The Mary-Sue
A/N: This was in response to last year's ISAT writing prompt ("Write about a time when something unexpected happened."). Our English teacher thought we should practice for ISAT's in class, and we had twenty minutes to do this. After our teacher assured us we could make the whole thing up, I wrote this from the perspective of a Rabid Movie!Legolas Fangirl (although I myself am not currently a fangirl. No offense to Book!Legolas and/or Movie!Legolas Fangirls.) A couple of ideas were from Hika's "Family Values, Chapter One" and She Who Gives Migraines' "I, Grusbalk". I edited this slightly as I typed it up.
Disclaimer: Tolkien is God. All bow down and worship. ^_^ None of his stuff is mine. Duh. And I didn't come up with the PPC (Protectors Of The Plot Continuum).
I was sitting at the computer, reading through another LOTR fanfic. I wished that I could go to Middle-Earth. The landscapes, the people . . . the elves. Like (yum) Legolas. I absolutely adored the LOTR movies! Legolas was sooooo cute! A total hottie. I'd never read the books, of course; they'd ruin the movies. Besides, they were all long and boring. They were written up by some weird guy named Tolkien, who probably stole Peter Jackson's great idea.
I turned back to the computer screen with a sigh, then gasped in surprise as a face stared back at me! It looked kinda like that old guy played by Hugo Weaving -- Elrond? He didn't seem to notice I was there, though. [This is *just* like in the stories!] I thought. He seemed to be addressing a group of people, by the way he sounded. Oh, my GAWD, he was talking to the Fellowship! I just HAD to go meet them. I jumped through the screen and tumbled -- a little less gracefully than I'd imagined, though -- into the Council Of Elrond.
I sat up and looked around. Well, this was VERY strange . . . the hobbits were a lot shorter than I thought . . . and they didn't look quite the same. I didn't see Aragorn and -- um -- that dude who died . . . Boromir, just a couple of old guys. Even older than my DAD! And wait . . . where was my darling Leggy-poo? I gasped again. This wasn't llike the movie at all! Not close to what I'd ever imagined! In Legolas' place was a brown- haired FREAK! And instead of kissing my feet and falling in love with me, everyone seemed to be backing away . . .
"Mary-Sue! MARY-SUE!" screamed Legolas girlishly, nancing away in fright. I looked around for the evil girl called Mary-Sue that scared my Legsie so. However, the only person around was ME! Was Legolas hallucinating?
Before I could think or make a move to defeat this invisible "Mary-Sue", a couple of teenagers crashed through the bushes where they'd been hiding nearby.
"Halt! This is the PPC! Put your hands on your head, 'Sue!" one of them shouted. The other came towards me with a pair of handcuffs. "Don't try to resist," he warned, "you'll just make it worse." I tried to execute a flying ninja kick to his head, but sadly, passing into Middle-Earth hadn't given me any special powers like in Legomances. As the PPC agents took me away, one of them began reading me my rights. I stretched for one last glimpse of my brown-haired Legolas impersonator, but the agent dragging me along hit me on the head with a frying pan, and I blacked out.
A/N: This was in response to last year's ISAT writing prompt ("Write about a time when something unexpected happened."). Our English teacher thought we should practice for ISAT's in class, and we had twenty minutes to do this. After our teacher assured us we could make the whole thing up, I wrote this from the perspective of a Rabid Movie!Legolas Fangirl (although I myself am not currently a fangirl. No offense to Book!Legolas and/or Movie!Legolas Fangirls.) A couple of ideas were from Hika's "Family Values, Chapter One" and She Who Gives Migraines' "I, Grusbalk". I edited this slightly as I typed it up.
Disclaimer: Tolkien is God. All bow down and worship. ^_^ None of his stuff is mine. Duh. And I didn't come up with the PPC (Protectors Of The Plot Continuum).
I was sitting at the computer, reading through another LOTR fanfic. I wished that I could go to Middle-Earth. The landscapes, the people . . . the elves. Like (yum) Legolas. I absolutely adored the LOTR movies! Legolas was sooooo cute! A total hottie. I'd never read the books, of course; they'd ruin the movies. Besides, they were all long and boring. They were written up by some weird guy named Tolkien, who probably stole Peter Jackson's great idea.
I turned back to the computer screen with a sigh, then gasped in surprise as a face stared back at me! It looked kinda like that old guy played by Hugo Weaving -- Elrond? He didn't seem to notice I was there, though. [This is *just* like in the stories!] I thought. He seemed to be addressing a group of people, by the way he sounded. Oh, my GAWD, he was talking to the Fellowship! I just HAD to go meet them. I jumped through the screen and tumbled -- a little less gracefully than I'd imagined, though -- into the Council Of Elrond.
I sat up and looked around. Well, this was VERY strange . . . the hobbits were a lot shorter than I thought . . . and they didn't look quite the same. I didn't see Aragorn and -- um -- that dude who died . . . Boromir, just a couple of old guys. Even older than my DAD! And wait . . . where was my darling Leggy-poo? I gasped again. This wasn't llike the movie at all! Not close to what I'd ever imagined! In Legolas' place was a brown- haired FREAK! And instead of kissing my feet and falling in love with me, everyone seemed to be backing away . . .
"Mary-Sue! MARY-SUE!" screamed Legolas girlishly, nancing away in fright. I looked around for the evil girl called Mary-Sue that scared my Legsie so. However, the only person around was ME! Was Legolas hallucinating?
Before I could think or make a move to defeat this invisible "Mary-Sue", a couple of teenagers crashed through the bushes where they'd been hiding nearby.
"Halt! This is the PPC! Put your hands on your head, 'Sue!" one of them shouted. The other came towards me with a pair of handcuffs. "Don't try to resist," he warned, "you'll just make it worse." I tried to execute a flying ninja kick to his head, but sadly, passing into Middle-Earth hadn't given me any special powers like in Legomances. As the PPC agents took me away, one of them began reading me my rights. I stretched for one last glimpse of my brown-haired Legolas impersonator, but the agent dragging me along hit me on the head with a frying pan, and I blacked out.