded devastated, "Henri? What did we do?"

Henri closed the distance between them and before he had time to think he was placing what would have been a comforting hand on Aramis' arm. It didn't feel comforting. Not now.

Aramis stared at the hand. Every part of him aware of the touch, "It's wrong."

"Yes," Henri said because what else could he say? It was wrong.

"I couldn't even bring myself to pray," Aramis admitted. The hand on his arm was removed and Henri wrapped his arms around himself defensively.

"There is only us that know."

Aramis blinked and tilted his head in question.

"We don't ever have to speak of it," Henri continued. He was fixated on a spot on the floor, "It never happened."

A knot was forming in Aramis' stomach. "It never happened?" he mused.

Henri stepped backwards suddenly, "Under the circumstances, it may be best if we never see each other again." The words were spat out at pace and held a venom that made Aramis jolt.

"Is that what you want?" Aramis found the question tumbling from his lips. It was aggressive and accusing.

Henri's eyes burnt. He said nothing.

Aramis nodded, rubbed his eyes harshly and replaced the hat on his head, "Fine. Fine." He stated firmly as he swiftly made for the exit. He needed to get out before he shattered like broken glass.

"Aramis..."

The musketeer halted at his name. Said in a way it had never been said before. A lifeline in a sea of confusion.

"I don't..." Henri faltered as he continued, "I don't want you to leave."

The musketeer shook his head. He was exhausted. "What do you want?"

Silence. Then there were footsteps. Purposeful footsteps and strong hands were twisting Aramis around on the spot.

"I want you," Henri breathed as he lent forward and tentatively touched his forehead to the other man's. Aramis melted against him.

"I know it's wrong," Henri whispered as tears started to fall, "A sin. We'll be hung."

"So we can't," Aramis sighed and despite his words, he softly nuzzled Henri, "We can't." Hands took hold of each of his cheeks and he was gently forced into looking directly at the other man.

"No one needs to know."

Aramis could feel the hope blazing in Henri's eyes as they locked on him intensely but in his head, his own stupid head, the truth rang like an alarm, "It won't last."

Henri closed his eyes. His whole body drooped but it wasn't to be for long as soft lips met his chastely.

His eyes snapped back open. Aramis had a small smirk gracing his own tear streaked face, "I've always been reckless." Aramis never stopped.

...