Written for the TV Prompt Challenge - My prompt was "The Cosby Show - It's not easy being green". This is what I made of it. Please review!
Disclaimer: Don't own it. Oh, and it's not beta'ed, and I really need to leave now, anyway.
The tears in her eyes were already starting to fall down as he kissed her. She silently cursed herself – her she was, receiving a wonderful –no, perfect– kiss from someone she liked a lot, and she was crying and not responding.
When he felt the wetness, he pulled back.
"Emily, what's wrong?" he asked worriedly, cupping her face.
She shook her head, desperately trying to put her mask back in place. She had used it so many times before, why was it failing now, of all times?
"Never mind, it's not… it's stupid," she said to him, holding back from telling him 'continue'. It had felt good, but the intimacy, the way it had said I love you… it was too much, especially now that he was looking at her with kind brown eyes, trying to find out what was wrong with her – if only he just acted like an actual man, acting on his instincts – she wouldn't have problems with intimacy then. If only…
"Emily, when a woman is crying while I kiss her, something is wrong," he told her sternly, and she couldn't help but smile. Even Aaron Hotchner couldn't always keep Agent Hotchner and Aaron separated.
"I promise, I'm fine," she said, looking away again. She could not deal with this now, so much closeness, so much… she couldn't think of any other word. So much love.
She wasn't by any means inexperienced. There were plenty of men she had been with. She had even had boyfriends, though it had never ended very well.
But this – this was different. This was intimate, emotional and messy. It was not the clean, physical relationship she was used to. It didn't give her instant sexual gratification. No, it was much more mental. It was also much harder to compartmentalize, because he invaded every part of her brain – work, home, past, family – he was in every one of them. Somehow, in these three months they had had 'something', he had managed to slip into her mind and he was proving now he wouldn't leave.
She was scared – scared of the possible consequence, the outcome of this thing that they had. She knew how she felt about him – but she hadn't known how he felt, and that had been safe. She could have pretended like it was mostly physical, like there was only a small personal connection, the one that she had inadvertently had with most men. That was something she could not avoid – compartmentalize though she may, she knew it could never be simply physical with her.
"Emily?" His voice entered her thoughts and she shot up, having been so lost in her thoughts she had almost forgotten him.
When he saw he had her attention again, he gently smiled at her.
"I know it's scary, Em," he told her, using his nickname for her. "I know it's different." He was watching her face to see a sign that he was right, and he got it when she slowly nodded her head affirmatively.
"We can go at whatever speed you want," he said. "Your choice."
She took a shaky breath. "It's just – I don't know anything about this." She sounded frustrated. "I can't deal with it right now, not at this moment. It's – It's got to build up."
Without even naming the issue, they both knew what they were talking about.
"I know," he promised her. He leaned forward to kiss her on the forehead, an intimate gesture he was quite fond of. "Your pace, I promise."
She closed her eyes. What had she done to deserve this man?