Daniel is a dead man.
This statement can't be said enough as far as Sam is concerned, so she says it again out loud.
"Now now Major. Play nice."
She is considering adding her commanding officer's name to the statement.
She doesn't care how many times Daniel has died and come back to life already; she is going to make it happen again. Permanently.
"I won't look at his face when I do it." she mumbles. And she won't, because he will look at her with that puppy dog expression that always gets him what he wants and she won't be able to do it.
Well she would, but then she would feel guilty later remembering his face and he doesn't deserve it.
It had been that damn puppy dog look that had got her in this mess in the first place.
"Just stand over there Sam," she mimics his earlier words in a deliberately nasally voice "Just put your hand on that lever."
Colonel O'Neill leans over the edge of the hole thirty feet above her "Did you say something Carter?"
"Daniel is going to die."
He rolls his eyes, but the expression is completely lost on her because she has her eyes squeezed shut and her hands clamped over them for good measure.
"Perhaps it would be prudent to leave Major Carter where she is, to ensure that no harm befalls Daniel Jackson."
Teal'c just made it to the list.
She misses whatever the Colonel says to Teal'c in response, because she feels something.
Something bad.
"Colonel..." she whispers.
He's disappeared from the hole and can't hear her.
"Colonel..." she tries a bit louder, but still no one appears.
"COLONEL O'NEILL!!!"
Her panicked voice echoes around the underground chamber for the few seconds it takes for him to come back.
"Jeez Carter! What is it?"
She peels her hands away from her face and looks up at him miserably.
"Please shoot me."
His lips press together tightly and she knows he is trying not to laugh at her.
"I hate you." she says, which only amuses him more. Bastard.
She won't go so far as to say that to him though. A small part of her brain, which isn't currently freaking out over her current predicament (or plotting ways to murder her entire team), is wondering if she really did just tell her commanding officer that she hates him.
It's only a tiny part though and soon shuts up when she feels the really bad thing again.
"Sir...there's something crawling down my neck."
She must sound as pathetic as she feels because his smile actually transforms into sympathy. "Daniel will be back real soon Carter. Just hang in there."
Daniel is supposed to be running back to camp to get the rope to pull her out of this hell hole she fell into because of him.
Oh sure, he'd acted all concerned when the lever had flipped down as soon as she touched it and a giant trap door had appeared beneath her feet and the look on his face as she fell into the blackness below had been priceless.
But none of these facts where going to save him.
"Daniel is a dead man."
The Colonel sighs "So you've said."
She narrows her eyes at him "It's worth saying again."
"Perhaps. But I seem to recall someone always talking me out of it when I say that."
"Well now I'm agreeing with you," she growls "you should be pleased."
He smiles "Oh I am. I'm going to remind you of this the next time I'm ready to do him serious injury."
"Please do."
"Sure."
The thing on her neck creeps a little lower and she cringes.
Her legs are beginning to ache from standing so rigid for so long, but she absolutely refuses to move a muscle.
When she fell into the cavern, she had landed painfully on her ass. Once she had established that nothing was broken, she had decided to take a second to catch her breath and just laid there sprawled on the floor.
Daniel had immediately appeared above her at the trap door, all concerned eyebrow waggling and facial contortions but she had already noticed something wasn't right.
Something was in fact terribly terribly wrong.
The ground was moving.
The ground she was laying on was moving...
...with thousands and thousands of insects.
She couldn't get up fast enough and had possibly sprained something in her haste, but she could blame that on the fall later. She had screeched at Daniel to get her out, to pull her up, but the distance was too far even when he leaned as far in as he could and she jumped towards his outstretched arms.
Jumping had been bad.
It had led to crunching sounds.
Daniel had looked terrified, but she had a feeling it was because of the screeching and issuing of death threats rather than a fear of what was lurking in the hell he had dropped her in.
So here she was stuck in a god forsaken insect pit with no way out and waiting on an accident prone archaeologist who had probably tripped and knocked himself unconscious on his way back to camp.
There was no other explanation (that she would accept) for why he was taking so long.
A loud swishing noise preceded something hitting her ear and she screamed, scraping her hands over her ear to dislodge whatever horrible creature was on her.
"Relax Carter! It's just the rope!"
"What?" she gasped and frowned uncomprehendingly at the rope dangling in front of her face, adrenaline still racing through her.
Then she glared up at him "A little warning would be nice!"
She's sure she's never been this rude to a commanding officer in her life, but at the moment she doesn't care, he deserves it (and so much more).
"You coming?" He is finding this way too amusing.
She gets a secure grip on the rope and nods up at him.
By the speed she approaches the hatch and safety, she assumes Teal'c is the one pulling her up. She practically flies back up through the gap and scrabbles out as quickly as she can. No way in hell is she risking falling back in.
The guys all stand there looking at her. Slightly nervously she is pleased to note.
The bad feeling happens again and she wrenches at her clothing.
"Getitoffgetitoff!" her jacket flies in one direction, her shirt in the other. Helping hands slide over her shoulders and neck as they flick off the disgusting cockroach like beetles.
She doesn't stop until she is down to her underwear and hops about simultaneously trying to get the ones off of her legs at the same time as getting them out of her hair.
Teal'c stomps his heavy boots on her scattered clothing.
Daniel and the Colonel are just standing there gaping at her.
"Daniel so help me, if you don't get every last one of those damn things off my clothes..." she leaves the threat hanging, it's enough to snap him back to reality and he starts to carefully inspect her Teal'c battered clothing.
The Colonel is still staring.
Something skitters up her arm and she shrieks, swatting at it while trying to pull her face away from it.
"Come here." The Colonel says quietly and gently grasps her arm before flicking the creature away.
"Thanks" she gasps.
He's smiling again.
Oh. He's smiling. Not laughing.
She quite likes the smile he is giving her.
Maybe she will spare him after all.
"Wanna help me kill Daniel?" she asks with a small smile of her own.
He grins "Yeah sure you betcha."
Daniel straightens nervously "Hey, come on guys…"
"Start running Daniel."
It's the only warning she gives him.
END