"We are extremely sorry to be contacting you like this, we understand that it's been several months since the last attempt. We honestly don't know how it was misplaced, but when we found it, we contacted you right away." The nurse rambled on her apologies. Scully actually felt bad for her, having to make this phone call, knowing what she herself had been through. It was not a call that she expected to receive, since it had been months since she left that life in DC behind.
After the x-files went up in flames, and they ordered her transfer to Salt Lake City, Utah, Scully found it the best opportunity. The only caution that she held on accepting the change of scenery, was leaving Mulder behind. The separation was hard on the both of them, and the daily phone calls had now diminished to casual pleasantries, once a month or so.
She let out the breath she didn't realize she was holding, and managed to mumble words into the phone, to let the nurse know she was still listening to her rambling on. She didn't know how to take this information, or what to do with it. She had given up that hope so long ago that she wouldn't be able to conceive a child. After the failed attempts, she had come to an acceptance. This was another chance.
"...want to come for a consult?" The nurse asked again.
"I'm sorry, what? I don't think I - I didn't catch what you said." Scully asked, clearly disengaged from the conversation.
"It's okay, I know this information can be rather overwhelming. The doctor wants to know if you would like to come in for a consult, to try an attempt with the last vile. We would just need to set up an appointment, if this is something you would like to do."
"I - I don't live in the area anymore. I - uh..." Scully stammered out. Truth was, she didn't know if she wanted this. When she had walked away from that life, she had left everything behind her. She wanted to forget about the pain she endured, and the darkness that seemed to lurk around every corner of her life. Moving to a completely different part of the country seemed like the most opportune decision for a new start. This would pull her right back to the very place that she tried so hard to run away from. It could also potentially give her the one thing she desired most.
"We could always arrange for a later date, so you would have time to make your way here. Although, I'm sure you know this, but the sooner we can get started the better. Since the embryo was already fertilized with the others, it has just remained frozen." The nurse said almost sympathetically.
Scully didn't know how to process any of this information. She now had a chance, just one final chance, to carry a child. She didn't know if she could emotionally handle the risks of it not working like the others, but she would chastise herself more for not even attempting it.
"Yeah, uh, I should be able to take some leave next week. Can we schedule for a mid week appointment?" She answered, not really recognizing the voice or words coming out of her mouth.
"Of course, we'll set the date. We will see you then."
The final click of the phone set in the reality of the situation for Scully. She didn't know what this turn of events would lead to, but she knew that she had some decisions to make. She smiled to herself at the thought of having just one more chance. She never did give up on her miracle.
Instantly following that thought, she paled and the actual reality of the full situation began to tug at her nerves. This decision didn't just involve her, there were two parts to this equation. Mulder. She would have to tell him, or would she? When she first asked him to be the sperm donor, they hadn't really discussed the formalities of what that meant. As she went through her treatments and attempts, there was an ambiguous cloud of unknown hanging above them. She never thought that he would want to be as involved in the raising of the child as she was, but then again, he was always there for her after her attempts failed. She could see the sorrow in his eyes every time she told him it didn't work, she just never knew if it was for her, or he was feeling the pain of a personal loss as well.
She shook herself from these thoughts, she didn't need to tell him anything she wasn't sure of. She had decided that she was going to see the doctor, find out her options, and then move forward from there. She could spare at least one of them the pain of this process.
Scully managed to take half of the following week off, and nervously made her way back to DC. She would be staying with her mom through the weekend, since she hadn't seen her since she left for her new life several months ago. Her mother was thrilled to hear about the visit, and more than accommodating. Maggie Scully knew there was a specific reason, more than just a visit, that her daughter was returning, but she wouldn't pry until she was here.
When Scully arrived, her mother had picked her up from the airport and they made their way to one of their favorite restaurants for lunch. She could tell her mother had questions, she could see it in her eyes, but she wasn't ready for a full fledged interrogation. She wanted to have her own answers first.
They made their way to the tiny cafe, and situated themselves at a table. Her mother glanced at her over her tea cup as she took a sip, and Scully could see the quizzical gleam in her mother's eyes. She let out a heavy sigh, she should have known this wasn't going to be easy.
"How's Salt Lake City?" Her mother asked innocently enough, but Scully knew it was only the beginning.
"It's great. Definitely a weather change, but I've adjusted rather nicely. Not as busy as it was here, but I don't mind the change of pace either." She smiled at her mother, wishing, hoping for the conversation to stay this simple.
"I'm happy that you've managed to adjust, I'll have to visit sometime soon. Speaking of visiting, what brings you back for such an extended weekend?"
Scully almost chuckled to herself at how smooth her mother thought she was being. She had anticipated this, she just didn't know if she was ready to speak about it out loud.
"I - uh, I got a phone call last week. Um, there's some things I need to handle here. Just some loose ends to tie up. I figured I'd squeeze in a visit while I was out here, and extended through the weekend." She would have smiled at her mother if she didn't notice the shock horror that flashed over her face. She panicked and the anxiety began to build inside of her. "Mom? What's wrong?"
"I'm fine, Dana." Scully winced at the all too familiar words. This must have been how Mulder felt. "I just, I thought you leaving would get you away from the mess you worked in here. To know that you're coming right back to it, I just..."
"No, Mom, no. I didn't come back for the work, I - there's..." She paused and took a deep breath. Might as well tell someone, maybe she wouldn't have to do this alone. "My fertility doctor called and said that there was one more vile, that had been misplaced. They said that it's been stored safely, and if I wanted to, we could try one more attempt. That's - that's why I'm here. I have a consult with them tomorrow morning to figure out my options."
"Oh honey, that's, great news isn't it?" Maggie was holding back emotions, for her daughter's benefit. She didn't want Dana to be as heartbroken as she was before if this didn't work out again. She tried to gage on her daughter's feelings about the situation, but she received nothing.
"Yeah, I think so. It'll be hard adjusting to that as well, in Salt Lake, but if it works out, it will be wonderful."
"You would stay out there? What about Fox? You don't have anyone out there, honey. You could move back here, and stay with me for a while so that I can help you, so that Fox can help you."
"Uh, he - he doesn't know about this yet. I haven't really talked to him much, since I moved. We tried to keep contact, but it just became difficult with our workloads and the time difference. I, Mom, I don't know if I would even tell him if it did work." She said exasperated. She had been avoiding the Mulder situation and involvement, and now that it was out there, she didn't know how to feel.
"Dana, you have to tell him. It would be his child, too."
"Yes, but when he originally agreed, he signed as a sperm donor. There was never really a discussion about his involvement, and he never implied that he wanted anything more. This is all happening rather fast, I'll think about it more once I have a definitive answer, okay?"
"Fine. But promise me, you will think about moving back so that I can at least help you. I don't doubt that you can do it on your own, but I'd like to at least give you that option." Maggie said warmly, grasping her daughter's hands within her own for comfort.
"Thank you. I might not even have to worry about anything, this could still fail." Scully practically scoffed.
"You have to pray that you will have what God intended, don't give up on that faith." Her mother patted her hands and they resumed their lunch, exchanging more simple pleasantries.
The following day, Scully made her way to the doctor's office for her appointment. The nervous energy was bound up inside of her, clouding the hopeful expectations she had going into this consult. She didn't know what to expect, or if she would even have the option to have this chance. She never imagined she would be back to see her fertility doctor, and discuss conceiving a child. As she waited, the thoughts of her doing the right thing began to run through her mind. She never wanted to disconnect from Mulder as much as she had, but they had drifted so far apart. She had contemplated calling him while she was in town, but didn't know if she could handle seeing him again.
She was broken from her reverie as the nurse called her in. She drew her blood, and created the samples to test where Scully's natural hormones were. Coming off of the hormone treatment had been a hard transition, her body had taken a toll, and leaving just added to the emotional distress she was already facing.
A short while later, the doctor came in, smiling a timid smile, almost as if she was ashamed of the current predicament.
"Dana, it's so nice to see you again. How have you been?" Dr. Mendoza asked genuinely. She had switched fertility doctor's after the first two failed attempts. She wanted a second, or third, opinion. She had been through so much, that she was just looking for someone to hopefully give her the answer that she was unknowingly seeking.
"I've been great. I, uh, moved several months ago to Salt Lake City. It's been a nice transition, a slowing of pace for me." Scully answered almost solemnly.
"Sounds like you've had to make some adjustments. That's good though, given that this works. I'm not going to beat around the bush with you, Dana. There is only one embryo to implant, and we didn't even think we had that. We checked, and it's very viable. You obviously haven't been undergoing any proper hormone treatment, but your current levels aren't too far off where we would want them to be for this procedure. You have a few options, if you want to hear them."
"I - I do. I honestly didn't think I would have this opportunity again, and I would chastise myself more without even trying. So what are my options?"
"Since your body cycle is where we need it to be, we can give you the medication to prep your body to handle the embryo. It's been kept frozen, so after 3-6 days we can implant. Once it's implanted, I'll give you medication to maintain your estrogen levels, and we would have to test about two weeks following for signs of pregnancy."
"I have to fly back on Sunday, I only made it a long weekend, to see what my options even were. I might be able to extend until Monday."
"Monday would be best, if that's possible. If we start you on the medication today, we can implant on Saturday. That would be the third day, and we are generally closed, but given the situation, I would make an exception for you."
"Thank you. I - I want to get started, then." Scully answered in almost a whisper. She honestly wasn't sure what she was expecting, coming here today, but everything was sounding so hopeful. She knew the chances of impregnating on one embryo were slim, but Dr. Mendoza seemed to have enough hope for the both of them.
After she was given her prescription, she made her way to one of her favorite spots, the Reflecting Pool. She sat on a familiar bench, and basked in the scenery. She never realized how much she truly missed this place, there was always so much darkness shadowing over its natural beauty. She pondered on her mother's suggestion, but didn't know if she could handle moving back. She had gone through so many personal battles to acclimate to her new surroundings, she felt that coming back to where she started would be giant leaps backwards.
Scully was so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't realized how busy the area had gotten for lunch time. She began to gather her things and head back to her mom's house when a familiar voice stopped her.
"Scully...Dana, what are you doing back here? How have you been?" Walter Skinner asked, clearly surprised to see her back in DC.
"Sir, I - uh, was just visiting my mother. I'm doing great, I've adjusted nicely to Salt Lake City, and yourself?" She asked passively. She wasn't planning on running into anyone she knew on her short trip back, but she should have known that's not how things worked out for her.
"I'm great, just been busy with work. Do - does Mulder know you're in town?" He asked, trying to hide the worry in his voice. She had caught on the minute Mulder's name left his mouth.
"It's a quick trip. He doesn't know I'm here. Why, is everything okay, Sir?" She asked as her eyebrow began to raise. It never mattered that he was her superior, she always won a glaring contest.
"Yeah, everything's fine. He, uh, has just been in a rut lately. Personally speaking. Professionally, he's the star of the Violent Crimes Section again, but I think it's taking a toll on him. There's - uh, no one really to reign him in when he needs it the most. I think his mind has taken a beating, but he refuses to take a break. I just thought, catching up with an old friend might do him some good." He said almost in one breath. The worry he felt for Mulder was so clearly evident on his face.
"I will try to reach out with him while I'm here, if I get the chance. It was nice catching up with you, Sir. I should be on my way." Scully said with a small smile trying to mask the mixed emotions she knew were occupying her face. She made a brisk exit, and slumped in her mother's car that she had borrowed for the day.
She was overwhelmed with everything that had happened in the past week. As strong of an appearance as she tried to maintain, she was crumbling inside. She let a tear escape her eye as she mulled over the strange twist of events. On instinct, she wanted to call Mulder and make sure that he was okay, given the insight that Skinner had provided. Truth is, she was terrified that her contacting him would send him spinning down a darker spiral.
Their last exchange was brief, and rather impersonal. It had appeared to her that they had just drifted apart, and he had no interest in speaking with her on the level that they had once been connected. She groused at the thought that he was handling a difficult case, and didn't want to involve her. She had been so selfish, thinking he just simply didn't care anymore. The tears began to flow freely, as she realized she could have helped him. She could have still been the person to bring him back when he desperately needed it. He was too proud to ask, and she was too stubborn to realize it wasn't about her at all. She wanted to make things right, but she knew that if the procedure worked, it would only further complicate things down the road. She was at a complete loss as how to proceed.
Scully finally made it back to her mother's house, and Maggie could instantly sense that something had happened. Her first instinct said that it had to do with the doctor's appointment, so she just engulfed her daughter into a tight embrace.
"Honey, what happened?" Maggie asked gently.
"I think the hormones are already getting the best of me, as implausible as that is." Scully said in a light chuckle.
"So the doctor's appointment went well?"
"As well as it could have, given the situation. I'm taking medication to prep my body for the implantation of the embryo, and that'll happen on Saturday. If you're not busy, I would need you to drive me. She wants me to rest on Sunday, and then I'll fly back early Monday morning, so I'm not missing too much work." She said through her sniffles of her dried up tears.
"So then what's wrong? Don't tell me it's nothing, Dana." Her mother said sternly, but with genuine concern.
"I - uh, ran into someone from work, from work here. He said, that Mulder isn't doing too good, personally. It made me consider seeing him while I'm here, but-" She paused, trying to find the right words to satisfy her mother's worried expression. "I don't want to cause more pain in his life, add stress that he doesn't need. I think us disconnecting was hard on him, but I don't want to further complicate things either." She said cautiously. She wasn't ready to have this conversation.
"Honey, if this treatment works, you'll have to tell him. He would be the child's father, you can't just ignore that fact."
"I'm not ignoring it, Mom. I just don't want to make any preemptive decisions right now. I'll cross that bridge if I come to it. Neither of us need that added stress hanging above us." Scully said, slightly annoyed. She knew her mother meant well, and that she loved Mulder as if he was already part of the family, but she didn't need to currently think about that. She also prayed that her mother didn't go behind her back and meddle for her.
Scully spent the rest of the week visiting with her mother, and avoiding the bigger issue at hand. She figured suppressing her emotions would be the best way to not add stress to her mind, and her body. Saturday had approached too quickly, and she managed to stay calm the entire ride to the office. Her mother drove her, as promised, and could sense that she was trying to hide her nervous energy. When they reached the doctor's office, Scully was taken back right away, given that they were closed. Before she made her way to the room, Maggie gave her a gentle hug, letting her know everything was going to be okay.
The procedure itself was rather quick, and she was told to lay there for a while longer. The doctor gave her the hormone medication to maintain, and wished her luck. They had discussed whether Scully would return in two weeks for the ultimate results, or whether she would try to find a doctor in Salt Lake City. Over the course of her visit, Scully had questioned whether she would stay in Salt Lake City at all.
"I need to make some arrangements, but I will plan to have the results read here." She answered with finality in her voice. Her decision was made.
"Perfect, I look forward to seeing you then." Dr. Mendoza answered a smile as she made her exit.
Scully hadn't really made an final plans, but she knew she wouldn't be able to raise a child in an unfamiliar place, with no one really around. She wouldn't do it if she had ulterior options. She had also pondered on how much she truly missed DC. It wasn't a hard decision to make, moving back, even if the embryo didn't take. She wanted to come home, or as much of a home as she had ever felt she had.
Regardless of the darkness of her past that clouded this place, it was her home. The people she loved were here, and with them, she could get through anything. They quietly made their way back to her mother's house, she had a lot of decisions to make.
Two weeks had come and past, and she knew it was time for her to make her way back to DC. Scully had her appointment already set up for the following day after her arrival. She also had a meeting set up with Georgetown Medical for later that afternoon. She was moving back home, regardless of the outcome. She knew that this is where she needed to be.
She still hadn't contacted Mulder. She was too weary about involving him before there was anything to involve him in. She also had finalized her decision just last week, and needed to come to these conclusions on her own. She didn't want anyone wagering her either way. Her mother was more than ecstatic to have her back, since she would be staying with her for a while.
When it came time for the doctor's appointment, she had expressed to her mother that she wanted to go alone. She knew if it was a dreadful outcome, she would want to handle it on her own, before having to face the pitiful eyes of others. She could feel her nerves working in overdrive, and tried to control her emotions. She got situated in the gown she was given, and blood tests were taken.
When the doctor entered, she had a shy smile on her face. Scully couldn't decipher whether she was trying to be consoling, or she was excited about the results. The quick check up turned into an hour long appointment, and Scully's thoughts were flying through her head sporadically.
She was running right on time for her meeting with Georgetown, and had to compose herself to nail this position. She spoke with the attending, and he was more than excited to have her join their research team. Her background in pathology was the perfect addition to their small group, and she would still be able to help in the morgue if need be. Scully was more than happy to hear that she would be working semi-regular hours, and it would be a lighter case load than she would have even been working back in Salt Lake City.
"You definitely match all the credentials that we are looking for, so we would love to bring you on with us." Dr. Studden exclaimed. He was a middle-aged man who clearly was enthralled with the work he conducted.
"I would love to accept, I do just need to disclose one thing. It won't affect my work in any way, and the research project end date is before there would be any complications for me, but..." She paused and a slow smile crept across her face, as it was the first time she said it out loud, to a stranger nonetheless. "I'm pregnant."