I just could not resist. You can also do a version with Harley, the Joker and Poison Ivy.
Please… I know it's not worth it, but R&R!
Goodbye Bill, Or What Should Have Happened.
Jeanette, Jervis and Alice were the best of friends
All through their high school days
All three members of the 4-H club
Alice active in the FFA.
After graduation the two J's set out
To find them a bright new world
Alice looked all around Gotham
And all she found was Bill.
Well it wasn't two weeks after she got married
Alice started getting abused
She put on dark glasses and long-sleeved blouses
And makeup to cover her bruise
Well she finally got the nerve to file for divorce
She let the law take it from there
But Bill walked right through that restraining order
And put her in intensive care.
Then Jeanette and Jervis flew in from Wonderland
On a red-eye midnight flight
They held Alice's hands and they worked out a plan
It didn't take them long to decide
That Bill had to die!
(Goodbye Bill)
Those black-eyed peas?
They tasted all right to me, Bill
You're feeling weak?
Why don't you lay down and sleep, Bill?
Ain't it dark?
Wrapped up in that tarp, Bill?
Well the cops came by to bring Bill in
They searched the house high and low
Then they tipped their hats and said
"Thank you, sir and ladies
If you hear from him, let us know."
Well the weeks went by and spring turned to summer
And summer faded into fall
It turned out Bill was a missing person
That nobody missed at all.
So Jeanette bought some land and a roadside stand
On Highway 109
And Jervis married Alice and they moved to Wonderland
And the J's don't lose their sleep at night
'Cause Bill had to die!
Flashback:
We need a break
Let's go out to the lake, Bill!
We'll pack a lunch
Stuff you in the trunk, Bill!
Is that all right?
Good, let's go for a ride, Bill!
AND EVERYONE BUT BILLY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
Assume that Jeanette persuaded Jervis to use poison instead of axing him.
I don't own 'Goodbye Earl'; it's a Dixie Chicks song.